I often work night shifts, so I take food with me. More precisely, I take what my wife prepares and collects in her bag. Once, tired, I decided to have a snack. I take out the package and look forward to what my beloved has prepared this time. I looked, and there was a little note with cute words about love. In the morning I returned home and put the reply note in her coat pocket. Now it is our tradition - we exchange messages with my wife. I read at work and am happy as a schoolboy, my soul becomes warmer.

I am on maternity leave, and my husband is constantly working. He gets up early, comes in the evening and almost collapses. Usually in the morning I get up with him, prepare breakfast and accompany him to work. Today I wake up, but my husband is not there. I look at the time - 10 hours. I am angry that I slept and did not see him off. I go into the kitchen: the plates are washed, everything is neatly laid out, the table is cleared. On the table is a bouquet of flowers and my favorite cookies, and next to it is a note: “Your mother’s work is more important than mine. Kiss you". I could hardly hold back my tears.
Winter, everywhere snow, ice - terribly slippery. I recently underwent back surgery and am now very afraid of falling. I walk with steps like a penguin. And from work home you have to walk across the bridge, from which you need to go down the steps. And now, after another working day, I walk on the ice, thinking with horror about the upcoming icy steep steps. I go up to the stairs and see how my boyfriend, flushed in the cold, cleans the last steps from the ice. If not this true love then what?

We parted ways with the first guy, because after a shift at work I did not cook a 3-course dinner. She left the second one a week before the wedding, because she did not help his mother with strawberries. He didn't care that I was terribly allergic to this berry. Recently they began to live with a friend of their youth, it was about the wedding. Sometimes I come after 10 pm from work. The house is clean, dinner is hot, he makes tea. And no matter how lazy I am, I want to cook 3 dishes for him and go to his parents for potatoes.

I have jet black hair and very pale skin, if I paint my eyes brightly, then I look like a real witch. I rode in the subway, an old woman comes in, looks at me and begins to cross herself. I decided to joke, began to pretend that I was doing magic, and began to make magical movements with my hands. The boy who was sitting next to him cut through the chip and began to shake, roll his eyes, saying that he felt that something was moving into him, the grandmother was in shock, I could hardly hold back my laughter, the people in the carriage were choking with laughter. At my station, a boy ran after me. They have been married for 5 years, at the wedding the first toast was to a superstitious granny in the subway!
My husband and I have very busy schedules, almost constantly at work, we don't really have time for ourselves. Sometimes you don't even have time to dine. We get up early, go to bed late, exhaust ourselves in a day. And the other day my glove was torn, and I can't find time to go for a new pair. For a couple of days in the evening I have forgotten to sew it up, but in the morning I do not have time - I just walk around, freezing.

And now I wake up, and my husband got up earlier and sits so intently sewing up a glove for me. Even if he rarely gives me flowers and makes compliments, it is precisely such actions that do not give me a single minute to doubt the sincerity of our feelings and great love!

In the evening I sat at the kitchen table and painted the picture with colored pencils. The idea was interesting, and in order not to confuse anything, I sorted all the pencils and arranged them in a special order. Actually, it took up the whole table. In the morning, my husband served breakfast, while I was shouting "ah-ah, overslept!" rushed around the house.

I go into the kitchen and see that my neatly arranged pencils are no longer on the table. She was upset, of course, but not much, because she was a muddler herself, it was necessary to shift them somewhere in the evening. And then I went into the bedroom and saw my pencils on the computer desk. The husband shifted. In the order that I had. All 50 pieces!

The first love. They loved madly, understood each other perfectly. But I thought I was still too young for Serious relationships, and traded it for partying with friends. Now I am 27, behind 6 years of unrestrained drunkenness and frivolous relationships. Recently we met by chance in a shopping center, it turned out that she is already happily married, has a son. We sat in a cafe for 4 hours, talking about life, about the past. Both confessed that it was the best time in our lives.

I came home and burst into tears. How stupid I was to trade her for all this. Friends, appreciate what you have, appreciate those who love you, because in our huge world it is so difficult to find your soul mate! And when you find her, hold on tight and don't let go anywhere!

Dear mothers, have you come across such a situation when you wake up in the morning without any mood at all, you feel sick at the thought that now you need to cook porridge, wash the priests of the children, gather everyone for a walk, clean the apartment during the daytime and cook dinner for your husband ... and so day after day ...

As a result, you are unhappy with everything all the time, you start yelling at children, quarreling with your husband ...

What's happening? Are you a bad mother and wife? Has your husband suddenly changed so much: he used to love and help you, but now he has to be sawed even in order to hang new hook in the hallway for a baby coat.

Where to run from all this? And how to get back a smile and a good mood again?

I must calm you down! Everything is fine! It's just that you were attacked by the usual maternity depression. And it is enough to simply cure it. The main thing here is not to dig yourself, but to understand that it is just that you have been visited by depression, and that you are not a bad mother and wife who cannot cope with their duties.

Where does this depression come from?

First of all, from the monotony. Every day the same thing. Priests-porridge-walks in the park-lulls-whims-scattered toys-cooking dinner-bathing-again whims and putting to bed, sometimes lasting for hours ... 2-3 times at night you will get up to the child, again you will not get enough sleep, and in the morning everything is new ... And there is no end and end to this cycle!

How to do everything? How to leave time for yourself and your husband? How to learn to rest in this non-stop?

The second reason is the lack of the possibility of self-realization. Household chores and pop washes are not a very highly intellectual activity, so your personality just starts to go on strike because you do not give it a creative outlet.

Some moms try to find this creative realization in early development children, but is it right? Is this method suitable for everyone?

One more common reason depression - just a banal lack of opportunity to speak with someone in normal human language, without "BIBI", "MU", "HOW". After all, because YOU are on maternity leave, your brain does not stop working, you have some thoughts, ideas, and you want to discuss it all with someone, find support. Husband? My husband came home from work tired, he would have to eat and rest, and then the children are screaming, they have to be bathed and put to bed ... Finally, the children fell asleep. Just about to relax, and then you start pestering with your fix ideas. But you have to think over them, to answer you something. How much to relax here! Of course, the first thing that comes to mind is just to growl at you, so that they don't pester you with their stupidities. But in fact, he simply triggers a defensive reaction, because he, like any person, needs rest and he defends his right to it, since you are trying to deny him this right.

So, so far there are more questions than answers. Therefore, I will move on to specific proposals for a way out of the maternity depression.

1. Find something you love. Anything, the main thing that you like, inspires you. Start blogging, cross stitching, making collages, editing videos, knitting toys, making soap, making natural creams... Everything your heart desires! And be sure to carve out at least an hour a day for this your favorite business.

2. Don't forget about yourself and your rest. The minimum program: eat regularly and well, rest for at least 20-30 minutes during the day while children sleep (sleep, just lie down, meditate - choose to your taste), take a hot shower or bath before going to bed and smear your favorite hands with cream.

3. Leave home without children for at least 2 hours a week. Go to a cafe with your friends, to the cinema with your husband, go shopping. Guess your trip for the children's sleep time so that it is easier for grandmothers-aunts to cope with them. Even dad can sit with children for 2 hours a week!

4. Look for new friends and girlfriends who are interested in your ideas. If moms at playgrounds do not share your views, find some Club on the Internet where your like-minded people will be. Call them regularly on Skype, discuss your plans, do joint projects. The Internet in this plan now provides almost limitless possibilities. In the end, create such a club of like-minded people yourself.

5. Create a holiday yourself! Buy yourself a smart home suit that you will be happy to put on in the morning. Buy some special indoor slippers. Or, conversely, change into Evening Dress and wear high heels in the evening before your husband arrives. Buy yourself some nice little things: a beautiful hairpin, a notebook, a pen, even some kind of special glove for washing the sink. Create a holiday always and in everything, even, it would seem, in completely ordinary, everyday affairs.

Love yourself, pamper yourself, do not forget about yourself! After all, the happiness of those who are next to you depends on your happiness.

Believe me, any child will prefer 30 minutes of play with a smiling, happy mom, when she completely belongs to him and completely in the game, two hours of some forced, tortured games with which you play with him not from the heart, but because of necessity, because you think that you should spend maximum time with your child and develop him as much as possible , even to the detriment of personal time and hobbies.

And any husband with more joy will receive your smile from you as a gift, Nice dress over dinner and a gentle kiss before leaving for work than a perfectly tidy apartment. Remember, as in the joke ... The husband comes home from work, everything is clean and comfortable, it smells of borscht. His wife comes out to meet him - her face is in sweat, her legs are swollen, her head is a mess, she was trying for the house ... The husband says to her: "How good it is at home, dinner awaits, there is nowhere to spit around! .. Is it just ON YOU!" And then we wonder why my husband has changed so much ... But this is already a topic for another article ...

The conflict between fathers and children, drivers and pedestrians, managers and workers, son-in-law and mother-in-law - I think everyone has heard of this kind of "confrontation". However, there is one more thing that few people talk about, but many encounter - a misunderstanding of a working husband and wife on maternity leave.

It would seem, what difficulties may arise in loving friend a friend of people. Moreover, these are not even disputes about how to raise a child or do household chores - the conflict is different. For a husband who goes to work and earns money for his family, for some reason it seems that a wife who stays at home and is exclusively occupied with the hearth does much less than he does. Just the phrase "you are sitting at home" is worth it. The same woman, in turn, is absolutely sure that taking care of a child and doing household chores is much more tiring than her husband's work. As a result, we have mutual reproaches, misunderstandings, quarrels. But let's take a calm look at the situation. Is it easy to take care of home comfort?

And in this situation (to the chagrin of men) I am completely on the side of the woman. Not only do you need to look after the child, but also somehow manage to prepare the spouse to eat, clean up the apartment and do a lot of other chores around the house. No work comes close to comparing to this (of course, if you do not take the most difficult and dangerous ones). Let's just imagine a standard situation: the husband works the usual 5/2 working week, the wife is on maternity leave with the child. So he went to work in the morning. He did a little work, in his free minute (perhaps) he even managed to drink coffee, then he had a legitimate hour-long lunch, during which he was free to do whatever he wanted. After a little more work - and that's it, the working day is over. He can spend the evening as he wants, at least at home with his family, at least with friends in the bath. Everything seems to be simple and clear. At the same time, the woman woke up early in the morning, took care of the child, managed to somehow manage to cook breakfast for her husband. Throughout the day, she is all absorbed in taking care of the child - she can only dream of a lunch or coffee break (she managed - well, no - she remained hungry). In addition, she still needs to simultaneously do chores around the house. Moreover, she does not even know exactly when her "working day" will end. The most interesting thing is that after his working day the man is not particularly eager to help his wife (he has already worked his way today). In fact, a woman has no coffee break, no lunch, or even the exact time of the end of her "working day" - and are we going to say something else about our fatigue at work?

But this uncertainty is just the beginning. If during his labor activity a man sees some result of his labors, he is praised for it, he gets moral satisfaction from this, then a woman with her household chores cannot boast of such a thing. The man grinded the detail, caught the violator, prevented the theft, took the goods, baked bread, repaired the electrical appliance, sold the car - there is always a result. The wife washed the children's clothes at home - by the evening they again accumulated a mountain and need to be washed in a new way; washed the floor - the child spilled something or scattered something, and you need to take up the rag again; I put things in order in the nursery - after a couple of hours toys were scattered there again, and I have to start work again. And so all day. What does the husband say when he comes home? That's right, "what did you do the day at home, if everything remained the same?" But you really did what you had to do, but only during the day everything returned to its former form. So it turns out that the work was done, but the result as such is not visible, the effort was spent, no gratitude, and even claims in the evenings. There is no question of any kind of justice.

With all this, a man has more freedom. He can spend the weekend as he wants, after work he is free, and at work there is also a vacation, and you can always ask for a couple of days at your own expense, if necessary. Woman in maternity leave, in fact, she no longer decides anything - all her actions and freedoms depend on the child (it's good if there is aunt / grandmother nearby who can sit with the child if necessary). Well, judge for yourself. She firmly knows that at lunchtime the child will sleep, which means that you can go about your business. But, alas, the child did not want to sleep. Everything, plans for free time and remained plans. Or while the child is playing, she decided to wash. But the baby began to cry, and the things in the typewriter remained lying - washed, but not hung up. So it turns out that it makes no sense to talk about any plans, a free period of time. A woman's time is not controlled by her, but by her child.

And this is only a small part of what distinguishes the work of a woman on maternity leave from the work of a man. Of course, you can still remember the monotony, and limited circle communication, and similar activities from day to day. The point is quite different. A man goes to work, earns money so that his family does not need anything. A woman brings up children at home and takes care of the comfort in the house. Both do different things, but the goal is the same - the well-being of the family. Maybe you should stop measuring the significance of your merits?

Why is the idea of ​​men about wives on maternity leave not always true? For a man, a wife on maternity leave is like on vacation. A spouse who is not doing anything, who has plenty of time, suddenly becomes irritable, unkempt, often refuses to caress, citing fatigue - what is the reason for such changes? What husbands need to know about the delights of maternity leave and how to help a spouse avoid depression?

Men, mistakenly believing that maternity leave resembles a vacation, often expect too much from their other half. In their opinion, a wife should always be blooming, joyful, smiling and trouble-free, because she does nothing all day. The expectations of the stronger sex can be understood - they are busy making money, which they spend entirely on the family, sometimes denying themselves a lot.

Not receiving what they want in return, husbands are disappointed, thinking that they are no longer loved and appreciated. The continuation is known - a breakdown in relationships, a search for a mistress, a divorce. To avoid such problems, it is important for men to understand how difficult it is to care for a child on maternity leave.

Lack of visible results

While on maternity leave, a woman does a lot of things in a day, but at the same time she does not see the results of her own activities. For comparison - at the workplace, every action has a logical conclusion, for example, a deal is concluded, a report is made, a car is repaired. Ultimately, the person who does this work receives a monetary reward for it.

In the decree, everything is different - washed dishes immediately appear in the sink again, cooked food almost instantly disappears. And at times, my mother can not at all complete the work begun to the end, because Small child constantly makes adjustments to her plans. A typical situation - a woman started ironing the laundry, but the baby woke up, which means that ironing is postponed, because the child needs to be fed. If the baby is capricious, mom should calm him down, play with him, change the diaper. Then it was time to get ready for a walk, now again no time for ironing.

The constant lack of results brings women on maternity leave to depression. This condition is associated with a lack of the hormone dopamine, which is produced when a person gets satisfaction from the work performed.

Note to moms!

Hello girls) I didn't think that the problem of stretch marks would touch me, but I will also write about it))) But there is nowhere to go, so I am writing here: How did I get rid of stretch marks after childbirth? I will be very glad if my method will help you too ...

Lack of gratitude

The daily routine, accompanied by a lack of gratitude, deprives women on maternity leave of joy and motivation. If family members - husband and children, do not say a simple "thank you", the keepers of the hearth have nowhere to draw strength to carry out numerous chores around the house. The awareness of what you are doing the right job that your efforts are appreciated by your family and inspires women. So that the wife and mother do not suffer from depression, she needs to be thanked for the care shown - for the cleanliness of the house and for a delicious dinner.

Work from dawn to dusk

The working day of a woman on maternity leave begins long before the household wakes up, because she needs to feed her husband before leaving, cook fresh porridge for the baby. In the evening, when the children are asleep, she cannot afford to rest until she cleans up the rooms and does the dishes. During the day, mothers also have almost no time to calmly drink tea or lie down. Do not forget that often a small child wakes up at night to eat or drink. Round-the-clock work is an unbearable burden, which is heaped on women's shoulders. It is important to understand how difficult it is for a wife and appreciate her efforts.

Monotonous environment and lack of communication

When a child appears in a family, communication between a woman and her friends is almost zero. The newly minted mother loses contact with the work collective, and her entire environment is her baby and her husband. Perhaps the spouse thinks that it is enough for the other half to talk to other mothers on the playground or in the clinic. However, this communication cannot be called full-fledged and inspiring, because in the conversations of unfamiliar women, only the topics of everyday life and raising children are touched upon. The same environment and the lack of time to meet with friends are depressing for women.

Understanding the problems a wife faces on maternity leave can help keep a good relationship with each other and avoid family breakdown.

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