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“You can't believe in our time anyone, not even yourself.
I can!"

from the movie "Seventeen Moments of Spring"

“Our product is safe”, “The source code of our product has been audited and does not contain vulnerabilities”, “The code of our product is open, specialists from all over the world are working on it, who will notice errors” - we hear and read such assurances all the time. Can you trust them? Just one, but very illustrative example:

Security specialist Guido Vranken found four serious security vulnerabilities in OpenVPN with his fuzzer. Interestingly, this happened after two recent full security audits of the source code of this program. This suggests that source auditing does not provide an absolute guarantee that there are no bugs.

It's funny that the vulnerabilities were found using the method fuzzing- automatic search different options input parameters to search for those that will cause the program to malfunction. That is, manual analysis of the code should have excluded the situations found - which means, possibly, other vulnerabilities were also missed.

This example leads us to a sad conclusion: even if we use a product that has a wide variety of awards in the field of information security, this cannot guarantee its quality. Although, of course, any audit is better than its absence ...

Why is Doctor Web so sad about this fact? Passing tests for compatibility, code quality, absence of bookmarks is one of the conditions for obtaining an electronic signature for a file. Its presence assumes that the file is legitimate, and the anti-virus protection must let it pass.

A few quotes:

Excluded from scanning: programs classified as Trusted, Trusted *, and signed programs, which by default are included in the list of allowed applications in the application filter.

By default ... Trusts files signed by specific vendors.

* So in the text.

And those antivirus programs that do not take their word for it will become outsiders in the speed tests. Is the hint clear?

But cybercriminals also know about trust in signatures - and they sign their "creations" with a certificate:

The encryptor used a fake Microsoft electronic signature (electronic signature technology is used to show users that the program was developed by a reliable author and ensures that the program is legitimate - it can be allowed on the computer without verification).

How many people automatically install updates?

On December 9, 2017, at the 89th year of life, an outstanding theater and film artist Leonid Bronevoy died. We are finishing the publication of the interview that Dmitry Gordon took from Leonid Sergeevich in 2012. Part III.

(Continued. Beginning in No. 3, in No. 4)

"Brezhnev called Gradova and asked:" Where is Stirlitz? " - I thought they live together ... "

- Let's go back to Mueller: Vsevolod Sanayev, who was originally planned to be filmed in this role, as far as I know, said: “I can't, I ...

- ... Party organizer of Mosfilm ...

- ... and settled on your candidacy ...

- Yes, and then we went somewhere with him, and he wondered: “How did I refuse so?”. - "You did not understand anything, but I immediately understood: the most interesting role."

- Did you know that the real Mueller remained alive and after the war worked closely with the Americans?

- Well, these are rumors ... He remained alive - yes, but where he dropped the anchor, no one knows ( according to one of the versions - in Latin America, according to another - in the USA, according to the third - in general in the USSR. - D. G.), and what a wonderful text Semenov composed! Which, by the way, was not given the State Prize of the RSFSR: they gave us, but they didn’t even put it on the list - what kind of rudeness?

- And why?

- How do I know? The man was offended to the depths of his soul: look what work he wrote! I'll just remind you of one scene - with the one-eyed Ice-man, played well by Kuravlev, remember?

- Still would!

- I tell him that Kalten-Brunner "has grown a huge tooth on Stirlitz." Eisman asks: "For whom?" - “Yes, yes, to Shtirlitsa. Only person in Schellenberg's intelligence, to whom I have sympathy. Calm, not a sycophant, without hysterics and without ostentatious zeal - I don't really believe those who revolve around the authorities and speak unnecessarily at our party rallies: mediocrity, talkers, idlers, and this silent man, I love silent people. If a friend is silent, it is a friend, and if an enemy, then it is an enemy - I respect them, they have a lot to learn. " Isn't it great? It's music!

Then Aisman-Kuravlev convinces: “I have known Stirlitz for eight years, I was with him in Spain, near Smolensk I saw him under bombs - he was hewn out of flint and steel”, and I, that is Muller, told him: “What are you talking about epithets pulled? With fatigue, huh? Leave the epithets to our party bosses, we, detectives, must be expressed with nouns and verbs: "He met", "She said", "He conveyed."

Then another amazing moment. "What to do?" - I ask Eisman. He replies: "I personally believe that you need to be completely honest with yourself - this will determine all subsequent actions and deeds," and Mueller: "Actions and deeds are one and the same."

- What a character!

- And in the end it is wonderful: “And remember that in our time you can’t believe anyone, sometimes even yourself. I can. He-he-he! "

- Class!

- Well, the film did not receive the USSR State Prize - only Russia. Eight years later, the patient Brezhnev looked at it, cried - and gave Slava Tikhonov " Gold Star", Oleg Pavlovich Tabakov and I were awarded the Order of the Red Banner of Labor, the rest were awarded the Order of Friendship of Peoples.

- Well, he gave him the Golden Star because he thought it was a real intelligence officer Isaev, right?

— (Laughs). Well, I messed it up. I called Gradova and asked: "Where is Stirlitz?" - I thought they lived together.

- Did you personally call Gradova?

- Well, yes, yes! "This is Brezhnev," - introduced himself, and she: "Stop playing!" - and hung up. Immediately a second call followed: "It's really me, Leonid Il-ich." - "Yes?". I didn’t believe it, because many portrayed him.

- I remember Muller's nervous tic ...

- It happened by accident - my uniform was very stinging at the collar of my uniform, so I was turning my head all the time, and suddenly Lioznova said: “Let's affirm it - like a nervous paint in especially difficult places, for example, when Mueller finds out that Stirlitz is a spy.”

- Cool moment!

- Yes, it worked, but this is an external detail, and the text, I repeat, how wonderful! “As soon as somewhere instead of“ hello ”they say“ heil ”to someone’s personal address, you should know: they are waiting for us there, from there we will begin our great rebirth. How old will you be in 1965? Under 70. Lucky! You will live and play your part: 70 is the flourishing age of politicians, and I will be under 80, so I am worried about the next 10 years ahead. If you want to place your bet without fearing me, but, on the contrary, relying on me, remember: Müller, the chef of the ges-tapo, is an old tired man, he wants to live out his years somewhere on a small farm with a blue pool, and for the sake of I’m ready to play the activity. And further. Of course, you don't have to tell Bormann, but remember it yourself. In order to get from Berlin to a small farm in the tropics, you should not rush. Many of the Fuhrer's mongrels will run away from here very soon and will be caught, but when the Russian cannonade rumbles in Berlin and the soldiers fight for every house, you can leave here without slamming the door behind you. Leave and carry away the secret of the party's gold, which is known only to Bormann and the Fuehrer, and when the Fuehrer goes into oblivion ( Tikhonov looks at me with horror. - L. B.), you have to be very useful to Bormann: he will then be the Monte Cristo of the twentieth century, so now there is a struggle of excerpts, Stirlitz, and in the background there is one essence, one - a simple and understandable human essence. "

By the way, when Mikhail Andreevich Suslov - the second person in the Soviet state - attacked this film, and its head of the Main Political Directorate Soviet army General Epishev supported, Andropov defended the painting very sharply, but they still won: the USSR State Prize was not given to us. Andropov appointed Tsvigun's chief consultant - a remarkable personality. A huge man, strangely gone from life ...

- Very strange! - he tried to, as they say, not receive the highest measure for corruption on an especially large scale.

- Suslov said: "Just like this Borovoy, Bronevoy or whoever he is, you can't play a fascist!"

- Charming to do, right?

- Kind and so on, and And-ro-pov: “No, we need to play just like that - then we show that we fought with a charming, strong and intelligent enemy and won, and if we make fools of the Germans, who did we fight with then? ? ".

"Medvedev asked:" What are your requests and wishes? " I shrugged my shoulders: "None." He was surprised: "How?" Me: "Well, everyone is begging for something, right?"

- I know that "Seventeen Moments of Spring" was Andropov's favorite film, but when signing a decree on awarding artists instead of the sick Brezhnev, he did not remember your name and wrote simply: "Muller".

- Probably, this is still not so, because when Lioznova took him three episodes to his dacha, she said that Andropov had heard my name.

Lack of information is complete blindness - those who are not informed find themselves in a very bad situation. For a long time I was not informed that she went to his dacha, but Andropov looked and said: “This is Plyatt, this is Evstigneev, this is Tikhonov, but this one, who looks like Churchill, the one who is Muller, who? Armored? I knew Bronevoy in Kiev - I was studying then, and a man with that name gave me shelter. He lived with him for two months, he fed and watered me - without him I would have died of hunger. "

- Awesome!

- It was my uncle, but I did not know! The same story as when he visited Dmitry Anatolyevich Medvedev.

- On your 80th birthday?

- Yes, he invited me to "Gorki", and when I told Dolina about this singer, she exclaimed: "You are an idiot!" None. " He was surprised: "How?" Me: "Well, everyone is begging for something, right?" - "Everything!". - "Well, I don't need anything." - "Do you have a dacha?" - "Dacha, Dmitry Anatolyevich, a normal person cannot have it - Putin, you or Luzhkov can have it." - "Why?". - "Because you have three-shift security, 50 machine gunners each, helicopters - it means that the house will not be burned and blown up," and Galkin built a dacha out of his stupidity ...

- In the village of Gryaz ...

- Yes, yes, and he will receive it in due time, when they give in. You can't do this! - this is possible in Germany, France, England, America, but not here.

- Is that how you explained it to Medvedev?

- Yes: I have a two-room apartment, he said, and I don't need anything else - he was very surprised.

- For the first time a German, and a high-ranking one, was portrayed as damn charming in Soviet cinema - I know that you even received letters: “Grandpa Mueller, we all really want to be like you,” wrote Baltic third-graders.

- Well, yes, but the Soviet government was, as you know, not very happy with this.

- There were a lot of jokes - about Müller and Stirlitz.

- And the most successful of them: “Stirlitz shot at Müller - the bullet bounced off. "Armor" - thought Stirlitz. So short, witty ... Tikhonov, by the way, did not like them. I said: “What are you, Slava? - you seem to be with humor. Anecdotes are an indicator of people's love: look how much about Chapaev. " No, he did not perceive them ...

- After "Seventeen Moments of Spring" nationwide fame fell on you - belated?

“Of course, but better late than never. How did I become an artist? Someday I have to write a book, or something: "An artist against his will." They didn't take it anywhere, well, nowhere! I wanted to be a diplomat - closed, a military school - closed, journalism - closed. Where can you? In the theater, but not in Moscow - the Moscow Art Theater School is not waiting for me either, so only after Tashkent tried to enter there.

“One newspaper wrote:“ How, after “Seventeen Moments”, this Bronevoy has become insolent! - does not even want to walk on stage, rides in a wheelchair and just got up once! "

- You, nevertheless, this glory, felt, felt crazy popularity?

- Probably yes, because I began to earn more, but I worked as a guest performer in the Moscow Regional Drama Theater, and there was such a wonderful director - Isidor Mikhalych Tartakovsky: his son is now the director of the Moscow Operetta. He invited me to play “Three Minutes of Martin Grow”, I played a disabled person in a wheelchair and only got up at the end, as one newspaper wrote: “How, after“ Seventeen Moments ”, this Bronevoy became insolent! - does not even want to walk on stage, rides in a wheelchair and just got up once! "

Once I say: “Isidor Mikhalych, I have a question for you. Explain to me: in the Theater on Malaya Bronnaya I play up to 30 performances a month, sometimes three a day - in the morning, afternoon and evening, and I get 98 rubles, and in your stroller I play this light role - and for one performance 69 rubles 75 you pay me kopecks. Five performances - 300 rubles: crazy money! Why?". Tartakovsky replied: “You know, I advise you never to ask this question to anyone else. Do you receive? Do you pay tax? Well, that's it! "

- You once admitted that you don't understand the origins of the popularity of Mueller's role in Seventeen Moments ...

- ...still. I didn't try to play on purpose - you can't play charming on purpose: I followed the text. What a wonderful phrase there is still! In a monologue, my hero says: “Those who are 10 today do not need us: they will not forgive us hunger and bombings, but those who now do not understand anything, they will talk about us as a legend, and the legend needs to be fed ... It is necessary to create those storytellers who will transform our words in a different way - the one that humanity will live in 20 years from ”.

- Today this film is often shown - do you watch it?

- No, I can't take it anymore! - and "Pokrovskie Vorota" too. They are showing, probably, so that the viewer will hate, or because there is nothing more to broadcast, but you cannot endlessly play "The Irony of Fate", "Seventeen Moments" ...

- ... "Gentlemen of Fortune" ...

- ... "Pokrovskie gates" - well, that's enough, create something new.

- Have you seen the color version?

- Disgrace! - but I don't blame Lioznova: she was paid, she needed.

- In the painted form, you personally became better?

- Much worse. Once I noticed that I was “studying” a red bandage with a swastika on the screen, and at this time there was a text - I skipped it, and besides, there were a lot of documentaries shot on black and white film. Well, "Zo-Lushka" can probably be made colorful and bright, but why is this film?

- In an interview, you admitted that you would not mind returning to Mueller again ...

- No, it's too late.

- But it was possible earlier?

- They say you never have to go back. So I returned to Kiev - I could not find my home: what good is that? I still don't understand where he went.

- You often played villains - why?

- Such a muzzle.

“Fatty, as Efros said?

- No, the structure of the face is not positive. Positive - for Strizhenov, Ledogorov, Kuznetsov ...

- ... and here - negative charm, right?

- Probably.

- Actor - female profession?

- Yes, the profession in which the main task is to please the viewer is female. A man should not, he has no right to live with the task of being liked, this is not his business - therefore, a terrible craft, female.

- I really love your Veliurov in "The Pokrovskie Gates" - in general, by and large, an amazing film, and over the years it gets better and better ...

- ...Yes Yes...

- ... what is your favorite movie role?

- I don't know, it's hard to say. All loved ones: when you work, you love, and then ... It's like childbirth: gave birth - and slowly forgot, put it into life.

“The first wife, Valya Blinova, died, and the daughter remained - four years old. I didn’t get married until she graduated from college, so as not to injure ”

- You once confessed: "I was a beggar, I lived in a communal apartment: only a cot and cockroaches - all that I had." I know that you even played dominoes to feed yourself ...

- Yes, on Tverskoy Boulevard in order to win a ruble, but I did not know the rule: if you won, you must continue on, you have no right to be frustrated. He was young, and explained to the old people that I really needed this ruble ... My first wife, Valya Blinova, died, and my daughter remained - four years old. I didn't get married until she graduated from college, so as not to injure, - what are you? - and I have been living with my current wife for 47 years, soon it will be half a century: she is wonderful!

- Was the poverty terrible?

- Terrifying, but a person gets used to everything, the ventricle becomes small: you eat a crumb - and there is enough for a day.

- In order to somehow survive, you heard that the poems of Uzbek poets were translated ...

- That's right, and even a couple high level were. Well, not the same as the one who translated Rasul Gamzatov - I forgot how he was.

- Naum Grebnev?

- Yes, yes, the Jew is so old, his wife is an artist - he translated: "It sometimes seems to me that the soldiers who did not come from the bloody fields ...".

- Naum Grebnev.

- What a wonderful translation!

- How did you translate from Uzbek? Did you know the language?

- By the word-by-line - I worked it over in the same rhythm. By the way, when I was a student, I worked as a radio announcer - there was no television yet. I opened the broadcast in Russian, and my friend, an Uzbek boy, in Uzbek, and one day he did not come, and five minutes past six - it's time to start! The authorities came running and asked: "Can you open it in Uzbek?" - "We need to practice." - "Once, go on the air!" I said, "Okay." Do you know how much time has passed since that time? About 65 years old, and that phrase stuck in my memory for the rest of my life.

I turned it on and said ( speaks first in Uzbek, and then translates into Russian): "Tashkent says, Tashkent time is such and such, we are passing on the latest news." Received 12 rubles bonus for being late, my young Uzbek, told him: "Well, you set me up well!" He could not have been able to speak Russian, because he spoke with an accent, but I remember the phrase with which he usually began.

"I have never been in show business and I will not: I can not stand idle talk!"

- They say you have a difficult character, and in one of your interviews you said: "I was born with a terrible feeling of self-doubt - I hate my eyes, my hands, my face." Are you Samoyed by nature?

- Yes, and although Zakharov was warned: “Don't take him: he is a difficult man, terrifying - you can't work with him, it's a nightmare!” Mark Anatolyevich is stubborn and never listens to what they say to him. Like Lyubimov, whom Vysotsky was asked not to take: "He's a drunkard!" “Well,” he replied, “there will be one more drunkard besides you, but a wonderful artist”.

- One more, one less ...

- Zakharov said something like that about me and accepted it, I thank him very much, and although I played very little for him, it doesn't matter how much - the main thing is that the theater is very good. Ush-li, unfortunately, Peltzer, Leonov, Larionov, Abdulov, Yankovsky ... Nightmare! - but this is not-necessary, that is, not-necessary - you simply cannot get away from this ( lights up nervously).

- The era is gone, right?

- Leaves - sleep-rows are already torn nearby.

- As far as I know, you are unsociable and don't like parties ...

- I hate! Neither - when I was not in show business and I will no longer: I hate idle talk! "I have a watch for 300 thousand dollars." - "And I have for 500 thousand": well, go to hell with your watch! “I bought champagne for four thousand euros” - well, drink it, and I'll buy it for 50 euros and drink it with pleasure. I do not understand this show business and do not want to understand.

- You once said: “I don’t like nice people” ...

“I don’t like those who are always smiling. There are those who do not leave their smile on their faces, and I want to ask: “What are you, if you make you angry? Probably scarier than gloomy? " Don't smile on purpose. Yes, I'm heavy, I went to my mother: she was not easy, and I am the same, and if I am stupid (by the way, sometimes I am, and very much), then this is my father, but talent and not a very sweet character - from my mother, I I feel this genetics.

- Nowhere to go ...

- Yes, and if they suddenly say something wrong, I explode like that! .. - And after five minutes I think: “What have I done? I had to answer quietly, but I yelled. " Then you definitely need to ask for forgiveness, apologize - it's so embarrassing! - but with age, fortunately, the strength to explode is no longer there.

- Can't stand injustice?

- Well, she's at every step, so you have to, Dima, transfer. You know, Chekhov did not like people, and I understand him: he saw them to their guts and showed them as they are - helpless, sometimes talking a lot.

- Empty ...

- Speaking nothing. What shameless Tolstoy, Lev Nikolaitch! - forgive me, Lord! Once Chekhov was visiting him, and he said to him: “You don’t need to write plays, you don’t succeed,” and poor Anton Palych decided: “I will not write any more.” If not for Nemirovich, who objected: “What are you doing ?! Just look: "Three Sisters" ( at first they failed in Alexandrinka. - L. B.), "The Cherry Orchard"...

- ... "The Seagull" ...

- ... "Uncle Vanya", "Ivanov" ... God be with you! ". Lev Nikolaich thought that the play "Living Corpse" was better, or what? Nothing like this! Do you know what I like about Tolstoy more than anything else, more than War and Peace?

“The Power of Darkness,” I guess.

- No, I do not like pathological ... Little fairy tale - "The Lion and the Dog": have you not read it?

- Not.

- They let the little dog go to the lion - at first she was wildly afraid of him, and he looked at her, ate the meat, and after a few days he began to leave the meat to her too. Then she began to command him, and when she died, the lion did not eat for three days and also died - this is such short tale, wonderful. In War and Peace I begin to get confused, I don’t understand Anna Karenina at all: what did he want? Show that women are prostitutes and that you can cheat on your husband? Well, okay, you don’t love your elderly spouse, but he’s a prominent politician, at least spare his name - what are you doing? And at the end of what did you lie under the train - what is it? I don’t understand Anna’s behavior, and I’m always on Karenin’s side.

- Do you remember how gorgeous Karenin Gritsenko was?

- And what he was in the play "On a Golden Day" - have you seen?

- He is generally a genius, in my opinion.

- Genius, genius! - but ended up in a mental hospital, poor fellow. He climbed into someone else's refrigerator, beat him, died ... People's Artist of the USSR, a great actor! - why are such finals so terrible?

- Peltzer's here too.

- On the other hand, any ending is terrible in itself, whatever it may be. Whether Belyavsky threw himself out of the window, or someone shot himself, or died peacefully in his bed - it doesn't matter: all the same, life is not endless, and death is a terrible thing. When I was standing at my mother's at Baikovo, I thought: how strange ... She, by the way, asked to be burned, that's why there is only an urn.

I asked one priest a question: “Explain to me - the human body is such that no electronics are thinner: veins, arteries, capillaries, liver, intestines, gallbladder, all this is connected ... Why create such an amazingly complex machine so that it can live? in this world for one minute? " He explained: “Well, actually, the Lord wanted to immediately make a person immortal, but then he realized that this is impossible: it would be terrible - for the person himself. Live for 500 years? Well, what are you, the person gets tired ... ". I asked him a question: “Why did God take Pushkin at 37, Lermontov at 26, Vysotsky at 42, and Kaganovich, who was killing people.

- Lived to almost 100.

- Yes, you sat and played dominoes? What's the matter? Is it that the devils win? " “Maybe,” said the priest. "There are many black angels against the Lord - apparently, sometimes they take over." - “Why, God doesn't interfere? After all, he decides how long whom to live? " In general, the priest could not answer all the questions, and I did not pry any more.

“In old age, life is so disgusting. Fighting death is a difficult thing. "

- You talked very interesting about Anna Karenina, and I know that women loved you very much, but Lyudmila Senchina told me that when you were filming with her in a bed scene in the film "Armed and Very Dangerous", you were too squeezed - surprisingly ( were afraid of how their spouse would react to this scene). Senchina still cannot understand what was happening to you then, according to her, even the operator suggested to you: "Leonid Sergeich, well, e-mine, can I show you?"

- Yes, I was not squeezed there: I took her breasts properly, when necessary.

- Liked?

- Well, big breasts, good, lay down on her - according to the role it was supposed to. By the way, Senchina and I almost crashed: there was a tarantass for two, we sat down - and the horse carried. I thought the end: there was a steel cable ahead, where to stop ... How I coped with that horse, I do not understand. I was scared, Luda was sitting on the right, the stroller was narrow.

- You are 85 years old: what is it like - the feeling of age with such clarity of mind? Here I am talking to you - and delighted, honestly! ..

- Well, Pushkin said: “Under old age, life is so disgusting” - how did he know that when he was 27-28 years old? I felt, probably, I saw it by my father, by my mother, by my uncle, who borrowed all the money from him and did not give it back. How does it feel? Of course, it’s not easy, it’s more and more difficult to work, but it’s impossible not to work in our country. Maybe, if I had starred in Hollywood, I would have been provided so that I would like to work, did not want to - did not work, but this is impossible with us.

- Do you want to live, Leonid Sergeevich? No fatigue?

- Sometimes there is, and a terrible one, but that does not mean that ... I would like to, I have a wonderful wife, which is why I live so long: she takes care of me like a child.

- Your father and mother, nevertheless, were long-livers ...

- And according to the laws of genetics, you must also live a long time.

- Not necessarily: Sasha Lazarev died at 73, and his parents lived to be over 90. This is not an indicator, you know?

- I still want you to live 120 years, and I sincerely wish you this ...

- Talent is a sense of proportion, which means that in how long to live, you need to know the measure. There is no need to go overboard in this, because it’s awful to hold out until you are helpless and can’t do anything. I think Belyavsky threw himself out of the window on purpose.

- I think so too...

- Because he was a strong guy, although they say that he lived on the third floor, but for some reason fell from the fifth and from the corridor, where the window sill is huge ... I don't know what it was, let them investigate ...

They are leaving, leaving, leaving ... I loved Oleg Ivanovich Yankovsky very much. ( Pause). Can you imagine, three days before his death, he sat down and made a list of whom he wants to give half a million rubles from his fund: Zakharov, Bronevoy, Yarmolnik, Lyubshin ... There were 10 people with whom he worked, and his widow Lyuda Zorina called : "Do you want to take the money owed to you?" - “How“ I don’t want to ”? I will be honored! When did he write this? " - “In three days”: what kind of person should you be, huh? - knowing that you are dying, think of others! At the last "Marriage" Yankovsky could no longer stand. I said: "Oleg Ivanovich, sit down, it doesn't matter here." - "Yes?". - "Well, of course. Sit down. " He sat down...

(Sad). The fight against death, Dimochka, is a difficult thing.

If you find an error in the text, select it with the mouse and press Ctrl + Enter

A man lathers his jeans:
- Nobody can be trusted, nobody! Even myself ...
Continues to lather.
- But I just wanted to fart ...

3 years ago

[best of the day] [top of the week] [best of the month] [random anecdote]

You can trust anyone.

You say you haven't read your poems to anyone yet?
- Nobody!
- Why do you have a black eye? ... ...

In one magical land, some kind people everywhere build luxurious palaces with special communications, which do not belong to anyone.

Once three colleagues got together. Well, we sat and accepted, as usual.
Then they added, then more ... I was drawn to revelations.
One says:
- You know, gentlemen, but in fact I often have the wife of our boss,
only ts-s-s ...
Another sadly confesses:
- And I, in fact, gay, although no one knows about it,
just nobody, nobody ...
And the third hesitates:
- Well, I don't even know how to tell you about this ...
Those two:
- Come on, come on, here are all yours, what is there!
- Yes, you see, - says the third - the fact is that I absolutely
can't keep secrets.

Don't answer anyone - when you're angry. Do not promise anything - when you are happy and do not decide - when you are sad ... And also, do not call anyone ... when you are drunk! (I know from experience)

Gagarin returned to Earth. Gala banquet in his honor. Brezhnev
takes him aside and asks:
- Well, is there a God?
- There is.

At a reception at the Vatican. Pope takes Gagarin aside and
asks:
- Well, is there a God?
- Not.
- I knew it, but don't tell anyone!

Well, first of all, a woman doesn't owe anything to anyone!
- Even if she took out a loan and issued a lease !?
- Certainly! Where did her man look when she took out a loan?
- Surely I looked at every skirt, you bastard!

You can't trust anyone. The saleswoman said that this vibrator will replace a man for me, but he lies in front of the TV all day - he will neither vacuum nor take out the garbage.

Tell us a little about yourself?
- I am the very useless "Friend" in the social network, who is not removed out of politeness.

Girl, I'm absolutely free!
- Wait, man, let's clarify - free or the hell nobody needs?

In the bath. There is a granny on the top shelf. A girl is standing below, rubbing herself with honey and admiring herself. Granny says to her:
- You are very beautiful, girl ...
- Yes, beautiful (so flirty)
- Probably, there is no end to the guys?
- Yes (even more flirtatious)
- And you don't give it to anyone, probably ...
- I don’t give it to anyone (proudly).
- Thenooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

And why was I thrown out of the train on the move? I sat quietly by the window, did not interfere with anyone, I poured foam on the glass ...

You are nervous. Poor man who will be with you.
- Yes, no one needs me!
- Well, that means they will write on your gravestone that no one was hurt.

A guy and a girl are walking. A man on a horse rushes by:
- Well, let's go stray!
The girl turns to the guy:
- I asked you not to tell anyone ...

Don't break anyone's heart, everyone has only one heart. Break bones - there are 206 of them.

A man walks into a restaurant, sits down at a table and beckons a waiter to him:
- Waiter, I would like three eggs!
- Eeeeh, and who would not want to ...

The man turns to her:
- I would like...
Receiver:

And he continues to read the newspaper.
- Sorry, but here ...

Receiver:

A man comes to the post office to send a parcel.
In the hall - not a single person, and the receptionist is reading the newspaper.
The man turns to her:
- I would like...
Receiver:
- Man, get in line!
And he continues to read the newspaper.
- Sorry, but here ...
- Man, did I not tell you clearly? Get in line!
Reads the newspaper further. Then the man got angry and spat in her face.
Receiver:
- What do you call yourself, boor! I'll call the police now!
- Why do you think it's me? Look how many people are here!

A man comes to the post office to send a parcel.
In the hall - not a single person, and the receptionist is reading the newspaper.
The man turns to her:
- I would like...
Receiver:
- Man, get in line!
And he continues to read the newspaper.
- Sorry, but here ...
- Man, did I not tell you clearly? Get in line!
Reads the newspaper further. Then the man got angry and spat in her face.
Receiver:
- What do you allow yourself, boor! I'll call the police now!
- Why do you think it's me? Look how many people are here!

Only beautiful numbers of passwords for entering Sberbank Online! Promotion from Sberbank for 1% of the transfer amount! And don't tell anyone your password!

You should not engage in cramming, denying yourself because of it in online games and parties with girls. These sines, logarithms, abscissas have never been useful to anyone in their life ...
- Excuse me, are you really a professor of mathematics?

What could be more reliable than your own speech? You say the words, many times, hear yourself - and then you are told that you were silent. And what is characteristic: they are right. You didn't really say anything. Alcohol, blackouts, etc. - all this has nothing to do with the situation. Are you okay. You are just participating in a scientific experiment.

People are put on a virtual reality helmet, they see a room with a mirror in it. There is an animated figure in the mirror that moves in sync with the participant. For example, a woman waves her hand, the figure in the mirror does the same. After five minutes, the woman has the feeling that she is seeing herself in the mirror. Then the main thing happens - the reflection begins to speak. The avatar's lips move, the woman's headphones are turned on. And yet, to enhance the effect, the plate attached to the larynx vibrates synchronously. Such an experiment was conducted with 44 participants, and they, as a rule, admitted that yes, they spoke the words themselves.

The person perfectly understands where he is. He is fully conscious. The fact that not only the body, but also the speech was included in the image of "I" is still unexpected. It is difficult to convince yourself that you are speaking words without the intention of speaking them. But the illusion worked. The voice of the avatar was selected so that it was higher in frequency than the voice of the participant. People then asked say the same words - and they did it, unconsciously raising the frequency. In other words, they brought their real voice in line with the virtual one.

The inclusion of the avatar in the image of oneself led to the fact that its actions were appropriated along with the avatar. The authors give the supposed logic of the brain: this is my body, I move it and I see it - it says, therefore, this is what I say. I guess the experiment [once again] tells us an important point: the brain craves causality. He does not tolerate uncertainty, it is hard for him in such a situation. As a result, such things as probability, quantum mechanics, chaos, etc. are difficult for people.

There is more and more evidence that the feeling of oneself and one's boundaries is very fluid. From the first experiments with a rubber hand, a whole direction has grown, where people are deceived more and more sophisticatedly. They look not only at how the perception of the body is changing, but also at the properties of the psyche, which seemed to be completely unrelated. Racial bias is a fashionable theme. Like: people who sincerely do not accept racism are subconsciously subject to it. Research is multiplying. But it turned out that racial bias can be changed with the help of RHI - the rubber hand illusion.

If you are white, the rubber hand may be black. Having lived through the illusion that the dummy belongs to you, you will at least temporarily become more tolerant of blacks. Instead of a cheap rubber hand, you can use expensive virtual reality. White sees himself as dark, and - oh, miracle - his attitude towards people with more dark skin is changing. In fact, it is not so surprising - prejudices are also more mobile than we think, and change with the external environment. About this some other time.

I think it's time to start thinking about how to create the illusion of ‘your’ thoughts. Usually a person is aware of what he is thinking at the moment. Is it possible to make him deceive about the content of his own consciousness? The subject is sure that he thinks "A", but in fact - does not think. At first glance, such an illusion is not forbidden and contains no contradiction. But in practice, I can’t imagine.

D.Banakou and M. Slater - Body ownership causes illusory self-attribution of speaking and influences subsequent real speaking- PNAS, 2014 [

Multi-part picture about a Soviet intelligence officer Maxim Isaeva, which took root in the higher spheres of the fascist Third Reich, is still one of the most popular Soviet films. Immediately after the release, all 12 episodes were taken away for quotes, and the main characters - Stirlitz played by Vyacheslav Tikhonov, and SS Gruppenfuehrer Heinrich Müller played by Leonid Bronevoy, became the characters of countless anecdotes. On the day the legendary film was released on TV screens, AiF.ru recalled several famous quotes from it.

1. - Of all people living on earth, I love old people and children most of all. (Stirlitz)

2. - They all want to be like the Fuhrer. (Stirlitz)

3. - All - scientists, writers, artists - are insane in their own way. They need a special approach. Because they live their own life, invented by them. (Stirlitz)

4. - How was it with Pushkin? "Oh yes Pushkin, oh yes son of a bitch!" Ay yes Stirlitz! (Stirlitz)

5. - In order to defeat the enemy, you need to know his ideology, right? And to learn this during a fight is to doom yourself to defeat. (Stirlitz)

6. - Stirlitz, and I ask you to stay. (Mueller)

7. - A counterintelligence agent must always know, like no one else, that in our time you cannot trust anyone, sometimes even himself. I can. (Mueller)

8. - Clarity is a form of complete fog. (Mueller)

9. - And at least once in my life I gave a thrashing to someone, huh? I am an old, kind man, about whom rumors are spread. (Mueller)

10. - I love the silent. If a friend is silent, it is a friend, and if an enemy, it is an enemy. I respect them. (Mueller)

11. - This is not nonsense, this is not even nonsense at all, mate Bittner. (Mueller)

12. - I know better where to start! (Mueller)

13. - In general, the case is rotten, but try to dig it. (Mueller)

14. - From old people all evil in this world. (Mueller)

15. - There is no future without the past. (Radio operator Kat)

16. - He slept deeply and calmly, but in exactly 20 minutes he will wake up. This is also one of the habits developed over the years. (Voice behind the scene)

17. - Stirlitz never rushed things. Endurance, he believed, was the flip side of impetuosity. Everything is determined by proportions: art, intelligence, love, politics. (Voice behind the scene)