Every child deserves to be loved. Children who, for whatever reason, were left without parents, dream of finding a family again. But when the happy moment arrives, and the baby and his adoptive parents are faced with the need to go through a difficult stage in the relationship, which is called "adaptation of the adopted child."

Most often, married couples want to adopt a child at the age of from three months to four years, although, of course, they take older children. It seems that a child at an unconscious age has not yet had time to understand the full severity of his position and will easily accept foster parents as relatives. Needless to say, a very small kid will not even remember that he was taken from the orphanage!

But the point is that on unconscious At the level, a period spent without significant adults (especially without a mother) will still affect the mental development of a person. Every minute spent without the care and love of parents leaves a trace of pain, fear, despair in the baby's soul.

Even if a newborn does not understand and does not remember, in the first minutes after birth it is vital for him to see his mother, to feel her warmth, to hear her voice, therefore, all babies born a couple of seconds ago are placed on their mother's chest (in some cases, children are put on his father's chest).

It is the mother's love, according to the psychologist E. Erickson, that in the first year of life forms a new mental formation - basic trust in the world... Without the ability to trust the world, an adult will not be able to be happy, he will experience great difficulties trying to build deep, long-term, trusting, intimate relationships.

Love Newborns need as much as air, water, food and shelter.

From the records of the traveler, Franciscan monk S. de Adam, it is known that the German king, who is also the emperor of the Holy Roman Empire, Frederick II (1194-1250), conducted a cruel and shocking experiment... Wanting to find out which language of all existing is the original, he ordered to take children from different parents and raise them in isolation.

The children were looked after by nannies, but they were with them at all did not talk or caress... The king thought that the children would speak in the same language that is common and original for all peoples, but not a single child spoke.

Children did not learn to speak, not because they did not hear speech, but because they simply did not live up to the age when they could start talking. The babies who were fed, bathed, provided all the conditions, but neither kissed, nor hugged, nor loved, died in infancy.

People who take children from an orphanage give them not only family and love, but also hope for a happy future. However, the upbringing of any child (whether he is native or adopted) is not easy. Love alone is not enough, you need to have patience, wisdom and the desire to understand a loved one, but still another, separate, with his own individuality and the right to freedom, a man.

Features of the personality of a child without a family

Both a preschooler, a schoolboy, and a teenager develop very quickly, each age period has its own characteristics, difficulties, and crisis stages. They are the same for all children, but the adopted child is certainly different from the one born in the family, at least during the adaptation period.

Children of any age who spent some time without a family, but found a new one, differ by the fact that:

• to some extent lag behind in their intellectual development from their peers,
• lack of initiative, not too curious, inactive,
• are uncommunicative, do not know how to communicate openly, avoid eye-to-eye contact during a conversation,
• "Fall out" of the contact, plunging themselves (while they can perform monotonous movements),
• fearful, the main fear is the anger of an adult, even such children smile through the fear of angering the guardian,
• are afraid to express themselves and often do not know what they want,
• they are afraid of expressions of love (hugs, strokes, kisses, even just the close presence of an adult nearby): they either do not allow themselves to be hugged and are angry, or they react indifferently and seem to “go limp” in the hands of an adult,
• pathologically obedient, afraid to refuse an adult and express their will,
• are prone to self-punishment, can scold themselves and even hit (if they were physically punished before),
• are malnourished or overeat, have trouble sleeping.

Some of these features are not due to the best living conditions of the child before admission to the family, but some are directly related to stress, which he is experiencing, getting used to a new family.

Stages of adaptation of an adopted child

In the course of life, a person has to adapt both to society as a whole and to various specific small and large social groups and to the immediate environment.

It cannot be said that orphanage children are completely unadapted to life in society. They are adapted, but to that special, non-family environment, in which they were previously, therefore they say that they are “non-family”. Children will have to get used to a foster family, learn new rules of behavior for themselves, and learn a lot.

Adaptation of the adopted child Is a socio-psychological adaptation. It represents a long process and also the final successful result interactions of the child's personality with the new family.

As a result of successful social and psychological adaptation, the child will learn the norms, rules, values, the way of life of the new family, he will adapt to it, become a part of it, but this will happen gradually.

Allocate three stages of adaptation of an adopted child:

1. "Honeymoon". This stage lasts from one month to six months and is characterized by a desire to please. The child is trying with all his might to seem the best parent, and they are trying to please him in everything.

Children with all their appearance and behavior show that they are good in a new family, behave with restraint and obedience, but at the same time they are experiencing tremendous stress.

At this stage, parents need not only to surround the child with care and affection, but also to explain to him how life works, how the rights and responsibilities of family members are distributed, what is the daily routine, and so on.

1. Regression or "return to the past." At this stage, the child recovers from both the pleasant shock and stress after falling into a new environment for him. And here the most difficult part begins - "grinding".

The kid has already managed to get acquainted with the situation in the house and with the new family enough to relax and begin to behave in the usual way. It is then that the child (and the parents) discovers that the old patterns of behavior are ineffective in the family, and in order to start behaving in a new way, you first need to get rid of old habits and strategies, and then learn new ones.

This is the most difficult time for both the child and the parents, the time of setting the boundaries and limits of what is permissible, clear rules, changing habits and lifestyle.

At this stage, all the problematic moments appear, fears return, the child can often get sick. Foster children often choose extremes: they either withdraw into themselves, or become overly active and even aggressive.

Foster parents are also not easy, they often break down and may even doubt the correctness of the decision to adopt a baby. Now, more than ever before and after, you need to be patient, attentive, caring, loving in relation to the child.

1. Recovery. This is the last stage of adaptation, when the child gets rid of his "armor", opens up, reciprocates. He begins to feel like a part of the family, begins to understand what it means to be someone else, becomes attached to the family, ceases to be afraid, begins to truly trust, understand his parents, and they understand him.

At this time, the child even outwardly changes, prettier and less sick.

At this stage, it is important for parents to get to know the child better, what are his characteristics, abilities, interests, inclinations and begin to develop his personality.

In total, the adaptation of an adopted child to a new family may take some years.

Signs of successful adaptation

If adaptation and especially its last stage (recovery) was successful, adopted child:

The difficult period of adaptation will pass sooner or later. No matter how difficult it is, it is still much better than what the child learned before he was adopted into the family.

The adopted baby will make up for everything that was missed by him, catch up with his peers in development, learn to willingly, and not out of fear, fulfill his duties, obey adults, from unsociable into a loving one, if he receives all the parental care, support and love he needs.

And, although psychologists do not groundlessly talk about the negative influence of such a phenomenon as overprotection on the forming personality of a child, there is no need to be afraid of "overlooking" a child, especially if he is adopted. There is never a lot of love for such children. They crave it, and when they receive it, they cannot "get enough" for a long time.

Do you think it is necessary to tell the child that he is adopted?

There are many changes in the life of children that need adaptation: moving to a new house or another city, kindergarten, a trip to grandmothers or on vacation with their parents. How can you help your baby and make the adaptation easy? Of course, all children are different, someone rejoices in new impressions, and someone treats them with caution, like my son Pasha.

- new place of residence

- different climate

- unfamiliar people in the environment.

Since my son is still a conservative (all in me) and does not like when something changes, but approached the process of getting used to in a new place systematically.

Easy adaptation:

1) Formation of correct expectations in the child.

Tell in advance where you are going, why and why, what you will do there, what will be interesting for the child. Ideally, if age allows, you can involve children in planning a vacation or trip, while children must be confronted with facts. In two weeks I began to tell Pasha that soon we would go to Montenegro. The first two days he insisted that he would not go anywhere, and I closed the topic. Then I started asking what Montenegro is and what we are going to do there. I asked clarifying questions that were important for him:

- Will there be a coffee maker? And what about the cooler?

- And what kind of car will we have there?

- Can I take the caps with me?

As a result, a week later I told myself when and where we were going, and got inspired.

If your child is easier on his feet, still warn him of the upcoming change a few days in advance, give him the opportunity to ask questions and discuss together what we will be different.

The relevant literature is helpful in this matter. We were going to the sea, so the last week we read stories about Seryozha, how he went to rest with his parents at the sea, how he swam and played. Flying an airplane for the first time? Read about the device of the airport, how suitcases will travel along the belt, and you will go through security. The experience of book characters will help the child not to get lost in a new place.

2) Saving the regime of the day.

In a child's normal day, there are pivot points, a sequence of actions to which he is accustomed. The rituals and repetitive events of the child are soothing and give a sense of control over life. Therefore, ideally, leave the mode unchanged. Let the walk be after breakfast, though not in the yard, but at the sea, but at the usual time. If the baby sleeps during the day, be sure to return to the hotel during this time to put him to bed. I managed to keep our regime, Pasha himself even reminded that it was time to sleep or go for a walk (“Let's eat and go?”).

3) Familiar things and objects.

Take something familiar and familiar from home: favorite toys, books that will create the feeling of being at home. This time Pasha himself chose what to take with him, and at first he played only with them. Even for a walk I took a lid from home to always have a kind of "island of tranquility" with me. Later, of course, I came up with games from scrap materials, but at first, household things were very useful. This also applies to food. We had a small kitchen, so I brought my favorite Nordic oatmeal with me so that Pasha would have his usual breakfast in the morning in a familiar setting. By the way, for 10 days he ate only one type of porridge for breakfast, and he did not get bored at all))

4) Calendar plan.

As soon as we arrived, there were endless questions about when we would go back. We felt like sadistic parents who took the child from Moscow and brought him to a warm country to the sea. After the 20th answer that we were leaving on September 15, I sat down and drew a plan for the day. It turned out two columns of squares, each square is a day. I signed the day of the month and the day of the week. I wrote when we were leaving, what events were or are expected (there was a strong hurricane, we will soon go to Buda). In the evening they crossed out the last day, looked at how much was left. You can call this plan a mini-advent. Questions about leaving stopped, Pasha was already talking to himself when we were going to Belgrade, and when to Moscow. In a few days, we no longer needed this plan, it fulfilled its main function.

5) Small steps.

If new conditions for your child are a way out of their comfort zone, then allow him to take small steps first. Go to the beach for the first time for a short time, take a walk not far from the hotel. We go to an event where there will be many strangers and children, let us sit on the sidelines for a start. It is very important not to force the child to participate in something, to shame for shyness, to demand activity. Thus, you can completely kill interest and desire to do something. I remember attachment theory, it is important for a child to feel safe. As soon as there is a feeling of stability, he himself will go to study a new place and the world in general. I see this principle very well on Pasha: first he looks around (preferably sitting on me), then he starts asking questions, gets off and leaves to play, after that you still can't get it 🙂 At the same time, I still push him out of the comfort zone into small small steps if you're sure it's worth it. For example, he resists and refuses to go with me to the large stones by the water. I can hardly persuade, after 5 minutes my son enthusiastically collects pebbles, rushes over the largest ones, throws small ones into the water. We are barely going home in an hour. So step by step, Pasha gradually got used to everything new and adapted.

6) Patience and patience again.

Especially if you have other plans 🙂 It takes a lot of patience to respect the child's right to adapt in a new place at his own pace. I was angry when my son replied to my proposal to go to the sea: “We will never go to the sea! We will always sit in the room. " Of course, he has an adaptation. But we didn't come to Montenegro to sit in a room. But irritation will not help matters, but patience and understanding of the child's condition - yes. The weather helped me: on the second day there was a hurricane wind, so the beach and long walks had to be canceled. We sat in the room and walked just next to the hotel, as the son wanted. The next day, he voluntarily went for a walk with us along the embankment.

All of these steps apply to any new situation, depending on the scale of the change: from starting kindergarten to going to the dentist. Tell us how your child is adapting and what are your ways to help cope with the change?

Even an adult is afraid to come to an unfamiliar team, especially a child. Uncertainty is always alarming, a kid or teenager will have to meet new people, atmosphere, rules of communication. It is good if relations with teachers and classmates are successful. And if not? It is very important to discuss with the child all possible options for the development of the situation, however, the emphasis should be placed only on the positive aspects, a positive attitude decides a lot. Surely in the former school there were unloved teachers, cocky classmates and conflict situations. Moving to a new class is a great chance to start from scratch.

“Whoever owns the situation owns the world,” said Rothschild, and he was right. It is necessary to learn as much as possible about the new place of study: about the color of the uniform, traditions, how holidays are celebrated, which the school leadership considers a priority in education and upbringing. Now each educational institution has its own website or even a page on social networks. This gives a chance to virtually get acquainted with the teaching staff, and maybe even start correspondence with students. Virtual acquaintances are easier for many people.

Olga Nikolaeva

Child psychologist

“The change of school or class should take place in September. This is the time when all children have to get used to the school rhythm. It will be easier for a beginner to join the educational process. "

A few weeks before classes, you can go with your child to a new school, find out the location of the classrooms, the dining room, the toilet, and meet the teachers. In this case, the adaptation of the child to the new class will be easier. It is imperative to discuss the topic of transition to a new class with children at home, this is not an ordinary, everyday event, but a global change in the child's life. It is better to find as many advantages of the transition to a new class as possible, to interest, to see the prospects. It is very important to listen to the baby or teenager, to find out his fears and experiences. You should teach the child to be himself, and ignore stupid jokes. Feeling the confidence and positive attitude of the parents, the child will easily cope with the prevailing circumstances.

First impression

The first weeks in a new team are the most difficult, children with already established relationships in the class, as a rule, are hostile towards the newcomer. Therefore, parental support for a child in the first days in a new class is necessary, like air.

Natalia Komarova

School psychologist

“How easily a child will fit into a new team depends on his character. Some children easily make contact, the process of acquaintance arouses their interest. In this case, communication problems in the classroom are rare. Shy, timid, or anxious children will take a long time to get used to the new school. ”

In this case, it will be useful to confidentially talk with the teachers or with the class teacher, talk about the difficulties that the child may have, about his character traits.

In the very first days, the child will have to learn and understand the traditions of the new class, its hierarchy and find his place. This is a very difficult task, the child must understand that he will have to take the first steps in acquaintance himself. The main thing is to start a dialogue: you can ask how to get to the dining room, or find out where the history office is. In no case should you walk with a frowning, wary face, because friendship begins with a smile. It is very important to leave a pleasant impression about yourself in the first days of study, because sociable people with a sense of humor are liked by everyone. However, making fun of teachers or classmates is a big mistake, a calm, benevolent person interested in communication, in most cases, causes only positive emotions.

Problems and solutions

Problems still arise in the new class. The first thing a child may encounter is the desire of an already established team to give a newcomer a low status, while it is important for a child to remain the same personality that he used to be in the previous class. The best way to gain the trust of others is to show a good attitude towards them, but you should not impose your friendship on anyone.

If the child is in primary school, you can advise him to make friends with a neighbor at the desk or find a soul mate: communication of interests often turns into friendship for many years. Parents should definitely attend their first school meeting and meet a few moms. Positive communication between adults will help the child better adapt to the new place. Boys need to understand that fists are not the solution. Relationships are best built on respect, not fear. Of course, if we are not talking about self-defense. Unfortunately, it also happens that the child begins to "spread rot". Of course, this is the problem of the teacher, he must unite the children and teach them to play with each other. However, it is up to the parents to solve this problem.

Anna Khnykina

Family psychologist

“You can go to all the teachers, get to know each other, explain the situation: you don’t complain, you don’t come to control, but cooperate. Ask to observe the situation at recess. And come back in a week. Organizing class events on your premises - at home or in a cafe, it doesn't matter - can work against bullying. To do this, you need to call all parents, kindly explain the situation and ask for support. "

Content

Often, parents already think in advance about which school to send their children to when they grow up. Where they study foreign languages ​​already in the second grade, or where graduates all as one enter prestigious educational institutions? Many parents worry that their child will be bullied at the new school.

Adaptation of the child at school

It is clear that school is not only a place where children learn. It is also a place where children communicate with the same people for ten years. It is at school that the child gains his basic communication experience, on the basis of which he will draw certain conclusions about the structure of the world and relations with other people, as well as about what others expect from him. If a school teaches that a child should not be different from those around him, otherwise he will become the object of ridicule, that showing his vulnerability and trust in people can be dangerous, then why such a school is needed at all. One psychologist recounted an incident in his school practice: walking down the corridor during recess, he sees four eighth-graders beating their bald classmate in the corner. Approaching this group from behind, and taking the nearest by the collar, he sternly barked: "What is this going on?" just the bell rang and the boys went to class. After that, a serious conversation took place, but not with the students: the victims and the attackers, but with the teachers. Until the psychologist intervened in what was happening, two teachers walked past, turning away from what was happening and pretending that they had not noticed anything. Nobody intervened. What did they answer in their defense? That "this is natural", "the boy needs to be able to stand up for himself", "the children are so cruel." Well at least they didn't say that he was to blame. And if it was not a bald boy, but, for example, a fat or smart girl? If a child stands out with something that he is able to change, then teachers in such a school would say that the person who is offended, beaten, teased, spread gossip and nasty things about him, declare a boycott, ridicule him, “it is his own fault”. No need to run up.

Grassing at school: early bullying

Several myths about school bullying have to be debunked. Because we are not just talking about "outcasts". When we talk about “rogue children,” we confirm that they are the problem. Bullying in school is the self-affirmation of a group of people or one person at the expense of constantly humiliating another. In recent years, foreign psychologists have begun to delve into the problem of school bullying. The problem of "bullying" in the army, "dropping" in the zone, mobbing at work - these are different manifestations of bullying.

The first myth... Bullying is a very normal part of growing up.

Research shows that violence and humiliation from classmates in school are just as dangerous as other forms of force. Violence cannot be “normal”. If someone thinks bullying is the norm, then they deprive the victim of support and indulge the abuser. A survey of many schoolchildren showed that they themselves have an extremely negative attitude towards bullying and want this problem to be somehow solved.

The second myth. Teachers always know who is the abuser and who is the victim.

Teachers, as a rule, pay attention only to obvious manifestations of bullying, gross physical pressure. The one who decided to show rough aggression is to blame. But, attention is not focused on how the victim provoked his abuser. Offenders are often cunning and resourceful, they can make others punish instead.

The third myth. There are children who will be bullied anyway, regardless of social group.

Apparently, this is the way it is, it justifies the inaction of adults and sets a very bad example. Bullying is a power imbalance that a child cannot deal with alone. Bullying will thrive where adults ignore what the majority exclude and reject those who are different from them. This is xenophobia.

The fourth myth. Bullying occurs in every social group.

Bullying takes place only when people were forced to be in the same group, without taking into account their individuality and interests, the union took place on an insignificant basis, such as the year of birth, and deprived of the opportunity to independently choose a group. Many victims of bullying remember their school years as a prison or a captivity. In a school with a democratic system of government and specialized classes, bullying is practically absent. Sometimes, a child, unable to withstand the bullying, may break down. From time to time, all the media mention stories that someone committed suicide, brought weapons to school, and mutilated classmates. Such stories are almost one hundred percent outcome of bullying: the victim cannot stand it and decides to get even with the offenders. Some can only kill themselves.

The fifth myth. Bullying occurs because the child is different from those around him.

Any child is always something different from the rest. And he can become a victim of bullying. Bullying takes place because some children or even adults believe that it is completely normal to assert themselves in this way. One such person, active enough, will be enough for school to provide a “fun” life for those around him.

Sixth myth... There are two sides to bullying: the offender and the victim.

Anyone who knows about it will participate in a bullying situation. Indeed, in addition to the victim and the attacker, there are witnesses who are affected by the bullying in a slightly different way, but not at all less than the victim. But nobody tries to ignore this, and the experience of witnessing in bullying affects people, although they do not realize it. It remains only to be amazed that the screams for help under the windows of the house leave everyone indifferent, because it does not concern them.

Both the victim and the abuser are aware of the presence of witnesses who behave in different ways: they can join the abuser, intercede for the victim, or simply remain neutral. The latter position is the most common. Witnesses who simply watch a person being bullied are the best support group for the bully, and bullying victims despise neutral witnesses more than the offenders themselves, since they observe the victim's powerlessness and cannot do anything. In her opinion, such people should be feared, because you do not know when they can stab you in the back.

The seventh myth. “Benefit”: The experience of bullying is a life lesson.

If adults believe that life in the modern world needs to become stale and hardened, then bullying will be a great lesson.
From experience, most of us do just that. But along with this, people lose some values: trust, their own individuality, the ability to intimate relationships. All these qualities are hidden behind a protective mask, which a person does not remove in the conditions of modern, cruel life.

People who were bullied at school will be able to survive all its consequences, such as anger, callousness, distrust, isolation, only if they find themselves in another society that will allow them to show their individuality, where cooperation will be valued more than competition. Such a society will gradually "thaw out", but, as a rule, people who have been persecuted cannot find such a society on their own, they need help.

Transfer to another school

Transferring to a new school is always stressful for a child, but sometimes there is simply no other way out. At first, in the new school, the child will feel uncomfortable. To make social adaptation as easy as possible, a number of conditions must be met:

For the first time studying in a new school, it is necessary to lower the child's level of requirements. The pressure in the new school is already high: getting used to new children, teachers, their requirements, joining a new team. Not infrequently, during this period, the child's academic performance decreases, and his behavior changes for the worse. Additional pressure from parents increases the period of adaptation to the new school. The primary task of parents is to support the child in this difficult period of life.

It can take a long time for a child to get used to a new school; it is not instantaneous, no matter how sociable your child is. The other setting will disorient him in any case. There is no need to speed things up, the main thing is your support and participation.

Changing the place of study is in most cases stressful, the adaptation period can take about two months, and sometimes more. Therefore, in this difficult psycho-emotional period, the support of the parents is important.

The most important thing that parents can do during the period of adaptation of schoolchildren is to give the child a sense of confidence that the parents are ready to support him, and that he can turn to them with any question if he has any difficulties, ”notes the methodologist-psychologist of the LANIT Group of Companies Education ”Olga Bogaenko.

Report as much information as possible

The most terrible and exciting thing is, as a rule, the unknown. Therefore, the more information about a new place, the better. When a specialist gets a new job, he tries to learn more about the company in which he will work. By the same principle, parents choose a school for their child, trying to find out what the program is, whether the teachers are good, what they feed in the canteen.

“The feeling of anxiety appears when there is a lot of unknown information. To reduce this anxiety, it is important for the child to receive practical information about the new school: how it looks like, how many lessons there will be each day, etc. You can take a tour of the school grounds, check out the school's website. Help your child understand the school rules and responsibilities: why each of them is needed and why it is important to follow them, ”advises Bogaenko.

My home is my castle

“The weather at home”, oddly enough, is also very important, psychological comfort in the family will help to survive the adaptation period in the new school. In a difficult period of adaptation to school, the child needs increased attention - the parent must become his real friend, because in the new school the child will not immediately have friends, says Polina Leonova, an educational psychologist working with preschoolers at the Aristotle Educational Center.

“No matter how strictly the teachers treat the child, at home he should receive support, be able to relax and have a rest. Parents need to communicate a lot with their child, take an interest in the problems, conflicts and difficulties of their child, look for ways to solve them together, ”says the specialist.

She urges not to press and not demand quick success from the child in the new school. In addition, it is important not to compare him with other children, while the child should be correctly and adequately praised for his personal clear successes.

“It is more difficult for a child to adapt to a new school if this event is associated with changes, such as moving to another city, divorce of parents, death of a loved one. It is necessary to support the child in his desire to communicate with old friends, invite a friend to visit or communicate via the Internet, ”added Bogaenko.

Play school

In fact, seeing off to school, which is often done in older kindergartens, is a pretty good idea. Koneeva recommends holding a conversation with the child about the fact that studying at school is a very important stage in the life of every person, and the choice of profession will depend on what knowledge he receives. You can also play with your child the game "School", in which he must visit in the role of teacher and student.

Such a "game" can be relevant for adolescents, who often have difficulties in "recognition" in a new team. Psychologists suggest replaying and discussing various situations that may arise in the classroom so that the child does not have a fear of social contact.

Well, if a child is afraid and does not want to go to a new school, parents need to understand what his fears are connected with: fear of being rejected by the class, fear of new teachers, shyness and difficulty in establishing contact with peers.

“In order to minimize such anxieties, you can play in advance with the child various situations that may await him on the first day. Talk to your child about how they can make an acquaintance, what to say, and how to react. Tell us about your experience of joining a new team, about the fears and experiences you experienced, and how you yourself coped with this situation, ”advises Bogaenko.

Create a positive attitude

Positive memories of school, told by parents, will help relieve stress, you can arrange a small holiday on the eve of September 1, even give your child something symbolic for good luck.

“It is very important not to infect your child with your anxiety in front of school. Remember, the jitters of the parent are subconsciously caught and transmitted, especially to the baby. Tell your child only the positive aspects of school, charge him with joy and bright memories, ”Leonova is sure.

After the first visit to school, you should definitely ask your child about how his first day went, who he made friends with, what good things happened to him. Experts also recommend that parents participate in school life, be interested in what is happening at school, and communicate with teachers.

“The day before, help your child get ready for school so that there are no awkward moments due to forgotten things. On the first day, wake the child up early so that he has enough time to wash, get dressed, and have a quiet breakfast. Do not dress your child too bright and unusual, as this will draw too close attention to himself. You can find out in advance which form of clothing is the most popular in the new class, ”notes Bogayenko.

Provide informal communication outside of school

Leonova is sure that parents should also stimulate the student's passions. Additional activities, circles and sections will help to cope with the longing for the old school and draw the child's attention to the new one.

“It will be especially great if such additional classes are held in the newest school, it will also help to quickly join the new team and not become a black sheep,” she said.

It is also important to encourage your child to interact with peers. For example, you can organize an informal event outside of school with classmates: tea at home, going to the cinema, excursion. In such conditions, it will be easier to make friends and feel more confident in the team.