How to be a mistress. How to be the perfect lover for a married man: rules and mistakes

Have clear expectations and understanding about your role in his life. You must realize from the very beginning that you will not be his number one. Don't expect him to end up leaving his wife (and if that's what you want, you'd better reconsider your motives in being his mistress). If you can clarify everything from the beginning, your beautiful romance will last much longer, and you will save yourself from unnecessary frustration and a broken heart.

  • At the beginning of a relationship, it can be helpful to briefly discuss each other's expectations. Let him know that you don't expect him to be your boyfriend and that your main interest is to have fun.

Make sure you are comfortable with a secret relationship. If you want to become a lover, you need to accept the fact that your existence will be kept a secret, and that, most likely, you will also have to hide your man from friends and family members. This means no cute joint photos, rare appearances and nondisclosure of personal life.

  • Perhaps you are satisfied with the lack of chances for serious relationship because you just want to have fun. Getting the right mindset right from the start can save you pain and frustration in the long run.
  • Think about possible consequences for his wife and children, if he has any. Chances are, you've already thought about this, but take the time to listen to your inner voice. If you are concerned about how your relationship will affect his wife and family, consider what this might lead to in the future. Will you be angry with a man? Will this affect your opinion of yourself? Make sure you are happy with your decision so that it does not negatively affect you in the future.

    • Since all situations are different, there is no definitive way to understand whether to end or continue this relationship. You will have to make this decision yourself, based on your own specific circumstances.
  • Develop other meaningful relationships and hobbies. Often times, being a lover means not having a companion for special events, and also spending the holidays alone. Prepare for this inevitability and make friends (and other romantic partners if you wish) to keep your life fulfilling and fun. You will have a lot of free time, which is great if you have hobbies and other activities that you invest in.

    • Being a lover can satisfy some of your needs, while leaving you time to focus on other relationships, your career, personal growth, or health.
  • Listen to yourself regularly to determine when to move on. Make sure to stay in tune with your feelings, needs, and desires. If you notice a growing boredom or resentment, it might be time to end the romance. Plus, if you find yourself dreaming of becoming your lover's new wife, chances are you are leading yourself to bitter disappointment. Protect yourself emotionally as much as possible by putting your own needs first.

    All universal advice,how to become a good lover are useless.

    It is impossible to become a sex goddess by reading “The 10 Most Effective Blow Job Techniques ...” or “How to Seduce Him: All the Tricks of the World”.

    All men are different, relationships are different and you, dear girls, are also all different.

    Therefore, you first need to deal with your desires and feelings. After all, you are not just looking forhow to be a good lover in bed, right?

    A simple algorithm will help you:study, talk and act!How does he work? Simple: take on these 8 essential steps from Kismia. And learn the secrets,.

    In search of techniques and techniqueshow to become a good lover in bed,often forget about the most important thing. Sex- not only body movements, but also the unity of the soul. Discover your partner and reveal yourself. This is the only way you will know what a man likes in bed, what turns him on.

    Forget about universal advice... Start with simple touches and observe the reaction. Women's intuition will tell you what to do next:

    • give a man a massage;
    • kiss and caress every inch of his body;
    • or ask openly about erogenous zones and pay more attention to them.

    Advice from kismia:

    • Don't try to embrace the immensity. Get to know a man with pleasure, slowly, especially if you recently met. And if you are an experienced spouse, do not follow the principle “I remember all your cracks”. Rediscover your husband for yourself.
    • Watch the film "Beauties in paris ”, And get inspiration from beautiful heroines.

    Talk

    “Don't take life too seriously. Happy couples laugh together. ”- Dr. Bea Jaffrey, clinical psychologist and psychotherapist from Switzerland.

    Openness is a trait of people who care about a healthy intimate life. Whatever interesting cases happen in bed, it is better to discuss them with a man than just close.

    In 2016, the scientific journal Journal of Sex Research published the results of a study in which 39 thousand couples participated. The data showed that the sex life is much better for those men and women who communicate with each other, are not embarrassed in awkward moments and sometimes poke fun at naughty situations.

    Advice from kismia:

    • Don't be afraid to tell your man about your desires and fantasies. Ask him the same thing. Correct sexual intercourse involves openness and honesty. Throw away embarrassment and bigotry! Be the one who makes his dreams come true.
    • It is better to talk to each other about sex than to talk to a therapist like “Mr. and Mrs. Smith ”.

    Tip # 3: Talk about feelings and ask about the man's feelings

    “Pleasing displays of attention and compliments are important in creating the right mood for sex,” says Dr. Bea Jeffrey.

    This advice is especially important for new relationships. Tell your partner how you felt what you liked the most. Mark how good you are with him.

    Ask the man what he wants the most. How he likes to have sex.

    Advice from kismia:

    • Just don't be too chatty. Between attention and idle chatter- abyss. It is important for a man to know that he is a skillful lover and you feel good with him. But there is absolutely no need to incessantly twitter about all the spectrum of sensations.
    • Don't stoop to gross flattery. Men do not tolerate deception and feel it as well as women.
    • If you don't know what to start talking about sex, read the book by Janusz Wisniewski and Zbigniew Izdebski “ ”.

    Take action!

    “The best things in life don't go according to plan.” - Lindsay Lohan, actress

    How to be a good loverfor a man? The recipe is simple: unplanned romantic evening, flirting and sensual sex. Initiate it often.

    Try to change places. Indeed, in the house, in addition to the bedroom, there is also a living room with a sofa or a kitchen. And by the way, no one has forbidden to take a bath together yet.

    Surprise a man with spontaneity in the morning. Caress him gently before he wakes up. What better way to start your day than morning sex?

    Advice from kismia:

    • If your fantasy fails you, be inspired by the immortal classics: read “Kamasutra”, see “9 ½ weeks”.
    • Show the man that you want him. Cast aside the prejudice that he must take the first step. Nothing will turn a guy on better than full of desire eyes and flirting on the verge of the forbidden.

    “I understand very well that a woman who is firmly confident in her beauty will eventually be able to convince everyone else of her,” - Sophia Loren, actress.

    Yes, you hear it everywhere. But a healthy body, pleasant appearance, an interesting and eventful life of a womanis a real magnet for men. Everything is closely interconnected. It is impossible to understandhow to become a good loverif you are out of tune with your body or not confident in yourself.

    Advice from kismia:

    • Do not avoid walking in the fresh air and exercise. Exercise improves blood circulation in the body, including the genitals. The desire to make love appears more often, and the mood improves.
    • Get to know your body and its capabilities. Read the book by Nina Brockmann and Ellen Steecken Dahl “Viva la vagina. Stop hushing up the hidden capabilities of an organ that is not usually called ”.
    • Be confident in yourself Men like in bed when a woman knows about her attractiveness and shows the best sides... Do not dwell on shortcomings, do not complex about the figure. If you behave confidently and relaxed in bed, the man will not notice the extra centimeters in the waist area.

    Tip # 6: Experiment and Be Spontaneous

    “Every night needs its own menu” - Honore de Balzac.

    Continue to be a good girl in a man's bed or show new facets and experiment? The answer is obvious!

    If you've been in a relationship for a long time, don't make sex a scheduled household chores. Change positions, watch porn movies together. Practice tantric sex or spontaneous, fast and passionate sex.

    Make love to music or massage each other. One more great option how to become a good lover and improve sexual experience- go to a sex shop together.

    Advice from kismia:

    • If you are embarrassed to suggest role plays or sex toys, start with unfamiliar positions.
    • Prepare for role-playing games in advance. Buy props, come up with an idea. Better do it together. Even the discussion of sexual fantasies is exciting.
    • To provoke each other, start witherotic board games , cards with wishes or play good old forfeits, but with a sexual connotation.

    “Sex is almost never just about sex.” - Shirley MacLaine, actress and writer.

    Don't worry that you don't have sex every day. Setting a task for yourself,how to be a good lover, a woman, a companion in life (and in bed too) for a beloved man, do not turn sex into a marathon.

    Better make your sensual fantasies come true and enjoy sex.

    Advice from kismia:

    • To make your partner feel more touched, blindfold him and gently caress your fingers and tongue. Try to bring him to orgasm without penetration.
    • Engage in sexual foreplay long before the act itself: send the man an erotic photo or SMS. Write that you want it, how you long for it. Excite periodically throughout the day. Then your boyfriend will simply burn out with desire in the evening. And sex will be more passionate than ever.

    Tip # 8: Appreciate your man and tell him about it

    “A man does not love the Woman herself, but his condition next to her,” - a quote from the Internet, with which we agree 100%

    It is important for a man to feel wanted and needed by a woman. Therefore, your main task is not just to tell him formulaic phrases. And to really admire and praise him:

    • thank you for the compliments and gifts;
    • say “I love” for no reason, just like that;
    • write cute little notes with confessions for no particular reason or reason;
    • hold his hand and show affection;
    • after orgasm, lie down, embracing, give each other a few more minutes of intimacy;
    • do not criticize a man during sex, etc.

    Advice from kismia:

    • Find out what “language of love” your man speaks, learn to express your feelings and understand him. Read “ 5 Love Languages ​​”by Gary Chapman.

    There are no difficult secret techniqueshow to be the perfect lover... Stop chasing mythical ideals of sexuality. Get to know yourself, your man, add a pinch of sharpness and novelty, be inspired good books and movies. And trust your intuition!

    Men are sure that the ideal woman should become the best mother in the nursery, a wonderful housewife in the kitchen and a super-mistress in the bedroom. In practice, many wives learn to be responsible mothers and to cook deliciously, but they believe that it is not necessary to be a passionate mistress. However, every woman should be able to drive her partner crazy.

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    The secret of the ideal lover is simple - the willingness to experiment in bed. Practical advice help any girl to become desirable.

    In bed, men - both single and married - want to escape from everyday life, relax and feel fresh emotions.

    To become an ideal lover for your husband or boyfriend will help a kind of further "Instructions for use", allowing you to achieve what you want:

    1. 1. A good lover needs to be a mystery to her partner, to make every meeting memorable. This will add zest and zest to the relationship.
    2. 2. A woman needs to study the desires of her partner and skillfully satisfy them, know how to caress him and what to say at the same time.
    3. 3. You have to be bold and sensual in bed, a seductress who does not hide her intimate desires and gives a man the opportunity to feel like a super-macho.
    4. 4. Do not be ashamed of your body - guys love with their eyes. Any of them will appreciate sexy lingerie and spontaneous or pre-planned striptease.
    5. 5. You need to be able to create a special atmosphere in the bedroom - scented candles and essential oils, beautiful and pleasant to the body linens, dim lighting and even erotic photos hung on the walls (you can from your own album).
    6. 6. From time to time it is necessary to surprise a man with an unusual dinner - savory dishes that kindle passion, or a dessert made of fruits and cream, served directly on the body of his mistress.
    7. 7. A skilled lover can prolong pleasure for a long time. For this, erotic massage, a slow and sensual study of each other's erogenous zones, role-playing games can be used.
    8. 8. After reaching the peak of pleasure, be sure to tenderly thank your man for this night of love.

    It should be borne in mind that representatives of the stronger sex are attracted by moderate looseness in bed. You don't need to give up experimentation, try new places and positions for sex, but you shouldn't constantly pretend to be a vamp woman.

    A girl should be not only good not only in bed. It is necessary to maintain the interest of a man and beyond:

    1. 1. Have a well-groomed appearance and be feminine in everything: in manners, attitude towards people, speech.
    2. 2. Share the interests of your lover.
    3. 3. Be an interesting conversationalist.

    Seduction of a married woman

    Ideal woman for representatives of different zodiac signs

    Astrologers claim that representatives of each sign have their own preferences in love affairs:

    Man sign Which women are attracted to him
    AriesAries love eccentric women. Rather, their reflection is temperamental and hot. Only such a girl can drive Aries crazy. After her, he will go to the ends of the world and will feel like a real man
    TaurusTaurus prefers girls with good looks and good character. A companion should share his interests and outlook on life. He does not tolerate vulgarity and consumerism towards himself.
    TwinsGemini love girls who are cheerful and easy-going. The representative of this sign will never get along with a business and constantly busy woman. They value wit, good intelligence, and mystery.
    CancerCancer is an incorrigible romantic. Therefore, becoming ideal for him is not so difficult. A woman next to such a man should be able to listen to Cancer and understand him
    a lionLeos prefer narcissistic, capricious, arrogant young ladies. But in a take off relationship, you shouldn't try to outshine your partner. If Leo loves, then he treats his soul mate as a true jewel.
    VirgoFor Virgo man perfect woman will become one who has order not only in the house, but also in the head. They are demanding of their chosen ones. A girl should be able to dilute the strict life of a Virgo with light pleasant excitement.
    scalesAn atmosphere of harmony, tranquility and balance is important for Libra.

    We've been told about what a man loves with his eyes for so long that we were completely confused. But what about our folds? Tummy? Imperfect breast shape? Relax. In fact, a man evaluates "the whole picture", so it is not at all difficult to appear before him in a winning light. So how to be the best in bed? Everything is very simple.

    Of course, the first thing you need to do is to leave your complexes outside the marital bed. They not only prevent us from relaxing and having pleasure, but also spoil the mood of men: instead of admiring us, they have to grope us under the covers in pitch darkness. “I don’t understand my Marina,” admits 35-year-old Igor. - When we go to parties with friends, she behaves relaxed, dances with pleasure. Why is she shy in the bedroom? "

    As many men admit, it is not important ideal figure(it does not exist in nature), but the ability to beautifully arch the back, take an erotic pose (the more indecent, the better), pull back the socks and charmingly bite the lower lip. Look closely at the actresses in the sex scenes. Often they are not skinny with parameters 90-60-90. But you probably do not notice the total, because erase not on the figure, but on the forms, curves and quivering breasts that demonstrate genuine passion. I can assure you: a man also sees no flaws when a really hot woman is in front of him. Now let's see how to apply this knowledge in practice.

    When you're on top

    The “rider” pose is loved by many women for its convenience and the ability to independently control the depth of penetration, rhythm and tilt. In this position, you find yourself facing a man, and he has the opportunity to admire you, caress your breasts, stomach and thighs and look you in the eyes. Once on top, lean back a little - this will not only improve friction and please you and your man, but also lift your breasts a little and make them taller and firmer. You can also suck in your stomach and try to tighten your intimate muscles - your partner will definitely appreciate this. By the way, such a simple thing as pulling in the abdomen, in addition to its aesthetic function, significantly enriches your sensations - the front wall of the vagina automatically strains, allowing you to "grip" your partner's penis more tightly.

    Once in bed from above, try to change the angle, turning your back to your partner. This allows for deeper penetration. The woman has a convenient opportunity to additionally stimulate the testicles and perineum of her partner, while the man in the meantime can examine the thin waist of his beloved. Another bonus: in this position, you don't have to worry at all about how you look from the front. You can finally relax, close your eyes, twist your face heartily and, if you want, caress yourself.

    When the man is behind

    Firstly, according to statistics, this position is the best and favorite for most men. Secondly, you will always look perfect in it. The fact is that when you are bent over on your knees, the skin on your buttocks and thighs smoothes, and your waist takes on a sharper outline. The rear view is amazing. Do not forget to bend your back properly in the lower back. So you make it easier for a man to access intimate areas, and besides, you look much more exciting.

    When you lie on your back

    The position "man on top" in different variations (when the partner is lying, hanging over you on his elbows or kneeling) has always been considered very gentle, you look into each other's eyes, hug and you can whisper intimate. Lying on your back, raise your hands above your head - this will visually raise your chest, in addition, such a gesture will provide closer friction of the body against the nipples. Try to raise your pelvis a little to increase the pressure on your clitoris. Remember, the more a woman's knees are apart in this position, the deeper and stronger frictions a man can perform.

    Oral sex

    If you love the 69 position, do not forget to take care of an intimate hairstyle in advance. According to a poll conducted by the American magazine Playboy, 60% of men prefer short-cropped pubic hair to the "natural" look, 20% like a neat "path", and almost 70% adore the complete absence of hair in the bikini area, which opens the most exciting survey of women charms. Many women are embarrassed by the appearance of their "open" genitals, and it is in vain - there is little that can arouse a partner so quickly and strongly.

    "Naked" pubis will not only like your man, riveting all his attention, but will give you new sensations. If you have never tried to completely get rid of hair, then by all means appreciate how aggravated your sensations will be.

    After sex

    If you have already tried to adopt advantageous angles during lovemaking, then you probably felt that they are able to please not only your partner, but first of all you: you become more self-confident, more aroused and more fully surrendered to the process. What about outside the bedroom? Visual stimulants are worth remembering outside of it too. Maintain your posture, grace and fluidity of movement, highlight your dignity with clothing and cosmetics, and remain desirable in all circumstances.

    EXPERT OPINION:

    Evgeny KULGAVCHUK, sexologist, psychotherapist, vice-president of the Russian Association of Sexologists

    What are the benefits we get when we let go of sex constraint?

    Openness is an important part of love. If a woman is shy, she becomes less emotional, and a man perceives this as insufficient sincerity. In such situations, men often develop an anxious expectation of failure syndrome. A woman should not constantly plan how the best will be in bed. You just need to be confident and enjoy the closeness of each other.

    What does a man pay attention to during sex?

    For most men, the whole perception of the picture is important. Few men, during intimacy, will consider a woman's body as meticulously as a woman can. Believe me, a man doesn't care about all parts. female body separately. He perceives only a "general picture" in which passion, sincerity of feelings, and expression of genuine pleasure are important.

    What would you advise a woman if complexes about her appearance prevent her from having fun in bed?

    After, in an individual conversation with a man, I identify the "map" of his sexual stimuli, I convince the woman with full responsibility what she needs to do and what not. Those who trust and risk changing the multi-year scenario often celebrate their second "honeymoon". Often a good help is the use of additional accessories: stockings, shoes, boots, a new hairstyle. Sometimes it is enough to turn on the light - and new sensations are provided ...

    How to bring his orgasm closer

    Change the position to a "deep" one so that the head of the penis is stimulated by the cervix with each friction. This is achieved in the knee-elbow position, as well as in the "hussar" position, when you lie on your back and your legs are draped over your partner's shoulders.

    Achieve closer contact by squeezing your legs tightly. The effect will be unambiguous.

    How to delay his orgasm

    Ask your partner to move more slowly.

    Relax your vaginal and abdominal muscles.

    Take a position that prolongs intercourse, for example, become a "rider", lie on your side with your back to your partner, or sit in a chair facing each other.

    Take a short break by switching to petting.

    Little tricks

    Turn off the night light and light the candles - dim flickering lighting hides small defects and presents us in the most favorable light.

    The correct shine in the eyes and a slight "haze" can be achieved with a glass of champagne. If for some reason you are ashamed of the shape of your breasts - leave the bust-halter on yourself.

    If you are curvaceous, pay attention to the positions in which you are on top. You can lean on the pillows or on your partner's bent knees if you wish. When choosing new underwear, listen to your man's opinion.

    The look of half-veiled nudity is exciting for 72% of men. Leave your shirt or stockings unbuttoned.

    Let your hair down before heading to the bedroom. This is exciting!

    Is it possible to make your beloved man dream only of you alone? How quickly to ignite desire in him and - most importantly, not to let it go out? You can master this art!

    You so want to be the one and only for your man, to become the ideal lover and give him magical sensations. After all, it is so important that in bed you not only give each other pleasure, but also become more intimate and open. How to make your every night fabulous? This fine art you can learn.

    Sensuality in a woman awakens over time. And if you want, you can develop it. You will have to work on yourself, abandon the usual scenarios of behavior in bed. So what is so special about an ideal lover?

    1. Enjoys sex. She makes love not at all out of a sense of duty and not in order to keep the "lustful male". She responds to every touch and is ready to bestow her partner with bold caresses. Attraction cannot be faked: when a man feels that he is making a sincere desire in his girlfriend, this is the best compliment for him.

    2. Loves himself. A real seductress knows her own worth, realizes how attractive she is. Perhaps a picky critic would find her proportions far from ideal. But such a woman knows how to emphasize her dignity and presents herself as a gift. She has no doubts: anyone will feel dizzy from the fact that she is near. And this confidence is passed on to others. Her partner does not have to listen to lamentations about

    3. Looks after himself. Agree, it is difficult to imagine a sex diva in a stretched terry robe and torn slippers. Of course. It is not fancy lace underwear or stiletto heels that makes a desirable woman. Just remember that the natural smell clean skin, the fresh scent of hair acts magnetically on men.

    4. Knows what he wants. Unlike many young ladies, in bed, the ideal lover does not at all try to reproduce exciting scenes from romance novels or "downhole" moments of porn films. Everything is much simpler: she directly asks the man what kind of caresses he dreams of. And in the process, he sensitively reacts to every moan of a partner, movements of his body, rhythm of breathing - that's why the result is so impressive.

    5. Intriguing. People quickly get used to each other, and the intensity of passions inevitably falls, even if nature has endowed you with a stormy temperament. Therefore, it is so important to be able to awaken the imagination of the satellite, to pique it. Imagine: today you are a liberated hetaira, and tomorrow you are a funny graduate of the Institute of Noble Maidens. Next to such a friend, a man will also have to change his role, trying on different images. The game will definitely bring variety to the relationship.

    7. Constantly improving... She is interested in the sexual side of relationships, tries to keep abreast of new trends, reads quality literature on this topic. Have you ever heard of special exercises for developing and strengthening intimate muscles? Try to master this kind of gymnastics - and you will experience a completely different range of sensations during sex.

    8. Knows how to keep the conversation going... It only seems that in bed, the ability to think is completely useless, you need not a head, but completely different organs. A few minutes following a bright ending can bring a couple closer together or, conversely, push lovers away from each other. If, right after orgasm, you suddenly tell a relaxed man: "You know, and my previous one was more inventive than you," you are unlikely to leave pleasant memories of yourself. A gorgeous woman is distinguished by the ability to be silent when necessary, and, conversely, to defuse the atmosphere with a joke at the right time.

    9. Respects his freedom... A self-confident diva is unlikely to bombard her lover with sentimental SMS-kami and fill up his mailbox with delicate postcards. Don't make big plans right after the first night: a real man will not give in to pressure and will not want to become a victim of manipulation.

    10. Admires a man... Next to the ideal lover, he feels like a real hero. Emphasize how good you are in your partner's company! Let him feel like a champion in bed and not only. Who would voluntarily give up such a sensitive and understanding friend?

    Try to get rid of complexes. tightness, forget about the sexual stereotypes that have been instilled in you since your youth. Each couple develops their own rules of behavior in bed, determines the measures of decency. decides what is permissible in sex and what is strictly forbidden. And this can only be achieved by experience. So fantasize, experiment! Listen carefully to your body, follow its reactions - it will not deceive you. And, of course, be sincere with your partner, only under this condition can you truly understand and feel each other.