© Natalia Gredina

Most of the Russian prisoners are men, many of them are waiting for a woman, sometimes not alone. Some condescendingly call them "waiting", they themselves often call themselves "zao" - correspondence students. Taiga.info spoke with a Novosibirsk resident about long-distance relationships, healthcare behind bars, and the humiliation of everyone who gets there, even if they came on a date.

Marina: a call from the zone

Marina does not know how her phone number ended up in prison, but one day two people started calling her from there at once. At first they said: “Girl, you have a pleasant voice.” Then: "Send a photo."

“I was young, but already very angry with the peasants, and it was interesting for me to lead them by the nose: I told one that I loved him, and the second. They were friends and both owed me money,” the girl recalls. They promised to give, but did not give. Naturally, everything they told me - “beloved”, “dear”, “I want a family and children” - cost 300 rubles in one case, and 1000 in another. They called, asked for more money, but I thought that my the entertainment has already been paid for.”

Phone calls with the guys continued until their third cellmate named Ivan told her that “beloved ones” were calling from a cell phone, constantly occupying it, and asked them to calm them down. Marina replied that if it bothers him, let him put things in order. Since then, those two have gradually quieted down, but Ivan began to call - "just talk about life."

When Marina went to the hospital and her ovary was cut out, her boyfriend “out of freedom” broke up with her with the words “what should I do with you now, since you don’t have an ovary.” Ivan called every day and reassured, and in the end gave a ring so that she would not be upset. “A relative of someone who was sitting with him came, we went to jewelry shop, I chose the ring, and Vanya paid for it. The ring was not the only gift. He gave me a chain, a gold bracelet, and before the New Year, when he did not yet know that he would be convicted, he presented me with a fur coat. He had money. In parallel with the calls, he began to write letters to me, says Marina. “After the ring, I started going to his courts.”

Ivan: two walkers

The relationship between Marina and Vanya began when he was in SIZO No. 1 in Novosibirsk. Marina says that the first time he sat down, because he and the boys opened the garage: “He was seventeen then, the rest were adults, they told him:“ You are a youngster, take over. While the court and the case, he turned eighteen, and he sat down for eight years. It was a good big garage. At 26 he was released, at 28 he sat back.

The second time Ivan was imprisoned for serious bodily harm: he beat a man for stealing a telephone from a neighbor in a communal apartment. “Vanya decided to stand up for the girl. He waved his fists, returned the phone, but the man he had beaten ended up in the hospital. If Vanya had not been previously convicted, no one would have started a case, - Marina is sure. “But if you were sitting, then you always ‘hit’.”

At large, Ivan was engaged in cargo transportation and was married to another woman, but she did not want to wait for the end of the term - he was sentenced to seven years. Considering the year spent in the pre-trial detention center, he was released six years after meeting Marina. And they signed two years after his first call.

“At first we just talked, and then we decided to get married to see each other,” she explains. He is real, I am real. We became a family, we just didn’t live together.”

According to Marina, Vanya never pulled money out of her, as some prisoners pull from their “zao”. He played cards and was financially independent, sent flowers by March 8, and she did not have to "take out three loans" to support him in the colony.

Help was required, rather, organizational, including a close community of people like her, waiting for women: for example, to tell relatives what is possible and what is not in the programs. “Once in a colony they simply stopped taking medicine from relatives, and a man with asthma died because they didn’t take an inhaler. The administration said that they buy everything themselves, but the person did not wait for their purchase, ”recalls Marina. “But we still managed to convey something. I bought dried fruits, aspirin, paracetamol and analgin in inhuman quantities. She took a mortar, crushed tablets and filled aspirin powder into dried apricots, paracetamol into prunes, analgin into raisins, soaked it all and so brought it to the zone. Then the shop was closed, because drug addicts also took advantage of our methodology and began to put drugs in dried apricots.”

Marina: I would find a normal man

Spouses were supposed to have three long (two or three days each) and three short-term dates a year - they did not miss anything.

“We did not quarrel: neither when he was sitting, nor when he left. Before Vanya, I was deeply disappointed in men. Everyone who was before him was interested in other aspects of life: do I cook deliciously, is it possible to borrow money from me, is it possible to go in for *** ( have sex - approx. Taygi.info)? What I think is that nobody cared, - Marina laments. “And he heard me, understood me, loved me, I had someone to talk to, so I didn’t care what would happen next.”

But she had almost no friends except her closest ones - few people understood Marina's love for the prisoner. Sometimes new “prison” girls appeared in the social circle with whom it was possible to discuss upcoming dates and a vague future, but many of them were disappointed in long-distance relationships after a month, after a year. “They said:“ I found a normal man to whom you can cuddle up at night and cook borscht for him, ”explains Marina.

Marina's relatives were also not happy about her marriage to a prisoner. When her parents were asked if Marina was married, they answered that she was not, although she had already been married to Ivan.

“If you are waiting for someone from prison, you are second class, something is wrong with you,” she says. “Yes, and men themselves often think so. When the girls argue with them, prove that they are worthy of this or that, the convicts answer them: “If I were worthy, I would find a normal man.”

The circumstances of their lives, indeed, could not be called normal. Marina took a sip of humiliation from the system of execution of punishment, even without being convicted. During searches before dates, she was stripped naked and asked to squat down. Once she came to Vanya's colony in Toguchin during her period - the employees of the Federal Penitentiary Service tore apart the used gasket. “It was terribly embarrassing,” Marina shudders. - After me there was a girl with baby, so they took off his diaper and put a finger in his ass.”

But it was possible to cope with all this, as long as it was possible to talk and correspond with Ivan, who “everything was interesting” about Marina.

“I am before him and I am after him - these are two different person. When we started dating, I was insecure. He was the first to say, “You're a girl. Why don’t you have earrings and rings?“ When they cut out my ovary and said that I would not become a mother, I had a terrible depression, I felt like an empty flower. He was the only one who said: “Don’t listen to anyone, you will have everything, and if you don’t, then what?” she explains. - Every day he said that he needed me, that he would not leave me. And all this care, sweets and bouquets were until the very end. Even when he was in the tuberculosis dispensary, we ran to the shore for a walk.

Ivan: turboHIV

Toward the end of the term, Ivan felt unwell: cough, fever, weakness. Once he called Marina and told her to take an HIV test. She received a negative result, he received a positive one, and he offered to leave. “I answered:“ No, let’s talk about it in freedom, ”recalls Marina. - He turned out to have a set of sores: HIV, tube, hepatitis. Well, there were drugs sometime in his life."

When Ivan left, they had nowhere to live together. Neither Marina's parents, nor Vanya's former neighbors in a communal apartment would agree to shelter a young family. The latter mainly because Vanya was ill with tuberculosis. Therefore, Marina rented an apartment.

“He didn’t understand shit after his release. With a height of 1.87 m, he weighed 51 kg, the temperature was 38.7, he was suffocating, there was no strength. I was so naive that I thought if we called an ambulance, they would take him to the hospital right away. I called, the dispatcher was already writing down the address, and then asked: “Is he coughing?” - “Yes.” - "We will not go" - "Why?" - "Well, does he have tuberculosis? With tuberculosis only in the direction of the hospital.

How many people die of tuberculosis in Siberia

Marina and Ivan went to the hospital on their own, where they were told that the former prisoner did not have any documents from the colony confirming the illness: “Give urine, blood, sputum, we need to wait for tests, but we don’t do a fluorogram today ... Somewhere then in a month there will be a place.

Seeing from the state of Ivan, who could hardly walk, that they might not have a month left, Marina rushed to the colony for extracts from the medical card, then began a siege of the Ministry of Health in order to secure a place for her husband in the tuberculosis dispensary. After two weeks of complaints to the ministry and Roszdravnadzor, Vanya was admitted to the hospital.

“I was not afraid of getting infected, I didn’t feel separate from him at all and thought that we are now together for the rest of my life, and what do I have to lose then? Marina recalls. - I took prophylactic anti-tuberculosis therapy, of course. Then, after nine months, she did a fluorography, and there was a blackout in the lungs - she still picked up tuberculosis.

A little more than six months have passed since the release. Due to HIV, Ivan lost his immunity, and, despite the medication, tuberculosis quickly “ate up” him. He no longer got up from his hospital bed, therefore, in order to treat Marina with strawberries, he negotiated with his roommates.

“He came out in November and died in June. I was there at that moment. He was choking, throwing up blood, I was also covered in blood, I was looking for doctors who had a planning meeting, the nurse drove me back to the ward, - Marina cries. “Then they grabbed me by the shoulders and took me out. I asked: “Help him, he is in pain.” And they answered: “That’s all.” I said: “His lips are moving!” They answered that it was convulsions.”

Marina: covered flashlight

Three years have passed since Vanya's death. At first, Marina tried not to be alone, she spent a lot of time with friends. Then she began to go to a psychiatrist, because she really wanted Vanya. She tried dating another man, but often told him that she missed her husband very much and how much he looked like her husband. “I ended up getting pregnant from him. True, he insisted on an abortion, but I refused, because I had previously been diagnosed with infertility, and my pregnancy is generally a miracle, ”says Marina.

With the birth of her daughter, Marina was a little relieved by the feeling that she is the light, and Vanya’s death is like covering the flashlight with a hand and preventing it from shining. Now life has generally improved: my daughter is growing up healthy, Marina has become a volunteer in orphanage, is engaged in tutoring, trying to build new relationships. But Vanya, apparently, is with her forever.

"Why is that? Why was I waiting for him? I have an answer, but I'm not sure if it can be understood correctly. I was completely, to the brim, filled with the feeling that I was loved. The way I am. This feeling made me absolutely happy,” she admits. - And also strong. It turned out that I can do a lot, because they believe in me. I felt like I was the sun in his world. It's a big responsibility to be somebody's sun, but it makes you grow."

PS: About 600 thousand people are kept, according to the latest data from the Federal Penitentiary Service, in Russian colonies, colony-settlements and pre-trial detention centers.

Text: Margarita Loginova
Video: Kirill Kanin
Letters from the personal archive of the heroine

I never planned to get acquainted with the prisoner and have any relationship with him.. But I have a friend whose husband ended up in the zone, was sentenced to seven years, and she went on dates with him. And then one day he mentioned that there are very good guys who would like to meet a good woman to start a family. Like, tell Katya, suddenly she wants to receive a letter from a person from the zone.

I was lonely at that time, the years passed, marriage was not expected. It became kind of curious, and then: a letter - it doesn’t mean anything yet. I agreed, and soon I received several messages at once. I did not answer everyone, I chose a certain Pavel. It was well-written, sensible, moderately romantic. By the way, convicts are the biggest romantics in the world, as well as "storytellers": they will write such things! And they promise - in general, not even from three boxes, but ten.

Pavel said that he was in prison because he took on someone else's guilt, for a friend because he had the large family. Were in the company, drank, there was a fight, and a murder was committed. I didn't even take part in the fight. I only found out later that the three most common versions of crimes among prisoners are “took on someone else’s fault”, “sat down stupidly”, “stand up for his (or someone else’s) girlfriend”.

A correspondence ensued. I heard that some areas have Internet, but he was not there - we exchanged ordinary letters in envelopes. Pavel characterized himself very positively: hard-working (he had a construction education), drinks only on holidays (also, by the way, a hackneyed wording), loves children, and so on. Hot-tempered, but quick-tempered (another stamp), but then I did not pay attention to it. I received a photo of Pavel. He looked good, handsome, I didn’t see anything “zekovo” in his appearance: a man as a man. In response, I sent Pavel mine and received as many compliments as I have never received in my life!

As a digression, I will say that our women hear very little. good words : from men, from husbands, from people in general. And here - like God's dew dripping on parched earth. I was pleased, and I began to feel that I was falling in love with Pavel just for these words. Soon he invited me on a short date, and then again a retreat, however, somewhat confusing: she did not figure it out right away.

If the convict is serving a sentence in a strict regime correctional colony and is located in normal conditions, then he is allowed to have three short-term and three long-term visits during the year; under facilitated conditions - four short-term and four long-term visits; under strict conditions - two short-term and one long-term appointment. If the convicted person is in a penal colony special regime, under normal conditions, then he is allowed to have two short-term and two long-term visits during the year; in facilitated conditions - three short-term and three long-term visits; under strict conditions - only two short-term dates. A convict who is serving a sentence in a colony-settlement may have visits without limiting their number.

I had no right to a long-term meeting (three days): not a wife. Therefore, we communicated through glass and spoke through a tube in the presence of a correctional officer (I think many have seen this in films). That was the first time we met in person, and of course I was very worried. The day before, she put herself in order as best she could, and again received a lot of compliments. We talked about everything, somehow gradually got to know each other. Pavel knew what words to say so that I would just be thrilled. He spoke little about the conditions of confinement, more joking about how, in the colony, they get free food three times a day, and you can lie on the bunk beds to your heart's content, and play games, and tell jokes.

In subsequent letters, declarations of love have already gone, appeals "my beauty", "the only one" and the like. I began to send parcels to Pavel with allowed products and things - I always collected them with love. Once he wrote that his sneakers were torn and his tracksuit was worn out. Like, my mother has a small pension, there are no earnings in the zone, and it’s inconvenient to ask friends. I chose the most expensive sneakers I could buy, and a tracksuit too.

I went on three more short dates, and then Pavel asked me to marry him.. Then we could finally meet in the colony no longer on opposite sides of the glass and stay together for three days! I won’t say that I threw myself into the pool with my head - I thought and pondered for quite a long time. A wife is already serious, and I had to wait another seven years for him. Consulted with others at a minimum. At work, no one knew anything at all; I told about Pavel only to close friends and parents. My dad and mom were sharply against this marriage, girlfriends treated differently. Someone said that if this is love, then why not, others said that one should be more careful with those who are in prison, and it is better to look for a person in the wild.

I nevertheless married Pavel, although I understood that to combine my time in prison with a family life is quite difficult and behind bars - a completely different world, little connected with our realities. Pavel and I signed in the zone. I brought an employee of the registry office with me, I paid for everything myself: this is how it usually happens. We received congratulations from the head of the colony, but in general everything went very simply and modestly. But it didn't seem to matter.

Then I arrived for a long-term date, to which I now had the right. Not a very pleasant moment when they searched me, but I was psychologically prepared for this, because I understood where I ended up. All products brought with them were also carefully checked; By the way, this did not apply to what I later bought in the prison stall. I brought food both ready-made and raw: it turned out that there is a stove in the common kitchen and you can cook. The shower and toilet are also shared, but the rooms are separate, there is a bed, a locker, a table and chairs. I will not describe the details of the date - it is too personal. I can only say that the first wedding night was a success, and in general, Pavel did not disappoint me in communication.

In the communal kitchen I met other women who came to visit their imprisoned husbands. By the way, such culinary masterpieces that I saw there, I have not seen anywhere else. What dishes were not prepared, what recipes were not shared! Only it seemed strange to me that many women brought children with them, even babies. What for? In my opinion, neither the children at that time needed dads who were in prison, nor the fathers in this situation needed children. Although, perhaps I'm wrong, because at that time I had no children.

It's no secret what the main purpose of dating is for many incarcerated men: it's sex. Of course, it is necessary to discuss some family, domestic problems, and it is better, of course, live, but at worst this can be done in letters or on a short date. Pro intimate relationship with prisoners among the women present in the kitchen there were whole legends. They say that hungry men are something plus the prisoners insert some kind of “balls” into their causal places. These conversations were very uncomfortable for me.

One lady said so in general that she specially signed her name several times, and then divorced precisely with prisoners, because, according to her, "freemen" are not men. I understand that she traveled all the zones. She openly laughed at those like me who signed in the colony “for love,” and said: “Girls, they need you to send parcels, but in the wild they will immediately find others for themselves!” There were many ordinary modest women, whose husbands were also not some kind of recidivists: after all, as they say, don’t renounce prison and scrip.

And so the time flew by. I was waiting for my husband. I didn’t want to give birth to children before Pavel’s release, and he didn’t start talking about it either, so during long-term meetings I carefully protected myself. But my friend, through whom I met my husband, almost every time came from a pregnant colony, and then begged the gynecologists to send her for a free abortion, because her husband was sitting there, there was no money. And so, of course, I wanted to have a full-fledged family with children.

I met my mother-in-law and talked, although infrequently. She accepted me as a daughter-in-law and, of course, did not say anything bad about her son. We didn't really get close, although I didn't mind it at all. But the mother-in-law turned out to be one of those people who, under any circumstances, tend to live more for themselves than for others. Two years before Pavel's release, Anastasia Vasilievna died, and it was I who took over the funeral, as well as the improvement of the grave.

When Pavel was released, of course, there was a holiday. Had a great time; however, he was in no hurry to get a job. We lived in my apartment (the apartment of Pavel's late mother, however, was rented out), well, but for the rest - at my expense. At first, I treated this condescendingly: after all, a person spent so many years in a colony, let him rest and enjoy his freedom. Then he began to drink in the company of friends, then to behave rudely; humiliated me - sort of like a trifle, but it hurt. Still didn't work. I will not describe everything that happened: every woman who has had similar things in her family knows this.

I could not understand how and why before so gentle and romantic the man gradually turns into someone completely different. At first I forgave everything, thinking that Pavel's mother had died, and spending so many years in captivity is a great psychological trauma. However, I was already wary of having children from him. I tried to find out what was the matter, and one day Pavel told me: “I dreamed of you, lying on the bunk, like a beautiful princess. And here, when you are around, you become ordinary, and I can have a hundred like you. By the way, after that it turned out that he was also cheating on me: once I checked his phone and found correspondence. When I told him about it, he hit me.

In the end, we broke up. Seven years of life lost and I'm alone again. I honestly waited for Pavel - his release was for me like a star in a black sky. But this "star" turned into a black hole. I am without a family again, no children. I will never tell anyone: "Do not mess with prisoners under any circumstances." Everyone has the right to happiness, and many of these couples actually do well. It’s just that you don’t recognize a man and you can’t check it at a distance - everything is known only in actions, in deeds, in those relationships when a person is nearby, although even then at first you can’t learn much. By the way, I never found out whether it was Pavel who killed that person or whether he simply shielded himself in front of me. However, this, like many other things, is on his conscience.

Lena Kozlova Age 27

Russian photographer, born in Yekaterinburg. Graduated from the Faculty of Journalism of the Ural Federal University. Participated in master classes at the Summer School of the Russian Reporter, took an author's course on documentary photography from Mikhail Domozhilov. Collaborated with publications and Internet resources "Media Zone", "Russian Reporter", "Schrödinger's Cat". She was shortlisted for the "Young Photographers of Russia - 2016" competition, participated in exhibitions in Moscow and Marsciano, Italy ("Marsciano Arte Giovani").

- "Mom, I fell in love with a bandit" - a portrait series about girls who are waiting or waiting for their loved ones from prison. In most cases, they met their soulmate in in social networks or on the forums. On the Web they are called "waiting." This is a whole virtual community. They cannot openly tell about their love to others, sometimes even to relatives and friends.

They are difficult to work with, as many are ashamed of their relationship or worried about how their partner will react to participating in a photography project. To find my heroines, I wrote to more than 150 girls, did many pre-interviews, and ended up shooting only six heroines. But it was worth it - they have amazing stories. While working on the project, I realized how special love Russian women have, how great their desire to take care, despite the real danger and disapproval.

Natasha, St. Petersburg

- We met on the phone, through the Beeline dating service. I was bored and I sent him my number. They corresponded for two days, and on the third day he said that he was in prison - then he still had a year left. We exchanged photos and immediately didn't like each other very much. But the common theme was: he quarreled with a girl, I broke up with a guy. That's how communication grew into something more. He called for a date, but I didn’t go - I broke my leg.

What was surprising was that he did not ask for money, like many, and gave his mother's number. In September, he was released on parole and disappeared for three days. And then he came to me with flowers and sweets. Swollen strongly, it is noticeable that he drank well. I felt freedom. It was our first meeting, then we sat silently for thirty minutes, looking at each other. From that day on, they began to live together.

My relatives, of course, reacted badly to everything. After all, he was in prison three times for theft, after the army more than a year was not free. And his family was delighted with me, they say he has changed a lot with me. Before, he used to take crowds of friends to his place, they drank everything, even the vacuum cleaner that his mother gave him. And now for the first time in his life he got a job, he wants children, a normal life.

His acquaintances are completely different: they use drugs, no one wants to work, especially those who have been imprisoned several times. Seryozha himself says: “I don’t understand what happened to me so that after three years of imprisonment I go to work!”

We exchanged photos and immediately didn't like each other very much.

Even my parents softened when he began to provide for me, and we do not live with me, but in his room. He allowed to have animals, he himself presented a Scottish fold cat with all certificates. Recently he made me an offer - we went to the registry office, filed an application. We have little money now, so everything will be simple. But I still bought the dress.

The only thing I'm afraid of is his friends. I try not to let them communicate, otherwise they will go on a spree and end up somewhere again.

Alena, Moscow

- We met through my girlfriend, who talked with his friend in Odnoklassniki - everything is trite. He was interested in my 13 tattoos, we discussed them, and it grew into something more. Two months later, I went on a date with him. We saw each other through two glasses, shouted through the bars, immediately love-carrots. I almost fainted from excitement.

They gave us a normal date only when we signed, after 9 months. Because he was imprisoned for robbery with a threat to life. He and his friends were drunk, they decided to pick up the old debt, they took away the phone from the man and shot him in the leg. All three were imprisoned under a serious article, mine was given the most - five and a half years, since he is from Ukraine. When we met, he had to sit two and seven, all this time I was waiting for him.

What's hooked? People who are in prison know how to talk to girls. You are the most beloved, affectionate and beautiful for them, even if they have never seen you. They specifically study this, they read books on psychology. It didn’t really bother me, I just immediately asked him to introduce me to my mother. She threatened to stop everything. He introduced. I lived with his mother and sisters for several days.

People who are in prison know how to talk to girls. You are the most beloved, affectionate and beautiful for them, even if they have never seen you.

Came out, we've been together for a year. The child was brought in - 2 months already. It's hard, of course, there is no work. Moreover, he is from Ukraine and has no right to stay in Russia for another five years. But I don't think he will ever go back to prison. I wonder how this man even got there. He carries the child for four hours in his arms so that he does not cry. He cooks, cleans, he has adequate friends.

This person knows everything about me, just as I know about him ... probably.

Ekaterina, St. Petersburg

- I'm waiting from prison for the second. The first time was interesting. his ex big love They called me the same as me: both the name and the surname coincided. Either he was looking for her on VKontakte, or a girl with such initials. But he wrote to me, and we got to talking. I then just broke up with a young man, I wanted communication and understanding. And there in prison everyone is good psychologists, they say the words you want to hear. And most importantly, they also suffer from a lack of attention. We got everything up and running quickly. After a couple of weeks, I literally did not tear myself away from the phone, carried it with me to the bathroom and to the toilet. We talked until six in the morning.

He had only a year to sit, and I decided to wait. In the summer I went on a date, I really wanted to talk personally. Although photos and telephone conversations were fine, you need to feel a person. Mom categorically forbade me to go, so I left the child from my first husband with a friend. What a trip it was! Even on the train, I felt like I was on pins and needles. Arrived - everywhere there are fences, bolts, metal doors, constant checks and everyone treats you strangely. They also took him out of the cell and immediately brought him into the search room. That is, you already see it, but you can’t say anything yet. And I want to hug and talk. Three days fly by in an instant.

When he was released, I rented an apartment for us, but it was expensive, and soon we moved in with me. At first everything was fine, but then differences in concepts were discovered. The further, the worse it got. He did not want to work, he did not like to get up early. Three months later I became pregnant. He got into drugs. The drugs made him different - not the person with whom we made plans together. We broke up four months ago.

How did it happen that I began to wait for the second? In fact, we knew each other by will, we even met once for a short time, and then he disappeared. I found him on social media and asked how he was doing. He replied that he was in jail. Asked for a number.

I don't tell anyone about us, especially my mother. I defended the former in front of her, but it turned out that she was right. If she finds out, she will condemn - for her, the zeks all look the same.

He sits in a strict regime colony, so we communicate only once a day. Only wives are allowed to visit, but I want to try to negotiate. The guy is winding his third term. In general, he’s good, he’s also an athlete, but the way of life is gopnicheskoy. Now he is already 31 years old. He says he wants a family and a normal life. Unlike the first, he does not play cards and does not ask for money. And because of that, I even took loans for thirty to fifty thousand.

I am an open person, I always believe in the best and hope that bad man you can do good.

I do not regret past experiences and now I am not ready to give up such a life. This has its own romance, ordinary relationships can not be compared with this. I am an open person, I always believe in the best and hope that you can make a good person out of a bad person. I have fans in freedom, even a lot - I don’t know why it draws on prisoners. Mom says I have such a psychology.

Natasha, Yoshkar-Ola

- We met while still free, after a month or two he was imprisoned, and our communication ceased. Two years later he wrote to me. After some time, he offered to come for a short date - she agreed. When I saw him, I realized that I fell in love: I left the zone - everything was like in a dream. I didn't know what to do, I let it all go. We continued to communicate. He proposed to me, asked his girlfriend to buy a ring and flowers.

We got married six months later in the colony. We were given only five minutes, because my husband is a malicious violator of the regime, and he is in prison under Article 105, part 1 - for murder. They gave me seven years, I waited two, there are three more.

I have many fears. My cousin's husband was sitting, and when he left, they lived a little and parted. And sometimes you read stories in groups on VKontakte - the heart turns over. When he comes out, I want to take him away from his friends, somewhere south, to the sea. I always tell my friends that my husband is on a business trip. She told one colleague that she was married to a prisoner, and he told me: “If he leaves, he will leave.” So what if so? Then I will be 25, I can find another, and this story will become an experience for me. I started to treat everything easier, stopped worrying.

Natasha, Zarechny

Everything started out stupid. I just divorced my husband. We texted each other in Odnoklassniki, he said that he was in jail and offered to meet. And what am I - a lonely, divorced girl, I say: let's have fun. A month later he left, came to my house. And there is only a nanny with a child (from his first marriage), so the first thing he met was his son. Met me from work. I stand, shy. And he has known each other for a hundred years: he approached, kissed. And from the first day we began to live together. I didn't need a babysitter the next day. He began to mess with the child, trimmed, fed, played. Then he took us to his mother. After all, I didn’t even teach my son to eat from a spoon - he did it all.

They lived together for two years, and he again got drunk, and was put on the wanted list. He tells me: “I don’t want to go back, I won’t go, they will put me in jail.” She persuaded him to go, otherwise they would add him for the escape, but he didn’t get into any. What's funny, my dad is a police captain, but they quarreled, and my father began to help the cops in every possible way. I was taken with the child to another apartment and locked on the fifth floor.

Somehow I hear someone calling. I think this is my roof gone. I went out to the balcony to check - there was no one, I raise my eyes - it hangs. It turns out that he and a friend knocked out the door to the attic. A friend holds him by the legs, shouting: “Natasha, take it, otherwise it will break!” I grabbed him, dragged him somehow, and for a week we lived with him locked up. When my father came, I hid my beloved in the closet. We wanted to run, but there is a safe-door that cannot be opened in any way. Then friends brought a rope, and he was able to go down.

We texted each other in Odnoklassniki, he said that he was in jail and offered to meet. And what am I - a lonely, divorced girl, I say: let's have fun.

I would have been on the run for a long time, but I got drunk on City Day, got bolder and let's send the cops to hell. They grabbed him. I didn’t know anything for a long time, and then a summons came to court - they called me as a witness. The term was short: a year for the crime and another six months for the escape. I was assigned to a colony near Kamensk-Uralsky. Dates every three months for three days, plus for good behavior they give extra. It is expensive to ride them: it takes about seven thousand to buy food alone, and also to rent a ticket and a room.

Religious reading: a prayer for a husband to return home from prison to help our readers.

From the prison ordered not to renounce. You love your husband, faithfully waiting for a release. To quickly release him, read prayers to Nicholas the Wonderworker.

Everyone can hang the stigma of a jailer, and condemn a stumbled one too.

My dears, I do not justify the murderers, but those husbands who are imprisoned due to negligence have the right to your heartfelt prayer.

Nicholas the Wonderworker will help in liberation, but, as you know, everything is the will of God.

Light 1 candle. Place the icon of St. Nicholas next to it.

Yearning for your husband, in your own words, ask Jesus Christ for his early release.

Read the prayer “Our Father” several times. Don't forget to cross yourself.

Start slowly whispering special prayers addressed to Nikolai Ugodnik.

Wonderworker Nicholas, Defender and Savior. Let go of the sins of the husband, sitting in prison, sick from imprisonment. If it is destined to be released ahead of schedule, let it be firmly attached to faith. May your will be done. Amen.

Nicholas the Wonderworker, God's Pleasure. I beg you, help your husband, save him from the evil time. May the prison correct him faithfully, and forever reject this filth. Being free again, the Lord's love will protect him. May it be so. Amen.

Wonderworker Nicholas, Savior and Defender. I suffer for the sinfulness of my husband, I am waiting for him from prison. Help his grieving soul, fall according to real faith. You bring liberation closer with a prayer, I will pray next to you. Amen.

Your husband will be released from prison - in the time set by the Lord God.

Strength to you, faith and patience!

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Almost every woman, getting married, hopes that she will be with her beloved until the end of her days. And many ladies live in sincere confidence that their faithful will never leave home, even if he constantly grumbles and has long been dissatisfied with his life. Such naivety leads to the fact that sooner or later the presumptuous woman finds herself alone after her husband leaves the house, slamming the front door loudly. And here comes the time to think about what to do to return her husband to the family. At such moments, ladies are ready to use any means and options offered on the Internet. But do not rush and make rash decisions. Today we will tell you how to bring your husband home in one day. We will also discuss the reasons why men leave their once beloved wives and children.

Reasons for leaving the family

Perhaps there would be fewer unhappy wives if they knew the reasons why husbands leave. After all, sometimes the reason is the most ordinary things that women did not even notice in the bustle and whirlwind. Or they didn’t want to notice, hoping that their missus would not go anywhere under any circumstances.

Of course, most wives tend to blame a young and beautiful rival for her husband's departure. However, according to psychologists, this is not the most common reason forcing men to completely change their lives. Let's try to clarify this situation a bit.

Experts identify a whole group of reasons that in the future force women to look for ways to return their husband home in one day:

• neglect of husband. This mistake is made by the vast majority of wives. The fact is that for some reason, ladies, having received the coveted stamp in their passport, begin to feel more confident and literally forget that their second half also needs care and attention. Over time, a man gets tired of such an attitude, but his wife, unfortunately, notices this already when it becomes very late.
• Appearance of a woman. Many ladies with age completely stop taking care of themselves. They forget that men love with their eyes and want to see their chosen one beautiful and well-groomed.
• Hyper-care. Some wives from the first days of marriage “take patronage” over their missus. They independently resolve all important issues, control every step of their spouse and comment on all his actions. Not a single strong and self-confident man will endure such an attitude for a long time.
• Lack of understanding and communication. Often the marriage of two loving people turns into a series of monotonous days. Spouses stop sharing their problems and dreams with each other, relax separately, do not have common entertainment, and eventually become almost strangers.
• Manipulation. Many women think that the best way to influence her husband and get what he wants is manipulation. In some families, this is a long silence after a quarrel, refusing to have sex, and the like. Any wife knows perfectly well what is the most effective way to manipulate her man. However, such methods unequivocally lead to a break.

If you recognize yourself in all of the above, then it is likely that soon it will be you who will begin to look for ways to return ex-husband to the family.

Family leaving scenarios

In addition to the reasons already mentioned that lead to the breakup of spouses, there are various scenarios for leaving home itself. We have identified the most common and typical:

• young and beautiful mistress;
• break after a noisy and serious quarrel;
• lack of love;
• divorce;
• a conflict situation that completely excludes communication between husband and wife.

For each of these options, there is whole line ways to bring your ex-husband back home. Ask which ones? We will be happy to reveal this secret to you.

Overview of ways to return a man to the family

Interestingly, psychologists say that a departed husband does not need to be returned at all. According to statistics, after a year men come to the conclusion that they have made a terrible mistake and they themselves are trying to reconcile with their spouse. However, if you cannot wait that long, then we will tell you how to return your husband home. In one day, of course, it will not always be possible to do this, but in any case, at least one of the methods will certainly lead to the desired result. We can say that there are no more than three of these methods:

Usually, in the most critical situation, women are ready to use all possible options to achieve their goal. Magicians, sorcerers and sorceresses assure that, thanks to the appeal to higher powers, ladies will not have to look for another way to bring their husband home in one day. They have a conspiracy and ritual for almost any scenario of a man leaving home.

But experts prepare offended and upset women for serious work on themselves, which should lead to results by realizing and correcting the mistakes made. Therefore, first of all, we will look at the problem through the eyes of a psychologist. How to get your husband back, using the advice of experts, we will tell you in the next section of the article.

What can not be done when a loved one leaves?

Even the most beautiful and economic woman can leave her husband. As we found out earlier, there are a lot of reasons for this, so a similar situation can happen to any of the fair sex. How to get your husband back and how to behave can be read on any women's forum. However, the advice there is surprisingly banal and often does not help solve the problem. But psychologists can give really practical recommendations, with the help of which a woman abandoned by her husband will be able to return him to the family again. First of all, experts advise you to behave correctly after a loved one announces his departure from home. This will be your first step towards happy life. So, what you definitely should not do if you want to maintain the respect of your husband and continue your relationship with him in the future:

• Don't talk about your pain and disappointment. Naturally, seeing how the spouse collects his belongings in order to leave the family, every woman wants to stop this process at any cost and is ready to dump all her negative emotions. However, this should not be done, men on a subconscious level do not tolerate women's tears and tantrums. So brace yourselves and be restrained.
• Do not put pressure on your spouse and in no case show aggression in his direction. Now you don't have to show your character. Otherwise, the husband will finally be convinced of the correctness of the decision made.
• Don't beg your husband to come back. At the moment when a loved one is collecting his things, you should not persuade him to stay. Let the man do what he has in mind, no matter how hard it may be for you.
• Don't be humiliated. This can only cause pity in the departing man, but in no case love. Remember that only a woman who respects and loves herself is worthy of male attention. Save your pride, and in the future it will be much easier for you to return your husband to the family.

Only after the front door closes behind your spouse, you can give free rein to your feelings. But do not forget about the children, they should be sent to their grandmother or other close relatives for a while and not made participants in family quarrels. They should not see a tearful and upset mother. And it is absolutely unforgivable to draw them into the struggle for the return of the spouse home. Try to approach your trouble as a task that is quite possible to solve in the shortest possible time, and boldly proceed to consistent actions.

Unfortunately, there is no universal advice on how to get your husband back after a breakup. After all, each situation is purely individual, however general recommendations may be useful to you. Use them selectively or all at once:

• Maintain friendly relations with your spouse. This is especially true if there are children in the family. This is how you show that you still support your husband and are always glad to see him in the house. In addition, communication with children can make a man longing for a lost family.
• Maintain close relationships with your ex-husband's friends and close family. In a critical situation, they will always act as witnesses in your favor and will be able to influence the spouse who left the family.
• Become the initiator of communication with your faithful. You should not pursue him, however, you may well ask him for help in repairing an apartment, fixing plumbing and other “male” matters. Such tactics will allow you to see each other and show your fragility and insecurity.
• Always look like a million dollars. Despite your heartache and problems, be on top and carefully monitor your appearance. This can discourage your spouse and arouse his former interest. After all, he will wait for tears, tantrums, and calm and beautiful ex-wife after parting - this is something absolutely incomprehensible and interesting.

Of course, these tips will not be able to return your missus in one day, they are generally designed for several months. In the following sections of the article, we will talk about various scenarios for a man leaving his family and ways to return him.

Another woman

Situations when a spouse leaves his wife, with whom he lived for several years, and begins to build new family with his mistress, are described in magazines, literary works and shown in films. Despite this, the problem is quite acute and many women face it. How to get a husband back from another? What to do to make him lose interest in the opponent?

Psychologists say that men begin to look for love on the side only when their other half has completely ceased to suit them. This may be due to external data, life or sexual dissatisfaction. In any case, an abandoned woman should very carefully analyze life together with your spouse and correct your mistakes. If you have abandoned yourself, then now is the time to go to the gym, beauty salon and go on a diet. You will be surprised, but after the ex-husband sees you renewed, his interest can be the beginning of your new and happy relationship. The same applies to other aspects of life. Become different than past life. This will be the key to returning your spouse to you.

However, if you do not want to wait so long, then try turning to magic. It can make a huge difference in your life in one day. Women speak very well of the ancient love spell, which is able to destroy the husband's connection with his mistress and return him to the family. To do this, you will need a photo of your missus and his new passion. Now you can start the ceremony. Burn a box of matches, and apply their ashes to the image of your spouse. Place a photo of your opponent on top of it and start wrapping them with black thread. Both photos should turn into some kind of cocoon. After that, say the following words using the names of your missus and his mistress: “I want one (name) to turn away from the other (name). Between you there is only grave ice, cold and ashes. Not a single spark will kindle a fire between you anymore. Now the cocoon must be burned and the ashes scattered. This conspiracy will cause regular quarrels among lovers, which will lead to the return of the husband to a previous relationship.

How to get your husband back after cheating? Often women address their misfortune with prayers to the Most Holy Theotokos. She is an intercessor for families, so she often helps to return a walking spouse to the family. One of the most effective is the following prayer: “Have mercy on us, Mother of God, protect and close us from the sins committed. Give love, harmony and longevity to my house. Let the servant of God (the name of the spouse) cling to the servant of God (the name of the wife) and nothing earthly will separate them forever and ever. Amen". Such a prayer can be read several times a day.

Breakup after a fight

It happens that the spouses quarrel very seriously and in the midst of the conflict, the man slams the door and leaves in an unknown direction. As a rule, he may be absent for a day, a week, or even several months. In this situation, you should not be too proud and let everything take its course, so you can lose your loved one forever. Psychologists say that during a quarrel, most men go to live with friends, go to the country or rent an apartment for themselves, if funds allow. Husbands usually spend time drinking alcohol after a serious scandal, which can lead to a real binge. Therefore, a woman should definitely find out the address of her loved one and try to talk to him. In this conversation, you should not look for right and wrong, just tell us that you are bored, you regret the quarrel and you want to restore relations with all your might. Sometimes, for this purpose, a close friend or relative is sent to the spouse. He can quite cope with the role of a peacemaker.

white magic She can bring her husband back home literally in one or two days. The ritual with the use of dolls is considered very strong. You will need wax, a small piece of fabric and a skein of red thread. Make two wax dolls and write your names on them. Then the figures must be tightly wrapped with thread, tightly wrapped in a rag and wrapped again with thread. After that, the dolls must be removed so that no one can find them.

If you trust only the divine higher powers, then pray to the Mother of God. First of all, go to the church, and put a candle in front of her icon, mentally voicing your request. Be sure to purchase a similar icon for your home and place a photo next to it where you and your husband are together and happy. Read any canon to the Theotokos six times a day, looking at a happy photo.

Husband fell out of love and left: what to do

Sometimes men say that love has passed, and calmly cross the threshold of a once-native home. It is considered to be one of the most difficult cases. But he is far from hopeless. If the husband directly said that love had passed, you should not scream and make scenes for him. Think about what previously attracted your spouse to you, and take a critical look at yourself in the mirror. Have you recovered? Stop taking care of yourself? Haven't updated your wardrobe for a long time? Believe me, now is the time to start serious work on yourself. And so that the result is not long in coming, you can turn to magic and conspiracies as an addition.

Our great-grandmothers also used a plot on clothes. If you still have the things of your ex-husband, then you can perform the ceremony on a shirt or jacket. For a conspiracy, you will need new threads, but you can only buy them on Thursday. An indispensable condition is the growing moon. Carefully count the money before paying for the purchase - you must give the amount without change. Keep in mind that you should not talk to anyone on the way home. Having crossed the threshold of the apartment, immediately sit down by the window and take a thread and a needle in your hand.

Before you start sewing, look at the moon and think about what you want. Then carefully sew the seam, the stitches should not be noticeable. While working, say the following words: “I make a path with stitches, I lead with a thread of my beloved. This stitch returns love to the house, and my dear hurries. From now on, not a minute, not a day, he can’t live without me, he can’t drink sweet honey. I tie a knot, I fix the words said. Amen." After that, return the stitched item to your husband under any pretext. Soon he will return home.

Divorce

Oddly enough, but many women want to return their ex-husband after a divorce. Is it possible?

Psychologists unanimously declare that if you have feelings, this is quite real. And, as you know, the spouses still have an attraction to each other and a complex range of emotions for a long time. Try to get to know your former spouse again, start making friends, appearing together in public and, perhaps, over time, your relationship can be given a second chance.

Some women are helped to return their husband by the prayer of the Matrona. A blind old woman often contributes to the fact that miracles happen on earth. Therefore, you should definitely contact her with your trouble. To do this, come to the church and pray near her icon. If you wish, you can read the troparion, but also a pure, sincere prayer in simple terms must also be heard by higher powers.

Conspiracies also help to return an ex-husband after a divorce. Their goal is to awaken longing for the family and the old life. You can use effective conspiracy for the new moon. At this time, it is necessary to say seven times, looking at the night star, the following words: “The moon and stars walk in the sky, just as surely my husband dries for me. The circle of heaven cannot be changed, the spouse hurries home against all odds. After that, head to bed and imagine your loved one next to you. The text must be read within nine days.

Protracted conflict

If you constantly quarrel and almost do not speak normally, then it will be very difficult to return your husband to the family. Conspiracies and rituals will not help here, but a psychologist's consultation will be very helpful.

Experts advise to save such a marriage only if the usual scenario of communication is completely changed. You will have to learn to listen to your other half, reckon with his opinion and skillfully find compromises. If you are not ready to do this, then you should not even begin to return your husband.

We hope that our article turned out to be useful to you and now you know that the departure of a man from a family is not always his final and irrevocable decision. A wise woman has every chance to completely change the situation.