Not a single modern wedding is complete without the notorious cry "Bitter!" But why exactly is this call for kissing for the newlyweds heard from the lips of those present at the event? Why are the guests shouting "bitterly" to the young and counting (counting) how long the kiss will be? Its duration, as it were, should indicate a happy marital longevity.

Such a tradition appeared in Russia and still lives mainly at Slavic weddings. Other countries have different customs. For example, in Italy they shout out the word "Bacio!" Which means "Kiss!" In Spain, they shout "Que ce besen!" - translated into Russian "Let them kiss!" In many English-speaking countries, guests present persistently bang their forks on their glasses as an invitation to kiss. In theory, there is a reason for some kind of sadness on this day.

For example, parents of young people may grieve, who, having grown their "bloods", now send them to an independent adult life

It is also bitter for the groom and the bride, who are parting with a free and carefree life. And invited, because at the table in honor of the celebration, they drink bitter treats. But all this can only be our speculation. What does the cry of "bitter" mean?

Newlyweds kiss to the shouts of "Bitter"

Why do they shout "bitter" at weddings - the history of the wedding tradition

One of the explanations why they shout "bitterly" at weddings and what it means , the following: this custom has folk festivals as its starting point. Our forefathers were very eager for wedding fun... One of them, according to legend, explains where the tradition of calling a couple in love to a kiss came from. "Gorka" - this was the name of this joy. Its essence is as follows. Once upon a time, the celebrations were played mainly in the winter season, when the work in the gardens had already been completed. Before the matchmaking, the girl's parents in their courtyard built a pile of snow and watered it with plain water. A young lady with her girlfriends stood on top of the icy hill. The groom's task was to shout "Gorka!" climb up to the chosen one to kiss her. After kisses, the young with friends rolled down merrily.

According to another version, kissing at a wedding, when they shout "Bitter!" On a tray poured gold coins to "sweeten" the bitterness of the treat.

Photo of young people with witnesses at the wedding

The third assumption: our ancestors believed in evil spirits who loved to mischief a person. They argued that evil spirits hated human happiness. To deceive her, people at weddings always said "Bitter!"

The fourth option: the guests shouted this word, regretting that the bride and groom are moving to a different status - a married couple. That is, now they will not have the opportunity to have fun, because in Russia this privilege was enjoyed only by young people who were free from marriage bonds.

In ancient times, at the wedding, they shouted "Bitter!" bitter wine served... It immediately seemed to become sweeter after the hot kiss of the bride and groom. Before that, the guests even deliberately anxiously talked among themselves - so that everyone could hear - they say, "Something wine in a glass is weed!"

In fact, there are enough reasons to grieve on the wedding day, although this bitterness cannot be called real. In fact, everyone is happy to see the newly made young, happy, loving a couple who begins a completely different life stage in their lives. All guests prepared generous and unique gifts for the young people: rings, earrings, chains and other accessories.

When at a wedding they shout "sour" and "sweet"?

As a rule, when the first excitement addressed to the newlyweds has already passed, the guests begin to chant "Sweet!" and "Sour!" What is the meaning of chants of this kind?

According to legend, the witnesses of newlyweds must be unmarried. There was a possibility that they will like each other and soon they will also have a wedding. So who kisses when they shout "Sour"? That's right: witnesses who liked each other. However, you cannot insist if they refuse to kiss.

But to whom are they shouting “Sweet!”? There are several versions on this score:

1. The newlyweds at the wedding are bitter when they remember the time they have not lived together, and they are bitter because of these thoughts. Therefore, when you call "Sweet!" they should kiss with all the ardor and ecstasy, so that from now on they begin only sweet joint life. Such, for example, as their parents, who should set an example for the young - also kiss from the heart and wish their children happiness in married life. It turns out that in this case both parents and newlyweds kiss.
2. In the second case, under such screams, all those present at the celebration kiss each other.
3. The next option: groom kissing bride... With the exclamation “Sweet!”, On the contrary, the bride is the groom.

Bride and groom kissing at the wedding

Is there an alternative to "bitter" at a wedding

The festive ritual, according to which the newlyweds should kiss when the guests shout "Bitter!", Is a thing of the past. For many reasons, some newlyweds categorically do not want such exclamations to announce their wedding: some consider this an unnecessary atavism, others are shy, others feel sorry for wasting time on drunken calls. But the desire to change the tradition is not enough.

It is necessary to come up with something in advance in exchange and discuss possible options with a wedding host to make the appropriate amendments to its script, according to your wishes:

• you can simply reduce the number of draft clicks that one way or another follow after the amount of alcohol you have drunk;
• turn the action into a kind of game for those present and newlyweds;
• jokingly but categorically interrupt such shouts, etc.

Many couples are looking for a more original alternative to this tradition.

Here are some of these options:

1. In front of each of the guests on wedding table lay out bamboo sticks... Instead of shouts "Bitter!" those invited, at the request of the presenter or at any other command, begin to knock with their sticks. It's unusual and not so loud.
2. It's the same with bells, which guests will ring every time they want to see the bride and groom kissing. Banqueting hall is filled with a melodious chime. Such a tradition exists, for example, in Italy. Bells can be used as guest boarding card holders and as small gifts for guests. In this case, they are decorated with the initials of the young couple and the date of the wedding.
3. Manufactured funny signs, which the newlyweds hide behind during a kiss, ostensibly embarrassed to kiss in front of everyone.
4. Some of the guests can from time to time run in front of the young with a poster on which is written "Bitter!" or "Young people should kiss!" Such a "running line" will surely make the guests smile.
5. It is worth noting that instead of "Bitter!" you can chant any other word, at the discretion of the guests.

The bride and groom kiss, hiding behind a sign

Anyway, it's your personal choice... Only you and your friends can break stereotypes, and only you can decide how to do it. If you decide to take such a step, you must remember to warn the guests in advance about this.

The custom to shout at the wedding "Bitter!" has purely Slavic roots, it is not accepted by other peoples. Moreover, for mixed marriages When the bride is Russian and the groom has oriental roots, the guests from the bride's side are warned in advance about this. Their national etiquette is very strict about the bride's chastity. The maximum that is possible is a modest kiss at the registry office.

This applies not only to the East, but also to European peoples. Also, the custom is absent at gypsy weddings. The traditions of Russian weddings are surrounded by a host of omens, many of which have not even survived to this day. And what came down was transformed into completely different things and explanations.

What is the reason

The cry "Bitter!", Which provokes the newlyweds to kiss in public, is a distinctive tradition of Russian weddings. We all know well that the main wedding period in Russia was autumn, and after the end of the harvest and all field work. There was simply no time to get married at another time.

As a rule, this coincided with the first frost. Therefore, an ice slide was built for wedding festivities, along which the groom climbed up to the friendly shouts of "Hill!" This is one of the versions.

A more plausible explanation is that girls were often given in marriage without their consent. Marriages were unequal and unhappy for them. Shouts of "Bitter!" could well portend a bitter fate, which was already known in advance. Moreover, according to the rules, the young wife was forbidden to visit her parents for the first six months. All wedding folklore in Russia was permeated with sad lyrics, if not outright crying.

Shouted "Bitter!" at a wedding to deceive evil spirits. Especially when couples were joined by lovers who received the parents' blessing for marriage. It was a rare happiness in those days.

Later, they began to kiss under the scream of the guests as a sign that in the future family, the couple would resolve any controversial conflicts amicably and with respect to each other.

Over time, the meaning of "Bitter!" changed dramatically and became an expression of joy and happiness.

Now many couples abandon this custom, many are embarrassed by the mere thought of kissing in front of everyone. It's a little strange - our age is not different in chastity. But the trend has already begun. Maybe it's for the best.

1. Agree with the presenter so that he shouts "Bitterly!" paid at your wedding. The people will laugh and calm down.
2. A modest kiss is enough for the ceremony. It will look touching and at the same time official, within the bounds of decency.
3. You can replace "Bitter!" After any toast. to "Hurray!" and not kiss at all.
4. Draw signs and decorate with the inscription "Who is bitter - kiss your neighbor." Place them on tables along with seating cards.
5. Pack any jam in small jars and hand it over to those who are especially persistent, who are always "bitter" at the wedding.

And one more killer argument against wedding tradition shout "Bitter!" Russian researcher Vladimir Shemshuk, after a long study of ancient traditions, made a sensational conclusion - initially in Russia, the shouts of "Bitter!" were not accepted. The ancient Russians already then understood that this could cause trouble for the newlyweds. It was customary to shout "Sweet!"

Apparently, modern youth, who deliberately rejects this rite that has appeared from nowhere, returns to the origins. Thus, he joins the peoples of the Caucasus, the East, the Gypsies - everyone who values ​​purity and chastity. These nations are notable for their strong health even. And moral principles, by the way.

Whether our youth is right or wrong - time will tell ...

Almost every person who at least once attended a wedding celebration as the main character or a guest of this celebration, became a participant in the tradition of kissing the bride and groom under the guests' cries “bitterly” and at the expense of the duration of the kiss. But no one knows the true history of this tradition. There are several versions of the origin of this tradition. Perhaps each of these versions is correct, but this tradition originated in various countries and in different time... Perhaps all these versions are logical, but not correct. Perhaps any of them are correct. It is only known for certain that the custom of yelling at a wedding is "bitter" and is now widespread in many countries and differs only in small nuances. Shouts "bitterly" sound at the weddings of all Slavic and some other peoples, for example, in Moldova they shout "omar" (mold. Bitterly), in Italy, instead of crying "bitterly", bells ring melodiously, even in Korea, far from Slavic culture, a similar custom. Such a wide spread of the tradition testifies to the antiquity of its appearance.

The most common versions of the tradition are as follows:

1. In Russia, weddings were played after the end of the field work. On winter weddings arranged fun game, for which a hill of snow was built in the courtyard of the bride's house, the slope of which was poured with water to ice it. The bride and her friends climbed a non-slip throne to the top of the hill, and the groom and his friends climbed to them along the slippery slope to the shouts of the guests. The groom, who reached the top of the hill, received the right to kiss the bride as a reward, and his friends - the bride's girlfriends. The game ended with guys and girls rolling down the hill. Later, this fun game was moved to the banquet table, and the word "slide" was replaced by a similar word "bitter".
2. The bride treated the guests with wine or vodka (a myth invented for the alcoholic genocide of the Russian people !!!), with which she delivered glasses on a tray. The guests, in gratitude for the treat, put gold coins on the tray, confirming that the bride had treated them not with water, but with a strong drink, exclaiming "bitter". The bride sweetened the drink with her guest's kiss. At modern rural Slavic weddings, this custom is still preserved. Over time, it was transformed into a modern version, since the groom was not delighted with the fact that the bride kissed other guys. Such a custom in Russia could have appeared not earlier than the era of the reign of Peter I, before which the Russians did not drink alcoholic beverages.
3. By shouting "bitterly" they distracted evil spirits from the newlyweds, to whom the guests demonstrated that there was no point in harming this family, they were already not sweet. With this exclamation, the guests tried to provide the newlyweds with family happiness and the removal of the evil eye and other troubles from them.
4. To prevent possible conflict situations in a young family, the guests demanded to sweeten the bitterness of the dishes of the banquet table with a cry "bitterly", and the newlyweds, with their kiss, convinced the guests that all problems would be solved in harmony and love.
5. The bitterness of the guests from the fact that the newlyweds say goodbye to their old life, girlish gatherings, meetings of bachelors, leave the parental home, say goodbye to their carelessness and ingrained habits, is expressed in cries of "bitter". And the kiss of the bride and groom symbolizes their willingness to start a new happy family life with all its worries and worries.

Like other traditions, the cry "bitterly" over time transformed its form, a sign appeared that the life of a young family will be the more cloudless, the longer the kiss of the bride and groom will be. True, in some countries, counting to a hundred during a kiss was made in ancient times, while the duration of the kiss determined the duration of their family life... The young people believed in this omen and tried to prolong the kiss as long as possible. Now this omen has turned not into superstition, but into fun, the count, as a rule, is not up to one hundred, but up to ten.

Some brides and grooms are annoyed by the frequent shouts of "bitter" at the banquet table and the need to kiss surrounded a large number guests. Modern weddings are often accompanied by a large number of alcoholic beverages, after which the intoxicated guests turn a good tradition into annoying entertainment. The organizers of the wedding celebration recommend getting rid of the annoying custom for young people by drawing up an appropriate wedding scenario and making a preliminary agreement with the guests and the toastmaster about abandoning this tradition or using it not too often.

In many communities, cultures, faiths, it is not customary to kiss openly, and is considered uncultural behavior! For example, or gypsy. Such open behavior in the Russian world is imposed far-fetched, previously it was not customary in Russia to kiss publicly in front of everyone and so passionately.

There are several options to explain where the wedding custom came from to shout to the young: "Bitter!" In this post, you will find out what does an ice slide, a glass of wine and evil spirits have to do with it.

Explanation # 1. Play

As you know, in the old days in Russia, weddings were played in winter or at the end of autumn, when agricultural work ended, there was time for fun, and the bins were filled to the top.

The day before the arrival of the matchmakers, the bride's parents were building an ice mountain in their yard. During the matchmaking, the bride climbed to the very top with her bridesmaids. The groom had to demonstrate his strength and dexterity by climbing the mountain with his friends. When he succeeded, he could kiss his beloved.

Friends young man they also did not remain without a reward - they kissed the bridesmaids, after which the whole noisy company with a cry of "slide" rolled down. At some point, the "slide" turned into "bitter". But the custom of kissing young people remained, which, of course, is not surprising.

Explanation # 2.

According to another version, the tradition appeared at a wedding feast. The bride had to go around all the guests with a tray, on it was a glass of vodka or a glass of wine. Guests who tasted the drink had to respect the bride with the word "bitter!" So they proved that they were not deceived, the drink is real and, moreover, it is delicious.

Guests were allowed to put money on the tray, so they declared their desire to kiss the bride, and they had the right to do so. This is a peculiar way to "sweeten" the drink.

Over time, the custom has changed: now only the groom can kiss the bride, which is correct. But guests at weddings still like to play a little hooligan and shout "bitter!"

Explanation # 3. Conciliatory

According to the third version, when the newlyweds kiss with cries of "bitter", they demonstrate to all guests that in the future they will solve unpleasant, controversial and "savory" moments with love and without conflict.

Explanation # 4. Magical

In the old days, superstitions were very common. It was believed that evil spirits strongly dislike the happiness of the newlyweds and their guests, they are terribly jealous of them and they have some kind of insidious plan to destroy someone else's joy.

Therefore, the guests tried with all their might to portray the misfortune: the groom and the bride are not so happy about their wedding, and the invitees are all ugly and tasteless. Our ancestors believed that if the spirits hear the word "bitter", they will understand that they have nothing to do at such a wedding, here and without them it is already bad for everyone, and will pass by.

Explanation # 5. Bitter

At any, even the most cheerful wedding, there are reasons for sadness. Newlyweds leave their parents, part with them. Parents accompany their children to adult life... Therefore, in a sense, there are reasons for shouting "bitterly".

In addition, guests can say that the dishes at the wedding are not tasty if the bride and groom are not having fun and showing their love for the joy of everyone. That is why they shout "bitterly", because after kissing it becomes fun and it is obvious that the holiday was arranged not just like that, but on a really important occasion.

Why do they shout “Bitter!” At the wedding?

The festive ritual for the conclusion of marriage is called the wedding. Before the celebration itself and the painting in the registry office there is a cycle of various rituals, for example, the ransom of the bride and contests for the groom. In addition to the original, new traditions are emerging. For example, the first dance of the newlyweds and the dance, which is borrowed from other nations, where the bride dances with her father. These rituals have appeared relatively recently. Besides them, there are others.

Interesting ritual

But why are they shouting "Bitter!" At the wedding? Usually after that, the young should kiss. And no one knows where this tradition came from. I would like to note that already well drunk guests literally torture the young with this word almost every five minutes throughout the evening. This prevents the newlyweds from sitting and relaxing. So they have to give each other their kisses at the wedding. At this moment, the guests happily start counting the number of sweet lips touches.

Let's find the right answer

And yet why do they shout “Bitter!” At the wedding? There are many possible answers. According to one version, the tradition dates back to ancient times. Our ancestors had completely different morals, different traditions, did not have TVs and computers, but did not sit within four walls. They walked and invented various fun for themselves. One such fun was called "Hill". It was held during the wedding. The essence of the game is simple: the bride's family built a hill (not very high) in the yard and flooded it with water. Then the young woman climbed upstairs with her girlfriends. And the groom and his friends climbed the dais from the other side (to the shouts of "Hill!") To kiss the bride and the girls. As soon as this was done, everyone went down the hill.

Another assumption

Why do they shout “Bitter!” At the wedding? Here is another interpretation. There was a custom: they took a tray, put glasses of bitter vodka on it and gave it to the bride. She walked around all the men in turn and gave each of them a drink from a glass. After that, the young man had to shout "Bitter!" If he put coins on the tray, then he earned the right to kiss the girl on the cheek.

"Bitterly!" at the wedding they scream for evil spirits. Our ancestors were superstitious people and believed in all sorts of fables. It was believed that evil spirits do not like when we feel good. But at such an event as a wedding, you will not get stuck. To deceive the evil creatures, everyone began to shout "Bitter!", Thereby showing that they were far from all right. The unclean force, having heard such words, left and did not bother the owners anymore.

"Warm-up" for witnesses is a reason to shout "Bitter!"

At the end of the wedding celebration, no one looks at the young couple, and witnesses attract attention. This is where something interesting begins. Everyone shouts "Bitter!" not newlyweds, but witnesses. But the problem is that these people are seeing each other for the first time. And kissing a person whom you met a few hours ago may not be very pleasant for you, not very eager. But the witnesses, as you understand, have the right to refuse such a desire of the guests.