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Children's hysterias are angry. All of them get tired and break off on loved ones. And everything is worried about trifles. And Larisa Surkov lives in harmony with him and knows how to find a common language with children, and they are for a minute! - Five. The thing is that Larisa is a famous psychologist, coach, author of books. She knows that he is hiding behind the children's hysterias and whims, it is possible to make children listen, and what tricks help your mother do not go crazy from such a beautiful, but such exhausting phenomenon like motherhood.

It is useless to talk about love for yourself, rest .... because the women themselves are first screaming: it is impossible. Maybe. Let's look at the options.

• Rest is a change of activity, it may be short. Change in every day little things. One day we walk with a carriage left, and the other - to the right.
• Movement - any: a little squats, to make a special charge, phytball or yoga.
• Speak Stop Time. Let's try now? Your task is to postpone the phone, close your eyes and submit, for example, orange. You clean it, the juice flows, and the taste is sour! It may take 3-5 seconds, but allows you to overload in the moment.

Tip # 2: Almost always in the whims and hysterics of children are to blame

Hysteria is a powerful emotional lunge aimed at the output of certain experiences. She quickly passes without attentive eyes and attempts to calm down. What else is important: hysterics is unloading. 5-10 minutes aged 4-5 years can be shown, and a longer crying can entail problems.

What to do?

• Best struggle - prevention. If the day was rich in emotions, pay the baby, put to sleep before. If you know that hysterics happens in the mall, stop the child there to drive there.
• The hysteria is inflated viewers. Let the child be alone, the most close person. Do not say anything, be close. After 2-3 minutes, start saying quietly and firmly, trying to switch attention.
• Difficult is difficult, but you can try. You can talk about what prompts the action: go, see, change the situation.
• Loneliness. After 2 years in a familiar setting, you can leave a child one by the number of minutes, corresponding to the child's age: 2 years - 2 minutes.
• Keep yourself in your hands. Remember: the baby is hard, it grows, changes, hysterics caused by the fact that a small person simply does not know how to live with the flow of emotions.

Almost always, parents are guilty in children's hysterics and whims. We first allow all the child, and then suddenly begin to raise it. One of the factors of capricious behavior is the mismatch of the position of the mother and the dad. This generates internal anxiety in the body of the child, he is trying to establish the comfortable rules of life by the method of manipulation - hysterical.

Tip number 3: the preschooler just does not know how to do something called you

"He makes me called!", "I don't understand what he wants from me," he just likes me to get it! " - How often can I hear complaints from parents, especially if the child is 1-5 years old. What are the reasons?

• In this matter, your child is your reflection. You are sad, scary, no money, you are angry, knighted with my spouse? The child will cut out you, which means ... right! Annoy you even more! Please, analysis of the behavior of a child under the age of 5 years always start with myself and your emotions. The child only shouts you: "Mommy, I understand you, I support you!" Only, of course, we do not want such support.
• The child feels bad physically. Children are difficult to describe it, even those who can speak. They will just whine and, as you think, make you. Try hug, regret it.
• Wants attention. When "not up to him" today, tomorrow and in a week, it all is summed up. And the child's patience ends. So invented by the nature that he is the center of the Universe. And he does not understand and never understand what your business is more important and more.
• You taught him so to communicate. If the child increases the voice, he will also learn how to do it. If you are always happy with him, he will be glad to you. Everything is simple.

If you do not know at all what to do and how to cope, sit next to and watch ... You know, this is my favorite method. Do not blame yourself at this moment or fall into hysterics. Just wait silently. You are not guilty, you just do not understand, and this is normal, because you and he is different people.

The child should be able to observe different emotions. Creek as the highest form of an indulgence demonstration. Abnormally, when anger is chronic emotion. And here it is necessary to understand and help yourself. Very important point: I'm not encouraging a cry on children! I'm talking about another and very important:

• Patient - cry.
• Funny - Laugh.
• Corn - shout.

But let it make it a child. Without phrases, "It does not hurt, not Noah," "Nothing is not funny," "Not ORI! Think, I threw your crawl! ". The prohibition of showing emotions to itself and children leads only to the suppression of feelings. This causes psychosomatic diseases, apathetic and depressive states, as well as hypertrophied manifestations of feelings, when they were suppressed long, and in the end, the child just begins to scream, and this is his form of communication.

Tip number 5: A child, like anyone, should know the boundaries of the permitted

Imagine: you will be thrown into an unknown island and say: "Do what you want." But local laws will not report. It is possible to be eaten if that. And the child is even more difficult. After all, he is a blank leaf.

What is important when outline the framework:

• They must correspond to age. In 2 years, long text from you is a suspicion that Mom wants to talk about something, but it is not clear what.
• It is necessary to be consistent. If you go to the heat in the park and on the call: "Ma-a-a-am, I want ice cream" - immediately said: "No", then stand on your own. Otherwise, when in response you will die: "Yes, two, only silent," in the mind of the child quickly clicks: "We need to remember that the hysteria leads to the desired."
• The child does not know in advance what is good, but what is bad. And it is not necessary to give a poddle for him for told your girlfriend: "Wow, what a fat!" After all, he did not know that it was impossible, he studies everything through the stinging of the cones.

Tip No. 6: Rules should relate not only to the kid, but also the whole family

Every day I receive requests to give a list how to stop screaming and beat children. There are points basic, for all, and there are individual. But in any case, the keyword "we".

• We always apologize to the child for our inappropriate behavior. So he learns to analyze his actions, and we start rapidly sin.
• We speak the family of feelings. Not only for the child or children, but also to each other. You will not even imagine that they mean the words of love for a child of any age, as well as the realization that parents love each other.
• On the family Council Choose stop words. These are words that every member of the family can say if the other enters the other.
• We do not sleep in a quarrel and be sure to create a family ritual before bedtime: in three noses, hugging and so on.
• Whatever happens in our life, we go with this in the family. Together we will handle everything.

Tip № 7: Knowledge of several psychological techniques helps easier to endure a child's disease

Very much depends on our state. Here is my algorithm if the children are ill:

• I take a pause for 3-5 minutes and engaged in autotraining. I tell myself that it is nestless.
• I turn on the "regime of a quiet face." It is very important for the recovery of the child.
• No dancing around him: "Oh, dyatko, they are taking it!", "Here you have candy and cartoons of darkness." So we show that it is good and profitable.
• We are building plans that will be when he recovers: what we will do, where to go.
• Look at the disease objectively. No need to die along with the child because of each runny nose. This is important for him. We are adults, and we are obliged to be strong and solve our problems for the sake of children.

Tip number 8. Do not allocate the life of the son or daughter with your fear and anxieties

In order not to project your fears and complexes on the child, it is best to get rid of them. When people are preparing for pregnancy, they pass a large number of Doctors, surrender analyzes, but I believe that a visit to the psychologist is no less important. But, unfortunately, no one does.

• As soon as you start panicing, take the paper and handle and write: "My psychos right now worsen the state of my child." As in school, in work on mistakes, write as many times as written. Came faith? Stop writing.

Tip number 9: Trust between children and adults is most important

Trust is not a rash, not permissiveness, not weakness from parents. This is an understanding of the fact that if your child once needs help - he will come to you.

What does confidence kill?

• Aggression from adults, unreasonable accusations of the child's address, especially on the basis of words of other adults.
• Deception from parents, especially if you "take" a previously given promise.
• Lack of answers to children's questions. For example: "Mom, why are you sad?" And the answer: "It doesn't matter" or "I am not sad." You can say: "Cute, I'm just a little tired at work." So you show that you need to share all what is happening.

What to do?

• Starting with itself early age Head weigh the need for prohibit. It is very important. Well, let's say, why it is absolutely impossible to run on the puddles, if in the street warm and I want? Run together! And avoid the forms "it is impossible, and everything" or "it is impossible, because I said so."
• Remember the mandatory communication, do not close the children, say and ask questions. Explain everything you can explain.
"I'm honest with you," "I tell you the truth." We teach children we learn. "It will not hurt", and here - Batz! - and needle hide for analysis. The child perceives it as a sign: to lie normally.

Love for children. Capital truths:

• Up to 5 years, a child has an internal feeling of time, space and distances. Therefore, your late, "Let's rather", "still a little bit" and "very soon" is your problem. The child does not understand what you want from him, and it causes panic, hysterical and protest.
• If you are constantly looking for a way to effectively punish a child, start with punish yourself! In 99% of cases, his behavior is your wine, it means to punish yourself.
• Remember: 80% of the child's success, its development and how he will grow depends on society. Children flourish from attention, understanding and, on the contrary, get rid of indifference to them.
• Each child needs time to self-determination. Warn it about your intentions. Even if he is a year and you just want to go for a walk. He with this thought should be bought up, as at this age he can have his own "cases."
• Love your child, and not your ideal idea of \u200b\u200bhim, and remember: it is primarily a person!

Do you agree with the fact that mom does not just need, but is obliged to relax for the benefit of the family? Are you ready to sacrifice cooking and cleaning for your good mood?

1. Speak your son or daughter: "People should be easily with you." Do not be afraid to repeat it.

2. When you scold a child, do not use expressions: "You are always", "you are generally", "forever you". Your child is always good at all, he only made something wrong today, about it and tell him.

3. Do not part with the child in a quarrel, first come up, and then go on your affairs.

4. Try the child to be tied to the house, returning home, do not forget to say: "But still, how good we have at home."

5. Inscribed the child a long-known mental health formula: "You are good, but no better than others."

6. Our conversations with children are often poor, so read every day with children out loud (even with a teenager) good bookThis will greatly enrich your spiritual communication.

7. In disputes with the child, at least sometimes we give up that it does not seem that they are always right. By this, you and children teach to give way, recognize mistakes and defeats.

I would like to stay on the recommendations that must be followed at the preparation stage in order not to repel the child to learn.

Avoid excessive requirements. Do not ask the child everything immediately. Your requirements must comply with the level of development of its skills and cognitive abilities. Do not forget that such important and necessary qualities as adjacent, accuracy, the responsibility is not formed immediately. The child is still learning to manage themselves, organize its activities and very much needs to be supported, understanding and approved by adults. The task of the Dad and Mom is to be patient and help the child.

The right to an error. It is important that the child is not afraid to make mistakes. If he does not work out, do not scold. Otherwise, he will be afraid to be wrong, it will believe that nothing can. Even an adult, when he learn something new, not everything immediately succeeds. If you notice a mistake, pay attention to it and offer to fix. And be sure to praise. Praise for every even quite tiny success.

Do not think for the child. Helping the child to fulfill the task, do not interfere in everything he does. Otherwise, the child will begin to think that he is not able to cope with the task independently. Do not think and do not decide for him, otherwise he will quickly understand that he has no need to engage, parents will still help everything.

Do not miss the first difficulties. Pay attention to any difficulties of your child and as needed to contact the specialists. If a child has health problems, be sure to deal with treatment, since future training loads can significantly worsen the condition of the child. If something bothers you in behavior, feel free to contact the psychologist and advice. If a child has a speech problem, visit the speech therapist.

Arrange holidays. Be sure to arrange small holidays. It is not difficult to come up for this. Rejoice to his successes. Let you and your child will be a good mood.

Children of choleric temperament:

· Active, quickly take off and bring it to the end.

· Love mass games and competitions, often organize them.

· Active in the lesson, easily included in the work.

· It is difficult for them to carry out activities requiring smooth movements, slow and calm tempo.

· Show impatience, sharpness of movements, gustiness, so it can make a lot of mistakes, irregularly writing letters, not add words, etc.

· Unrestrained, hot-tempered are incapable of self-control in emotional circumstances.

· Absultable and angry, the state of resentment and anger can be stable and long.

· Email the ability to brake itself, unwanted reactions.

· It is necessary to constantly and persistently demand calm and deliberate answers, calm and unwitting movements.

· Educating restraint in behavior and relationships with comrades and adults.

· In labor activities to bring up the sequence, accuracy and order in operation.

· Encourage initiative.

· Speaking is emphasized calm, quiet voice.

Classes and hobbies.

The main thing is to turn this frantic energy into the right channel. Holers are especially recommended to engage in mobile sports - this will give out the desire for leadership, training will be taught to control their movements, rely on forces. A choleric needs a lot of living space, more often to come with him in nature and do not forget that, provided by himself, a fearless choleric can easily get into an unpleasant adventure. It is better to explore unfamiliar places with him.

To compensate for excessive consideration and inattention, help him realize that often the quality is much more important than speed. Your motto is better less, yes better! To strengthen brake processes, deal with it with design, drawing, manual labor, needlework. Remember that you will have to constantly monitor him to check my work and finished it to the end. Try not to annoyed if he is distracted, and in every way encourage any manifestation of diligence and patience. Teach him to vote first out loud, then the stages of work and follow their plan.

Communication.

It is especially important to teach him to establish relationships in the team - you can't be next to him constantly. Make a child to analyze your behavior, disassemble conflict situations with it, discuss books and films, pronounce the options of faithful behavior.

An elementary account for themselves, and respiratory gymnastics will help the self-control. Show him a way to exit accumulated emotions - let the sports pear rushes, throws a pillow in the corner: everything is better than tearing anger on people.

His desire to be the first can also be used for peaceful purposes. Give him the role of explaining, teacher, and you will have a good chance, playing the pride of the leader, to teach it to be more patient and attentive. Just do not let it goes to a self-shot - constantly emphasize that an adult, an experienced person knows how to control his emotions and take into account the interests of other people.

Child Choler likes to read about heroic exposures and adventures - admire the exposure, patience and the foresight of his favorite characters, buy books where the heroes won precisely at the expense of the will and ability to get along with the surrounding people. In no case do not get it at all, do not put in the example of a "good boy Vasya", it will only cause anger.

Have you learned in this description your child? Then get patience and try to understand that a choleric and himself would be glad to learn to keep himself in her hands - help him.

Sanguine children

· Different with great liveliness.

· Always ready to take part in any business and are often taken immediately for a lot.

· Can cool quickly to the work started.

· Take hot participation in games, but during the game the game is inclined to constantly change their role.

· They can easily be offended and painted, but resentment forget quickly.

· Tears are quickly replaced by a smile or laughter.

· Emotional experiences are more often shallow.

· Mobility is often wrapped by the lack of due focus, hasty, sometimes superficiality.

· Educating prishability, sustainable interests, more serious attitude towards any cause.

· Learn to be responsible for your promises

· Give to feel the advantages of loyalty in friendship, in sympathy.

Recommendations to teachers and parents: classes and hobbies. Sanguinics also need a moving lifestyle, but in sports they will not strongly strive for the result. They are interested in the process itself, find him a good friendly coach and do not try to make a professional athlete from him contrary to his desire. Parents should make the main emphasis in classes on the ability to focus on the work performed and bring it to the end. Designers, puzzles, needlework, constructing models and other games that require attention and care, help develop collections and accuracy. Sanguinics can be demanding and, of course, should not be exercised at the same time. You can easily ask him to remake work and evaluate the result itself.

Do not support the Sanguinik in his desire for frequent change of activity. Help him deeper to learn the subject he took up. Usually, it is important for such children to help step over the nearest rapids, and they will take care of the work with new forces. If this is not done, the child will throw another passion as soon as it requires unusual effort.

It is very important to encourage the perseverance of such children, diligence and purposefulness and gradually increase the requirements of the requirements, seeking sustainability and effectiveness.

Do not let him miss the classes too often if he visits a circle, make sure that he does not forget about the "little things" in the work, point to him how much it looks like and unreliable, if it is performed without compliance with "unnecessary", according to child, rules, patiently teach it homework or drawing. And, of course, praise him, rejoice at His successes, surprise the results and tell how interesting will be later when it is further advanced in his classes.

Communication. Discuss with the child his relationship with peers and close people, encourage him to think about what in his behavior can offend or delight others. Try to interest it with classes in theatrical circle.

Your child is exactly the "sun"? Then forgive him the impermanence - this is not a vice, but a feature of temperament. Help him adjust his character, and it will grow reliable, sustainable stress, sociable and successful person.

Children of phlegmatic temperament

· Feelings are poorly pronounced.

· Calm and even behavior.

· Low-consuming, do not touch anyone, do not hurt.

· If they are called to a quarrel, they usually try to avoid it.

· Not prone to moving and noisy games.

· Do not oppress and usually not arranged to merry.

· Help to overcome their some tape.

· Develop greater mobility and sociability.

· Do not allow them to show indifference to activities, lethargy, inertness.

· It is more often forced to work in a lesson.

· Cause them emotional attitude To what they do themselves and their comrades.

Classes and hobbies. Do not be afraid to trust the child, it is sufficiently responsible and is found to fulfill the entrusted matter. Your motto should be a famous folk saying - you go quiet, you will go further. True, from time to time brazing is not moderately slow phlegmatics so that he finally fell asleep. Tell him interesting news from the surrounding world, develop creative thinking with drawing, music, chess. It may be interested in those sports that do not require a quick response.

Communication. It is imperative to teach him to understand the feelings and emotions of other people. Disassemble the motives of the actions of his peers, relatives or favorite heroes. Discussing, try to say more, and not you, help him to form my opinion and defend him, otherwise he will behave stereotypically, adjusting to the behavior of others and borrowing their point of view.

On the other hand, if it does not show phlegmatics on time that there are people with other views on life, he will ensure that the surrounding methodically observed all those rules that he established for himself. Stubborn bore - this is whom you risk to grow, if you do not teach it tolerance. Such " white crow"Maybe not to upset if most peers do not communicate with him. Those who do not want to live as he, phlegmatic quietly accounts to the category of" wrong "people, and will not worry due to lack of attention to his person. Therefore, often Other people have more problems with phlegmatics than phlegmatics with them. Help him learn to understand and take views other than his own.

Children with melancholic temperament

· Behave quietly and modestly, they are often confused when they are treated with questions.

· They are not easy to cheer or offend, but the caused feeling of resentment is preserved for a long time.

· They are not immediately taken for work or are involved in the game, but if they take it for any case, they show constancy and sustainability.

· Softness, cloth, sensitivity and goodwill in relationships with these children.

· In the lessons more often asking, creating a calm atmosphere during the response.

· Approval is played a big role, praise, prubing, which helps strengthen faith in yourself.

· Developing performance, remember that these guys are quickly overwhelmed.

· Develop sociability.

Classes and hobbies. Melancholic with difficulty is included in the collective games, but, maybe overcome himself, having fun with everyone with pleasure. Help him get involved in the game, teach him to get acquainted, make the first phrases with whom it will come to unfamiliar peers. Review him that failure does not make it worse than the rest. Your motto in communication with Melancholik - "People are trusted to be mistaken."

For melancholic, it is important to constantly receive support for loved ones. Praise, praise and praise once again, look even in failures positive moments. For example, if something failed, praise it for the fact that he generally decided to engage in this case. Switch his attention to the result of the activity, and not on the assessment. Ask you to demonstrate it to achieve it, admire and enjoy him. Stress that you are confident in his power and know that he can cope with the task. Speak him about it, remind of past successes.

Teach him to perceive the mistake as a tip to future successes, calmly disable without negative estimates, which was failure, and discuss how to act next time. Tell him the cases with whom he will surely cope and the result of which will be able to evaluate as much as possible. If he draws, make a funny wallpaper with him for a school holiday, playing - learn a popular song with him; ask the teacher to read in front of his whole class best essayIf he writes well ... This will help him gain confidence to solve more complex tasks.

Communication.Such children most often feel "White Vorona" in the team and suffer from this, despite the fact that they do not have a great need for communication. A durable melancholic is hard to enter into new Class, participate in shared affairs and entertainment. Try to become for him the closest man he can trust. Do not disclose it secrets, do not criticize too much. Philosophy with him, discuss the situations that you watched, demonstrate that you are very interested to listen to his stories about yourself, his thoughts about the world around. Learn it to find a way out of conflict situations, to defend your opinion, but in no case put it on it.

If Melancholic feels cozy in the team, he can play the role of a brain center, a kind of gray cardinal, and enjoy respect for his fiction and ingenuity.

Memo for parents. Difficulties in communication with the child

Types bad behavior. What are manifested. How to fix the behavior of a child.

The goal that the child unconsciously pursues	Baby behavior	Adult reaction	Child response to adult responses
1. To attract attention	Sheet, noise, stuck in the conversation, does not listen to others.	Pay attention and annoy	Stops for a while, then starts again	1. Miecan 2. To change attention when it behaves well. 3. Add question: "Maybe you want me to pay attention to you?"
2. Show what has power over others	Refuses to do what they want from him	Trying to use his power to make something to do, begins to be angry	Stubborn or strengthen disobedience	Avoid fighting power
3. Pay, revenge, take revenge	Harm or spoils things, may offend	They consider a child for a living and evil, feel angry, insult	Feels offended, seeks to pay back even for it	Do not show your anger and insult
4. Demonstrate its inability and inadequacy	Unable to learn independent skills, requires help	Agree with the fact that the child is not capable of	It remains helpless	Check the abilities and the possibility of a child, let him understand what they believe in it.

Ten commandments to fathers and mothers

1. Take a child as it is.

2. Never order from whim. No shameless orders. Not to interfere with the life of a child is just as dangerous as interinted incentive.

3. Never take solutions alone. Golden Rule family life - Diarghey. When Father and Mother contradict each other - for a child it is an entertaining spectacle.

4. Keep confidence in the one who will contradict you.

5. In terms of gifts - no frills. We have learned to deny children. The refusal brings more benefits, because it teaches to distinguish the necessary from unnecessary.

6. In all act as a personal example. You can seek only what you are doing.

7. Speak about everything without fear. Speech is gold, and silence is lead.

8. Command with your. Family is a private republic. Everything should be done together. Domestic crafts, washing dishes, shopping, cleaning, selection of entertainment, trip routes.

9. Keep the door open. Sooner or later you do not hold children, teenagers, youth in the house. Never early to learn freedom.

Email in the last time! This commandment invariably sees sadness. Sooner or later, parents will remain alone. We can do anything, any parent career suggests this sacrifice.

HEALTHY FAMILYIt has the following qualities:

1. This is a family in which good, honest, open communication.

2. The family has adopted the rules and a certain style of behavior, flexible in application.

3. Parents and children with pleasure and respectfully communicate with each other.

4. Parents and children help each other.

5. Everyone takes a caring and disinterested participation in creating family well-being.

6. Parents and children listen to each other and wish to help each other.

7. Family members not only listen, but they hear what another says, and take it close to heart.

8. Most problems are solved together.

9. The main focus is made on "We", and not on "I".

There is no doubt that this list can be significantly expanded. But the main thing is that families who possess these qualities are characterized by stability and will function as a healthy family system. In such families, children feel safe and grow in the atmosphere of general love.

Passive baby

1. The approach to such a child should be gradual.

2. Everyone to express his emotions and experiences in a more acceptable form.

3. To find out what circumstances caused such a state in a child.

4. Surrender the child to express their feelings in the game or confidence conversation.

5. Clear his trust and location.

6.Fom the child to acquire confidence. Only then will he be able to get out of the guardianship of that adult, to whom he trusts, and will learn to converge with new people.

7. To form cognitive learning motivation.

8. Develop a child with independence, responsibility for their actions.

9. Praise the child for any manifestation of activity and independence.

10. Develop communication skills.

11. It is desirable that the child visiting sport sections, mugs, etc.

12. Visit Museums, Exhibitions, Theaters with the child, thereby developing its informative activity.

In order to optimize your relationship with an exploring child, psychologists recommend:

1. Change the style of attitude toward a teenager, discard the former forms of communication, acceptable to the child, but unacceptable for a teenager.

2. Talk to the adolescent tone - as with that, with the opinion of which are considered.

3. Patiently treat flashes and calmly explain what the behavior is unworthy of an adult guy or a girl.

4. Very useful discussion, but it is desirable that you do not always keep the top in them were winners. Proving this or that position, admit the correctness of the son or daughter in some point, and at the same time show and its inconsistency in judgments.

5. The main method of influencing adolescents is the convictions of the type of evidence, as well as indirect suggestion.

6. In the missing and mistakes of the teenager, learn that the Council of Senior has admitted patience.

7. Promote the awareness, deepening interests, hobbies (socially acceptable).

8. Do not weaken interest in extracurricular school activities, class events.

9. Carefully and skillfully adjust the choice of friends. No matter how undomatic, reveal the son or daughter's eyes to the positive and negative qualities of his friends, talk about the consequences of bad influences. Raise the will and confidence in yourself - barriers against unwanted suggestions.

10. Evaluate not the person of a teenager, but his actions. Speak in the language of feelings (not "you - the villain", and "Your act upset me, I worry, I feel bitterness, indignation ...").

11. Try to ensure the unity of the requirements of all family members; Unity of the requirements in the family and school.

12. Try to exclude inconsistency of the requirements (when it is expected to have children's obedience, then adult autonomy.)

Remember! The style of interaction, folding in a teenager with parents, is reflected in relations with other people.

1. Be frank with children regarding the circumstances that led to the formation of a family in its current composition.

2. In the case of a divorce, death or parental care from the family, convince children that there are no guilt in this.

3. Recover with an understanding of the feelings of anger, anxiety or, possibly confused.

4. If possible, do not change the way of your family life.

5. Try to how much it is possible to divide the responsibilities. Do not attempt to compensate for children to the loss of the parent by making themselves a large number of duties.

6. Be frank when you discuss your attitude to your spouse, but at the same time show sensitivity to what and how you say not to insult the feelings of children, watering the dirt of another parent. Do not inspire your belief that your spouse will return home, unless you see such an opportunity, because it can instill false hope in children, and subsequently turn a heavy disappointment.

7. Do not use your children as a barrier figure or as a transaction object between you and your spouse.

8. Do not encourage gossip, do not demand from children to report everything that was told by the spouse at their meeting.

9. Calm children that they will love them and will take care of them just as before.

10. Do not let yourself say against the family of the spouse.

11. Children, even very small, should know everything that happened. It is not recommended a lie to salvation like: "Dad needs to go on a journey for several months."

12. If possible, let the children stay to live in the same place, with the same neighbors and attend the same school. This will reduce the number of radical changes that collapsed on children.

Rules and standards of behavior

"How to love your child"

Rule first

To be able to listen to your child always and everywhere, giving up this hearing entirely and completely, without interrupting the child at the same time, without scaring from him, as from an annoying flies, showing patience and tact.

Rule second

To be able to speak with your child, as if you wanted to speak with you, showing softness, respect, excluding editivity, rudeness and rudeness.

Rule third

Punish, not humiliating, but keeping the dignity of the child, instilling hope for correction.

Rule fourth

It is possible to achieve success in education only when parents are an example for positive imitation every day.

Rule fifth

Recognize your mistakes, ask for forgiveness for incorrect actions and deeds, to be fair in assessing yourself and others.

Psychological support is one of the most important factors that determine the success of your child in the surrender of a single state exam. How to support a graduate?

There are false ways, the so-called "support traps". So, typical of parents for parents supporting a child is a hyperopka, creating a teenager's dependence on adult, imposing unreal standards, stimulating rivalry with peers. Genuine support should be based on emphasizing the abilities, opportunities - the positive sides of the child.

Maintain a child - it means to believe in it. Support is based on faith in the inborn ability of the person to overcome the vital difficulties with the support of those whom it considers significant for themselves. Adults have a lot of opportunities to demonstrate to the child their satisfaction from its achievements or efforts. Another way - to teach a teenager to cope with various tasks by creating a setup from him: "You can do it."

To show the faith in the child, the parent must have courage and the desire to do the following:

Forget about past child failures;

Help the child to gain confidence that he will cope with this task;

Remember about past luck and return to them, and not to errors.

There are words that support children, for example: "knowing you, I'm sure you will do everything well," "You do it very well." You can maintain through individual words, touches, joint actions, physical complicity, facial expressions.

So, to support the child need:

1. Repeat on the strengths of the child;

2. Avoid underscounted by the misses of the child;

3. Show faith in a child, sympathize with him, confidence in his power;

4. Create houses at the situation of friendliness and respect, be able to and want to demonstrate love and respect for the child;

5. Be simultaneously hard and kind, but do not act as a judge;

6. Support your child. Demonstrate that you understand his experiences.

Eight "No!" for mom and dad:

Do not intimidate, do not threaten the child - the obedience gained in this way undermines the child's faith in itself and your love!

Do not resort to violence - violence is always reproduced.

Do not provoke, do not blackmail, do not get into your child - you give him a clear lesson to manipulate people and feelings.

Do not appreciate, do not compare the child with others - take the child as it is.

Do not hold back your feelings - try to act on the principle of "here and now": feelings expressed with late or advance, rarely turn out to be genuine.

Do not silence problems and conflicts - express yourself and certainly listen to children.

Do not bring victims - the child can not be good if you are bad.

Do not reject the child, no matter how hard he guessed.

FI child: _______________________________________

1. Use of intensifying and developing attention.
2. Development of iconic, short-term and long-term memory.
3. Speech development through thematic conversations, discussion of stories, fairy tales, poems, movies, cartoons.
4. Development of imagination through the compilation of small stories, fairy tales, noby.
5. The development of verbally - logical, visual - shaped, associative thinking.
6. Use of multiple repetition of educational material.
7. The use of frequent change of activity during training sessions.
8. The use of frequent relaxation pauses during training sessions.
9. When carrying out training sessions, use a large number of clarity.
10. Expand the ideas about the world, about objects and phenomena of living and inanimate nature.
11. Develop educational motives of educational activities.
12. Consider the individual period of work in the task (activity) of the child.
13. Do not offer more than one task to execute.
14. The task is large in terms of volume not entirely, but in the form of a sequence of individual parts, periodically controlling the execution of each part and introducing the necessary adjustments.
15. If possible, apply an iconic evaluation system.

Date:__________________________

Pedagogue - Psychologist: L.V.Giluk

FI child: _______________________________________

1.The following fiction In order to enrich the vocabulary and expansion of the horizon.

2. Mixed educational and gaming activity of socio-home.

3. Development small Motoriki Hands: laying from plasticine, clay, work in books - coloring, work with buttons, beads, cereals, execution of applications, folding puzzle.

4. Development of self-service skills.

Date:____________________

Pedagogue - Psychologist: L.V.Giluk

FI child: _______________________________________

1. The tension of artistic, journalistic, periodic literature in order to enrich the vocabulary and expansion of the horizon.

2. Mixed household classes, in order to develop socially oriented, attracting employment.

3. Communication in Russian, in order to develop communication skills in Russian, increasing the vocabulary, the development of the horizons.

4. The developing nature of the formative ideas about the main phenomena of nature, the social environment, the world around the world as a whole.

5. Development of self-service skills.

Date:_________________________

Pedagogue - Psychologist: L.V.Giluk

Creating a favorable family atmosphere Remember: from how you wake a child depends on his psychological attitude for the whole day. Time for night recreation Everyone is required purely individually. The indicator is that the child falls out and easily woke up when you wake it up. Learn to meet children. Specify neutral questions: "What was interesting? What did you do today?" Enjoy the success of the child. Do not worry at the time of his temporary failures. Patiently, listen with interest the story of a child about events in his life. The child should feel that he loves. It is necessary to exclude the sockets, coarse intonations from communication, create an atmosphere of joy, love and respect in the family. Education of hard work in children in the family More often encourage the child for independence, the initiative, the quality of the work performed. If not everything happens - do not worry, but patiently explain again. Attract the child to big family matters and teach the child the work started to bring to the end. Each family member, including the child, must have duties for family service. Do not punish the child with difficulty! Education of kindness in children Communication is the essence of a person's life. If we want to see our children with good, you need to deliver the child to communicate with us - this is the joy of joint knowledge, joint work, a joint game, a joint holiday. The kindness begins with love for people and to nature. We will develop a sense of love in children to everything alive. Teach children to hate evil and indifference. As much as possible love for the child, as much as possible requires it to it. Let's do good, good actions, children are good for us. Teach yourself! The main thing is the absolute adoption of the child with all its merits and disadvantages. This is the key to mutual understanding in the house. Try to understand what difficulties a child faces when moving from elementary school Basic. Do not deny the child to help in preparing homework if he asks. At the same time, do not do anything instead of a child, do together with him, teach it independence. Help the five-grader remember the names, patronymic and surname of subject teachers. Do not express negative about school, about teachers in the presence of a child, even if it seems to you that there is a reason for this. Try to figure out the problematic situation. It is better that the teacher is your ally. Provide your child compliance with the optimal day for this age and convenient workplace at home. Take care that your child has friends from class, invite them to your home. Create a child emotional comfort at home, learn how to communicate with adolescents. Rejoice to the achievements of your child. Do not let it be compared by other children, let's notify not the child himself, but its actions. When, from where and in what form your child came home, meet him with love. Read the literature dedicated to raising children. Being a parent is not a duty and not a profession. This is a natural human need. Pedagogian psychologist: L.V.Giluk

Child is a man! This little person needs not in the sink and punishment, but in support and wise council of parents, not in evil and cruel treatment, and in good, care and love. But, unfortunately, often the least of all love gets our most beloved people. The child can not yet and does not know how to protect itself from physical violence and mental pressure from the adult. But children learn from us behavior, manners of communication, scream, if we shout, rude, if we are grinding, cruelty, if we demonstrate it. A child who is brought up in the conditions of the cure, will never respect the rights of another person. And, on the contrary, kind, good behavior of our children is generated only by good. Surprisingly, non-violence is much more contributes to the harmonious growth and the comprehensive development of the child than the coarse and hard handling of the child. Our rapid aggressive actions in relation to the child can sometimes be caused by not even misdembleness, but our fatigue, troubles and failures, irritation, etc. Anger, poured in this case to a child, does not teach him anything, but only humiliates, insults and annoying. By seeking visible short-term obedience, parents through physical punishment "raise" false and deception, dulk the process of normal development of the child. Cruel treatment of children Very often causes them from not repentance, but completely different reactions: - fear; - indignation, protest; - offense, feeling offended, thirst for revenge and compensation; - the destruction of "moral brakes"; - the desire for deception, exemption; - loss of ability to sound reasoning; - the child ceases to see the border between good and evil, between "you can" and "it is impossible"; - aggressive behavior ; - Reduction self-esteem ; - Hate to yourself and others (if the child often beat). Cruel treatment of children usually also causes a delay in their mental and social development. It is important to prevent that beatings and punishment turn into a nightmare for a child and his parents when the child will cease to understand "for what", emotionally "swells" and will cease to distinguish, where they are good, and where bad actions. But it is even more important to remember that from any nightmare there is always a way out. And the first step must do one who is stronger and wiser. Well, if it is an adult. Yes, children do not always behave like clean and meek angels, and to educate them is very difficult. But of all difficult situations in which they sometimes put their parents, you need to look for a way out without humiliation of the human dignity of children, without the use of insults and even more bodily punishments. Parents about punishment Sleeping baby, you learn to fear you. Showing with children the worst features of their character, you show them a bad example. Body punishment requires less mind and abilities from parents than any other educational measures. Ships can only approve, but do not change the behavior of the child. Punishments force a child to fear lose parental love. He feels cucked and begins to jealous to his brother or sister, and sometimes to parents. The punished child may have a hostile feeling for parents. And barely in it, two feelings are united: love and hatred, - how the conflict immediately arises. If you spare a child under a hot hand, it means that you are worse than those who need to demand from the child. Frequent punishments encourage children to attract the attention of parents by any means. How to replace the punishment Patience. This is the biggest virtue that can only be among the parents. Explanation. Explain the child why his behavior is wrong, but be extremely brief. Lubility. Do not hurry to punish your son or daughter - wait until the offense repeats. Awards. They are more effective than punishment. Pedagogian psychologist: L.V.Giluk

If you learned about the conflict with the teacher: Do not scold a child, find out what is the matter. Never discuss teacher shortcomings with the child. Better explain how hard it works, pointing to this that the teacher is the same person, like everyone else, and can get tired and be irritated. Talk to the teacher without complaints, most likely, will be easier for you to find a way out. Do not run the situation. Do not expect when the flame of the conflict will attain the school administration. Allow the situation at the very beginning. Junior and middle-aged schoolchildren have not yet possess diplomatic abilities. Is it worth expecting that in a conflict situation they will be able to keep cool, find an adequate solution to the problem, not exacerbating it and not damaging their health? If you know that the child does not make up relations with the teacher, it is necessary to intervene. The task of Pope and Moms - to help the schoolboy to figure out the nuances of the problem and show the possibility of a constructive dialogue with the teacher. In addition, the active behavior of parents equalizes the strength of the conflicting parties. 1 Evaluation of the situation Do not allow the confrontation of the child and the teacher to drag on. Here are a few signs for which at an early stage one can determine that the child has a tense relationship with the teacher: -Scarlet neglects schools or some one subject: refuses to perform homework, spoil the tutorial, leads a notebook increasingly than usual; "A child draws a caricature teacher, dismissively or aggressively responds about him, annoyed when you ask questions about his lessons. 2 conversation with baby To understand the reasons for the conflict, to evaluate its sharpness and accept any measures, it is necessary to figure out the point of view of the opposing parties. Be prepared for the fact that these two versions can be very different from each other. The main goal of your conversation with the child is to give him the opportunity to express my negative emotions. Only after that, a son or daughter will be able to take help from you in a constructive solution to the problem. During the conversation, pay attention to several important points: "When a child tells about a relationship with a teacher, he can cry, increase the voice, use rough words and inspiring the nicknames of the teacher. Do not interrupt this fiery speech; "After a child comes out his experiences, ask him to stay on the nuances of the conflict. For example, invite the student to remember when the teacher first expressed his hostility to him, in what situations the teacher starts to raise the voice, etc.; - During the conversation, demonstrate your child sympathy, without expressing aggression to the teacher's address. Your task is to convince the schoolchildren that neither him nor the teacher has a desire to hurt the enemy. It's just difficult for them to understand each other. - At the end of the conversation, develop a joint action plan. Perfect if the proposals will come from the child. Suppose he can promise to refrain from those actions that annoy the teacher, more diligently prepare homework, etc. At the same time, the parent should not limit himself by the role of the listener. Try to convince the child in the need for your conversation with the teacher, promising at the same time to come to school after the lessons so that classmates did not know about anything. 3 Talking with teacher Chatting with the teacher, make sure that the conversation is based on the basis of concrete facts, and not his personal impressions. Feel free to clarify and ask how the teacher did such conclusions about the behavior of a schoolboy. Consider not only the features of the child's actions, but also the nuances of the atmosphere of the educational institution: the class relationship, the style of teaching the teacher. Do not focus before the teacher, do not exaggerate your child's guilt to reduce passions. Do not be afraid that the teacher "will spoil the life" to your son or daughter. You defend the right of a child, seeking it to feel comfortable in school. Look at the conflict from the height of your life experience. Is due to the fact that you once had a triple in writing, you can't get a job on good work Or do not have friends? Do not forget that the teacher is responsible for the occurrence, the course and result of the conflict - as a person who is professionally engaged in raising children. If the conversation with the teacher went into a dead end, ask right: what does he see a safe way out of the current situation? Preventive measures Good relations between parents and teachers can protect students from unnecessary retrain and overestimated requirements. This is not about "bribery" with the help of gifts, but about the participation of moms and dads in school life. Try to come regularly on parental meetings, Suggest teachers our help in copying educational materials, etc. Take care that the child had an interesting hobby. His sports or musical successes, on the one hand, will allow school to be at various competitions and competitions, and on the other hand, they will help less acute to experience conflicts with teachers and classmates.

Pedagogian psychologist: L.V.Giluk

Yanush Korchak 1. Do not wait for your child to be like you or the way you want. Help him become not by you, or by himself. 2. Do not require your child for all that you did for him. Did you give him life, how can he thank you? He will give life to another, the third, and this is an irreversible law of gratitude. 3. Do not releasing your resentment on the child so that there is no bitter bread in old age. For what we sleep, it will go. 4. Do not relate to its problems. Life is given to everyone by the forces and, be sure he is hard for him no less than you, and maybe more, because he has no experience. 5. Do not humiliate! 6. Do not forget that the most important meetings of a person are his meetings with children. Pay more attention to them - we can never know who we encounter in the child. 7. Do not flome yourself if you can't do something for your child. Much, if you can - but do not. Remember, the child is not enough if everything is done. 8. The child is not a tyrant that takes the whole of your life, not only the fruit of flesh and blood. This is the precious bowl that life gave you for storage and developing creative fire in it. This is a liberated love of mother and father, who will not have "our", "their" child, but a soul, given to storage. 9. Tell me to love someone else's child. Never do someone else's what I would not want to do yours.

Be careful with the punishment! It is desirable that the boy does not give up mom, but dad. Girl - on the contrary. This rule must be adhered to to form in children. good relations To the opposite floor. The boy can not hold for a long time emotional tensionHe is not adapted to this. Therefore, in case of presentation of claims to it, limit the notation. Explain the Son very short and specifically what you are unhappy. In the parenting of the boy, the participation of a man is very important. If there is no dad, its place should take significant men (grandfather, uncle, etc.) Boys (at the lesson and at home) can not gain the optimal level of performance as quickly as girls. This ability to parents must be taken into account and do not try to forcing educational activity, it will cause explicit or hidden aggression. Be patient! If the Father wants children to grow happy, he should never: humiliate the female dignity of the mother, remember her mistakes, emphasize her mental or physical disadvantages, emphasize its economic dependence. Pedagogian psychologist: L.V.Giluk

Memo for parents raising gifted children

Individual approach to the child. Need to know individual characteristics Each age stage. Include your child in informative-practical activities. Allow it to experiment, make various experiences. In the game with your child, use imaginary situations, items. In cooperation with your child, use as much visual funds as possible. Develop observation. Put in front of the child the tasks that contain some uncertainty and do not have a single solution. Create problematic situations available to your child. In your joint conversations, use as many words as possible, expanding their content with every day. Do not be afraid to enter all new and new words in your "conversation." Create for your child survey. Not specificity of objects plays a role in the development of the creative imagination of your child. Put your creative tasks before your child. Do it artistic activities. Do not limit your child in his fantasies, in choosing the theme, colors of paints, etc. Carry out work with your child systematically, and for you the door of the individual world of your child will be opened. Pedagogian psychologist: L.V.Giluk

Child with speech problems In no case do not associate the failures of the child with his speech defect. Objectively emphasize the advantages of your child. Encourage its communication with other children. Do not remind a child about mental injuries and unpleasant experiences. Pay attention to the alternation of periods of improvement and worsening speech. Analyze the situations and the situation in which it is improved, and promote the development of these situations. Child with violationself-esteem Do not protect your child from everyday affairs, do not seek to solve all the problems for it, but also do not overload it to what it is impossible. Let the child performs the tasks available to him and gets satisfaction from the made. Do not intercept the child, but do not forget to encourage him when he deserves it. Remember that praise the same way, as the punishment, should be commensurate with the act. Encourage in the child the initiative. Let it be the leader of all undertakings, but also show that others can be something better. Do not forget to encourage others in the presence of a child. Emphasize the advantages of the other and show that your child can reach it. Show your example adequacy of the relationship to successes and failures. Evaluate out loud your capabilities and the results of the case. Do not compare the child with other children. Compare it with yourself. It is useful to know that the level of self-esteem is not installed once and for all. It may vary, especially in transitional, crisis periods in the life of the child. Expand the circle of communication of your child, bring it into new places and familiarize with new people. Emphasize the advantages and usefulness of communication, tell the child that you have learned new and interesting, and what pleasure got, communicating with one or another person; Stwinditselves to become an example of an effective person communion for a child. 3. Take patience and prepare for long work, which should be held constantly entering your communication with the child. 1. Remember that the prohibition and increase of votes are the most inefficient ways to overcome aggressiveness. Only realizing the causes of aggressive behavior and removing them, you can hope that your child's aggressiveness will be removed. 2. Show the child a personal example of effective behavior. Do not allow me outbreaks of anger or unflattering statements about your friends or colleagues. 3. Let your child at every moment feel that you love and take it. Do not hesitate once againhis can or regret it. Let him sees what is needed and important to you. Conflict child 1. Hold the child's desire to provoke quarrels with others. It is necessary to pay attention to unfriendly views on each other or muttering themselves under the nose. 2. Do not strive to stop the quarrel, accusing another child in her occurrence and protecting your own. Try to objectively understand the reasons for its occurrence. 3. After the conflict, discusses the causes of its occurrence with the child, determine the wrong actions of your child, which led to the conflict. 4. Do not discuss with the child the problems of his behavior. 5. Do not always interfere in the quarrel of children. Sometimes it is better to watch the conflict, since the children themselves can find a common language.

1. When you were for festive table or just in a close company of friends, and you generously pour a glass of wine, remember that this is a cunning poison, from which hundreds of and thousands of cells of your brain will die in a few hours, that this is a drug, every use of which it strengthens the desire to taste it also time. 2. Prepare and memorize solid, polite failure from the offer to fill your glass. Know that the one who is annoyingly trying to add to you and once again ("Well, what are you not a man? A couple of vodka vodka will not hurt anyone!") - Not just badly raised, he is a man, he who wants to drink again. But shame to do it alone. You will help your refusal and keep himself. 3. Even a small dose of alcohol can very much if it is used on an empty stomach or in the heat, in a stuffy room, in a state of fatigue or after any suffering disease. Smoking after drinking significantly aggravates the effect of alcohol. 4. If the symptoms of alcohol action on the brain appeared at the festive table (excessive revival, talkativeness, loud laughter by minor occasion), he should immediately stop drinking. Since he himself because of intoxication, it can not always realize it, it should be stopped present. 5. Beer - by no means "useful and nutritious product", as many erroneously believes: half-liter beer acts the same way as 40-70 grams of vodka (depending on the type of beer). 6. Never treat children even if they have achieved youthful age, alcoholic beverages, including beer. Remember that their body is ten times more sensitive to alcohol than in adults, and addiction to it may appear after 2-3 times. 7. In women, alcoholism develops easier and faster than men. Let those women who delivered the "innocent" cocktails, sweet vintage wines, remember this. 8. Even one glass of champagne or wine, drunk shortly before conception, as a rule, leads to the birth of mentally defective children. And then for one mindlessly drunk glass and parents, and their children will have to pay all his life! The same result leads to the use of a woman alcohol during pregnancy.

Memo to the parent from the child

Do not indulge me, you spoil me with this. I know very well that it is not necessary to give me everything that I demand. I just feel you. Do not be afraid to be solid with me. I prefer this approach. This allows me to determine my place. Do not rely on the use of force in relationships with me. It will teach me to what to be considered only with force. Do not be inconsistent. It confuses me and makes it hard to try to leave in all cases the last word followed by Do not give promises you can't do, it can shake my faith in you. Do not do for me and for me what I am able to do for myself, otherwise I will go into the habit to use you as a servant. Do not correct me in the presence of outsiders. I will pay much more attention to your remark if you tell me everything calmly with an eye on the eye. Do not protect me from the consequences of your own errors. I study on my own experience. Do not try to get rid of me if I ask the frank questions. If you do not answer them, you will see that I will stop asking you questions in general and I will look for information on the side. And besides, remember that I love you, please answer me. Or you can use a little other tips Councils of children parents l. HE indulge us, as it spoils. We can not test forces. 2. Do not be afraid to be hard with us: it will help us. We love strong people. 3. Often we speak and do everything to retire you. Do not give in to provocations. 4. Do not be offended if we say rude: we did not want it. Just we also hurt. We would like you to know about it. 5. Do not do for us and for us what we are able to do ourselves. You do not want to see us in the servants. 6. Do not expose our honesty to too frequent checks and tests. It makes us lie. 7. Treat us like friends, then we will also become generous. We learn to imitate you. 8. Do not give promises that you can not execute. 9. Do not try to get rid of our questions, because we will find answers to them on the side and possibly wrong. 10. Never answer our stupid questions. This is a reason to make you constantly do. 11. Invoice, do not say that in youth you were better and sinlessly, otherwise we will not compare with you. 12. Do not worry about that we spend a little time together. The value has not how much time we spend, but how we spend it. 13. Our fears and fears let you do not bother you. Show us what courage. 14. We cannot successfully develop without your help, support, approval. 15. We are getting used to the praise, and there is no reptile. Decide for yourself what is better. 16. We love you. Answer us the same.

Information for parents

The rule is first. To be able to listen to your child always and everywhere, giving up this hearing entirely and completely, without interrupting the child at the same time, without hugging him from him, as from an annoying flies, showing patience and gas Rule second. To be able to listen to your child as you would like to speak with you, showing softness, respect, excluding editivity, rudeness and rudeness. Rule third. Punish, not humiliating, but keeping the dignity of the child, instilling hope for correction. Rule fourth. It is possible to achieve success in education only when parents are an example for positive imitation every day. Rule fifth. Recognize your mistakes, ask for forgiveness for incorrect actions and deeds, to be fair in assessing yourself and others. Code of laws that help to overcome the difficulties in the behavior of the child Law 1. It is late to make requirements and impose bannes in conscious age. It is necessary to teach patiently and gradually. Law 2. Bans and requirements must be flexible, there should be no many. Law 3. Requirements and prohibitions should not conflict with the most important needs of the child. Law 4. Bans and requirements presented by parents must be uniform Law 5. Bans and requirements must clarify the child. Law 6. Bans and requirements should be placed calm and benevolent tone.

1. Be honest. All children are very sensitive to lies, and it applies to gifted children to a greater extent. 2. Evaluate the level of child's development. 3. Avoid long explanations or conversations. 4. Try to catch changes in the child in time. They can be expressed in extraordinary issues or behavior and are a sign of gifting. 5. Respect individuality in the child. Do not seek to project your own interests and hobbies on it. 6. Develop the following qualities in their children: - confidence based on the own consciousness of self-relief; - an understanding of the advantages and disadvantages in yourself and in others; - intellectual curiosity and readiness for research risk; - respect for kindness, honesty, friendliness, empathy, patience, to mental courage; - habit of relying on their own strength and willingness to be responsible for their actions; - The ability to help find a common language and joy in communicating with people of all ages.

Believe in the uniqueness of your child, that your child is the only one inhis kind is not like any neighbor child and is not an accurate copy of you. Therefore, you should not require the child to implement the life program you specified and achieve your goals. Imagine him the right to live life yourself. Let the child be yourself, with its shortcomings, weaknesses and advantages. Take it as it is. Recommend to the strengths of the child.

∙ Feel free to demonstrate your love to him, let him understand what you will always love it and under any circumstances.

∙ Do not be afraid to float the baby, take it on your knees, see him ineyes, hug and kiss it when he wants it. As a promotion, more often use affection.

∙ We will try to love your love to be wrapped with an increasingness and hopelessness. Install a clear framework and prohibitions / preferably so that there are a little /. Strictly adhere to the established prohibitions and permissions.

∙ Do not rush to resort to punishments. Try to influence the child as requesses. In case of disobedience, parents need to make sure that the request corresponds to the age and capabilities of the child.

∙ If a child demonstrates openly disobedience, the parent may think about punishment. The punishment must comply with the offense, the child must clearly understand what is punished.

∙ Do not forget that the key to the heart of the child lies through the game. It is in the game that those skills and knowledge can pass, the concepts of life values, it is better to understand each other.

∙ We are more often talking to the child, explain to him the essence of the prohibitions and restrictions. Help your child verbally express your feelings and experiences, learn to understand your behavior and behavior of other people.

∙ The mental health of your children in your hands. Remote more often on your love and intuition.

∙ Dialogue with society the child is learning from us, adults. We are a measure, its scale, his criteria for assessing others, attitudes towards others and to themselves. He begins with the first step in the world of adults and peers since he looks around at us and judges this world according to the laws who followed him by us.

∙ It is very important to realize that the style of the attitude of adults to the child affects not only child behavior, but also on the mental health of children; So the insecurity of the child in a positive attitude towards himself an adult or, on the contrary, confidence in a negative assessment of it as a person provokes an depressed aggressiveness.

To us, adults, it is necessary to remember that under the influence of the experience of communicating with us, the child is not only formed evaluating themselves and others, but also a very important feature is born - to sympathize with other people, experience alien sorrows and joy as their own. In communicating with adults and peers, he first realizes that it is necessary to take into account not only its own, but also someone else's point of view. Pedagogical authoritarianism in informal communication with the children will generate their lack of independence, the inability to express and defend their opinion. Communicating with the child, it is very important to cut off the position that our word is true, because the communication process requires an understanding of the other andidentifying yourself with others.

How to help your child overcome anxiety
(recommendations for parents of alarming children)

∙ It is necessary to understand and take the alarm of the child - he has full right on it. Integet to his life, thoughts, feelings, fear. Teach him to talk about it, discuss situations together from school life together, look for the way out. Learn to make a useful conclusion from experienced unpleasant situations - experience is purchased, it is possible to avoid even big troubles, etc. The child must be sure that he can always contact you for help and advice. Even if children's problems do not seem serious to you, recognize his right to experience, be sure to sympathize ("Yes, it is unpleasant, a shame ..."). And only after expressing understanding and sympathy, help find the solution to see the positive parties.

∙ Help the child to overcome the alarm - create conditions in which it will be less scary. If the child is afraid to ask the road from passersby, buy something in the store, then do it with it. So You will show how you can solve the disturbing situation.

∙ If the child missed the child because of the disease many days, try making it a gradual return - for example, come together after lessons, find out homework, let him speak with classmates by phone; Limit the time staying at school - Do not leave the first time for extinguishing, avoid overloads.

∙ In difficult situations, do not seek to do everything for the child - offer to think and cope with the problem together, sometimes quite just your presence.

∙ If the child does not speak openly about difficulties, but he has symptoms of anxiety, play together, beat through the game with soldiers, dolls possible difficult situations, maybe a child will suggest the plot, developing events. Through the game, you can show possible solutions to a particular problem.

∙ Prepare a disturbing child to life change and important events - Decorate what will happen.

∙ Do not try to improve the efficiency of such a child, describing the upcoming difficulties in black paints. For example, emphasizing what serious test it is waiting for it.

∙ It is better to share your alarm with a child in the past time: "At first I was afraid of this ..., but then it happened that I managed ..."

∙ Try in any situation to seek the advantages ("no humus without good"): errors in the control is an important experience, you realized that you need to repeat what to pay attention to ...

∙ It is important to teach a child to set small specific goals and achieve them.

∙ Compare the results of the child only with its previous achievements / failures.

∙ Learn the child (and learn) relax (breathing exercises, thoughts of good, account, etc.) and adequately express negative emotions.

∙ You can help the child to overcome the feeling of anxiety with the help of hugs, kisses, strokes on the head, i.e. bodily contact.

∙ Optimistic parents - optimistic children, and optimism - protection against anxiety.

You noticed that the child is aggressive, often plays aggressive games. What to do?

• Exclude aggression from the child's surrounding world (punishment, peers, televisionils, rough phrases in conversation, etc.)
• Help the child learn to control their negative emotions and "splash" them adequately, without harm to those surrounding (and ourselves).
• Remember: taking an aggressive role in the game, the child protects against aggression in real life, compensates for the inability to communicate, masks shyness, embarrassment.
• Increase the child's self-esteem.
• Try to communicate more often to notice the alarming "calls" in time and understand what they are called.
• Do not punish the child for aggressive behavior! Aggression on your part provokes the fastening of aggressive behavior in a child. Try to distract it, and only when the child calms down, you need to start a conversation.
• Try to make your words not to disperse with the affairs!
  ("We need to take care of nature," says Mom, and later climbs the branches at the tree: "In order not to prevent on the road."
  "It's not good," says Dad, but after a quarrel of a child with a comrade teaches: "We had to give delivery")
• Help the child if he has problems communicating with peers (role-playing correction games, psychologist consultation, the development of communication skills).
• For aggression it is useless to punish, to prohibit it, too, will drive it into depths. It is necessary to look for the cause of its occurrence.

When communicating with the child, these rules will help you:

Rule 1. Listening to the child, let him understand and feel that you understand his condition, feelings associated with the event that he tells you about. To do this, listen to the child, and then in your own words, repeat what he told you. You will kill three hares at once:

The child will make sure you hear it;

The child will be able to hear himself as if from the side and it is better to realize his feelings;

The child will make sure that you understood it right.

Absorbed by the problem or something still a frustrated person usually loses the sensation of perspective. Listening carefully, we help the child to figure out the question, "digest" the problem.

Rule 2. Listening to the child, follow his facial expressions and gestures, analyze them. Sometimes children assure us that they are all right, but the trembling chin or brilliant eyes speak completely about the friend. When words and facial expansions do not coincide, always give preference to facial expressions, the expression of the face, pose, gestures, voice tone.

Rule 3. Support and encourage a child without words. Smile, hug, wink, run on the shoulder, nod your head, look into the eyes, take the hand.

Rule 4. Keep track of how you answer the child's questions. Your tone "says" is no less clear than your words. He should not be mocking. You may not have ready-made answers to all questions.

Rule 5. . Encouraging a child, support the conversation, demonstrate your interest in what he tells you. For example, ask: "What happened next?" Or "Tell me about it ..."

∙ Use the time spent with the child playing games that you know from childhood. It should be easily turned on, fit into the family style of interaction with a child, to be the natural and logical development of these relationships. For example, the handles can be developed, wielding buckwheat with a grandmother, the overall coordination is swimming, making a charge with dad, Lazay on trees in the country. And for the development of speech and the horizons, it is necessary to simply ... talking to the child (many and more subtle psychological problems are solved).

∙ The use of massage elements and even the simple trituration of the body also contribute to the removal of muscle tension. In this case, it is not necessary to resort to the help of medical professionals. You can apply the simplest elements of the massage or just hug a child.

How to help your child and overcome negative emotions?
How to teach a child to own yourself?

Many adults, not to mention children, can not describe what is going on in their soul than they are unhappy. But if a person knows how to evaluate his independent statewill be easier and surrounding and himself.

Try the following exercises to develop the ability to understand yourself.
(You can also do them with the child).

∙ Tell your child: "Listen to yourself. If your mood could be painted, what would it become? What kind of animal or plant seems to be your mood? And what color is joy, sadness, anxiety, fear? " You can drive the "Mood Diary". In it, the child every day (can and several times a day) will draw your mood. It can be face, landscapes, men, what he will like it.

∙ Draw the contour of the little man. Now let the child presented that the little man is rejoicing, let him raise the pencil to the place where, in his opinion, this feeling is in the body. Then also "feel" offense, anger, fear, happiness, anxiety, etc. For each emotion, the child must choose its color. You can sketch and one man, and different (for example, if happiness and joy, the child wants to arrange in one place).

∙ Discuss with the child ways to express anger. Let him (and you yourself) will try to answer the questions:
1. What can pour out you?
2. How do you behave when you are angry?
3. What do you feel in the state of anger?
4. What will you do to avoid troubles in these minutes?
5. Name words that people say when they are angry.
6. And if you hear offensive words for yourself, what do you feel what you do?
7. What words for you are the most offensive?
It is advisable to record the answers to then discuss with the child. For example, what words can be used, getting angry, and which is not worth it, because They are too sharp, unpleasant.

To learn how to cope with anger, there are special techniques and exercises.

1. Build along with the child "Rozers" in front of the mirror. Picture various emotions, pay attention to the facial expressions of an angry person.

2. Draw a banning sign "Stop" together and agree that as soon as the child feel that it begins to be very angry, it will immediately get this sign and says out loud or to himself "Stop!" You yourself can also try to use such a sign to curb your wrath. The use of this technique requires workout within a few days to secure the skill.

3. To teach a child to quietly communicate with people, play like this: Take some attractive subject in your hands (toy, book). The task of the child is to persuade you to give this subject. You give thing when you want. The game later can be complicated: the child asks only with the help of facial expressions, gestures, but without words. You can change places - you ask for a child. After the end of the game, discuss how easier to ask, what techniques and actions have influenced your decision to give the toy, discuss the feelings that players have experienced.

4. Teach a child (and ourselves) to express anger in an acceptable form.
Explain that it is necessary to pronounce all the negative situations with parents or friends. Teach the child with verbal forms of an expression of anger, irritation ("I am upset, it offended me").
Offer to use "wonder things" for splashing negative emotions:

- a cup (you can shout into it);

- a basin or bath with water (rubber toys can be flushed into them);

- sheets of paper (they can be mine, tear, to throw in the target on the wall);

- pencils (they can draw an unpleasant situation, and then shadow or minimize the drawing);

- Plasticine (from it you can make a figurine of the offender, and then minimize it or remake);

- Pillow (you can throw it, beat, kick). Highlight a separate pillow "for discharge", you can sew your eyes, mouth; Do not use for this purpose stuffed Toys And dolls, but the punching pear is suitable.

All these "miracle things" can be used and adults !!!

5. The "fast discharge means" if you see that the child is overwritten, "on the verge", then ask him to run quickly, jump or sing a song (very loud).

6. Game "Relief".
To exclude offensive words from everyday communication, call! I throw a ball or a ball or tangle to each other, call the universe words. It may be the names of fruits, colors, vegetables. For example: "You are-produce!", "And then you are a melon!" And so as long as the flow of words does not run out.
What helps such a game? If you get angry with a child, want to "teach" it, remember the funny "names", perhaps even name the child, he will not be offended, and you will get an emotional discharge. When, having a skill of such a game, the kid will call the offender "cucumber" (and not ...), you will surely feel satisfaction.

Learn to manage your child with your emotions

∙ You can strongly squeeze fists, strain the muscles of the hands, then gradually relax, "releasing" negative.

∙ You can imagine yourself with a lion! "He is beautiful, calm, confident in his abilities, the head is proudly raised, the shoulders are stripped. His name is like you (baby), he has your eyes, body. You are a lion! "

∙ Higher and strongly put pressure on the heels to the floor, the whole body, hands, legs are tense; The teeth are tightly connected. "You are a mighty tree, very strong, you have strong roots that go deep into the ground, no one is terrible for you. This is a pose of a confident man. "

∙ If the child begins to be angry, ask him to make some slow breaths, exhale or count to 5-10.

What should I remember the parents?

1. Avoid excessive requirements. Do not ask the child everything immediately. Your requirements must correspond to the level of development of its skills and cognitive abilities. Do not forget that such important and necessary qualities as adjacent, accuracy, the responsibility is not formed immediately. The child is still just learning to manage themselves and organize its activities. Do not frighten the child with difficulties and failures in school, so as not to raise in it unnecessary insecurity.

2. Give the child the right to an error. Everyone from time to time is mistaken, and the child here is no exception. It is important that he is not afraid of mistakes, but he could fix them. Otherwise, the child will make a conviction that he cannot.

3. Helping the child to perform the task, do not interfere in everything he does. Give him the opportunity to achieve the task yourself.

4. Teach the child to keep their things in order and school supplies.

5. Good baby manners - family relationship mirrors.

"Thank you", "Sorry", "Can I ...", appeal to the adult to "you", should enter the child's speech to school. Teach a child to be polite and calm in circulation and attitude towards people (and adults, and children).

6. Teach the child to independence in everyday life and self-service skills.

The more the child can do it yourself, the more adult and confident in his abilities he will feel. Teach the child to undress yourself and hang your clothes, fasten buttons and lightning, tie the laces, neatly eat, etc.

7. Do not miss the first learning difficulties. Pay attention to any difficulties, especially if the latter become systematic. All problems with studying, behavior and health are much easier to solve at the very beginning. Do not close your eyes to the problems, they still will not go anywhere!

8. Reading books, be sure to discuss and retell read with the child; Learn it to clearly express my thoughts. Then in school the child will not have problems with oral responses. When you ask him about anything, do not be content with the answer "yes" or "no", clarify why he thinks so, help bring your thought to the end. Teach consistently telling about the events that occurred and analyze them.

9. Be sure to follow the mode of the day and walk! The health of your child depends on this, which means that his ability is better and easier to absorb educational material! Health is a base for the whole development of the child, this is the number of its forces that it can spend not overwhelming, but, therefore, without a variety of consequences (non-vitality, irritability, physiciability, frequent colds, tear, rudeness, headaches, etc.). This is especially true of those children who have increased nervous excitability from birth, fast fatigue or any neurological complications. In this case, the correct and clear mode of the day becomes not only organizing, but also a prophylactic means against the further weakening of the nervous system.

10. Do not forget that the child will continue to play for a few more years (this is especially true of the 6-pilot). Nothing wrong with that. On the contrary, in the game the child is also learning. Better play with it and in the process to learn any concepts (for example: left - right).

11. Limit the time of finding your child for a TV and a computer up to 1 hour per day. Parents mistakenly believe that the pastime in front of the TV and the computer is a holiday or unloading after a strained day. Unlike adults, both of these classes act excitingly to the rapid nervous system of the child, in turn, provoking increased fatigue, motor activity, overexcitation, irritability, etc.

Bulova Raisa
Tips for psychologist parents of preschoolers

Tips for parents of preschool children

Time flies extremely fast, and soon your child will become a first-grader. Is he ready for school? What volume of knowledge by this time should be preschooler?What is more important: Knowledge or psychological readiness? Questions - sea! All children pressurers are different. Some go to kindergarten, learn letters there, numbers, attend classes from the speech therapist and psychologist. Others never happened in the garden, and the circle of communication is limited parents And their acquaintances. Third, not visiting kindergarten, manage to engage in various early development centers, circles and sections. Which of these categories would be your child, if no less than half a year remains before school, then everything is fixable!

Psychological aspect

Recommendations psychologists parents of preschool children Very often reduced to the fact that the main readiness criteria for school are the ability to focus on more than 30 minutes, as well as progress. If in children's garden Children are familiar with the rules of behavior during classes, then for children who preschool Institutions are not visited, to see the desk for more than 15-20 minutes - this is a heavy test. Even the most interesting topic is not able to keep attention. preschooler more than 10-15 minutes. The best decision - A visit to the short-term residence groups at school. Unfortunately, such groups are not in every school. If you do not have the opportunity to record a child in the Early Development Center, then arrange improvised lessons at home. Tell your child, for example, draw a drawing, but try to make it so that during drawing it is not distracted and sat in one place. Another council parents of preschool children: During at home, try to do so that the child performs what you instructed him, and not what he wants. That is, let him draw a tree as you said, not a typewriter or sun.

Do not forget that most mothers do not have special education, so many things needed to prepare for school can be missed.

Important skills:

These qualities for preschooler is no less importantthan knowledge of letters and numbers. The child should be able to serve himself: Hair, dress, contact advice to adults. In addition, at such age, children own information about the place of their residence, surname, names parents and place of their work, seasons, age.

Before school parents Must take care of the development of the child's memory. Such "Training" It is better to spend in the form of exciting games. Consider on the walk of birds, people, pay attention to the colors of cars, and at home, after walk, ask the child how many white cars, for example, he saw. Reading and memorizing poems is perfectly, and if the child knows them by heart a lot, ask to tell the poem on a specific topic (o mom, about friends and so on.).

In a memo for parents of preschool children Attention should be paid to the development of the child's logic. To do this, you can use a number of pictures or figures, where one or two elements will be superfluous. (vegetable among fruits or living things among items).

If you sum up helpful information for parents of preschool childrenlies in the following:

train your memory, child attention;

pay attention to the development of logic, motility, perception and perception;

use common educational exercises;

conduct classes in a game form.

And remember the main rule for parents of preschoolers areTo instill a child interest in getting new knowledge, to teach him not to be afraid of bad assessments and find a common language with classmates, because for you he has always been and will be the best and beloved!

Publications on the topic:

"What do you need to know parents about child stubbornness and capriciousness?" Tips parents Stubbornness and whims are especially characteristic of children. preschool age And deliver a lot of troubles, both parents and caregivers.

Useful advice to parents They say the parents do not choose, well, I would choose your own. I can't even imagine how I lived without two. Purpose: Formation.

Tips for parents "Baby and Points" Tips for parents "Baby and Points" to parents whose children wear glasses, have to deal with many problems. And one of them, which.

Tips of the speech therapist to parents "Speech exercises for preschoolers who contribute to successful mastering native language" In which speech games Parents can play with a child on the road from kindergarten, in the car, at home? After all, it is known that by the time of receipt.

Tips parents 1. Communicating with the child, do not undermine the authority of other people meaningful for him. (For example, it is impossible to talk to a child: "Many your teachers understand.

Tips for parents of autistic children The main guideline of the child's development with autism should be a variety of, emotionally rich communion with him of parents. Parents should.

Every parent dreams of raising a healthy, happy and harmonious developed child. On this path, he faces obstacles and questions that there is no answer. Or, on the contrary, too many answers and it is not clear which one is correct. It remains to rely on common sense And the opinion of experts. Chose from books useful advicebased on the achievements of science and practice that will be a good help for parents.

1. Allow children to play more often

Since 1955, the time has been reduced that children spend on the game, but at the same time they increase the level of anxiety, the depression, the feeling of helplessness and at the same time children's narcissism and the decrease in empathy are observed. Unpleasant statistics. But in the power of adults, each of us, give your child what is required by him for harmonious development. The game in this sense is needed like air.

Why is the reduction in time on the game entails an emotional and social disorder? The game is a natural way to teach children to solve their problems, control the desires, manage emotions, look at the problem from different points of view, discuss disagreement and communicate with each other on equal. There is no other way to master these skills. That is why it is so important that the child spent a lot of time playing.

2. Stimulate curiosity

Children have a congenital tendency to know the world, which must be supported. One way to do this is to show all possible, a wide variety of tasks solving options. Experiments confirm this idea: if in the process of the game the child immediately show one-sole function of the toy, it will come to the conclusion that she can no longer know. But when the toy was given to the child "on the spill", they guessed to use it in different ways, not in one way.

Conclusion is simple. Those who did not have been taught specifically, there was no reason to think that they were shown all the possible options, so they began to study it carefully and discovered new opportunities for use. And this applies not only to games. But also to life.

3. Allow the child to be friends with the elders

In the midst of the age groups, young children have the opportunity to do what it would be too difficult or dangerous to do independently or in the group of peers. They can also learn something, just watching the older guys and listening to their conversations. Senior emotionally support the younger and care about them better than peers.

In the 1930s, the Russian psychologist Lion Vygotsky brought the term "the zone of the nearest development". It means the activity that the child is not able to perform himself or with the peers, but can perform with the participation of more experienced people. Vygotsky assumed that children receive new skills and develop thinking, interacting with others in the zone of their nearest development.

That is why the opportunity to communicate with older children is important for the physical, social, emotional and mental development of the child.

4. Live themselves according to "Rule 4:30 am"

The Ultramarahfonets Travis Macey talks about "Rule 4:30 in the morning", which his father always adhered to, and he himself. It began, as it is easy to guess, from an early lift. But the meaning is not in this. At least, not the whole point. Travis's father, Mark, was the father of two children, worked a lot over his career career, was fond of running and riding a bike and began to participate in races, which soon led him to the competitions for supermaraphon distances.

And now, when he is in sixty, dad lives in the same mode, only now he wakes up at four in the morning (and even earlier). He participates in all important moments of his grandchildren and still never misses my competitions. Incredible. Amazing.

Travis Macey grew out beautiful family man, loving father and an athlete with an incredible power of the Spirit -

Training and competitions were contrary to his main tasks as a family man and a professional. But as a person seeking to live a full life and seek success in everything, he firmly decided to make it so that all this somehow earned together. And invented. Dad knew that the best time to work was early morning. While other people slept or slowly swinging before the start of the working day, Dad has already worked. Waking up every morning no later than 4:30, dad managed to go to the office to work, then arrange a dining jog, go back for a few hours to work, on the way home stay at the bike painter and ride on a mountain bike and return home early enough to spend time with us And visit all our extracurricular events.

What is the point of this rule? As parents, you must be firm in our decisions.

Briefly - if you make a decision in advance, when it comes to act, no longer be distracted about the thoughts about whether you want to do it or not. Do not perceive this rule literally; The rise at 4:30 am is just an example of which solid will need to have to achieve success.

A firm internal commitment - in relation to the education of a child, family, relationships (or training programs and a project at work) is the most important thing that can be done in life. From this all starts. And you are serving a decent example.

5. Support the child

Psychologists brought the formula: 10,000 hours of practice are equal to expenses in any business. In research, the objects of which composers became composers, basketball players, writers, skating, pianists, chess players, mothers criminals, and so on, this number is found with amazing regularity. Mozart began writing music in 6 years, and the first of his great works appeared only by 21. Or an example: to become a grandmaster, also takes about ten years. (Only the legendary Bobby Fisher came to this honorable rank faster: he left nine years old. But not three years old and not a year!) 10,000 hours are equivalent to 3 hours of practice per day, or 30 o'clock a week for ten years.

If you notice a talent from your child, let him open it. Without parent support, it is impossible to work 10,000 hours. Remember: 10,000 hours is very, very much. Children and young people are not able to accommodate such a number of hours alone. Need support and help parents. This style of upbringing is called " joint development" His task is to actively "stimulate and evaluate the talents, skills and encourages the child."

If you want to grow a genius (or at least an unfortunate person), give the child the opportunity to do what he loves, without restrictions.

6. Teach children to distinguish good from bad

If a bad act is rewarded, the young brain can determine it as useful in terms of an individual survival. If the child, showing aggression, receives support, and manifests the desire to interact, such support does not receive, its brain can easily remember that aggression is good for his survival.

If the baby receives a remuneration, being sick, and loses it, recovered, it forms appropriate long-term connections.

The brain is not learning from experts on child upbringing And not on the textbooks of etiquette. He learns on the basis of a change in the content of certain neurochemical substances in it. Each time you and your children have been rewarded or, on the contrary, they felt a threat, they added new chains in the neural infrastructure, which suggests where to look for respect, recognition and confidence in the future.

7. Let your children feel happy more

Happy moments in the past create special connections between neurons who are ready to produce "Hormones of happiness" the next time you experience such positive sensations. In other words, the more often your child will feel happiness and joy, the easier it will give him in adulthood.

For example, a child who enjoys great respect for his parents, because it knows how to handle computers, neural connections are formed that allow him to expect more joy When providing such assistance to other people. He repeats his actions, and new neural paths of happiness appear in his nervous system.

Each positive moment strengthens the neural paths, and our brain is designed so that "drawn" to the ways that are the strongest and used most often. Man accumulates experience since childhood, and then turns his life to him.

8. Hug children more often

Touch and hugs are not someone's whim. There is a clear physiological basis that makes adults and children happy when they show attachment to each other. Oxytocin - "hormone of happiness", which is distinguished by mammals.

The birth of children also causes a significant tide of oxytocin. Moreover, both parents and children. Education of other people's children also contributes to an increase in oxytocin levels.

Oxytocin gives us pleasure to be calm next to those we trust. This is not a conscious decision, but rather a physical sense of security. Neural pathways forming with oxytocin participation arise throughout our life. And it is very important to form them in childhood, so that the child more often felt joy from life.

9. Leave the idea that you define the future of your child.

If we ourselves are freedom and are responsible for their actions, we must respect the right of the child to make their own way. Our aspirations cannot become a child's aspirations, as well as the opposite. Searches for your own course begin with early childhood.

To learn to respond for yourself, children must learn to make decisions every hour, day or year, and they can learn only in practice.

All loving I. thoughtful parents They bake about the future of their children, so they are hard not to try to control them. But any attempt committed under control will not lead to the goal. When we try to define the fate of the child, we do not give him to dispose of his life and learn from your own mistakes.