Features of education in dysfunctional families. Types of upbringing in a "problem" family The main types of improper family upbringing
“A child in a family. The impact of violations of family relations on mental development child "
1. TYPES OF FAMILY EDUCATION.
Questions of influence on the interaction of an adult with a child, on the formation of the latter's personality are widely discussed in the domestic literature. By now, the conviction has been formed that the type of parent-child relationship in the family is one of the main factors that shape the character of the child and the characteristics of his behavior. The most characteristic and obvious type of parent-child relationship is manifested in the upbringing of a child.
In particular, a number of authors emphasize that violation of the system family education, the disharmony of the relationship "mother-child" is the main pathogenetic factor that determines the emergence of neuroses in children. So, for example, A.E. Lichko and E.G. Eidemiller identified six types of family education for children with accentuated character traits and psychopathies.
Gunonrotection (hyunoneca) characterized by the lack of necessary care for the child (“hands do not reach the child”). With this type of relationship, the child is practically left to himself, feeling abandoned.
D supportive gunernrotection involves surrounding the child with unnecessary, obsessive care that completely blocks his independence and initiative. Hyperprotection can manifest itself in the form of a parent's dominance over a child, which manifests itself in ignoring his real needs and strict control over the child's behavior. (For example, the mother will accompany the teenager to school, despite his protests.) This type of relationship is called dominant hyperprotection. One of the options for hyperprotection is conniving gunernrotection , which manifests itself in the desire of parents to satisfy all the needs and whims of the child, defining him the role of the idol of the family.
Emotional rejection manifests itself in the rejection of the child in all its manifestations. Rejection can manifest itself explicitly (for example, a child often hears phrases from parents, such as: “You’re tired of me, go away, don’t meddle with me”) and a latent form of mockery, irony, ridicule.
Abusive relationships can manifest themselves explicitly: in the form of beatings - or covertly: in the form of emotional hostility and coldness. Increased moral responsibility is found in the demand from the child to display high moral qualities with the hope for his special future. Parents who adhere to this type of upbringing entrust the child with the care and guardianship of other family members.
Inappropriate parenting can be seen as a contributing factor to a child's potential character disorders. Under accentuation character traditionally, the excessive expression of individual character traits and their combinations is understood, representing the extreme variants of the norm. Accentuated characters are characterized by increased vulnerability to individual psycho-traumatic influences.
Specialists in the field family psychology Over the past decade, various types of child-adult relationships have been identified. For example, in the work of A.Ya. Varga describes three types of parental relationships that are unfavorable for a child: symbiotic, authoritarian, emotionally rejecting. The emotionally rejecting type (in contrast to the descriptions of E. Eidemiller and A. Lichko) is characterized by the researcher as the parent's tendency to ascribe pain, weakness, and personal inconsistency to the child. This type is called by the author "upbringing with an attitude towards the child as a little loser."
In the study by E.T. Sokolova, the main styles of parent-child relations were identified on the basis of an analysis of the interaction between mother and child in the joint solution of problems:
cooperation;
pseudo-collaboration;
insulation;
rivalry.
Pseudo-collaboration can be carried out in different options, such as adult dominance, child dominance. Pseudo-cooperation is characterized by formal interaction, accompanied by outright flattery. Pseudo-joint decisions are achieved through the hasty consent of one of the partners, fearing the possible aggression of the other.
At isolation cooperation and unification of efforts are completely absent, each other's initiatives are rejected and ignored, the participants in the interaction do not hear and do not feel each other.
For style rivalries characterized by competition in defending their own initiative and suppressing the partner's initiative.
The author emphasizes that only with cooperation, when both the proposals of the adult and the child himself are taken in the development of a joint decision, there is no ignoring of the partner. Therefore, this type of interaction encourages the child to be creative, forms a readiness for mutual acceptance, and gives a feeling of psychological safety.
According to V.I. Garbuzov, there are three pathogenic types of upbringing.
Type A. Rejection (emotional rejection). The essence of this type is excessive exactingness, strict regulation and control. The child is not accepted as he is, they begin to remake him. This is done with the help of either very strict control, or uncontrollability, complete connivance. Rejection forms a neurotic conflict in the child. The parents themselves have neurasthenia. It is dictated: "Become what I have not become." Fathers very often condemn others. The mother has a very high tension, she strives to occupy a high position in society. Such parents do not like a “child” in a child, he annoys them with his “childishness”.
Type B. Hypersocializing education... It arises on the basis of alarming suspiciousness about the health, social status of the child and other family members. As a result, fears, phobias of a social plan may form, and obsessions... A conflict arises between the desired and the due. Parents ascribe to the child what he should want. As a result, he has a fear of his parents. Parents seek to suppress the manifestation of the natural foundations of temperament. With this type of upbringing, choleric children become pedantic, sanguine children and phlegmatic children become anxious, and melancholic children become sensitive.
Type B. Egocentric education. It is observed in families where the child is in the position of an idol. The child is forced to believe that he has self-sufficient value for others. As a result, the child has many claims to the family and to the world in general. Such upbringing can provoke a hysterical type of personality accentuation.
English psychotherapist D. Bowlby, investigating the characteristics of children who grew up without parental care, identified the following types of pathogenic education.
One, both parents do not satisfy the child's need for love or completely reject him.
The child is a means for resolving marital conflicts.
The threat to “stop loving” the child and the threat to “leave” the family are used as disciplinary measures.
The child is indoctrinated with the idea that it is he who will be the cause (or is already) of possible illness, divorce or death of family members.
There is no person in the environment of the child who can understand his feelings, who can replace the absent or “bad” parent.
2. PARENTAL DIRECTIVES.
In addition to the type of parental attitude and the type of upbringing, the formation of the child's personality in the family is largely determined by parental directives. They can be the source of many of the child's emotional problems, both present and future. The directive as an indirect parental teaching (programming) was first described by American transactional analysts Robert and Mary Goulding.
Under directive understand a hidden, indirect order, not explicitly formulated in words or indicated by the actions of the parent, for failure to comply with which the child will not be explicitly punished, but will be punished indirectly (by a sense of guilt towards the parents). At the same time, the child cannot understand the true reasons for his guilt, they are hidden. It is only by following the directives that the child feels “good”. The directive is a kind of "hidden message" of the parent to the child, a lesson. The parents themselves may not be fully aware of the deep content that is contained in their directive. A number of directives can be identified that negatively affect the formation of the child's personality. The following types of parental directives and their content are disclosed and interpreted by Russian psychologists V. Loseva and A. Lunkov. The title of the directive reflects the hidden deep meaning of the message to the child.
“Don't live”. In everyday speech, this message can be conveyed by frequent lamentations and sayings of the following type: “My eyes would not look at you”, “So that you fall through the earth”. An extended version of the directive is manifested in the parents' “educational” conversations on the following topics: “How many troubles and difficulties the child brought with his birth”, “How difficult and terrible the birth was”, “Memories of the desire to terminate the pregnancy”. Since there is a hidden meaning in each directive, the meaning of this directive is the desire to control the child through arousing in him a constant sense of guilt. A child may unconsciously decide that he is the source of all possible troubles in the life of his parents, that he is their eternal debtor. Over the years, this irrational feeling grows. The negative influence of this directive is that neurotic guilt is destructive. The family, as it were, shifts the responsibility for all life's problems onto the child. As a result, the child has serious emotional problems. He can carry out this directive in the following way - to demonstrate hooligan, provocative behavior outside the home.
“Don't be a child. " In everyday speech, this can manifest itself, for example, as follows: “You are already three years old, and you behave like a little one,” “You would rather grow up,” etc. Parents often use statements that devalue any manifestations of childishness, emphasizing the desirability of an adult child behavior. Children who accept this directive will experience difficulties in communicating with their own children in the future, since they are not capable of uninhibited, playful behavior. The hidden meaning of such a directive is associated with the unformed willingness of parents to take responsibility for raising a child. This is typical for infantile parents.
“Don't grow. " This directive is often directed to the youngest or only children in a family. In everyday language, it manifests itself in the following statements: "Do not rush to grow up", "You are still too young to paint." The beauty of early childhood is emphasized. Such a directive is given by parents who are terrified of the sexual maturity of their children (this may also be the fear of an “empty nest”, which the family inevitably turns into when adult children leave). The implication of this directive is: "Only if you stay small can you get my support." In adulthood, these children find it difficult to create their own family, and if they do, they live with their parents. Such a directive, unconditionally accepted by a child, can also influence the formation of his physical appearance. The child begins to lag behind in growth from peers, demonstrating behavior that does not correspond to his age.
“Do not think". In everyday life, this directive is manifested in the following phrases addressed to the child: “Never mind,” “Don't be clever,” “Don't reason, but do." This directive contains a ban on reasoning and intellectual activity. Children who follow such a directive, in adulthood, either begin to feel “empty in their heads” when solving problems, or they have a headache, or there is a desire to “blur” these problems with the help of entertainment, alcohol and drugs. The hidden meaning of such a directive is that parents themselves are afraid to solve any specific problems and pass on their fear to their children.
“Don't feel it. " This directive implies a ban on the expression of emotions in general, or a ban on any specific feelings (for example, aggression, fear). Trapped emotions do not disappear, but are projected onto the objects that are available. Adults who received such a directive in childhood have difficulty in expressing feelings towards a sexual partner in family life... The child, as it were, is taught not to trust his feelings, the signals of the body. In adulthood, such people often suffer from psychosomatic illnesses (for example, obesity, as they lose contact with the feeling of fullness).
“Don't be successful. " Such a directive is conveyed in the course of educational stories like: “We ourselves did not graduate from universities”, “You will not succeed”. Parents ridicule the child's plans and ideas. As a result, his self-esteem decreases (“I won't succeed”). The hidden meaning of the directive is associated with the presence of unconscious envy of the parents for the success of their children. In adulthood, these children can become hardworking and diligent people, but they seem to be pursued by an evil fate. “Honestly” carrying out the received directive, such a person, being afraid of success, unconsciously “finds” numerous ways to harm the case, is late for an important meeting, accidentally spills ink on the drawings, ends up in the hospital, etc.
“Notbe a leader. " Received such a directive, the child often hears such words: "do not stick out", "do not stand out", "be like everyone else." Parents are concerned about other people's envy of their child. Based on such motives, they protect children. As adults, these children always walk in subjection, abandon their careers, not striving to dominate the family.
“Don't belong to anyone but me. " This directive is passed on by parents who have communication problems. They see the child as their only friend. Parents in every possible way emphasize the exclusiveness of their relationship, the dissimilarity of their family from other families. With age, the self-esteem of such a child may be adequate, but he in any group will feel like a loner, experiencing great difficulty in situations that involve merging with the group.
“Don't be close. " The hidden meaning of this directive, transmitted by the mother to the child, is the following message: "Any intimacy is dangerous if it is not intimacy with me." Unlike the previous directive, it concerns the prohibition of contact with a loved one, and not with a group.
“Don't do "... An adult conveys a message to a child, the meaning of which is as follows: “Do not do anything yourself, it’s dangerous. I will do everything for you ”. With such a directive, the child's activity and initiative are almost completely blocked. As an adult, a person begins to experience excruciating difficulties at the beginning of every business.
“Don't be yourself. " Such a directive could, for example, be based on parents not accepting the gender of the child. In the statements addressed to the child and the ways of communicating with him, the importance of features that are not characteristic of this sex is emphasized. As sex-related traits are denied, the child begins to behave in accordance with the expectations. As a result, he may have problems with the formation of gender identity, as well as difficulties in contacts with the opposite sex.
“Notfeel good. " This directive conveys the ban on good health. The mother can say to others in the presence of the child: “Though he is weak, he did ...”. The child accustom himself to the idea that illness attracts attention to himself, poor health increases the value of the action itself, that is, illness adds respect and arouses more approval. In this way, the child receives permission in the future to benefit from his illness. Therefore, in the future, this child either goes into illness in order to receive attention from others, or feigns illness in order to manipulate other people. Remaining healthy, such a person will suffer from hypochondria.
Most likely, at one time these directives had a positive purpose, being a concentrated experience of the survival of several generations of a family in real historical conditions. The historical situation has changed, but the directives are still passed on to the next generation as a kind of inert knowledge.
3. ROLE OF THE CHILD IN THE FAMILY.
One of the main issues when considering parent-child relationships in the family is the concept of “role”. The role of the child in the system of family relations can be different. Its content is determined mainly by the need of the parents, which the child satisfies, namely:
the child can be compensation for an unsatisfactory marital relationship. In this case, the child acts as a means by which one of the parents can strengthen his position in the family. If this need for compensation and strengthening of the position is satisfied, then the child takes the place of an idol;
a child can be a sign of the social status of a family, symbolizing its social well-being. (“Everything is like our people.”) In this case, the child plays the role of an object for social presentation; a child can be an element that binds the family together, preventing it from collapsing. (“We do not divorce just for you”), in this case, a great psychological burden falls on the child, causing emotional stress... He begins to believe that it is his behavior that is the reason for the divorce of his parents, if such an event really happens.
“Idol"(“Mom’s treasure”, “daddy’s treasure”). formed character traits: · egocentrism, infantilism, dependence, superiority complex. In the future, such a child may exhibit aggressive behavior as a result of the fact that he does not understand why the world does not accept him the way its own family.
“Scapegoat". The child is used by family members to respond to negative emotions. Such a child initially develops an inferiority complex, combined with a feeling of hatred for the world, and the personality of a tyrant and aggressor is formed.
“Delegate". Through this child, the family contacts the outside world, presenting itself to society as a successful social group. From such a child, parents often expect the fulfillment of their unfulfilled hopes. This role contributes to the formation of character traits of the classic psychasthenic (excessive responsibility, constant anxiety for possible mistakes, etc.).
4. MOTHER'S DEPRIVATION.
Has a devastating effect on the mental development of a child deprivation... Deprivation occurs when parents (mainly the mother) do not provide adequate care and ignore basic needs the child is either abandoned and left in the care of others. Traditionally, the following types of deprivation are distinguished: sensory, motor, emotional. Under sensory deprivation the limitation of stimuli affecting sensory systems (tactile, visual, auditory, etc.) is understood. Since the child learns the world through the senses, a deficiency of sensory stimuli leads to irreversible mental underdevelopment, since during the receipt of various information from the outside world into the brain, the brain structures are exercised. Sensory deprivation can lead to delay and impairment of the child's mental development. Motor deprivation occurs with a sharp restriction of the child's movements (due to illness, injury, poor care, etc.). Due to prolonged motor deprivation, the child develops depressive state with a fit of rage and aggression. Emotional deprivation is understood as a long-term absence of emotional contact with the “cold mother” mother or a person who replaces her. This leads to blocking the need for emotional closeness (love).
In the case of complete deprivation of the child, contact with the mother is observed phenomenon maternal deprivation... Maternal deprivation has the most devastating effect on a child's mental development. The characterological characteristics and behavior of orphans brought up in orphanages and boarding schools are a vivid illustration of a “child with deprivation”. Numerous studies have established that the existence of children in conditions of massive maternal deprivation (when children grow up completely separated from their mother) leads to the emergence of psychopathies, depression and phobias. Children deprived of parental care show a noticeable lagging behind social and age standards throughout their lives. They are characterized by the following:
emotional superficiality;
low ability to fantasize;
"Stickiness";
high aggressiveness;
cruelty;
infantile irresponsibility, etc.
5. PSYCHOLOGICAL MECHANISMS OF FORMATION OF A NEUROTIC CHILD.
The existence of a child in the space of a problematic, dysfunctional family with a fairly high degree of probability predetermines his transformation into a neurotic personality, depriving him of the opportunity to become a mature and self-actualizing personality. Self-actualizing personality is a person who is capable of self-realization. Self-actualization criteria highlighted by well-known psychologists of the existential-humanistic direction:
A. Maslow. E. From, K. Rogers. These criteria make it possible to single out the basic characteristics of a mature personality.
The ability to fully experience emotions. The self-actualizing person lives and expresses those feelings without adolescent shyness.
The ability to make a responsible choice between moving forward and retreating. Such a person has no fear of failure, he is not afraid to go through a negative experience.
Developed responsibility to your conscience.
Basic features of a neurotic personality highlighted by the famous psychoanalyst K. Horney.
Sensitivity... Sensitivity manifests itself in increased sensitivity to signals from the outside world.
Anxiety... The neurotic tends to perceive the world as threatening. He has many fears (fear of evaluation, crowd, public speaking, etc.).
Hypersociality... The neurotic constantly settles scores with society, seeks to increase his importance. The neurotic is characterized by an excessive sense of responsibility and a sense of duty, a lack of flexibility in social relations. For example, “hypersocial” women have the most “difficult” children, as they devote all their time to their own careers and social life. A neurotic builds a relationship with the world in the same way he builds a relationship with his own father.
K. Horney identified and described the main characteristic neurotic needs as follows.
Need for love and approval... A distinctive feature of this need in a neurotic is a kind of "omnivorousness" in relation to the object of love. The neurotic is characterized by the desire to be loved by everyone and everyone.
Need for support... Characterized by the desire to have a strong and caring partner who can get rid of the fear of “being abandoned” and the fear of loneliness. The neurotic is never sure that he is really loved, and always strives to "earn" love. It is this feature of it that causes an increased dependence on the object of love and a preventive flight to independence.
The need to dominate, dominate, leadership can apply to all spheres of life, regardless of whether the person has sufficient competence to achieve primacy. Therefore, the neurotic's desire to rule is accompanied by a refusal to take responsibility for the burden of power.
The need for public admiration, recognition... Signs of recognition and social admiration become for the neurotic the yardsticks of the self-worth of the individual.
K. Horney emphasizes that neurotic needs are unsaturated, that is, they have no limits of satisfaction. No matter how much such a person receives love and support, this will not be enough for him. Giving a generalized description of the neurotic personality, the author notes that neurotics have a noticeable contradiction between their desires to receive love from others and their own abilities to nourish this feeling. True, a neurotic can be overly caring, but in this case he will act under the influence of obsessive urges, instead of radiating warmth.
A child is born with tremendous adaptability. If upbringing proceeds without taking into account natural components, then this circumstance can create conditions for the formation of a neurotic personality. S. Chess and A. Thomas conducted the famous New York longitudinal study in the 1950s. They observed 133 children while eating, playing, dressing; interviewed parents and teachers. As a result, S. Chess and A. Thomas revealed certain differences in the reactions of children to the world calling these differences temperament.
In your research, Know Your Child (an authoritative guide to modern parents) they summarized the results obtained, emphasizing that in order to effectively raise a child in a family, it is necessary to take into account his energy level and the speed of adaptation to new situations.
They identified the following genotypically determined characteristics of temperament.
1... The degree of motor activity... A child can be born active, then such a child needs to be allowed to move a lot. In the event that the child was born passive, then the imposed requirement to increase locomotor activity should be considered as a neurotic factor.
2. Rhythm. (Rate of discharge.) This characteristic determines the pace of alternation of the child's needs (assimilative and dissimilative). There are rhythmic children in whom the rhythm of vital activity is clearly defined, and dysrhythmic children who do not have a clearly expressed rhythm of need states.
3... Approximation - removal. This characteristic determines the way the child reacts to a new situation and his attitude to new objects.
4. Intensity. Intensity refers to the amount of energy a child uses to express emotions.
5. Adaptation speedTonew situation. This characteristic determines the following: the child adapts quickly or slowly to a new, unfamiliar environment for him.
6... Sensitivity threshold... The threshold is determined by the magnitude of the stimulus that elicits the child's emotional response.
7. The quality of the mood. The quality of the mood is characterized by the general emotional mood of the child, in which he is most often - "major" or "minor".
8. AbilityToconcentration... This characteristic determines the peculiarities of the child's attention, the degree of his "distraction"
9. Time interval in which activity is maintained... This characteristic determines how long a child can be in a state of activity.
In the case when parents ignore the above characteristics of the child's temperament, imposing on him an alien rhythm and intensity of contacts with the environment while meeting needs, they create conditions for the formation of a neurotic personality. The greatest difficulties in upbringing are usually associated with the following types of children.
“Titmouse”- children with high emotional sensitivity.
“Snails”- children who do not appear immediately, they are closed, the motives of their behavior in a new situation are often not clear, they“ do not let into the soul ”, do not clearly indicate their needs.
“Turtles”- children who adapt to new situations for a long time are slow.
“Whiners"- children who are characterized by a" minor ", whiny background of mood. It is these children who receive the least parental love.
Summarizing what has been said, we can conclude that parent-child relationships include a rather complex content and can be analyzed by a number of parameters. A.N. Zakharov identifies five parameters that determine the content of the educational process.
1. The intensity of emotional contact in relation toTochildren. Depending on the intensity of emotional contact, there are such types of relationships as overprotection, hypoatherence, custody, acceptance, rejection.
2. Control parameter... The following types of control are distinguished: permissive control, admitting, situational, restrictive.
3... Consistency - inconsistency in making demands.
4. The degree of emotional stability of a parent in experiencing affectively colored situations together with a child.
5. The degree of anxiety of a parent in interaction with a child.
The combination of these parameters can determine different types neuroses. For example, a restrictive, affective instability can cause anxiety neurosis in a child; over-acceptance, permissiveness and inconsistency cause hysterical neurosis; pronounced loneliness - obsessive-compulsive disorder.
The most characteristic features of the pathogenic education system according to A. Zakharov:
low cohesion and disagreement among family members in education;
a high degree of inconsistency, inconsistency and inadequacy;
a pronounced degree of guardianship, restriction in any spheres of life;
increased stimulation of the capabilities of children and, in connection with this, the frequent use of threats and judgments.
The underdevelopment of emotional relationships with the immediate family environment lies at the heart of the psychopathic version of the child's personality anomaly. Violation of these relationships can be considered as a mechanism for the development of an anomaly of the neurotic variant. Both types of anomalies, despite a number of phenomenological differences, can cause distortion of self-esteem and disturbances in interpersonal relationships.
Improper upbringing contributes to the emergence of pathocharacterological reactions and neuroses, the formation of psychopathic development. It also aggravates constitutional and organic psychopathies and can play the role of a provoking and precipitating factor for endogenous mental illness. Some types of wrong upbringing, as they appear before a psychiatrist, were described by N.I. Ozeretsky, G.E. Sukhareva, O.V. Kerbikov.
Lichko A.E., the importance of the following types of improper upbringing of adolescents (with accentuations of character) in the family was emphasized.
Hypoprotection. In an extreme form, it is manifested by neglect, often a lack of guardianship and control, and most importantly, a true interest in the affairs, worries and hobbies of a teenager. Only sometimes does hypoprotection extend to such an extent that a teenager is completely abandoned - malnourished, undressed, living in difficult living conditions. Usually, in our days, in conditions of universal material prosperity, hypoprotection does not affect the satisfaction of the urgent needs of a teenager, but manifests itself only in a lack of attention, care, and guidance. In spiritual life, adolescents find themselves completely on their own.
Latent hypoprotection is observed when control over the behavior and life of an adolescent seems to be carried out, but in fact it is characterized by extreme formalism. The adolescent feels that the elders are not up to him, that they bear only heavy responsibilities in relation to him, that in fact they would be happy to get rid of them. Latent hypoprotection is often combined with the latent emotional rejection described below. Usually a teenager learns to bypass formal control and lives his own life.
Hypoprotection is especially unfavorable with accentuations of the unstable, hyperthymic and conformal types. Such adolescents find themselves in asocial companies faster than others and easily borrow there an idle, full of amusement-seeking lifestyle.
Dominant hyperprotection. Excessive custody, petty control over every step, every minute, every thought grows into a whole system of constant prohibitions and vigilant vigilant observation of a teenager, reaching sometimes shameful surveillance. Continuous prohibitions, the impossibility of ever making his own decision confuse the teenager, give him the impression that “everything is not allowed for him”, and “everything is allowed for his peers”. Hyperprotection does not allow from an early age to learn from their own experience to use freedom, does not teach independence. Moreover, it suppresses a sense of responsibility and duty, because if everything is decided for a teenager and he is always told what to do, then he comes to the conviction that he himself can not be responsible for anything. In hyperthymic adolescents, the dominant hyperprotection even in younger or middle adolescence leads to a sharp exacerbation of the emancipation reaction. Feeling mature, such adolescents rise up a revolt against "oppression" and at some point completely break all parental prohibitions and rush to where, from their point of view, "anything is possible", that is, to an asocial street company.
On adolescents with psychasthenic, sensitive and asthenoneurotic accentuations, the dominant hyperprotection has a different effect - it enhances their asthenic features: lack of independence, self-doubt, indecision, inability to stand up for themselves and their business. These shortcomings make themselves felt when entering an independent life, that is, in older adolescence and post-adolescence.
Conniving hyperprotection. In extreme manifestation it comes that the child and adolescent are becoming the "idol of the family." Here it is not so much a matter of constant control / as of excessive patronage, in the desire to free the beloved child from the slightest difficulties, from boring and unpleasant duties. This is complemented by admiration for imaginary talents and exaggeration of real abilities. Such children grow up in an atmosphere of praise, admiration and adoration, they are admired and admired. This cultivates an egocentric desire to always be in the center of attention of others, to catch views full of interest in oneself, to hear conversations about oneself, and to receive everything one wants with ease, without much difficulty.
Permissive hyperprotection interferes with the development of skills for systematic work, perseverance in achieving goals, and the ability to stand up for oneself. For a teenager, a crisis situation is created: on the one hand, the desire to be in sight, to lead among peers, to enjoy their attention, to arouse their admiration, and on the other hand, a complete inability to exercise leadership functions, to subordinate to oneself, to lead others.
With hysterical accentuation, conniving hyperprotection pushes towards psychopathic development of the same type. However, it also contributes to the appearance of hysterical traits with labile and hyperthymic, less often with schizoid and epileptoid accentuation of character.
Indulgent hyperprotection in the case of epileptoid accentuation turns adolescents into cruel family tyrants who can beat their parents (“battered parents syndrome”, according to H. T. Harbin, D. J. Madden). Parents are ready to forgive everything, hide the inflicted beatings, whitewash and shield their tyrants, portray everything in the best light; fathers in such families usually calmly watch as a son or daughter beat the mother.
Conniving hypoprotection. This type of wrong upbringing is described by A.A. Vdovichenko (cited from: A.E. Lichko) in delinquent adolescents. This combines a lack of parental supervision with an uncritical attitude towards adolescent behavior disorders. Parents neglect signals from the outside about his bad behavior, resent public censure, seek to justify his misconduct, and shift the blame onto others. They shield their son or daughter, by any means they try to free him from the punishments they deserve. Such upbringing cultivates both unstable and hysterical traits. Once in educational institutions, especially under conditions of a strict disciplinary regime, and finding themselves without the usual conniving protection, such adolescents, at the slightest difficulties and conflicts, show a tendency to hysterical reactions (suicidal demonstrations, etc.).
Education "in the cult of the disease." Such upbringing is described by E. S. Ivanov in children and adolescents with cerebral palsy. According to our observations, it has to be met also with chronic somatic diseases (for example, with bronchial asthma) or physical defects. The illness of the child and adolescent becomes the center on which the attention of the whole family is fixed. A teenager gets used to the idea that illness gives him many rights, because of it, everyone should meet all his desires, protect him from all troubles, liberate from quite feasible duties, forgive misdeeds and allow what is not allowed to others. Such upbringing cultivates not only egocentrism, but also certain attitudes, exaggerated claims.
When faced with difficulties in life, the most universal becomes a hysterical reaction with withdrawal into illness, hypochondrization.
Emotional rejection. With this type of upbringing, the child and adolescent constantly feel that they are burdened, that he is a burden in the life of his parents, that without him it would be easier, freer and more free for them. The situation is even more aggravated when there is someone else nearby - a brother or sister, stepfather or stepmother, who is much more dear and beloved (the position of Cinderella). The latent emotional rejection consists in the fact that parents, without admitting this to themselves, are burdened by their son or daughter, although they drive away such a thought from themselves, they are indignant if someone points out this to them. By forces of reason and will, suppressed emotional rejection is usually overcompensated by emphasized care, exaggerated signs of attention. However, the child and especially the adolescent feels the artificial torture of such care and attention and feels a lack of sincere emotional warmth.
Emotional rejection has a heavy effect on labile, sensitive and asthenoneurotic accentuations, strengthening the features of these types. However, overt emotional rejection can also sharpen the features of epileptoid accentuation. When emotional rejection is combined with hypoprotection, labile adolescents seek emotional contacts in street companies - as a result, instability traits can be superimposed on the labile core.
Conditions of a violent relationship... Usually combined with emotional rejection. A cruel attitude can be manifested openly - by harsh reprisals for petty misdeeds and disobedience, or by the fact that on the child, as on a weak and defenseless creature, they rip off evil on others. But abusive family relationships can be hidden from prying eyes. Spiritual indifference to each other, caring only about oneself, complete disregard for the interests and needs of other family members, an invisible wall between them, a family where everyone can rely only on themselves, without expecting any help or participation - all this can be without loud scandals, no fights and no beatings. And nevertheless, such an atmosphere of mental cruelty cannot but affect the teenager.
Abusive relationships can also be cultivated between inmates. v some closed educational institutions, especially for difficult and delinquent adolescents, despite material security and a strictly regulated regime. The tyranny of the leaders, the mockery of the strong over the weak, reprisals for insubordination, servility of some and torment of others - all this flourishes especially easily if the work of educators is distinguished by formalism.
Upbringing in conditions of violent relationships enhances the features of epileptoid accentuation and the development of these same features based on conformal accentuation.
Conditions for increased moral responsibility. In such cases, parents have high hopes for their child's future, his success, his abilities and talents. They often cherish the idea that their descendant will make their own unfulfilled dreams come true. The teenager feels that his parents expect a lot from him. In another case, conditions of increased moral responsibility are created when non-childish concerns about the well-being of younger and helpless family members are entrusted to a minor adolescent (Sukhareva G.E.).
Nearly all adolescents show great resilience to elevated parenting expectations or the difficult responsibilities assigned to them. Failure and oversights do not produce a squeezing effect. An exception is psychasthenic accentuation, the features of which sharply sharpen in conditions of increased moral responsibility, leading to psychopathic development or to a protracted obsessive-phobic neurosis.
Contradictory upbringing. V one family, each of the parents, and even more so grandparents can adhere to different educational styles, combine incompatible educational approaches, exercise different types wrong upbringing. At the same time, family members compete, or even openly conflict with each other. For example, dominant overprotection on the part of the father and conniving on the part of the mother, emotional rejection on the part of the parents and conniving hyperprotection on the part of the grandmother may be combined. Situations like these are especially detrimental to the adolescent, posing a high risk of hitting the weaknesses of his character.
The adolescent appears to be the most sensitive to the type of inappropriate parenting that addresses the Achilles heel of his type of accentuation.
Education outside the family. In itself, education outside the family, in a boarding school, v adolescence is not a negative psychogenic factor. On the contrary, it is even useful for adolescents to part with their family for certain periods of time and live among their peers - this contributes to the development of independence, the ability to establish contacts, and the development of skills for social adaptation. Temporary separation from the family is especially helpful when the behavior disorder is associated with a difficult family situation.
Negative psychogenic factors are shortcomings in the work of boarding schools and other educational institutions - a combination of a strict regime bordering on hyperprotection, with formalism in its observance, which opens an outlet for hidden neglect, bad influences, cruel relationships between pupils, as well as a lack of emotional warmth on the part of educators. It is much more difficult to eliminate all these defects in a boarding school than in a harmonious family. That is why upbringing in such a family, supplemented and corrected by social upbringing, was and remains the best for the formation of a personality, especially in younger and middle adolescence. The described types of improper upbringing are associated with those tendencies that, to some extent, are inherent in a number of modern families.
Literature: Lichko A. E. Disharmonious family as a psychogenic factor. Types of wrong upbringing in the family // Psychology of the family and the sick child. Tutorial: Reader. - SPb .: Rech, 2007 .-- S. 30-37.
Types of families
A real family is a specific family as a social group, an object of research.
The typical family is the most common variant of the family model in a given society.
The ideal - the normative model of the family, which is accepted by society, is reflected in cultural ideas, religion.
Elementary - consisting of 3 members (husband, wife, child).
A complete and incomplete family is characterized by the presence or absence of children.
Guardianship families in which adults, according to the decision of the relevant authorities, are considered guardians of minor children.
A paternal or maternal family, where there is only one of the parents, who is constantly involved in the care and upbringing of the child.
Families - SOS - dysfunctional families (alcoholics, drug addicts), in which the full development and upbringing of children is difficult.
Family orphanage - families in which, along with their own children, several adopted children are brought up.
Monogamous family: single-generational (spouses), 2-generational or nuclear (spouses and child (children)), multigenerational.
A mixed family with children from different marriages).
Alternative families (modern civil marriage).
By the quality of upbringing: successful, dysfunctional, externally unfavorable.
Any family deformation leads to negative consequences in the development of the child's personality.
There are two types of family deformation: structural and psychological.
Structure - the composition and number of family members; structural deformity is usually associated with the absence of a parent.
Psychological is associated with a violation of the system interpersonal relationships, as well as a system of negative values, asocial attitudes.
Permissive overprotection - a lack of supervision and an uncritical attitude towards behavioral disorders. Promotes the development of erratic and hysterical traits.
Hypoprotection is a lack of guardianship and control, a true interest in the affairs, worries and hobbies of a teenager.
The dominant hyperprotection is overprotectiveness and petty control. Does not teach the child to be independent and suppresses the sense of responsibility and duty.
Upbringing in the cult of illness is a situation in which a child's illness, even a minor malaise, gives him special rights and puts the family at the center of attention. Self-centeredness is cultivated.
Emotional rejection - the child feels that they are oppressed. The attitude has a heavy effect on labile, sensitive, asthenic adolescents, strengthening the traits of these types.
Conditions of a tough relationship - expressed in the rejection of evil on the child and mental cruelty.
Conditions of increased emotional responsibility - childish concerns and exaggerated demands are imposed on the child.
Inconsistent parenting is the incompatible parenting approach of different family members. This upbringing can be traumatic for all types.
A lot of studies have been devoted to the study of the influence of the style of parental behavior on the social development of children. So, in the process of one of them (D. Baumrind) three groups of children were identified.
1) Children with a high level of independence, maturity, self-confidence, activity, restraint, curiosity, friendliness and ability to understand the environment.
2) Children who are not self-confident enough, withdrawn and distrustful.
3) Children, least of all self-confident, do not show curiosity, do not know how to restrain themselves.
The researchers looked at four dimensions of parenting behavior towards the child:
- control; it is an attempt to influence the activities of the child. At the same time, the degree of subordination of the child to the requirements of the parents is determined.
- the requirement of maturity; it is the pressure that parents put on a child to force him to act at the limit of mental capacity, a high social and emotional level.
- communication; This is the use of persuasion by parents to get a concession from the child, to clarify his opinion or attitude to something.
- benevolence - how much parents show interest in the child, warmth, love, compassion towards him.
Behavior model 1. Authoritative parental controls. Parents whose children were in the 1st group typed the largest number points for all 4 criteria. They treated their children tenderly, with warmth and understanding, kindly, communicated with them a lot, controlled the children, and demanded conscious behavior. Parents listened to the opinions of children, respected their independence, although they did not proceed only from the wishes of the children. The parents adhered to their rules, directly and clearly explaining the reasons for their own demands. Parental control was combined with unconditional support for the child's desire to be independent and independent.
Behavior model 2. Domineering. Parents whose children were in the 2nd group received lower marks for the selected parameters. They relied more on severity and punishment, treated children with less warmth, sympathy and understanding, rarely communicated with them. Controlled their children tightly, exercised their power easily, did not encourage children to express their own opinions.
Behavior model 3. Indulgent. Parents are indulgent, undemanding, disorganized, family life is poorly established. Children are not encouraged, relatively rare and sluggish remarks, no attention is paid to the education of the child's independence and self-confidence.
Attitudes towards the family change as they grow up. In the process of socialization, the peer group largely replaces the parents. The transfer of the center of socialization from the family to the peer group leads to a weakening of emotional ties with parents. However, one should not exaggerate: the exaggeration of the idea of “substitution of parents” by a group of peers corresponds little to the real psychological picture.
A normally functioning family - a family that responsibly and differentiatedly performs all its functions, as a result of which the need for growth and changes in the family as a whole and each of its members is satisfied.
Dysfunctional family - the family in which the performance of functions is impaired, which hinders personal growth and blocks the need for self-actualization. In dysfunctional families, as a rule, extremes are noted: excessive rigidity or blurring (diffuseness) of the boundaries of family subsystems; the "closeness" of the family or its chaos. Dysfunctional families are also characterized by violations of communication processes at the verbal and non-verbal levels. S. Minukhin (1998) points out the greater objectivity of non-verbal information.
Types of dysfunctional families
1. Family "pas de deux". A family of only two. It can be either a parent - a child, or a spouse. A two-person structure can lead to symbiotic dependence on each other, which interferes with the potential functioning of both family members.
2. Families of three generations. An extended family, consisting of three generations living together: grandparents, parents and children, is the most common type of family in Russia. Exists various forms families spanning three generations, ranging from a combination of a single parent, grandfather or grandmother and a child to a complex web of independent kinship systems that do not need to live in the same home to have a great influence on the child. In these families, the boundaries between subsystems are violated, the functions of parents are often taken over by the grandparents.
3. Family of the "shoe" type (family with delegation of responsibilities). Families with a large child subsystem. When there are many children in the home, parenting is usually assigned to one or more older children. These children take on the responsibility of raising the rest of the children as parental representatives. When the “child-parent” is assigned an unbearable responsibility or when he is not endowed with the power sufficient to carry out his functions, he can become a bearer of the symptom. Such a child feels excluded from the child's subsystem, but also not fully accepted into the parental holon.
4. Fluctuating families (wandering families). Families that frequently change their place of residence (example: families of military personnel). It can also be families in which their composition often changes (a single parent enters into numerous, following one after another love affairs, in each case the new person is considered as a potential parent).
Features of fluctuating families: blurring, greater openness of external borders, instability (at the place of residence, at work ...), uncertainty, high level general family anxiety.
5. Family - "accordion". Families in which a significant member of the family is absent from home for a long time. When one of the spouses leaves, the remaining one is forced to take on additional educational, managerial and leadership functions, otherwise the children will be deprived of this at all. For a while, parenting functions are concentrated in the hands of one person, and the family takes on the form of an incomplete family - a family with one parent. The assignment of additional functions to the spouse who remains at home is detrimental to the cooperation between the spouses. Children can further exacerbate parental separation, and with such family organization, there is a tendency to fence off the parent who is away.
6. Families with a "ghost" (families with a "ghost"). A family that has experienced the death or departure of one of its members may find it difficult to allocate responsibilities. The problems that arise in such families, their members may experience as incompleteness of mourning (“Now, if the mother were alive, she would know what to do.” Former coalitions between family members can remain as if the mother is still alive).
7. "Family of Amazons". Family with a predominance of the female subsystem. A man is on the sidelines, often he turns out to be a "scapegoat": all the responsibility for all the mistakes and failures in the family is shifted onto him.
8. "A family of gentlemen". Family with a predominance of the male subsystem. In such families, there is always a rivalry between men for the attention and love of a single woman. In a family, the unspoken leader is more often a woman.
9. Family "Whose Will It Take?" (families with a foster parent). Raising a child by a step-parent, stepmother or stepfather, and a parent. When a family enters adoptive parent, he must go through the integration process. It may not fully integrate into new family or the former family unit may keep him on the periphery. Children can increase their demands on the parent, exacerbating the problem of duality in front of him. In cases where the children lived separately from the parent before the new marriage, they are forced to adapt to both their own parent and the adoptive parent. Crises in this family are comparable to the problems of a new family organism.
10. Guardian families. A potential problem with this form of family is that it sometimes organizes like a real family. The child is included in the family system. If after this he develops symptoms, then they may be the result of stress within the family organism. The relationship of the symptom to family organization should be assessed. If the symptomatology is a consequence of the child's entry into a new system, then this system functions as if it were in a transitional state. On the contrary, if the child is already fully integrated into the family, then his symptoms are due to the organization of this family.
11. Psychosomatic families. These families function best when someone is sick in them. The peculiarities of these families include: excessive desire to protect each other; over-entanglement or over-focusing of family members on each other; inability to resolve conflicts; huge efforts spent on maintaining peace or avoiding conflicts, extreme rigidity of the structure. The exacerbation of the disease unites family members, the symptom performs a morphostatic function in this dysfunctional family. With remission of the disease in the family, there is stiffness in relationships, emotional barriers, and the loading of rules.
12. Substitution. The absence of any of the parents in the family. In this case, parental functions, and in part also matrimonial (spiritual, cultural communication, household), are assumed by the child.
13. Families "only you". A long-awaited child is born in an elderly family. Everything that happens in the family is done for him and in his name. Pathologizing family upbringing of the "family idol" type is characteristic.
14. Family with a disabled person. These families are characterized by a sense of guilt, compensated by the refusal of parents from other social and family roles. The boundaries of these families are extremely closed, they are characterized by a high level of aggression and many psychological defense mechanisms.
15. Family with a mentally ill person. These families are characterized by rigid boundaries, family secrets are expressed for them, fear (a desire to hide the disease from society; fear, whether it is sick itself), it is possible to ignore the disease.
16. "Unmanaged families": controllability problems can be different depending on the level of development of family members:
In families with small children, with an unstable upbringing style, the child does not recognize the rules and turns into a "little tyrant";
In families with adolescent children, controllability problems may be associated with the inability of parents to move from the stage of caring for the child to the stage of respect for the adolescent;
In families with young offenders, parental control depends on their presence. Parents strive to carry out as many management actions as possible, which often turns out to be ineffective. Communication stereotypes in such families are often chaotic. Communication is organized around small, unrelated affective interactions;
The family, where children are mistreated, too often becomes the only field of expression of power and competence of one of the parents, expressed in the form of aggression. Excessive focus on each other of family members is characteristic;
In families with developmentally retarded children, parents are often unable to adequately respond to the child's needs. These families are disunited.
Diagnostic problems of obtaining information about the family. The researcher must not only understand what kind of information he needs to determine the direction of diagnostic research - he must also receive it. For example, if information about the level of satisfaction of a family member is required when studying the sources of a particular neuropsychic disorder, the following question arises for the researcher: how can this level of satisfaction be identified? The solution to this issue is associated with at least three problems:
1) intimacy problem: in accordance with moral and aesthetic norms, with the customs and traditions of our society, some areas of family life are hidden by a veil of intimacy and therefore are difficult to access for strangers;
2) volatility problem: many events of family life proceed quickly, without holding attention to themselves, they easily elude even an experienced and trained observer;
A.E. Lichko, a well-known domestic psychiatrist, identified the following types of improper upbringing in the family.
HYPOPROTECTION. This type of improper upbringing in an extreme form is manifested by complete neglect, but more often by a lack of guardianship and control over the child's behavior, lack of attention, care and guidance, lack of parental interest in his affairs and hobbies. Latent hypoprotection is observed when control over the behavior and the whole life of a teenager seems to be carried out, but in fact it is characterized by extreme formalism.
DOMINANT HYPERPROTECTION. Excessive custody, petty control over every step grows into a whole system of constant prohibitions and vigilant vigilance over the teenager, reaching sometimes shameful surveillance.
CREATIVE HYPERPROTECTION. In its extreme manifestation, conniving hyperprotection has received the name of upbringing like the "idol of the family." This is the desire to free the "beloved child" from the slightest difficulties, from boring and unpleasant duties. From childhood, the child grows up in an atmosphere of enthusiasm, praise and unbridled adoration, which cultivates an egocentric desire to always be in the center of attention of others.
EMOTIONAL REJECTION. With this type of upbringing, a child or adolescent constantly feels that he is a burden, that he is a burden in the life of his parents. The situation is even more aggravated when there is someone else nearby - a brother or sister, especially a stepfather, a stepfather or a stepmother, who is much dearer and more beloved (upbringing like "Cinderella"). Latent emotional rejection occurs when the mother or father does not admit to themselves that they are burdened by their son or daughter.
TERMS OF CRUEL RELATIONSHIP. These conditions are often combined with extreme emotional rejection. The cruel attitude can be manifested openly - severe reprisals for minor offenses. Or it manifests itself when mental indifference to each other prevails in the family, concern only for oneself, complete disregard for the interests and concerns of other family members.
The system of cruel relationships can also be cultivated between inmates in some closed institutions for adolescents, especially difficult and delinquent ones.
INCREASED MORAL RESPONSIBILITY. In such cases, parents have high hopes for their child's future, his success, his abilities and talents. They often cherish the idea that their offspring will make their own unfulfilled dreams come true. The teenager feels that a lot is expected of him. In another case, conditions of heightened moral responsibility are created when the unchildish cares of caring for younger or sick and helpless family members is entrusted to a young child.
Conniving hypoprotection. Here, the lack of control and permissiveness in the attitude of parents to a teenager is combined with their uncritical attitude to his behavior. Parents always try to justify the teenager, for all his misdeeds, to shift the blame onto others, to protect him from public censure, and even more so from well-deserved punishment.
Education in an atmosphere of the cult of disease... Exaggerated concerns about health, the cult of the regime and treatment of existing diseases, in fact, are one of the forms of dominant hyperprotection.
Contradictory upbringing. Family members in such cases (father and mother, parents and grandfather or grandmother, etc.) use incompatible educational approaches and sometimes make conflicting demands on the adolescent. At the same time, family members compete, or even openly conflict with each other.
Education outside the family.
In itself, upbringing outside the family, in a boarding school in adolescence is not a negative psychogenic factor. On the contrary, it is even useful for a teenager to part with his family for some periods of time and live among his peers - this contributes to the development of independence. Temporary isolation from the family can be helpful in cases of severe conflict.
A negative psychogenic factor is still found deficiencies in the work of boarding schools and other educational institutions. Particularly unfavorable is the combination of an overly strict regime bordering on hyperprotection, with formalism in its observance, which opens an outlet for hidden neglect, the secret spread of bad influences, cruel relationships between pupils, as well as a lack of emotional warmth on the part of educators.
These types of inappropriate parenting prove to be especially detrimental to the child, creating a greater risk of hitting the weaknesses of his character. The child turns out to be the most sensitive to that type of wrong upbringing, which is addressed to the "Achilles heel" of his type of character accentuation.
That is why upbringing in a harmonious family, supplemented, expanded and corrected by public upbringing, was and remains the best for the formation of a personality, especially in younger and middle adolescence.
Workshop 1.
Discuss the following questions in class:
1. Give your examples for each type of group (see classification).
2. What is the fundamental psychological difference between a large and a small group?
3. Is it of practical importance for a doctor to know about the presence of informal groups within the team in which he works? If it doesn't matter, why? If it does matter, what is it?
4. The group usually has a leader who may or may not be the official leader. How is it psychologically different from the one appointed or even chosen by the group? official leader?
5. What is the difference between formal and informal group norms?
Discussion on making decisions in subgroups on the topic: "Psychological qualities necessary for working in teams (patients, medical personnel)" with a subsequent analysis of the behavior of the participants. Other possible topics: “professionally important qualities of a doctor”, “whether to communicate his diagnosis to a seriously ill patient?”, “Time machine”, etc.
Identify the problem and pose the question: "What to do?"
Listen to all opinions (both complementary and mutually exclusive);
Collide different opinions close to the truth, sharpening the discussion and thereby stimulating collective thought;
Having reached a unanimous (or supported by the majority) opinion (logically flawless conclusion), propose the wording of the conclusion (decision, general opinion)
Workshop 2
1. What is the significance of different types of parenting?
2. What style of relationships with children has been adopted in your family?
3. Talk to your parents and, based on their memories, reconstruct your family history(your family tree).
4. What family scenarios and the plots in it are viewed?
Control questions:
1. What are the main differences between small and large groups.
2. What are the main parameters of a small group?
3. What is the fundamental difference between the concepts of "cohesion" and "compatibility"?
- What are the ways to respond to group pressure?
5. Give a definition to the concept of a family.
6. Under what type of upbringing is insufficient control over the child's behavior manifested?
7. Name 2 options for the manifestation of upbringing by the type of increased moral responsibility.
8. What is the name of the parenting style in which the parents make different and opposite demands on the child?
9. How can latent emotional rejection of a child manifest? Give an example.
10. What is the difference between dominant and conniving hyperprotection? Do these styles have in common?
Control questions
1. Mandatory characteristics of a small group are:
1) contacts between its members;
2) mutual sympathy;
3) interaction of its members "face to face";
4) psychological compatibility.
2. As an example social category you can call such a set of persons as:
2) labor collective;
3) university students;
4) passengers of the compartment of the carriage.
3. Socialization is:
1) the formation of social norms in the group;
2) the expression of the social needs of the group;
3) assimilation by a person of the norms and values of a particular social environment;
4) social regulation of relationships in the group.
4. Homogeneity of the group by socio-demographic characteristics:
1) leads to the division of the group into several subgroups;
2) promotes good contacts between its members;
3) interferes with the cohesion of the group;
4) leads to the emergence of an informal leader.
5. The problem is best solved in a group when:
1) there are the same number of active and passive members of the group;
2) all its members strive for leadership;
3) there is a certain combination of the number of active and passive members of the group;
4) one group member has more information than others.
6. Group norms arise on the basis of:
1) official orders, instructions, etc .;
2) contacts between group members;
3) congenital needs;
4) the desire of some members of the group for leadership.
7. Conformity means:
1) uncritical subordination of the individual to the pressure of the group;
2) opposition of the individual to the pressure of the group;
3) cooperation between an individual and a group;
4) the desire of the individual to dominate the group.
Similar information.