To answer the question do guys like modest silent girls, you need to decide on the concept. Modest - what are they? Silent - how's that? If this includes a sense of proportion in everything - in emotions, behavior, cosmetics, clothes, words and expression of feelings, then I can say definitely - yes, but not to everyone.

If here we mean downtroddenness, painful shyness, lack of communication, a monastic lifestyle, then alas, no, a guy in adolescence (and not only) age is unlikely to decide on a relationship with such a girl. You can read here in more detail.

There is a fairly widespread opinion that the so-called. outgoing, outgoing girls are more attractive to guys than shy and quiet girls. Yes, this is so, if we talk about the majority, but even they do not like too much that there are too many potential rivals hovering around them. And certainly none of them like it if such girls dress or put on tasteless shoes, maintain an absolute vacuum in their heads, and behave emphatically impudent and vulgar, while also smoking like steam locomotives.

What I want to say is that guys are not welcome to extremes in either case. Therefore, there should be a certain golden mean here. If a girl is modest, from an ordinary family, her social circle is limited, and requests do not go off scale beyond reasonable limits, but she is modern enough, aware of everything that is interesting to her peers, and it is interesting to communicate with her, then she has every chance to please the guy.

Do guys like modest girls? We look at ourselves

Try to evaluate how friendly, sweet, polite and even graceful you are, because many of today's young men dream of just such, and "bite" on what is more accessible. This is due to not too strong self-confidence. Indeed, in order to communicate with a cultured and intelligent, well-educated person, you still need to reach his level yourself.

Therefore, you should not try to copy the behavior of girls who are "popular" among guys. Over time and experience, young men still change their tastes and preferences, and every time you should not adjust to them. In addition, as the hero of one film "Men", which was very popular in Soviet times, said: "You do not know one thing about us, men: why we meet with some, but marry completely others" (this is not literal, but suggestive ).

Of course, guys are attracted by everything that is bright, catchy, beautiful, sparkling, they admire it, write it down on the list of their victories, and then, with a clear conscience, change such a girlfriend for a brighter one from their point of view.

Discreet, modest girls begin to interest young men when they are convinced that more often than not, a catchy girl is a rhinestone, a fake, which is easy to confuse with a diamond that they are looking for. Therefore, in the question of whether guys like modest and silent girls, you should not focus on the word “modest” and “silent”, let it be so, you should not break yourself for the sake of passing fashion.

If guys like shy girls, why?

Many young men find a lot of advantages in modest and pretty girls: lack of self-esteem, demanding of people, lack of obsession with fashionable clothes and competitions "who will seduce or promote a guy faster." They appreciate in modest girls and the fact that you will not meet them in tipsy companies or with a cigarette in your hand, you cannot call them “Miss Glamor” or “Sex Girls”. Only the most worthy, confident and strong in character will fall in love, but everyone respects.

However, you should not go to extremes: turn yourself into a gray mouse or be a mother's daughter all the time. A modest girl who, in addition to all her virtues, has a sense of her own dignity, and a desire to have fun, and the desire to respect, love not only others, but also herself, will make them move mountains. It is necessary to overcome shyness, as well as develop the ability to maintain a conversation, and protect yourself from the attacks of "firebirds".

Everyone needs to feel like a person, individuality, read interesting books, watch equally interesting films, engage in self-education, increase the level of intelligence, regardless of whether he is a modest person or not. You just don't need to dwell on this. Life is much broader.

By the way, most often those girls who think that they have excess weight... You can read about how young men treat them in the article by clicking on the link.

I have a friend - a good example of whether guys like modest girls - she was just that in her youth, but this did not prevent her from being strong when needed, sociable when needed, this did not prevent her from becoming a wonderful mother and wife, to realize oneself in the chosen profession. Her husband is proud of what she achieved (he knows what it cost her), and just loves it when she blushes (still!)

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For centuries, the attitude "Modesty paints a maiden", instilled in gentle creatures, has ceased to correspond to the truth - "quiet" young ladies often come to this conclusion. Are the shifts in gender relations really so revolutionary that the question of why they don't like modest girls has become acute and requires an urgent restructuring of the traditional upbringing system - the subject of our conversation.

Modest: appearance, habits, consequences

The shy, quiet person is distinguished by laconic speech, restraint, vulnerability. Plus timidity and mystery. What's wrong with this bundle of characteristics? A true man should be flattered by the weakness and vulnerability of his potential half - a knight like this woman wants to warm, caress, protect. For the role of a caring wife and an ideal mother, she is more suitable than anyone. But no - not everything, it turns out, is simple.

The modest ones sound the alarm: the gentlemen do not want to notice their "positive bouquet" - and that's it. Question-statement "Do guys like modest girls in our liberated time?" on sites-blogs-forums sounds more and more persistent and desperate. Frankly, not without reason. Because a lack of courage often results in a complete lack of initiative, and behind a tacitly mysterious appearance, apart from stupidity and stupidity, nothing can be revealed.

It makes no sense to give a list of repulsive young men of the hidden qualities of "dumb quiet people" (and this unwillingness to develop, complexes, communication problems, pedantry and half a dozen more "negative factors") is meaningless. He is known - although not to all "good fellows" and not at any age. Yes, modest and shy girls are not interesting to teenage guys who are fixated on the "packing" side of the girlish face. However, later these "suitors" revise their evaluative vector.

For boyfriends at the "hormonal-explosive" stage, the brightness, relaxedness, availability of a girl is more important than her intellectual baggage and human dignity. Moreover, the inconspicuous "gray" mice, unlike their brave peers, do not express their sympathies, assessments, desires. "Vyunosham" is not up to solving mysteries - such a friend next to them embarrasses them, preventing them from asserting themselves in the circle of friends. It is too early to think about a family for an ignoramus; victory “here and now” is his main goal.

Smart, but discreet shy girls in the period of growing up are pushed into the background by self-confident, uncomplexed "company stars" - especially if they are supported by influential and wealthy parents. Low self-esteem and indecision is not the best union for a young (and not so) lady. But sociability and the ability to stand up for oneself with insolence are in no way connected. Everyone needs them - shy mice too.

Modest girls like - the point of view of men

“The men run after the shameless and arrogant, but the modest decent girls are not particularly fond of” - the opinion is erroneous, but you cannot deny him the “share of truth”. For a male hunter (and this is his genetic role), in order to catch a “game”, he must first notice it. Cheeky ladies are visible from a distance - not to mention the fact that you cannot ignore them up close. For a real hunter, without an inferiority complex, the idea of ​​taking possession of a daring trophy seems flattering.

Here is a chain that leads hunter-fighters to overshadowing "mice" girls "with initiative." There are cases when the hunter himself becomes a victim. But such episodes "do not pull" on a regularity. Socially mature and dreaming of true love and a cozy family nest without "pitfalls", a man will eventually "see" the very clever shy girl who will give him this happiness. Her task is to the right choice nudge.

Don't be born beautiful - turn on Pushkarev

Her fate depends on how a modest girl will "give" and behave in a situation when she has decided on the object of love. That the courageous half of humanity prefers to marry persons of the "Katepushkarev" type is not a fiction. However, being shy and shy to the point of ridiculousness, losing the power of speech in a man's presence is overkill, behavioral excess. Anything else will come in handy. The main thing is to be yourself.

The phenomena of the silent-shy woman, "turning on" a real conqueror, include her inherent fear by word or phrase to betray her interest in bringing the former closer together. This factor also inspires modest guys: although they will not be alienated here, it will be easy to find a common language. And that the potential of by no means weak "forget-me-nots" is huge, there is no need to prove: "in a still whirlpool" such wealth should be laid ...

It turns out that the advantages of domestic shy-touchy girls are the sea. They are feminine, soft, delicate. They avoid gossip and showdowns with scandals, they know how to keep secrets. Yes, they are inexperienced, constrained, wild, they do not immediately make contact, but how nice it is to gain their favor! Experienced "clever men" are not surprised by the described prospects - it remains to arm the girl-female contingent tactically.

Defining the problem

Why do guys always run after impudent girls who don't give them a penny? Why do they not pay attention to modest girls who sigh quietly in the corner and are silent, but, nevertheless, know how to cook, wash, clean, love and the like?

• First, at the genetic level, men are hunters, despite the thousand-year history of civilization. And the alleged "game" must first be seen, or at least know that it is in the area. Agree that modest girls are usually imperceptible, against the background of nimble and liberated beauties;
• secondly, if a man does not suffer from a pronounced inferiority complex, then he has a craving for the better. Since the first impression is made up of eye contact, then the "best" is recognized that which immediately falls and lingers on. After all, it is not always possible to consider the corner where the modest woman has dug in;
• thirdly, for all the functions necessary in everyday life, there are mothers with whom guys often spend most of their lives and love them to the point of insanity. Yes, don't be surprised, but men are rational and they don't need two washing machines to wash one pair of socks. So why would they marry a second mom?
• fourthly, we look at men as princes who will ride, win, offer, take away - and all this on their own initiative. At the same time, guys are often afraid of responsibility and want the initiative to come from a woman, “bring that, I don't know what,” and they could show miracles of dexterity in performing the task. A legitimate question arises by itself: why is it so difficult for girls to voice their wishes? It is more difficult to understand the modest, men do not like to solve puzzles.

Correct installation

If you deeply understand why guys do not pay attention to modest and calm girls, and do not like them, then you need to consider the sequence of development of any relationship. Basically, the period up to 30 years in men is associated with an active search for themselves, and there is no place for long-term relationships. Physiologically, the girls turn on the function “to make the nest” earlier. The family and offspring must be healthy, so the need for marriage, and, as a result, the bearing of a child in women is included in the period from 18 to 30. Guys can afford to walk without obligation for much longer.

See also: Why men love little women

Representatives of different genders love in different ways. Men always combine both career and family calmly, dividing these concepts in their minds, and women dissolve into loved ones, begin to live with their problems and concerns. It is too mental characteristics those and others.

Modest women cannot imagine an independent existence, with the adoption of their own decisions. Whereas men, forced to take them at work, with friends, with their parents, at home, want to take a break from this role, and be little boys themselves. Therefore, we look above, mother can also solve household issues, and it is very restless and difficult to answer for his wife, especially if she does not clearly express what she wants.

They love scandalous and picky, or even arrogant girls only because the demands expressed aloud are always clear, and the emotional charge allows a man to be fed like a battery.

Guys are very sensitive to their personal status, and a bright, smart, well-groomed girl is a confirmation of it in the eyes of close friends. A shy woman will not so clearly demonstrate successes and victories. young man... Especially if she cannot maintain a conversation in close company or once again publicly admire her man because of innate or acquired modesty.

Relationship stages

Psychologists say that there are seven phases that a couple must go through in order to speak with confidence about mutual love. This list looks like this:

• violent love;
• slight satiety;
• complete rejection;
• the beginning of tolerance;
• mutual service;
• respect for each other;
• love.

In the context of our research, shy women simply have no chance to advance beyond the third point. Why? They love, or rather, fall in love, they quickly and all-consuming, often endowing the chosen one with fictional character traits or qualities. But “tolerance” for a partner moves from fourth place to second, while for men everything is according to plan, and satiety comes on time, according to the indicated schedule.

See also: Reasons why men cheat, but don't leave

Not understanding why she so annoys her beloved, the girl continues to endure in silence. But think, is your chosen one really so stupid that he does not understand his boorish attitude? As a result, the feeling of guilt, not voiced on his part, but constantly present, forces him to leave the "too good, silent and tolerant" woman, and leave so as not to look like a monster in the eyes of the people around him. True, the reasons that are voiced at this moment may sound like insults, threats, indignation, because in fact it is difficult for him to admit the most obvious fact - he is imperfect.

So, dear shy girls, do not take everything on your shoulders, better develop your talents, abilities and learn to be interesting, not just useful.

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In the past and the century before last, modesty in a woman was extolled as an undeniable virtue. However, today the trends have changed. Many men argue that it is preferable for them to associate life with a girl who is more relaxed, courageous in her judgments and actions. Is this really so and do guys really dislike shy girls?

Practice shows that men still prefer to have fun, indulge in pleasures and be friends with relaxed female representatives. But they often build families with more modest and meek women. Sometimes a man manages to tame his restive soul mate and raise a decent and noble girl in her. It also happens that a woman herself, seeing the prospect of marriage, begins to change to please her man. Often it is family life weakens the ardor of girls who in the past did not shy away from alcohol, noisy parties and indiscriminate flirting.

Why is this happening? Why on earth does a man refuse to accept his beloved as she is and try to remake her or choose a shy woman as his wife? To find the answer, you need to list the merits of the latter. So why do guys like modest women?

1. Modest girls are often very level-headed. And men, in turn, only in their youth can claim that they adore scandals and stormy showdowns. Often they demand submission and recognition of their superiority from women.

2. Guys like modest girls because they are great listeners. They are ready to listen to the stories and complaints of a man all day long and rarely say anything contrary to it. This allows a man to feel more significant, to believe in himself.

3. Modest women are capable of compassion. They have not yet become victims of emancipation and are sincerely worried when a loved one complains of a minor injury. By the way, many shy women treat guys with maternal warmth and care, which men really appreciate.

4. Modest girls are a mystery. They do not like to be in the spotlight and often keep their opinions to themselves, which arouses genuine curiosity among guys who, as you know, respect the presence of secrecy in ladies.

5. Girls with a meek disposition rarely claim to be the head of the family. They are easily content with what they have and rarely strive to achieve personal or professional heights. Motherhood, taking care of her husband and children - these are the main priorities in life for a shy woman.

But. There is always a "but" in everything. These qualities of a modest girl always lie on the surface, however, due to his secrecy, it is very difficult for a man to understand what is actually on the mind of a modest girl. Rather, he often thinks that it is an open book for him, although in practice everything may not be so at all.

Do guys like modest girls? The answer cannot be unambiguous, because the tastes of men in their youth and more mature age can change dramatically. And then, men are often mistaken about shy women, because often those who hide under the guise of good manners and constraint are used to thinking a lot and drawing unexpected conclusions. Do not think that a shy woman is not able to surprise a man.

- Often these women have worldly wisdom, and if they understand that life with this man has reached a dead end, they can leave him without explanation.

- Shy women know how to manipulate, and imperceptibly for men.

- Modest women are far from being silly, and the moment will surely come soon when the men living side by side with them will understand this.

It has always been considered that modesty is the main virtue of a woman. But today, ideas about the attractiveness of a girl have completely changed, guys more and more often choose for themselves the one that is not distinguished by shyness and modesty. Why guys are no longer attracted to reserved and mysterious girls.

What a shy girl she is

For a modest and shy girl, concepts such as non-verbosity, mysteriousness, passivity, defenselessness, vulnerability are suitable. It would seem that all these qualities should attract the stronger sex. A real man wants to protect and protect his soul mate, a quiet and laconic girl will become a faithful caring wife and a wonderful mother for future children.

But there is also a negative side: lack of initiative, lack of ambition and personal opinion, unwillingness to develop, self-doubt, pedantry. These qualities annoy men and guys today.

The main question is: why do all of the above sides of such girls repel young people? But the point is that shy girls mostly only push off young guys- adolescents, at a more mature age, the values ​​of a man change in the opposite direction.

The reasons guys dislike modest girls

Firstly, a young and active guy will not even notice a modest girl, because in her young years she is engaged in studies and self-development, she does not have free time to meet and communicate with the opposite sex. Secondly, even if he notices her, she will outwardly lose a lot to her peers, who lead and look defiant.

In the period of growing up in young people, the choice of a potential partner for a relationship is based not on her personal qualities, but on a bright and beautiful "package". Stylishly dressed, bold and even impudent girls are a "pride" for a teenager, she is not ashamed to show her friends, go with her to the cinema or to a disco. A modest girl who more often at a young age resembles a "gray mouse" rather than fatal beauty, will not arouse the interest of friends and will not become the soul of the company.

Another reason is the "hormonal explosion" in teenage boys. A dissolute indiscreet girl more easily agrees to intimacy... That is, easy accessibility attracts guys, which is difficult to say about a modest girl. Her in best case it will take a long time to persuade, and at worst, it will not be possible to do this. By the way, in most cases this is the main answer to the question: why guys don't like modest girls.

Self-doubt is characteristic of a modest girl, this not only prevents her from finding a worthy partner, but also in dealing with people. Men feel when a girl next to him feels uncomfortable, but not everyone realizes that the reason for this is her internal barrier, and not some of his shortcomings. In any case, the presence of complexes and low self-esteem becomes a serious obstacle for a young lady in relations with the opposite sex.

Inability to stand up for herself makes a girl unattractive in the eyes of guys. A young man will take it as an honor to stand up for his soul mate in front of other guys. But often modest girls are ridiculed by more daring peers, and in this case the guy will not defend the interests of his beloved, but rather turn away from her in order to protect himself from outside attacks.

In general, as they grow up, young people are looking for bright and affordable girls. In adolescence, not a single young man thinks about a serious relationship with his chosen one, he, by and large, does not care what kind of mistress and mother she will be, the important thing for him is that “here and now”. And a girl at this age does not think about creating a family.

What are the criteria by which a guy chooses a girlfriend?

If we talk about the fact that uncommunicative girls repel guys, then too vulgar and obsessive persons they are also not attracted. More precisely, the lack of femininity will never attract a man, either a mature or a teenager. Therefore, the bright appearance and sociability of a young girl is a clear advantage that should be moderate.

At a young age, men evaluate a woman's appearance not by her natural data, but by her ability to improve them. In other words, a guy is more likely to pay attention to a girl with moderately bright makeup than without it at all. Pretty haircut and manicure, a tendency to experiment with their appearance attracts and lures guys. It is these qualities that modest girls are deprived of.

Sociability and good feeling humor make a girl especially attractive... With such girls, it is not easy to willingly enter into close relationships, but they can also just be friends or spend time together if they have common interests. Modest girls can not always become an interesting interlocutor, more precisely, she will rather become just a listener.

By the way, overly arrogant and demanding people also repel guys, and much more often than shy ones. Some girls with early age spoiled by expensive things and excessive attention from their parents. Young bankrupt guys can't provide for a girl expensive gifts and beautiful courtship, and they simply do not want to give them constant attention, since they themselves, by and large, need care and guardianship.

Output

Indeed, the relationship of opposite sexes in adolescence- this is a complex process when young people completely lack a sense of responsibility for each other, and neither one nor the other wants to burden themselves with serious relationships. Young people are attracted to simple and immodest girls, while the latter are attracted to "bad" guys.

With age, closer to 25 years, the values ​​of a man completely change in the opposite direction. An adult man is looking for a life partner among modest, decent women who will be reliable, loyal and caring wives. Although daring and brave women are also attracted to adult men, but more sexually, for example, as a mistress.

There is an opinion in society that a modest guy is an unpopular young man. Because of this stereotype, many men suffer from an inferiority complex.

Important! Today it is very easy to take care of yourself and have an attractive appearance at any age. How? Read the story carefully Marina Kozlova Read →

But not all girls dream of seeing a masculine macho next to them. To please them, you do not need to "break" your own character and pretend to be someone else. Many women suffer from the fact that they are surrounded by callous men, and they would like to have a gentle and sensitive friend nearby.

Who would like a shy guy?

Not all girls are sickened by a supporting role. There are also daring, domineering "Amazons" who enjoy playing seducing an indecisive man.

Attempts to pretend to others, to become more decisive can lead to development a large number complexes. But this is not the only one negative consequence: a modest young man in a different image will simply not be noticed by his betrothed, deciding that he is no different from most of her acquaintances.

Guys who are decisive and aggressive in their courtship do not always appeal to girls. Especially if the shy type of men pretends to be. From the outside it looks at least strange: he starts a conversation and immediately falls into a stupor, then tells jokes for a long time and laughs nervously, afraid to look his interlocutor in the eyes. This is what gets in the way of building new relationships.

It is not recommended for this type of men to have a relationship with indecisive young ladies. Such lovers will part faster than they even dare to kiss. A modest girl is used to active courtship and is not ready to show her feelings first. Therefore, it is important not to pretend and look for "your soul mate".

The type of women that suits humble men is the female leader.

A man looks away when his eyes meet

What are the benefits of humble men?

Shy guys don't look as effective in society as their masculine friends. But modesty is exactly the quality that can distinguish them from those around them. A silent person always creates a feeling of mystery, you want to talk to him and find out what he is thinking. Of course, if the silence is not accompanied by a sullen expression.

Girls who have already had relationships with this type of young people note that such men are more sensitive to their girlfriend, they are more careful about relationships. According to statistics, shy guys are much more likely to pleasantly surprise their chosen ones in bed than their self-confident friends.

The advantages of such men include the following qualities:

• delicacy;
• attentiveness;
• unobtrusiveness;
• sensitivity.

Shy young people focus on the impression they make. Therefore, they quickly perceive the change in mood and more easily guess the desires of their beloved. It's easier to come to a compromise with them and it's just nice to talk to.

What actions do girls expect from a shy guy?

To find a life partner, humble men also need to show sympathy. Otherwise, the chosen one will not understand that they sympathize with her. It is important to identify your strengths, for example, delicacy, and weaknesses - nervous chuckles, chaotic hand movements. Based on these observations, it is necessary to appropriately show signs of sympathy for the girl you like, for example, in the form of a half smile, looks and body language.

It is important for a person to understand that he is welcome. Otherwise, the girl, even if she liked the guy, will choose avoidance behavior. Then the chance to continue communication will be missed.

Shy girls - what are they? Gray, silent, invisible in the crowd. They lose a lot against the background of gorgeous beauties with bright makeup, who get a thrill from life.

Are these mice destined to remain a lonely spinster with five cats? Or can you see a charming lady in such a shy woman? And what kind of man is attracted to a modest woman?

Is there a chance for a shy girl to find her love

Why a shy woman sometimes has to wait "in the wings"

In their youth, men need to assert themselves - to be a leader, to achieve more, to win the best. Passions boil, adrenaline rolls over, life is in full swing. And only by the age of thirty, when the guy had played enough, there was a midlife crisis.

He suddenly realizes many things:

And where did I run, trying to achieve all this, and what did I actually achieve?

Did what I previously thought was perfect made me happy?

Am I not wasting my nerves and energy on things that are no longer interesting to me?

So it is with love. Having married the best beauty, she turned out to be like a “Meringue”: empty inside, besides, an uninteresting and bad hostess. Therefore, they are already looking for something that would be pleasant for themselves, and not for show. And if he finds that shy woman who has already overcome that nasty complex in herself, but remains a good man, then this union will be harmonious.

By the way, most often it happens that it is the gray simpletons that are most of all to the taste of the same shy men. But their complex makes it difficult to get to know the shy woman. Do you remember the movie "Where is the nofelet"? There, the main character tries to marry his cousin, introduces bright girls, and he is in love with his fellow traveler, a stranger, an unremarkable woman. Here, look:

What a man begins to notice in a shy woman

If a woman has already ceased to hold the defense against men and is tired of fighting loneliness, then there will definitely be that knight who will notice her and relieve her of complexes. He will certainly find all her attractive qualities and will celebrate them with delight:

How sweetly she blushes and lowers her eyelashes when he asks her uncomfortable questions.

How she is embarrassed and covers her lips with her palm, restraining herself from laughing loudly when he jokes.

What grace in her movements and gestures when she talks about something or does something.

He begins to like her precisely for these little things in her behavior. A little later, when they are tied up serious relationship, the man understands that he needed this one for peace of mind. After all, she does not demand much from him, does not like to argue and is used to finding happiness in simple things.

With a man in love with her, the shy woman begins to shed her "gray plumage". Another plus is that even after getting rid of complexes, such a woman will not betray her lover, and he, in turn, will not want to change anything in his comfortable life.

Stay who you are

It doesn't matter that modest girls not lucky right away. Men really like nice and simple women, they just have to come to this understanding, mature before that. But after all, quick beauties break their hearts about the callousness of narcissistic males.

Finally - an unusual technique

Let's do a thought experiment.

Imagine that you have the super ability to "read" men. Like Sherlock Holmes: she looked at a man - and immediately you know everything about him and understand what is on his mind. You would be able to get any man and have an ideal relationship and you would hardly be reading this article right now in search of a solution to your problem.

And who said that this is impossible? Of course, you will not read other people's thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.

We advise you to pay attention to the master class from Nadezhda Mayer. She is a PhD in Psychology, and her methodology has helped many girls to have perfect relationships and feel loved.

If you're interested, you can sign up for a free webinar. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 places specifically for visitors to our site.