The Russian rules for the adoption of orphans have been officially supplemented by a restriction on the transfer of children to countries with legal same-sex marriages, the corresponding decree was signed by Russian Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev, the government website reported on Thursday.

"Adopters can be adults of both sexes, with the exception of<…>persons who are in a union concluded between persons of the same sex, recognized as a marriage and registered in accordance with the legislation of the state in which such marriage is permitted, as well as persons who are citizens of the said state and are not married, "the document says.

In the summer of 2013. President Vladimir Putin signed a law banning the adoption of orphans by homosexual couples. Its authors were going to "protect the psyche and consciousness of children from the artificial imposition of non-traditional behavior and the emergence of mental suffering and stress."

Everything, it would seem, is fine. The main thing is to protect the psyche of children and save them from mental suffering.

Let's see which countries' citizens have legalized marriages and, accordingly, will not be able to adopt children. Same-sex marriage is permitted in Spain, France, Great Britain (except Northern Ireland), Belgium, Denmark, the Netherlands, Sweden, Norway, Iceland, Portugal, Canada, Argentina, Uruguay, Brazil, New Zealand and South Africa, as well as several states in the United States.
Let me remind you it comes about citizens who are not gay or who are not in same-sex marriage. That is, ordinary people, women and men, are to blame for being citizens of, for example, Great Britain.

Of course, if a child is adopted by a couple from France, Canada or Denmark, it will greatly damage the psyche and consciousness of the child. Being in our domestic social institutions - orphanages, boarding schools, without a family, without the possibility of normal treatment, normal rehabilitation - this will leave the child's psyche and consciousness intact. These children, who are in our institutions of "public charity", have an amazingly happy childhood, they are needed and loved. In Belgium and Norway, in Sweden and Spain, they will certainly experience mental suffering and stress. The boarding school is much better.

It is especially good in our boarding schools for children with neuropsychiatric problems. No stress, no danger to the psyche, no rehabilitation and the possibility of at least some recovery.
It should be remembered that very often unhealthy, problem children were adopted abroad. As I understand it, our citizens went to adopt them in droves.
If earlier such a child had even the slightest opportunity to get a family, care, normal medical care and the possibility of rehabilitation, now no. Citizens of a country, even as beautiful as the Netherlands, cannot adopt a Russian sick child or, in general, any child that our country does not need, for the simple reason that the government of his country has legalized same-sex marriage.

I don’t understand something ordinary couples will rent or sell adopted children to gay couples?
Or, under such conditions, no child will ever know that gays exist, that somewhere they have the opportunity to marry?

Our government believes that the implementation of this decree will help improve the procedure for adopting orphans, as well as ensure the protection of the rights and interests of such children.
It always seemed to me that in the interests of the child and his right is the family, the possibility of a normal medical care, the possibility of rehabilitation, socialization. But it turns out not. The main thing for a child is the lack of legalization of same-sex marriage.

Any child needs love and care. Disliking is a terrible thing, but it can be fixed.

Any parent always tries to make their children as happy as possible. We try not only to provide them, but also to enable them to go easily through life. To do this, it is necessary to tune the kids to look at the world positively, to teach them how to build relationships with people, work and relax in pleasure, but the main thing is to overcome life's difficulties. It is also worth explaining that not everything is smooth in life, and he will not always be happy.

Even from biblical truths, ancient works, proverbs and scientific works of our time it is known a large number of all kinds of recommendations for raising children. Everything modern methods and various techniques are rooted in popular wisdom - and they are all effective. But no matter what advice you use, it is impossible to raise a child without love, and as a parent, think about how you are raising your baby? Or are you just doing your duty?

Jesus Christ called us to love our neighbor. The essence of all human life is love. It is with her that understanding, patience and the ability to forgive loved ones come. Therefore, it is not surprising that parental love for children is the most successful parenting method.

Real and sincere parental love and attention create an atmosphere of mutual understanding in the family, and hence - mutual help, normal human communication. And growing up, children continue to create a positive atmosphere in their family and provide a dignified old age for their beloved parents. If the child feels comfortable and safe in the family, then he will have a desire to return. But if a child does not feel love, his need, then the family will weigh him down, and he will find a society where he will be appreciated and approved. But what kind of society will it be?

Sometimes parental love is blind. There is no need to make excuses that the child is still very young or does not know how to do anything. Do not deprive him of independence. To learn to exist in a turbulent modernity, he must bruise and bruise himself, and from this gain experience. Do not shield him from problems and anxieties, the child must be able to cope with troubles. Blind love is unlikely to prepare a baby for life. You should not be afraid of conflicts with your own children, they help them live in reality, and parents - to express their opinions. Only conflict on the case, without humiliating the child and insults.

The life of children depends a lot on the family. If the parent was surrounded by love, care, a positive outlook on the world, kindness, the desire to enjoy life and other positive emotions, then the child's future family will have the same atmosphere. Children learn a lot from their parents and before raising them, create the necessary atmosphere and atmosphere in the house - the kids will be happy.

Afterword (what is the most important thing in raising a child?)

Our children were very lucky (we, by the way, too, but a little less): after all, the way in the civilized world they treat little people now, they have not been treated anywhere and never before. Today's children are not thrown into the abyss, as in ancient Sparta. They are not given to other people's families, to monasteries or "to people", as in the Middle Ages. They are not seen only as future workers and are not brought up “for the good of society”, as in the Renaissance. Do not control them inner world and will, as in the Age of Enlightenment. Now children are not an "object of education" (19th century), but the greatest value, and childhood is not a preparation for some "genuine" adulthood, but its real, full-fledged stage.

One of the goals of upbringing is now proclaimed the disclosure of the individuality of the child, and the basic principles – respect for his personality, reasonable combination freedom and restrictions, care and exactingness, attention and non-interference. However, alas, "reasonable combination" is an abstract, subjective concept. How to find this "intelligence"?

The main thing here, in my opinion, is not to go to extremes. Do not force a seven-month-old to fall asleep alone. Do not terrorize the year old with Doman cards. Not to send to a music school just because my mother dreamed of becoming a great pianist, but could not. Do not impose his idea of ​​happiness. But also not to be afraid to “break the child’s personality” by saying “no” to him. Don't "play democracy" by asking for opinions on every issue. Don't try to avoid mistakes.

All our problems with children are due to the fact that we, by and large, do not feel and do not understand them. What them do you need what they expect from us (and they cannot formulate)? And how to make sure that we hear them, and they hear us?

Be able to feel your child - this is perhaps the most important thing. And difficult. No book can teach this. The ability to feel does not come immediately, over time. And it comes only if we really want it, if we try, we work on ourselves and our relationships ...

Everyone knows that in order for a child to grow up happy, he needs love. Love is a deep selfless affection, it is a spiritual response, it is closeness and a willingness to help. Love does not appear out of nowhere, it grows - from gentle touches, from kind words, constant communication, joint activities and mutual knowledge.

Love is not “adhesion” to a child before retirement, it is not necessarily an “eye to eye” life, but it is a persistent feeling that you are desired, you are dear, you are not alone. Love creates a sense of security and support in life. When you are loved, you feel needed. When you are loved, you want to live.

Love is not permissiveness. And this is not overcontrol. Not overprotective. Not blind self-sacrifice. Love is the ability to bestow, the ability to take, and the ability to ... let go when the time is right.

They say limitless mother's love spoils the child. This is not true. It spoils only if, infinitely loving the child, we do not love and forget ourselves, if the baby only absorbs our love, giving nothing in return. He can learn to love only when he sees: parents love him very much, but at the same time they also lovemyself and they loveeach other .

For a child to grow up happy, he needs acceptance and he needs faith in himself. There is so much talk about "unconditional acceptance" now. But again, speaking doesn't mean really feeling it. Unconditional acceptance is love "no matter what" and sincere confidence that "my child is the best", without the desire to remake or "improve." Attempts to redo are usually tragic: they lead to deformation of the personality, to a misunderstanding of "who I am" and a bitter conviction of one's own "badness." You can only be happy by being yourself, and not the one mom and dad dream about.

"Happiness is when you are understood." Mutual understanding with a child is born of parental sincerity and emotional openness (“I’m so glad that we have you”, “You are my sun, my life”, “I feel bad now, I’m angry, but I still love you”, “I am sad "," I am upset "," I am worried "," I do not like "). From the ability to find Right words, convey your thought and explain the position (what we want!). Our main problem is that we usually resent and blame others, but we hardly talk about ourselves, our emotions and needs, and then we wonder why such a monstrous misunderstanding?

I was convinced from my own experience: when we not we blame the child ("Why are you like this? How many times have I told you? When will you finally start to obey me? Why did you do that?"), but we speak for ourselves (what we we feel why something is unpleasant to us, what we are afraid of, what we strive for, what we would like to change), the child is penetrated! He hears! He's changing! And at the same time he learns to understand his feelings, empathize, express his feelings in words. And then he understands us better, and we understand him better.

And the last thing. Most best parent- one who internally feels good. This inner harmony is often hindered by mental rumblings (“I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing”) and self-distrust (“It seems that we need to do this, but in books it’s written differently”) ... Listen to yourself! Trust yourself more than the authors of different books and opinions. Do not drown yourself in doubts, much less drown yourself in guilt. It will never lead you to the right decision, it will only lead to mistakes and the feeling of your own worthlessness. No one but you can make your baby happy. And only you can find the one and only path to your one and only child.

This text is an introductory fragment. From the book Improvement of the spine and joints: the methods of S. M. Bubnovsky, the experience of the readers of the "Bulletin" healthy lifestyle " the author Sergei Mikhailovich Bubnovsky

From the book Canon of Medicine the author Abu Ali ibn Sina

From the book Book to Help the author Natalia Ledneva

From the book Children's Yoga the author Andrey Ivanovich Bokatov

From the book Children's Yoga the author Andrey Ivanovich Bokatov

From the book How I cured diseases of the gastrointestinal tract the author P. V. Arkadiev

From the book Seduction author Sergey Ogurtsov

From the book Healthy and happy child... Let the duckling become a swan! the author Igor Nikolaevich Afonin

From the book Good vision - a clear mind for many years! The oldest practices Of the East the author Andrey Alekseevich Levshinov

the author Valeria Khristolyubova

From the book Keeping Your Child Healthy. How? the author Valeria Khristolyubova

From the book Success or Positive Mind the author Philip Olegovich Bogachev

Lecture for parents:

Teacher primary grades

MBUSOSH # 20, Novocherkassk

Zubkova Tatiana Ivanovna

Topic: "How to truly love children"

The child learns

What he sees in his house.

Parents are an example to him ...

Dear parents, today let's talk about parental love, about its power and significance, about rationality, about a sense of proportion so as not to overfeed the child and not keep him on a starvation diet, depriving him of affection, attention, care, and friendly disposition.

Life and science have proven that all the troubles in children, and then adults, are explained by mistakes. family education, the main of which is the lack of love and the inability to praise and encourage their children.

The most important thing for a child is to be loved for who he is..

V.A. Sukhomlinsky said: "Where there is no wisdom parenting, the love of mother and father for children disfigures them. There are many varieties of this ugly love, the main one being:

- affection love,

- despotic love,

- love ransom.

Love of tenderness corrupts the soul of a child. Mother and father rejoice at every step of the child, without thinking about what step it is and what it can lead to.

A child brought up in a spirit of affection does not know that in a human community there are the concepts of "can", "not", "must". He does not know his duty to his parents, does not know how and does not want to work, because he does not see people and does not feel He has a heart that those around him, and above all mother, father, grandfather, grandmother, have their own desires, their own needs, their own spiritual world.

The greatest mistake is made by those parents who are in love with their little children, admire them, forgive everything, never punish. About such it is said: "Cherish the child, and it will frighten you." Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk gave advice: “Junias who are not punished and who have come in age are like horses that are not trained and ferocious. Therefore, Christian, love your children and punish them. Let them cry for you, so that you do not cry for them and for them. However, moderation in everything is commendable and necessary. "

There is another kind of unreasonable parental love. Thisdespotic love.

Constant reproaches create an atmosphere of real hell. And all this parents do, as they say, only because they love, wish well, teach them how to live - so that they are smarter and respect their parents.

Despotism is one of the reasons that a child's idea of ​​a good beginning in a person is perverted from an early age, he ceases to believe in a person and humanity. In an atmosphere of petty quibbles, constant reproaches, the little man becomes bitter.

Parental authority should encourage, spiritualize the child's inner strength - his desire to be good. Literally everyone has this desire. Take care of it as the most subtle movement of the human soul, do not abuse your power.

The third kind of unreasonable parental love is buyback love ... Parents are convinced that by providing for all the material needs of their children, they are fulfilling their parental duty. The child is dressed, shod, full, healthy - what else do you want? Material costs, they say, can measure parental love.

In such families, the child is surrounded by an atmosphere of spiritual emptiness and squalor. He lives among people and does not know people. His heart is completely unfamiliar and inaccessible to subtle human feelings, above all affection, compassion, compassion, mercy.

What kind of true parental love should be? How to ensure that parental love kindles inextinguishable sparks of gratitude in children's hearts?

Teaching a child to see and understand people is perhaps the most difficult thing in difficult case education of a person. Parental love should be such that the child's heart is awakened to the world around him, to everything that a person creates, that serves a person, and, of course, first of all, to the person himself.

Children are our constant witnesses, somewhere out of the corner of their eye they see our fall, breakdowns, failures, no matter how we try to hide it. Out of their ears they hear how we talk with friends, neighbors, just random travel companions. Harsh tone, not kind word parents in relation to others will certainly leave a mark on the behavior and attitude of the child, serve as an example for involuntary imitation, whether we want it or not. Unfortunately, this way of life will be adopted by children. How you must not love your child in order to send him into life with his shortcomings!

How a child perceives himself depends on our assessments. If we expect a lot from a child, he is confused and depressed, because he is afraid not to justify our hopes. If he himself expects a lot from himself, he dares and seeks to turn his hopes into reality.

If a child grows up in tolerance,

He learns to accept others.

If the child is encouraged

He learns to believe in himself.

If the child is praised

He learns to be grateful.

If a child grows up in honesty

He learns to be fair.

If the child grows up safe

He learns to believe in people.

If the child is constantly criticized,

He learns to hate.

If a child grows up in enmity

He learns to be aggressive.

If a child is ridiculed

He becomes withdrawn.

If a child grows up in reproaches,

He learns to live with guilt ...

When raising a child, we only think about how we influence him and do not at all assume that children also act on us, that they are much stronger than we think. It is children who make us prettier, kinder, more agreeable, smarter, more collected, and happier.

We can learn a lot from children, especially patience and forgiving. Children's trust and spontaneity often makes us feel remorseful.

Communication with a child is always a temptation. He is weaker than me, he knows less, he cannot live without me. This means that I can give orders, dictate conditions, be angry with him, be indignant if he does not obey. I can do whatever I want with him.

It is easy for a parent who agrees with this to live in the world - he acts in accordance with his ideas. He is confident that he is right.

It becomes difficult when you decide for yourself from the very beginning: I will not succumb to temptation, I will not press, shout at him. I will not use my power.

Having ventured on true love and freedom in relationships with children, a lot has to be rethought.

The mother, who loved her daughter very much, expressed her fears to the confessor that it was intolerable for her to think about the upcoming hardships of her daughter. Mother wanted to protect her from all evil and, if possible, take her future suffering upon herself. The confessor reproached her with selfishness, that by taking the cross from her daughter, she deprives her of salvation. “Teach her not to lean on you, but to seek support entirely from the Lord. And in the hour when you are not with her, she will not remain lonely and helpless, without support. The heart of a girl who does not have a mother by her side and who does not know how to resort to the Lord, this heart falls, breaks and is often polluted "... The confessor fell silent, the mother was crying ...

Sometimes it is thought that a person's need for children is not only an instinct for procreation. Maybe a child is one of God's attempts to teach to forgive, to teach to love. And what did this try to teach repentance to eat?

Example. The child does not want to fall asleep. You get annoyed. You speak with an iron voice and look with a coppery gaze. He will, of course, obey. Fall asleep, trustingly resting his head in your palm. He will forgive you both an iron voice and a copper look. And when you understand once again: nothing is capable of shaking his love for you, then repentance sets in. The present, the kind for which everything will be forgiven.

But this too must be lived through with dignity. Do not curry favor, do not try to make amends with pretense, false, false tone. Because giving a toy or a book to account for your sins is always easier than asking for forgiveness as an equal.

Praise - The best way to consolidate positive actions, it improves the relationship between parents and children. Those who, in childhood, received little or no praise at all, do not know how to praise. Praise to the mother, father in

especially, inspires the child. Say a kind word to me and I will justify it, say a kind word to me and I will increase it. In praise, the child visibly feels parental love.

Dear parents, you should know - no ready-made recipes in education, there are only tips, recommendations. And only the sensitive heart of the mother and father will find the right decision.

All the best to you, grow good people so that they live with the constant desire to come to their mother or call, in the constant dream of the warmth of the parental home.