Here is my daughter. In second grade. Not persevering. Last year I wanted to play the piano. They explained that it was difficult, that they would have to study a lot. She said, of course, what would happen. Okay, I passed the entrance exams to the music school. Has been running since September. Solfeggio turns out, the specialty goes badly - because he is lazy to study. He does not play every day, and if he does, then a little. He says I don’t want to, it’s not working. All stupid: sheet music, instrument, teacher. If I do not start to insist, he will not sit at the instrument at all. So I understand that this is not the case. Since such an attitude, then it is necessary to abandon the music and that's it. But, damn it, I am so offended for the purchased instrument, during my time, that I spent the whole year - I took it there three times a week. And in general, well, how so - it does not work, just paws up and that's it, don't even try to achieve a result. I understand that you need to come to terms and that's it, but it's very hard for me. And the most offensive thing is that this is not only about music, but about everything - he does not want to make any efforts at all.

131

Given: me, husband, son 7 years old and youngest daughter 2 years old.
My son is periodically tormented by jealousy, I try to fight.
But: when my son was sent to kindergarten, (2 years), being a stupid chicken for 25 years, I convinced him that you can't fight.
The reason was - he began to fight with his friend, our neighbor. Mom, being my good friend, threatened me with complaints from the manager, etc.

I was scared; there was no serious fight, but it was the complaints that scared me.

Today's story. We are visiting friends, they also have an older boy of 9 years old, and suddenly we hear our son crying bitterly, and a demand for the elder to apologize!
By the way, my son goes to fight, I realized my mistake, I persuade him to fight back.
But along the way, the son grew up as a tear washer.
Husband pecked already. How to fix the situation ...

194

To all good day) The son is 11 years old (grade 5). Starting somewhere from the 4th grade, the guys began to form groups of people who are friends with whom. My son says that he is friends with everyone, that he is all friends. But the best friend was one, they went to visit each other, walked, they sit together in the class. But lately, she began to notice that mine began to go home immediately after school, and before that I was eager to go for a walk and was late for training because of walking with a friend. Today I asked why this is so - it turned out that a friend is now walking with the girl, and they ask mine not to interfere, they say they have personal communication. I see that my son is offended and annoyed. I don't know what to advise him. The problem is that I myself do not know how to be friends. The school was best friend, but she threw me ugly, I was very worried. I don't want to hang on my son my lame experience in this area. I want him to have Good friends... Please advise, especially those who have not had problems with communication and friendship. I don't want to give my child advice from my loser perspective (not only my school friends, almost all my friends threw me at different periods of my life).

49

Honestly. I sometimes feel like I'm a chronic loser. You try, flounder, but it turns out, as always. The middle son is going to school this year. The application was written by the first, the first passed on the prescription. I was at the meeting, I went to school for first-graders, I chose a teacher, I visited the secretariat a hundred times. And today there is a call - you have not brought the documents, the classes have been formed and your child does not get in. AS? How can this be? And most importantly, I can't scream that I brought the documents. Having three children, I always carry photocopies somewhere. I just don't remember taking the necessary photocopies to school. But I know for sure, if I had been told about them, I would have pinned them right away. Tomorrow I'll go and figure it out. What if we don't get there? What if you can't do anything? The eldest in the second grade of this school. This is for me to run around for different reasons, and even before the heap of the third in the garden. I'll conquer right now. Well, why am I so lucky?

123

Probably the most important function of parents is raising children. Different age categories have their own characteristics. How to carry out education 10 year old boy so that in later life he will behave with dignity and become a real man. Naturally, a lot of effort and care should be invested in the upbringing process so that there is an effective result.

How to raise a 10-year-old boy?

Education begins at the birth of a child. Parents should always remember that their child is a person. The formation of character occurs from the first steps, and not only character, but also interests, needs. Any age category has its own needs that require constant attention.

The age of ten becomes difficult for a child. At this time, the maturation of sexual processes begins, which affect the work of the whole organism. The child can be nervous, show aggression. Self-affirmation helps prevent aggression. Therefore, parents are obliged to show maximum efforts for its development.

Sport. At this age, the guys have a very high physical activity... Exercising will help satisfy her. The boy needs to be enrolled in sport sections where he can prove himself.

Dad. At the age of ten, boys turn to their dads more. They are interested in what they are doing and are trying to help. You don't need to push your son away, but on the contrary, you need to interest him. The boy will follow his father's example. Therefore, during upbringing it is required to adhere to the "golden mean": not to accept the methods of tyranny and not to be too soft.

It is necessary to bring up a 10-year-old boy on a demonstrative basis and do not forget to involve the child in this process.

Emotions. The child should be taught to sympathy, respect. Here mothers can show their capabilities. For example, on the way home, ask your child to help carry a bag. Sometimes it is possible to create situations in which the son is obliged to show pity.

Family atmosphere. Relations between parents have a great influence on the upbringing of children. Children quietly observe what is happening in the family circle. As a result, they form their own relationship with the opposite sex.

Praise. The big disadvantage is that the parents of boys praise much less than girls. It is believed that he will grow up more masculine. But praise stimulates a child to do something new. You don't need to forget about it.

In some situations, parents are required to apologize to their children. It is necessary to justify your actions in front of the child, not to scold, but to advise how to act in this situation. Approval and support are the main needs of this age.

How to raise a 10-year-old boy properly? It will be right if both father and mother participate in the upbringing. Raising children for 10 years requires a lot of endurance and patience. Parents by any means should not lose the relationship with the child that had developed before this time.

A child's ten years of age affects the physiological and psychological process. The psychology of upbringing a 10-year-old boy is to perceive himself as an individual. Many children at this age have low self-esteem. Parents need help here. It consists in daily communication.

Guys of this age strive to be similar to each other. This is the main psychological contradiction. The boys' affirmation is revealed in their friendship with older children.

The behavior of a 10-year-old child depends on two needs:

• communication. Communication should take on a non-business character, rather a friendly one;
• self-affirmation. For boys, this is more of a technical activity.

Each child asserts himself in accordance with the behavior of the environment. For this period, successful socialization is the main thing.

no need to get annoyed in a relationship with your son;

learn to forgive. There is no need to constantly punish the child. It is bad for the psyche.

In order for the upbringing of a 10-year-old boy to be correct, it is necessary not only to observe what changes occur in the behavior of his son, but also to accept in every possible way Active participation in all processes.

Raising children is a responsible and difficult process for both parents and children. A child is a person who is constantly changing. Learn to adapt to the guys, to observe the atmosphere of kindness.

The development of a child at the age of 10 is characterized by rapid psychophysical changes. The child becomes more mature, he develops his own habits, tastes and character traits. In many children, at the age of 10, the first signs of transitional age are observed, which are expressed in mood variability, detachment from parents, disobedience, etc.

At the same time, 10 years of age is characterized by active physical growth.

Physiology of a 10 year old child

The physical development of children at the age of 10 is very diverse. Some children at this age already have signs of puberty, which are accompanied by active growth, while other children practically do not differ from babies 8-9 years old. Be that as it may, the average standards indicate that at the age of 10, girls should weigh from 28 to 35 kilograms, and boys - from 28.5 to 36 kilograms. As for growth, the norms of girls range from 135-143 centimeters, and the norms of boys range from 126-136 centimeters.

The development of children at the age of 10 already varies by gender. Right now, girls are starting to develop faster both physically and psychologically. Many young ladies at this age begin to worry about their appearance, because puberty is often accompanied by weight gain, the appearance acne, excessive oily hair and skin. It is important to explain to the girl that puberty is an intermediate stage, after which she will turn into a real beauty. In addition, now you need to tell the girl about menstruation, so that by the time it starts, she is psychologically ready.

Psychology of a 10-year-old child

A child at the age of 10 is going through a huge psychological crisis. On the one hand, the student no longer feels like a child, but on the other hand, he has not yet matured to such an extent that he can make decisions on his own and take care of himself.

The development of children at the age of 10 undergoes many psychological changes. Almost every child at this age is actively fighting for their "place in the sun", seeking respect among their peers. Some children declare themselves with the help of disobedience and rebellion, others surprise their peers with unusual talents, and still others demonstratively study only excellently. At this age, children often conflict with each other, competing for authority. In such situations, parents need to delicately understand the cause of the conflict, but at the same time allow the child to independently solve his "adult" problems.

Many 10-year-olds are beginning to gradually distance themselves from their parents, preferring to spend time with friends. This trend, of course, upsets moms and dads, but you need to understand that the child is growing and needs a personal psychological space.

It is very important that the child has friends and hobbies, because communication and hobbies help fight psychological problems.

According to experts, the "foundation" of the personality is laid in a child under 10 years of age. After the transition of this trait, the upbringing of parents has a character that develops those aspects that have already been formed in their child. According to psychologists, the age from 9 to 12 years is considered prepubertal. The character of children changes somewhat and has its own distinctive features... Responsible parents should know all these nuances so that the so-called "imitation educational process"When mom and dad leave the child alone with themselves (including cartoons for him, allowing him to spend time at the computer endlessly, and so on). It is this stage in the life of a little person that determines the direction of his development. For good or bad, it depends on the father and mother. The further course must be determined. The child requires increased attention.

Children in 9-10 years old switch to new stage development

9 - 10 years - the beginning of the prepubertal period

Prepubertal, basically, passes for both parents calmly in equal shares. The child is still compliant, compliant. However, at this very moment, the mechanism of moving the child away from the family is triggered. Peers are becoming more and more authoritative, the child joins a certain group of children (be they leaders, outsiders, informals, athletes, and so on).

The influence of parents is dripping away. At the age of 9 - 10 years, a boy or girl goes through a path during which they turn into adolescents - difficult, nervous, restless children.

Communication with peers comes to the fore

The child loses the ability to fully control his emotions. This critical age is the basis of what a child will be like in later life. The base has already been laid earlier, before the age of 9. But, the direction that will be chosen in this period is decisive.

Development of children 9 - 10 years old

As a rule, children of this age are quite erudite, inquisitive, have a sense of humor, love spending time in large companies of their age, easily make acquaintances and find a common language with others, they are fluent fine motor skills(the child writes and draws well), are responsible in household chores (willingly perform household tasks, are inclined to maintain cleanliness and order on their own). At this age, children are truly exemplary. Both boy and girl are equally diligent.

School success becomes very important

Features of the educational process

Earlier it was agreed that at this age the authority of the family circle gradually decreases. Come to the fore interpersonal relationships in the circle of peers.

At this moment, it is important for parents to maintain the self-esteem of their child and in every possible way to give self-confidence, to note his uniqueness and individuality. This position has nothing to do with unreasonable encouragement of any child's actions. The mother and father should praise the child for his useful, good actions. Parents need to find the strengths of the child, mark them in him. Both the father and the mother must equally actively engage in the upbringing of the child.

Mom's support is more important for daughter.

This support contributes to several positive trends:

• the child feels more comfortable in society;
• it is easier for him to withstand fights with external pressure;
• the child is full of enthusiasm and self-confidence, which means that his successes are multiplied;
• the connection with the family is not lost: the boy or girl understands that the parents are his / her friends, his / her reliable rear;
• the level of trust between family members increases, parents will always be aware of the child's events, thereby, they can adjust the course of events and warn Negative consequences different situations.

Children of this age try in every possible way to merge with their peers: in terms of external parameters, sphere of interests, demeanor. If the father and / or mother are trying to restrict the freedom of choice of a 9-10 year old child, the child will be hostile to such attempts. Therefore, it is so important to give that freedom, that breath of independence and independence, which will allow the child to feel almost like an adult, he must give him wings. Elementary, by entrusting the child with some responsibilities around the house (self-cleaning their room, washing dishes or watering flowers on time), parents will get a return. The child will be sincerely grateful for such trust and will try in every possible way to meet expectations, since he was given the opportunity to be equal in the family circle.

Father's support is the main thing for a boy of 9-10 years old

There is one important nuance: you cannot set a time frame and constantly remind or, even worse, reproach a child for untimely or improper performance of his duties.

Such comments can completely discourage desire and lower self-esteem.

In this age segment, children pay great attention to their academic performance. They worry about their studies, competition between students is increasing. The junior grades are already over, the workload is increasing. Parents should pay special attention to this point.

It is necessary to communicate more often with teachers, help the child with lessons.

Children's pranks at this age are not harmful.

And, perhaps, the last aspect is the peculiarities of the educational process in unfavorable situations when the child is playing pranks. In the prepubertal age, small pranks are characteristic that do not bring significant harm to others. Most often, youngsters like to climb fences, trees, run in the park without a break. Even if a dirty trick has occurred (for example, hooligan calls at the door or something else was done by a child), then you should not scold the child. Even if his upbringing is condemned by strangers. It is necessary to maintain a trusting relationship with him. The best way out of the situation is to give an active splash to the youngster through games in which as many people as possible will be involved (searching for a treasure in the garden, for example). Boys are best introduced to some kind of sport.

Sex education

And let the parents not think that 9-10 years is still too early to explain the nuances of sexual life to the child. In modern, progressive times of technology and the Internet, children receive most of the information from there. Parents cannot track the quality of this information. In the vastness of the world wide web there is a lot of "slag" that distorts reality and is able to grow from healthy child a degrading individual, in which there is practically no education at all. Therefore, it is better to tell your son and / or daughter in normal language about what sex is. At this age, the child will adequately perceive all the information (if it is presented correctly).

Sex education is a parent's job

It is important for parents to keep the conversation serious without making the topic funny.

The boy and / or daughter should clearly understand what it is and what consequences can occur with a premature onset of sexual activity. Sex education today is an integral part of the education program itself as a whole. Girls need to explain what menstruation is, how to behave on the first day. Boys need information on wet dreams.

You can't let sex education go by itself - the Internet will teach you too much

Culture of behavior

9-10 years is the age when the child is still pliable and can unquestioningly accept parental instructions. One should not miss the chance to develop good manners in a small person, to be able to behave in society. Upbringing, behavior in society is a person's business card. It would be nice to teach the child the rules of etiquette (at the table, in public places). It is no more difficult to teach boys to do this than to girls. This includes clarifications about the dangers of nicotine, alcohol and drugs. Promoting a healthy lifestyle for a child from childhood (or even better - showing and proving this by his own example), it is highly likely that he will adhere to it. At the age of 9 - 10, children are very persistent and purposeful, therefore, if they have convinced themselves that drinking and smoking is bad, it means that they are unlikely to go against their beliefs in the future. The child will learn for himself useful tips, the psychology of children of this age is just that.

Good manners should be instilled in parents from childhood.

Preparing for life

At the indicated age (9 - 10 years old), children already possess the basic skills of handling household appliances, are introduced to the course of household chores. It is necessary to expand this area. Dangerous household appliances (gas stoves, water heaters, appliances with a high Watt rating) deserve special attention. Safety rules must be presented to the child without fail. Also, you need to explain the rules of conduct in case of emergency (where to call, what further actions to take). So, in the offspring, the basis of responsibility and a sense of duty is laid, thereby, the child becomes responsible and serious.

Useful advice for parents: the psychology of the child is such that perception requires serious conversations on this topic at this age.

At this age, children should be involved in household chores.

There is no need to be like the presentation in the form of a game, which is offered in books. The child must understand the seriousness and danger of some household items.

Problematic moments

In prepubertal age, boys and girls may experience certain critical moments that are characteristic of children of this particular age. These include:

• low self-esteem;
• shyness;
• excessive imitation of idols.

Such problems can turn into a serious array of confusion. All three symptoms are closely related. They say that the child does not believe in himself, does not love himself. He refuses public speaking, reluctantly goes to school, does not want to contact others, is in a nervous state. Shyness manifests itself when meeting with peers, adults.

Leisure at 9-10 years old should be controlled by parents

The child refuses to share his thoughts, talk about what worries. In such situations, it is necessary to instill confidence in the baby and give the moral support that is so necessary for him. A boy may doubt his physical abilities and strength, and girls may have complexes because of their appearance. You can work on his image, style, take care of the little things appearance, eliminate possible barriers when communicating with others ( bad smell mouth, untidy clothes). Either parent must be able to find the right approach and the child will return to normal life.

Advice for parents: a child needs approval of his actions, an assessment of his appearance, and recognition in society.

He needs praise and, at the same time, an objective look at himself.
Prepubertal age is not difficult compared to puberty. Although there are some nuances and minor difficulties, they are quite solvable. At this stage in the life of boys and girls, the main task of parents is to correctly guide the offspring into the adult life of society, so that he can adapt.

Your son is gradually growing up: externally and internally. You barely keep up with what is happening to him. A lot is changing: from clothes and habits to outlook and attitudes towards girls.

The difficult teenage stage is inherent in nature, it cannot be avoided. Someone has it earlier, someone else later, but on average, boys begin to turn from a child into a man precisely at the age of 11-12 years.

Believe me, your son is not easy right now. Unstable mental processes and new views on the world... If you understand what is happening in your son's body and can explain it to him, then this stage will be passed a little easier.

Let's start with physiological changes.

What happens in the body of adolescents at the age of 11-12

The cardiovascular system. The heart of a teenager increases significantly, this is due to the growth of the heart muscle ─ myocardium. The heart volume of a 10-year-old boy is 130 cc, and that of a 13-year-old is already 443 cc. At the same time, blood vessels grow more slowly and the heart needs to make more efforts so that the body does not suffer from a lack of oxygen. The load on the heart increases and pains may appear in it.

Respiratory system. The volume of the lungs also increases. But it is not yet possible to use all the oxygen received, so the brain lacks proper nutrition, which leads to headaches. The larynx begins to grow and the voice changes.

Musculoskeletal system. The tubular bones of the arms and legs and the vertebrae grow rapidly. In this case, the spine remains very mobile, the probability of its curvature is high. Large muscles grow faster than small ones, so it is difficult for a boy to work with small objects, he gets tired quickly. Teenagers aged 11-12 look disproportionate: Long hands and legs, big feet.

Leather. The changes that occur in the boy's body lead to the fact that the sebaceous glands begin to work more actively and irritations, rashes and pustules appear on the skin.

Nervous system. The brain begins to develop actively, especially the anterior regions of both hemispheres. The teenager begins to sharply respond to all the comments that are directed at him. Excitement prevails over inhibition, so adolescents are unbalanced, their mood often changes.

The work of the autonomic nervous system, which connects the spinal cord and brain with internal organs, is also not fully balanced. Blood vessels are poorly filled with blood, pulse and respiration become more frequent, the brain lacks oxygen, dizziness and weakness appear. Vegetovascular dystonia is a frequent companion of adolescents.

Endocrine system. In boys aged 11-12, the thyroid gland begins to actively grow, which is responsible for the energy balance in the body. The sex glands also develop, and the amount of testosterone in the boys' blood increases.

About the effect of testosterone on the body of a man in general and a teenager in particular, see the video excerpt from the webinar "10 important secrets that mothers should know about boys."

Behavior of boys in adolescence

Internal changes have a profound effect on the behavior of boys.

• become very emotional, even those who used to be calm. All this is accompanied by mood swings: in one minute, violent joy can be replaced by strong sadness;
• seek "thrill" and take great risks;
• begin to pay attention to girls and want to please them;
• begin to consciously choose clothes and take care of their skin;
• react painfully to comments and violently express disagreement;
• they do not finish what they have begun, and sometimes they do not start what they said;
• get tired quickly;
• become irritable;
• can do something vigorously, and after a couple of minutes fall on the bed exhausted.

Relations with girls at this age are difficult to build, one of the reasons is that it is at the age of 11-12 that girls are larger and stronger than boys. This affects the self-esteem of the guys.

Our free book "" will help you understand and cope with your son's emotions.

In general, if you look from the outside at what a teenager wants to be and what he really is, then these are almost two parallel worlds. Inside, the boy is strong, handsome, the girls like him and he succeeds. Outside, it is still awkward, disproportionate and with a changing voice.

Which boys have more pronounced behavioral changes between the ages of 11 and 12?

The appearance of changes in the behavior and health of the boy for him and those around him will also depend on what kind of life he led in childhood and leads in adolescence.

Guys who move a lot, go in for sports and generally lead an active lifestyle can more easily endure the difficulties of adolescence. Physically, they develop more harmoniously and they have where to throw out excess energy, and sometimes aggression.

Such active boys make parents and other adults “nervous” even before the transitional age, so their behavior change at the age of 11-12 is not so noticeable.

Boys who are constantly at home, have little exercise and may suffer from excess weight, much more difficult. Their changes in health and behavior are more pronounced.

Adults who are used to calm child, it can be difficult to readjust too.

For parents who want to understand their children, and especially for mothers who want their sons to maximize their potential for courage, we have created a special training.

Remember: “Forewarned is forearmed”? The useful knowledge and practice that you will receive at the training will be a support, a foundation for helping your son to pass this difficult age with dignity, calmly and confidently.

This course only about boys, features of their physiology and worldview. During the training you will learn:

• how to understand and predict the behavior of your teenager in certain cases;
• about when to let go of the situation, and when, on the contrary, to take control;
• how not to turn into a “swan, cancer and a pike” in a mum-dad-son bundle;
• how your fears can poison your son's life.

The training will begin on March 29 and will last 1.5 months. Details of the training program and conditions of participation.

Teenage years also called transitional - transitional to adulthood and responsibility. This stage is difficult for both the boy and the parents. To help your son, you need to listen to him, understand, accept the changes that are happening to him. You can't make fun of his appearance and relationships with girls.

A question for girls' mothers ─ is an article about physiological and behavioral changes in adolescent girls needed?