If your teenage daughter is pregnant, it may be scary for her to tell you about her pregnancy. However, there are a number of signs (for example, mood swings and changes in behavior) that can be used to predict pregnancy. If you suspect your daughter is pregnant, talk to her. Remember, the only way to know for sure is to take a pregnancy test, so buy this test at the pharmacy or take your daughter to the doctor if you think she might be pregnant. If the pregnancy is confirmed, support your daughter and help her make the right decisions as the situation develops.

Steps

Signs of pregnancy

Analyze the circumstances. If you suspect your daughter may be pregnant, think about the circumstances first. If you have reason to believe that your daughter may have a sexual relationship, she may indeed be pregnant. Consider the following:

• Has your daughter talked to you about sexual relations? Does she have a regular boyfriend?
• Is your daughter prone to risky behavior? For example, if she was sneaking out of the house or using drugs, she might decide to have unprotected sex.
• But remember, this is all just guesswork. Any teenage girl can get pregnant if she has reached puberty and has sex. Pregnancy cannot be ascertained only by behavior in the present and the past. Always consider other signs as well.
• Also remember - if your daughter is afraid to tell you about pregnancy, she is unlikely to talk about her sex life.

1. Pay attention to the physical signs of pregnancy. Exists whole line physical signs of pregnancy. If you think your daughter might be pregnant, pay attention to the following symptoms:

   • Changes in appetite. Pregnancy often triggers a strong craving for something and / or nausea. Nausea is most common in the first trimester and may result in vomiting. Often, nausea occurs as a reaction to any tastes and smells. You may notice that your daughter is eating food she has not eaten before, or she is eating more (because of the increased need for food for the child) or less (morning sickness, if any, can cause loss of appetite). Your daughter may also refuse food she has always enjoyed.
     • However, if she refuses to eat the food she usually enjoys between meals, she's most likely just not hungry. If she is nervous, she may lose weight or even feel nauseous. However, if these symptoms worsen or are combined with other noticeable symptoms, it could indicate pregnancy. Keep in mind, however, that nausea and loss of appetite can also be signs of illness, although other symptoms usually appear in the case of illness.
   • Increased fatigue. Fatigue is common early sign pregnancy. Your daughter may start complaining of fatigue and sleep more often. This may mean that she is ill, but in the case of illness, there are usually other symptoms as well (for example, heat). Fatigue can also be due to lack of sleep.
   • Frequent urination. If you notice that your daughter is going to the bathroom more often (unless she is taking diuretics), she may be pregnant.

2. Check if your daughter is using feminine hygiene products. If you buy pads or tampons, you may notice that they have stopped running out. This may mean that your daughter is not using them. Lack of menstruation is often the first sign of pregnancy.

   • Remember that many teenage girls do not have a regular menstrual cycle right away - it can take several years. In addition, the menstrual cycle may be affected by different factors including stress. While unused hygiene products can be a sign of pregnancy, it is important to consider other factors in order not to jump to conclusions.

3. Pay attention to your daughter's mood. Hormonal changes during pregnancy can affect mood. Many women become significantly more emotional during pregnancy and may experience mood swings. In adolescents, these changes are often more pronounced due to the social pressures associated with teenage pregnancy. If your daughter is pregnant, you may find that she has become unusually irritable and cries more often than before.

   • Teenagers often experience mood swings due to hormonal changes caused by puberty and stress in school and social life. If you notice any mood swings in your baby, look for other signs of pregnancy before drawing a conclusion.

4. Pay attention to minor changes in appearance. As a rule, physical changes appear at a later date, but everyone's body is different. If your daughter has a fragile physique, you may notice a slight increase in weight. Also, your daughter may suddenly start wearing baggy clothes to hide her changes in her figure.

   Pay attention to changes in behavior. If your daughter is pregnant, her behavior may change. These changes can be caused by emotional stress, mood swings due to hormones, and attempts to hide pregnancy. You may notice that your daughter:

   • dresses differently than before (wears baggy or bulky clothes);
   • stays in his room more often than usual;
   • behaves covertly;
   • communicates with peers differently (for example, spending time with a new boyfriend or other friends).

5. Try to be empathetic during the conversation. If you intend to scold or condemn a child, your daughter is unlikely to want to speak frankly with you. Try to put yourself in her shoes. Remember that you were a teenager too. Try to understand how your experience is similar to that of your daughter and how it differs.

   • You probably remember the hardships and joys of growing up. How does your daughter's experience differ from yours? Could something have put pressure on her, because of what she got pregnant?

6. Start a conversation without any expectations. Do not ask your daughter questions, expecting that she will tell you everything right away. But don't expect a quarrel either. If you set yourself up for a certain outcome of the conversation, it will be difficult for you to readjust if the conversation goes wrong. You don't know how your daughter will react when you ask her about pregnancy, so don't try to predict anything. Prepare for the conversation, but don't expect anything.

   Ask questions without judgment. Remember, it's important to treat your child with respect. Even if you are upset, your judgment will only alienate your child from you. If your daughter does happen to be pregnant, you will need to become her assistant and mentor who will support her throughout the pregnancy.

   Try to understand your daughter, not give her advice. Teenagers are still children, but they grow up and face adult desires, challenges and responsibilities. They are old enough to want independence. Advice during stressful times, including pregnancy, can be taken negatively. So try to understand your daughter's feelings, actions, wants, and needs, and don't give her advice right away.

   Take deep breaths as needed. You yourself may experience all sorts of feelings about news of your daughter's pregnancy. Your hopes and dreams can be shattered. It's normal to feel sad, angry, and hurt over the news of pregnancy. However, when talking, it's important to think about your child's feelings first, not your own. You may need to take a deep breath from time to time and count to 10 to calm down. Do this as many times as necessary during the conversation.

Ekaterina Zhitomirskaya, one of the hosts of the first Russian-language online course for doulas, a mother of four children and an experienced grandmother, spoke about her fourth pregnancy and her first experience as a grandmother

Photo source: doula.ru

I was in my forties when I suddenly realized that I was pregnant again

The reaction of family and friends was mixed. To put it mildly. Somehow everyone turned out to be mentally unprepared. Even ourselves. For the fourth time.

The children turned out to be morally ready. They went to a Jewish school, and there it was believed that having a baby in the family was quite normal.

Photo source: amorez.com

Is pregnancy contagious?

The eldest daughter, who had just graduated from school, reacted most interestingly of all. She was pregnant herself. And with a period of two months more than mine.

Photo source: static1.gophotoweb.com

This somehow reassured the public about me.

And me too. I was not up to my health. I monitored my daughter's diet (and she, unlike me, had a terrible toxicosis), drove her to courses, persuaded her to buy "that pretty dress" and took her to the pool, and also wrote her down to the doctor, for ultrasound, for tests and made sure she went everywhere.

Days flew by, bellies grew. Time was approaching X

And once, returning from work and dragging two youngest children in tow, I met an ambulance at home. Excuse me, but there are still two weeks before the birth!

Full disclosure, now we are transporting her to the hospital, - the paramedic told me.

Photo source: pyatochkin.ru

Mom, will you come with me?

Mom, will you come with me?

I could not answer “no” to this child, who had suddenly cut into my modern ironic daughter, this childish “mother”.

And to all the doctors' objections about the lack of space in the car, I strictly said:

The girl is underage, she needs a legal representative.

The doctor waved his hand: "Let's go!"

Photo source: fedpress.ru

Circus, and more!

The rest was a free (to my great regret) performance for the residents of our five-story building.

On the landing near our apartment, two younger ones gaze fearfully. The eldest is reclining on a stretcher, and two orderlies briskly carry her from the fifth to the first floor, dashingly intercepting the stretcher at turns.

And then, pressing the hastily collected packages to my stomach, I waddle. And thinking:

If only they would not drop it!

Photo source: blackquote.ru

At every door, neighbors' heads stick out, the grandmothers on the benches all turned into ears. And they do not take their eyes off us.

Photo source: st1.diets.ru

Are you an aunt? - No, I'm a mom!

Ten minutes after arriving at the hospital, a girl is born. I became a grandmother!

The midwife does not understand this, and neither do I. Therefore, our dialogue sounds like this:

- Are you an aunt?

- No, I'm a mom!

Only later do I realize that decent grandmothers do not go to maternity hospitals with bellies, and I was mistaken for the older sister of a woman in labor. And that is flattering.

Photo source: img1.liveinternet.ru

New life side by side

The daughter immediately joined in a new life. She deftly changed diapers (it was not for nothing that she trained for a long time on my younger children), bathed the baby in herbs and breastfeed without any problems.

I was a little jealous - her life is full of changes every second, and mine is so lazy and calm. She is also jealous - there are too many changes per unit of time, but with me everything is unchanged and stable ...

Photo source: mamusja.ru

And we remember you!

But nothing can last forever, including pregnancy. Two days before February 29, our boy was born. In the same hospital and almost as fast as his niece.

My daughter comes to visit me, and the same midwife recognizes her:

- You were with us recently!

- Yes, I gave birth here in December.

- And now?

- And now I'm visiting my mother ...

Quite different, they grow together

Nastya and Naum. He is black, nosed, and still meaningless. She is fair, snub-nosed, smiling. They are the same size. In a month he will overtake her.

They grow together. They are completely different. He is shrill, she is bass. He is impetuous, she is neat. He is absent-minded, she is dexterous. He is scandalous, she is stubborn.

Photo source: img.bibo.kz

She has the neat handwriting, he has - "chicken paw." She reads the obligatory page a day in warehouses and without any interest, at this time he is absorbed in "The Legends of King Arthur", next to him is a list where he clumsily puts the names of the heroes: "Genoveva is his wife." So as not to get confused.

Photo source: c1.staticflickr.com

I thought it never happens

Now I regularly hear:

Oh, and I have a daughter with a granddaughter of the same age! Now in one group they graduate from the institute!

They studied in our class! She told him: I am your aunt, you must obey me! - And he told her: I won't, I'm older than you!

Photo source: balance-tv.ru

On the road where we go with three years, already no one in our family ties does not understand, so we are listed there simply as "these twins."

Photo source: balance-tv.ru

2018-04-03 2018-04-03 Masha Burtseva My daughter is pregnant at 16

My daughter is pregnant at 16

Of course, modern youth is not at all surprised by this, but what should a mother do, who was counting on her daughter's admission to college and further successful continuation adulthood? Now everything has gone awry.

Nowadays teenage pregnancy is becoming more common. Even at the time of my studies at school, everyone shied away from one student, who appeared in the classroom with a belly. After that, there were several more similar cases, but no one was given a miracle, although they were condemned, of course. Whether such early pregnancy arises from the lack of sex education for adolescents, or because of disharmony in parent-child relationships. Or it all depends on the girl herself and her mind. Our heroine Irina Valentinovna has already turned to the class teacher of her daughter, her sister, and a friend, but the opinions of the women differed. Someone is in favor of abortion, and someone says, in no case, the girl is very young and you never know what the consequences will be. Now a frustrated mother seeks support on Femma.

"Girls, I'm in prostration .. My daughter, she is 16 years old, pregnant. As if in a fog ... It’s like it’s not with me and in a dream, I didn’t even believe in what was happening at first. She has a boy, they are dating. They were just walking, he visited us on holidays, but now it is clear that I should not have trusted them.

A week ago she came and showed me two strips ... "Mom, don't the tests lie?" I say - they rarely lie, let's double-check. Everything was confirmed. She's in tears! She wanted to have an abortion, which scared me too, and now she was about to give birth, but she constantly roars and thinks about how hard it will be. This boy disappeared abruptly somewhere. I am in a terrible state myself, it is unbearably difficult to make a decision! What to do with the child, I mean with the daughter? 16 years old ... Very early, what kind of childbirth. On the other hand, what will the first abortion lead to? Many gynecologists (though not all) are intimidated.

How to be? Talking to his parents? I will mentally prepare myself to give birth and raise, but my daughter? She doesn't understand anything yet. And how will it turn out with study. My God, there are just a lot of thoughts. Small children are small troubles, and big children are already serious troubles. For some reason, my husband has withdrawn into himself and keeps silent, probably, ashamed, painful, exciting. And he doesn't know what to do either. "

Dear women, who has this happened in their families? What decision did you make in the end and how did everything turn out in the life of a young mother and child, if it was saved?

PS The name of the heroine has been changed

“Oh, they'll put Seryozhka in prison! The girl is not even 15. And already with a belly! " - all and sundry, whispered behind the backs of young people. The town of Orlov, where 22-year-old Sergey and eighth-grader Marina live, is so small that even if you try to get lost, it will not work. Passers-by will show who lives where, and while they see them off, they will tell the whole biography. Only not your own, but your neighbors. So it happened with Marina. When my belly began to grow, I didn't know where to go from gossip.

Marisha, when she met him, just like him, went crazy, - says classroom teacher girls (people are afraid to call names - the town is too small, everyone avoids gossip, rumors, gossip). - He sits in the classroom, and his thoughts are somewhere outside the walls of the school, there, with him. And the walls would hardly have kept her. She fell in love. We already persuaded her and scolded her. After all, the girl studies well, in her diary there are fives and fours.

The girl stopped going to school. I did not finish the eighth grade. In the spring, rumors spread that she was pregnant. Parents in both families were alarmed. And in the local prosecutor's office there was a report from the police (the doctors of the local hospital after the examination called - they say, the girl is pregnant) - seduction of a minor. And the guy would have been imprisoned ... If in June this year the law had not become softer. The prosecutor was already ready to sign a decree on the initiation of a criminal case. But the parents had time to come. And they refused to initiate a criminal case. Seryozha got off with a fine.

I do not wish her any harm, - Marina's mother cries. - Let them live. At first I swore, and chased them, and talked to both of them in an amicable way. Useless! And when she found out about pregnancy, she cried, of course - it’s too early. But now what to do? We will raise and educate.

The small two-room apartment where the guys lived with Marina's mother is clean and comfortable. A sleek gray cat sits on the back of an armchair and purrs.

Mom, after Seryozha goes to the army, wants to take her daughter to her. They will put a bed in a small room. A stroller for the baby will appear in the corridor. In the meantime, the room is empty. The young couple now lives with his parents.

After all, she will have to learn, - says the future grandmother. - Where I will sit with the little one, where I will take a walk. Yes, and at night it will be necessary to keep an eye. I will help. And when Seryozhka comes from the army, they will sign. They themselves will decide where to live. Now the main thing is to have health. And Marina finished school. And gossip ... They will talk, talk and back down.

And the school went to meet the eighth-grader. Although it could have been completely different.

Where is she without education, - the headmaster laments. - When I found out that Marina would give birth, I wanted to take her to home schooling. But pregnancy is not a disease. Not allowed. Now she goes to lessons. And by the new year must pass exams for the eighth grade. And by the end school year will take external exams for the ninth. An intelligent girl - she can handle it!

A month later, the future dad goes to the army. And in the registry office there is a statement. And as soon as Marina turns 16, the couple will become a family and on paper.

He protects her, - says Marina's mother. - One does not let go anywhere - neither to the hospital, nor to the store. He will take you everywhere, wait. And in the morning she always gets up earlier and prepares breakfast for her. She does everything to make her feel good. How can you not believe in their sincerity. In adults, even such a relationship is rare.

Highly actual question- and it is good if it occurs, since in most cases mothers do not know at all that their daughter is in an "interesting position." So the first reason for joy: the daughter trusts her secrets. Well, if the information was received by chance, then there is still something to be happy about: you can tell what to do next and help you not to break the wood in the heat of the moment.

It is not necessary to analyze those cases when there is a potential groom and the possibility of creating a full-fledged family, raising a child with pleasure, is not excluded. Of course, the problem arises when the dad is either unknown or completely refuses to accept the gift of fate.

As a rule, the question of abortion immediately arises. The only interesting thing is, why are many other possibilities absolutely not taken into account? Is not just a murder (let's call a spade a spade), but also a serious risk. If the child is the first, no doctor can guarantee further conception and a happy pregnancy. So is it worth mutilating yourself at the cost of another, innocent life?

• the first is the opinion of others,
• the second is financial difficulties.

The first reason is not a reason at all. If you look closely at those around you, then very soon you will understand that they have nothing to do with others - everyone is busy with their own problems. Therefore, you need to consider only personal feelings, your willingness to accept a new life.

Let's say a young mother is very young and is not ready to mentally take care of the baby, provide him correct development and care. But there is an option to take the baby to the grandmother's family - you can even formalize the adoption so as not to burden the documents of your daughter, who dreams of a normal relationship.

Yes, of course, these are worries, troubles, but one has only to imagine this tiny creature, which will surely bring joy to everyone, and the decision may change. You can connect many relatives - for sure there will be more or less free ones who will help with the baby in the first years.

All mothers of adult daughters probably know what sensations arise after abortions - do we really want to give our daughters this “legacy” in the form of depression, persistent guilt and even real grief? The second reason is much more serious. If it is not possible for either the young mother or her parents to raise the child, you should still not immediately run to the gynecological department.

Now there are boxes for newborns in big cities - babies are simply taken away, without documents and a medical card. And surely there will be people who need this particular baby! Even the heads of the maternity ward probably have a list of couples who do not have children of their own, but dream of adopting an infant - healthy, without heavy heredity. So this is exactly the case! For social reasons, it is precisely from healthy babies- and they easily find second parents, caring and loving.

True, there is an option in which, after the birth of a small miracle, one does not want to give it away somewhere. It is such happiness to see the continuation of oneself in a tiny wrinkled face, to feel the beating of a dear heart ... And where then the strength and opportunities come from: the necessary finances, and time, and the necessary help appear. And in 10-15 years, everyone will only wonder how it could even occur to get rid of such a wonderful and intelligent child.

If the daughter is pregnant, this is a critical situation, but you can also find a decent way out of it. The main thing is to want to find it! And at this moment, the mood of the mother can decide a lot. It is good if the great maternal instinct overcomes all prejudices.

This article is not medical advice and should not be used as a substitute for consulting a doctor.