HUSBAND AND WIFE - FRESH FUNS ABOUT THE FAMILY - Diesel Show is the best | HUMOR ICTV family life Part 4. Husband and wife jokes / Funny jokes about family life Part 2. Family Jokes - wife and husband: about love and relationships - diesel show | Diesel studio Ukraine HUMOR ICTV # jokes Anecdote about 15 years of family life! Bummer after the first wedding night. Funny stories about family life THE BEST FOR THREE Lyuba and Arkasha: vines about family life! A selection of the best vinesFunny - humor and positive family life, funny moments Diesel show Ukraine June jokes about familyHow relations in the family are changing: a song about a happy couple - Diesel Show - issue 8, 11.03Jokes from family life))) Husband and wifeFamily jokes. The beginning of a life together A joke about family life Collection: Anecdotes about family life. Husband and wife. Part 1. Fierce jokes 80LVL

Agree, if the family has a lot of fun, every day you want to return home faster in order to get a portion there. Have a good mood... When everyone in the family tries to play a trick on each other, in such a family they rarely quarrel, and all problems are solved very simply.

Reading family jokes, I realized how funny family life can be for some people. Almost every funny anecdote about a family has an extraordinary incident in which I would like to take part.

Funny jokes about family life

Family life is not only about husband and wife. Most often, when reading funny anecdotes about family life, we come across other members of the family nest, who also want to grab some of their attention. Such cases are very clearly shown in funny comics about the family. However, if you like text humor, you will only need to browse funny jokes about family life.

Funny jokes about father and son

When a son grows up in a family, the father has a serious responsibility in his correct upbringing so that a man later grows out of him. This sometimes translates into serious conversations in which the share of seriousness is minimal. Such comical situations are obtained from the conversation that they can immediately be laid in the basis of the genre. funny jokes about father and son.

In funny jokes about his son, we see how the father tries to delicately explain everything, and how he fails. When, in hilarious jokes about father and son, Dad tries to use a non-standard approach to communication, this will certainly lead to the embarrassment of his son.

Jokes about daughter

If in jokes about a boy's son you can sometimes cause paint to be unpleasant with unpleasant conversations, then try to imagine the reaction of your daughters. Well-mannered, chaste. Oh so cool jokes about daughter just worth its weight in gold. The shyness of the girl is so traced in them that it simply cannot but cause laughter, looking at the clumsy attempts to talk.

However, some funny jokes about mother and daughter show quite the opposite. The mother is trying to teach something, but it turns out that the daughter has known this for a long time. By the way, there are enough similar situations in funny anecdotes about my daughter.

New jokes about mothers

Someone may notice that in a family, the mother bears all the responsibility for family life. Someone will agree with this judgment, some will not. If you read new jokes about mothers, you can see both confirmation and refutation of this thesis.

In general, the role of the mother is well seen in the hilarious cartoons about the family. Of course, even in new anecdotes about mothers, the problem will be shown distorted, with humor. However, it is humor that helps to solve many family troubles, if other means no longer help.

A good deed will not be called a marriage - says one evil aphorism... Its author - Lev Landau - if he is right, then only partially. Of course, in our difficult times, the number of divorces is growing, but I want to believe that everything is not so gloomy. There are still families where happiness flourishes, where respect for family life and marriage is instilled from an early age. In such families, as a rule, love, mutual respect, attentiveness and ... humor reign. Yes, yes, it is this attitude towards family problems - with humor - that can help achieve harmony in the family.

As for the aphorisms, there are a great many of them about marriage, and only your choice, which of them to listen to, and which is better to ignore.

Some phrases and quotes about family include educational notes and set you on the right path, and some describe family life in a comic form - not always fair, but always fun.

Funny and short love quotes in pictures

Well, now these same phrases about family life, but in words. Suddenly you want to put some of the quotes in the status.

• A happy marriage is a marriage in which the husband understands every word that the wife does not say.
• A family is a group of people who are linked by blood ties and quarreled about money issues.
• Alimony is an expiation of sins with an eighteen-year installment plan.
• The child is the most effective weapon of female terror.
• Marriage is the main cause of divorce.
• A widow is a woman who no longer finds a single flaw in her husband.
• The head of the family is the one who decides which TV program to watch.
• Children are creatures who are not allowed to do what their parents did when they were the same age.
• Parents are so simple devices that even children can operate them.
• A developed child is a child whose questions parents cannot answer.
• Darling - perfect man who are being married to make a completely different person out of him.
• The mother-in-law is the mother of the ideal son who is terribly unlucky with his wife.
• A beloved woman is the one to whom more suffering can be caused.
• A child is the only thing in the house that has to be washed by hand.
• Happy couple: he does what she wants and she does what she wants.
• Marriage is a union between a man who cannot sleep with a closed window and a woman who cannot sleep with an open window.
• The lover is the second disappointment of a married woman.
• The honeymoon ends when the dog brings the slippers to the husband and the wife begins to grumble.
• The ideal wife is a wife who is loyal to you and is so affectionate to you as if she is unfaithful.
• The husband is the master of the house until the wife comes.
• A wife is a creature who complains that she has absolutely nothing to put on and has nowhere to keep her things.
• A husband is a man who always forgets your birthday and never misses an opportunity to name your age.
• Ideal husband: a man who is smart enough to make money and not smart enough to spend it.
• Marital happiness is the art of being together, almost as happy as one could be alone.
• The wedding ring is the first link in the chain.
• The perfect gift for a man who has everything - a woman who knows what to do with it all.
• A teenager is a child who is already able to dress himself if he remembers where he threw his pants.
• Divorce is a step towards relapse.
• A wedding is the end of the beginning and the beginning of the end.
• Marriage is the only union that can only be withdrawn by dissolving the entire organization.

I once knew a lot of jokes and anecdotes about women's headaches, fatigue and how it prevents their husbands from enjoying life. Then I got married, and it turned out that all these were not jokes ...

When I was single, I was very afraid of married life ... - And now? - Now I am convinced that I was not afraid in vain ...

Before I got married, I had no idea that it would be wrong to put milk in the refrigerator. I talk to two friends: - Can you imagine, today only three days have been registered, and my wife, under threat of leaving, demands that I stop drinking! - Yes ... It's hard for you ... - Yes ... It's hard ... I will miss her very much ...

Women's logic: - We seem to live well, but still it seems to me that he married more successfully than I got married.

Here is Svetka a fool! - Why? - Married a loser. - Why is he a loser? - And what, is it luck - to marry a fool?

The wife says to her husband: - Honey, and we will be today ... Husband: - Oh, dear, I want to devour something first ... Wife: - Well, what an animal you are all the same!

Today, at last, you will not reproach that I cook poorly. -Truth? What do we have for lunch? - Nothing...

Husband, having come home from work in the evening: - Honey, where is my lunch? - In the cookbook, page 33.

The wife in the kitchen shouts to her husband: - Darling, would you like this dish: “Selected pieces of venison and roe deer with light pineapple sauce in an amazing transparent guinea fowl broth”? - Oh-oh-oh, Darling! Are you going to cook this mom now? - No, I read the inscription on a can of cat food, which Vaska bought for our cat today.

The husband asks his wife: - Darling, please tell me where the tea is? I can't find him in any way. - Oh, how helpless you are! Tea in the medicine cabinet, in a can of cocoa with a sticker "salt"!

Tell me honey, why do you make different sizes of meatballs? - But, my dear, you yourself asked to somehow diversify our food.

Wife to husband: - I'm warming your soup for the second time. The plate is on the table, go eat it. - Yes, let him stand - he won’t be offended. - If you ask for sex, I will answer you in the same way ...

On Sunday morning, neither husband nor wife wants to get up first. The husband can not stand: - Honey, do you want coffee? - With pleasure! - Then bring me a cup too.

The wife is cooking something in the kitchen, the husband is looking in the room. Electricity is suddenly cut off. Wife from the kitchen: - Dear, what happened? - Probably, the traffic jams flew out. - So why are you sitting? Run, catch!

Wife to husband: - Dear, throw out the trash. - Not today. Something broke today. - the husband answers. - Well then, eat at least ... - It would always be like this: if you don't want to take out the garbage, then the alternative is to eat! - the husband was delighted. - But the garbage must be disposed of somewhere. - said the wife.

The husband makes a compliment to his wife: - Darling, you are as beautiful as these flowers! “I thought I was as beautiful as a gold bracelet. - Not! You are beautiful, like these flowers ...

A man complains to a friend: - My wife all day only talks about rags. That's how he says: "You are a rag, not a man!"

Put everything neatly in the closet! - How neat is that? - This is when you open the closet, and nothing falls out of there.

Finally, the alarm woke me up. - How? - My wife hit me on the head with it.

Husband and wife are going to work in the morning, they are late. The wife turns to her husband: - Dear, make the bed! - And what, she ran out of gasoline?

A married couple brags to their neighbors: - We have finished a very expensive renovation in the apartment. And tomorrow they will come to us to set the alarm. - Alarm? Are you afraid that your repairs will be stolen?

What time will you be home? the husband's wife asks. - It's time to remember that on Fridays I come home on Saturday. - the husband answers.

Dear, it seems to me that you love me less and less ... - Well, that you are dear, in general I love you just the same as before. It's just that the density of love per unit of weight is gradually decreasing ...

A man sits in the kitchen with a pensive look. The wife asks: - What are you thinking? - Yes, so about his ... - You should have thought of mine at least once!

Husband and wife are discussing the topic of commercial sex. “Could you give yourself to a stranger for a hundred dollars?” - the husband asks. - What am I to you a prostitute, or what? - the wife is indignant. - And for a thousand you wouldn't give up? - the husband was delighted. - What am I a fool to you, or what? - the wife was indignant again.

An agitated woman comes to her family doctor and complains: - Doctor, help me, my husband suffers from insomnia and all the time he sees all sorts of horrors, can he try to give him some potent sleeping pill? Without looking up from his notes, the doctor: - Try to give him for a start ...

Husband and wife before going to bed: - Dear, wish me something pleasant for the night. - Bon appetit, dear!

Tonight, Lucy, you and I will do what we cannot do ... - Divide by zero, or what?

The wife says to her husband: - Let's play role-playing games! Husband: - Come on! Wife: - Who do you want to be? Husband: - Goldfish! Wife: - Why? Husband: - More than three times will not work ...

The husband and wife are lying in bed. Wife: - Dear, take me ... - Sleep, dear, we are not going anywhere.

Husband and wife under the covers: - Darling, what's so tight? - And I folded it in half!

Wife to husband: - Dear, my tummy is growing. I think I'm pregnant. - Oh, well, yes! I even know who the father is. - Who? - Bakery plant!

Help! My wife is starting to give birth! - Please calm down! Is this her first child? - No, stupid, it's her husband!

At the maternity hospital, a nurse asks a colleague: - Is that how loudly those four twins who were born today are yelling? - Not! This is their father ...

A man comes to the hospital. The doctor told him: - Jump with happiness, your fours were born! - I would have jumped, but there will be no sense: first floor, low ...

A man comes to the hospital. A nurse comes out to him: - You have a boy, 3700. He takes out his wallet: - Look! boy and not expensive ...

A man comes to the doctor: - What happened? - My wife has a sore throat, what should I do? - Go home at 3 am. - Will it help? - Certainly! This is a fail-safe method, I tested it myself.

Recently, in a conversation with my wife about money for my "happiness is not money," my wife clarified: "Money is not a hindrance to happiness."

The wife, all in tears, says to her husband: - For three whole weeks I kept telling you that you don’t need to give me anything for my birthday, but you still forgot about it !!!

Why did you give your wife such a beautiful and expensive set? - What do you mean why? Now she won't let me get close to the sink!

Wife to husband: - Darling, am I fat? - No, you're uniform. - I am fat? - Not. - But losing weight would not hurt, right? “I like you like that.” - But I do not cause delight, right? - You cause delight. - But not mad, huh? ..

Cool statuses and aphorisms about a happy family life

Marital happiness is when the wishes of the wife coincide with the size of the husband.

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Do not think about who is in charge in the family - you or your wife. You'd better not know it.

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Marriage is about patience. Moreover, each spouse is sure that it is he who endures.

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HAPPY FAMILY LIFE is when the words "WIFE" and "FAVORITE" refer to the same WOMAN.

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Any marriage is concluded by calculation - after all, everyone expects to find their happiness in it.

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No villas, yachts, limousines ... No proud glance, no muscle wall ... Nothing paints a MAN as near ... Clever - WIFE !!!

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A typical married couple: they soar each other's brains, then mate after reconciliation!

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A married woman is always expected at home: Little Chekupila and Big Chepoyat.

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Marriage, marriage and family relations are a socially thought-out system for the redistribution of material wealth from husbands to their wives and then to their children.

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Family happiness rests on three elephants:
1. Never tell your husband what your mother told you.
2. Never tell your mother what your husband told you.
3. Never, To anyone, Do not say anything about what is happening at your home.

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The prehistoric times are considered the best period of family life.

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If a woman is happy in the house, then the whole family is happy too!

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We live quietly: the dishes ran out.

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Beauty requires sacrifice. I am Beauty. The husband is the Victim!

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You can't find happiness in marriage if you don't bring it with you.

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Family happiness requires love, patience, understanding, two televisions and two computers with the Internet.

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The Secret of a Happy Family Life --- Remains a Secret!

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A good family is one in which the husband and wife forget that they are lovers during the day and that they are spouses at night.

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Children are interested in the question: where does everything come from? Adults - where does it go?

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Today in our family in the morning complete harmony reigns: the baby took "Vrednolin", mom - "Stervozol", and dad - "Papazol". Everyone is happy.

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It makes no sense to give a recipe for family happiness. Each family has its own set of products!

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The hearth is the place where, day after day, the wife prepares her husband.

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All families are divided into two types: in some the wives decide everything, in others the wives allow their husbands to think that they are the decisions.

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In a happy family, the wife thinks that the money comes from the bedside table, the husband thinks that the food is taken from the refrigerator, and the children think that they were found in cabbage.

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THE KEY TO FAMILY HAPPINESS is when the pomegranate is in the husband's panties, and the ring is on the wife's finger ...

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Marital status - Favorite "INFECTION"

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And I love a married man ... Married to me ...

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The only real happiness in this world is a happy marriage.

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Family happiness happens when the wife does not have time to spend the money that her husband earns.

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Happy is he who is happy at home.
L.N. Tolstoy

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As long as the husband is hammering enough, the wife is not sawing.

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Motto happy family: Your dreams are my worries!

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If the family is not filled with children's screams, they are more than compensated by adults ...

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A woman is happy when she sees the smiling eyes of her husband and knows that she is the cause of this joy.

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A happy marriage is a marriage in which the husband understands every word that the wife does not say.

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When a conflict situation develops in the family, immediately ask each other a question: "Do you want to be Right or Happy?"

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All my family life I could describe in two words - it happens, damn it ...

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In family life, the main screw is a bolt.

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So that family life would last happily ever after, the last word in a dispute, there should always be a man behind, and it is better if the last word is: "yes, dear"