Psychologists say that many problems in a woman's life arise because she is too critical of herself, does not love herself. We often hear, “Love yourself. And everything in life will get better! But it's easier to say these words than to put them into practice. However, with a strong desire, you can raise your own self-esteem and love yourself in a short time.

First of all, it is necessary to define what it is - self-love. Many confuse it with narcissism and narcissism, when a person considers himself the "center of the universe" and thinks that everyone else is obviously worse than him. Loving yourself does not mean being selfish. These two feelings have nothing to do with each other.

True self-love is acceptance of your identity. You accept yourself, your character, your body and love, despite all the shortcomings. This is a modest and natural feeling that allows you to live without tension and feel like a happy person.

There are several signs of high self-esteem:

• Self-confidence in any situation
• Respect for your deeds and actions
• Feeling of lightness and happiness
• You live in harmony with yourself

If you only want to achieve all this, you need to learn how to love yourself.

Steps towards love

A sense of love and self-respect can be cultivated in oneself. To increase your self-esteem, you need to perform specific actions and control your feelings and emotions. Here are a few simple steps to start building your own self-esteem.

Kindness to yourself.

Be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up over the little things. Stop thinking about your shortcomings. All these thoughts should simply be thrown out of your head and not allowed to appear. From the day you decide to love yourself, all you need to say to yourself is compliments and nice words. In no case should you scold yourself for your appearance, since it does not always depend on us.

Many women reproach themselves for past mistakes. But it should be understood that admitting a mistake is already a big plus. What's the point of scolding yourself that a long time ago you did this and not otherwise? It is better to be kind and forgive yourself, not dwell on past mistakes and recognize them as invaluable life experiences.

Stop negative words and thoughts!

Our subconscious takes seriously all the words and thoughts that we send it. Stop thinking that you are ugly or fat, otherwise you will be like that. All negative thoughts and words should be immediately blocked. It often happens that we talk badly about ourselves in front of other people, subconsciously expecting compliments from them. Under no circumstances should this be done. It is better, looking at yourself in the mirror, to think about the good and compliment yourself.

Analysis of relationships with people

In life, we are surrounded by many different people. The advice of a psychologist says: you need to communicate only with those who do not cause negative emotions in you and do not bring negativity into your life. It is difficult to do this, but it is quite possible to achieve your goal. Instead of communicating with people you don’t like, it’s better to be in the company of yourself - it will be much more valuable and productive. Don't be afraid to change your social circle. After all, there are probably people in your environment, next to whom the soul rejoices and flourishes, and the mood rises.

The ability to say "no"

If you don’t have a heart for something, then you shouldn’t do it. Naturally, this does not include your daily duties: work, study, housework, activities with children - there is no escape from this. And there are things that you do without urgent need and without desire.

Actions during which you have to sacrifice your principles and desires lead to a decrease in your self-esteem. Your authority in your own eyes and self-respect are falling, you stop loving yourself. Most often, we do such actions when we do not want to offend or disappoint someone. For example, we go to a party, just so as not to upset the one who invited you, we buy an unnecessary thing, so that the seller is not offended.

You need to learn to say "no" to those people and things that you don't like. The main thing is not to feel guilty about it. You should do only what you want, showing love and respect for your own desires. Do not be afraid that someone will be offended by you. Learn to tactfully refuse and respect personal boundaries.

Love for your appearance

Look at yourself in the mirror and try to understand: do you love your face, your body? Do you accept yourself for who you are? You need to love your age, your weight, your figure, habits, character. It is difficult to find a woman who considers her figure and appearance ideal. Almost everyone sees flaws in themselves, sees their body as imperfect and wants to correct it.

For women, love for your body is especially important. Since childhood, most people have been given the idea that our figure is something imperfect that needs to be corrected. No one has canceled work on oneself, but one should not reach fanaticism in this and strive for perfection with all one's strength. This is an ongoing process. Extra pounds will go away - wrinkles will appear, cellulite will be replaced by gray hair and so on.

But in fact, our body is a gift that needs to be loved and cherished. Having fallen in love with your reflection in the mirror, you will very soon be convinced that the problem of excess weight is gone or no longer bothers you, and wrinkles and gray hair do not make you older than you are. Over the years, the body undergoes natural changes that cannot be stopped. Youth, maturity and decay are inevitable stages in the development of any living organism. If you constantly worry about it and look for every new wrinkle, then self-esteem will plummet.

Instead, you need to choose to enjoy your appearance, your face, body, hair. Your body really wants love, so take care of it, and it will be grateful to you.

Council the first. Getting to know your own body. To do this, you need to completely undress, stand in front of a mirror and carefully examine yourself. This time, you do not need to look for flaws and imperfections in yourself, you must make sure that your body is beautiful. To enhance your emotions, run your hand over your skin, feel its softness and velvety, consider the smooth curves, dimples and bulges.
Find the part of your body that you like the most and admire it, touch it. For example, you have a large chest, or a thin waist, or even beautiful collarbones - it can be anything. Turn around in front of a mirror to take a closer look at your beauty from all angles.
This exercise should be done twice a week. Gradually, you will not only get used to your body, but also love it the way it is.

Tip two. Personal care. Often we hear the expression “well-groomed woman”, if you want to be like that, then you must definitely take care of yourself. Just imagine a room in which no one has put things in order for a long time: it will look neglected and untidy. So what do you want from your body if you don't take care of it? Many women will object and say that they cleanse and moisturize their skin daily, and sometimes even pamper themselves with masks.

But not only the process is important, but also how it is executed. Self-care should not be combined with household chores or other concerns. You need to completely relax and enjoy the procedure, whether it's a bubble bath or a cleansing facial mask. That is, all care procedures should not be mechanical, but conscious. A procedure done in passing will not bring much benefit, you need to immerse yourself in the process, as they say, with your head.
Self-care also includes stretching, physical activity. But you need to do this only if the process really gives you pleasure. When you do something for your body, it is important to be in contact with it and in harmony, not to be distracted by extraneous stimuli.

Tip three. Pleasures for the body. You need to not only love and care for your body, but also pamper it. It is through the body that we know the world, feel and feel it. Any pleasurable bodily experience will do as a pleasure for your body. Everything here is purely individual. Some people like silk sheets, others enjoy the aroma of their favorite perfume, the delicate fabric of underwear, a massage from a professional massage therapist, the touch of fur, or even the hands of a loved one.

Even the simplest things can bring a lot of pleasure. Stretch your whole body in the morning - it's so nice!
And then brew yourself delicious coffee, feeling its delicious aroma. On the street, do not withdraw into yourself, but expose your face to a light breeze and gentle sun, inhale the aromas of fresh greenery or a frosty morning. Feel your body, its movements, learn to enjoy the very opportunity to move freely and easily.

Council the fourth. Attention to the body. When you learn to love and pamper your body, start listening to it. The body gives us signals that must be noticed. The most common is pain, usually severe enough for us to accurately notice it. And we often do not pay attention to minor ailments, deterioration in well-being. But in vain! Eliminating it is much easier than fixing more serious consequences later. Pay attention to what you eat and how you do it. Most often, we eat on a schedule at the same time, or vice versa, without any mode, when a free minute appears. Eat when you really want to. And preference should be given to those dishes that you like. The rules of a healthy diet are good, but sometimes it is worth listening to the needs of your body. If you adhere to the principles of a healthy diet, but you are unbearably craving a cake, nothing bad will happen from one piece. Our body signals us about what nutrients it lacks.
Next, pay attention to sleep. Usually we spare time to sleep, leaving it for later, for the weekend, in general, following the residual principle. There is always something more important and necessary or more interesting that distracts us from this vital process. A sleepy person loses his vitality much faster, his reaction slows down, attention drops. Chronic sleep deprivation can even lead to illness.

Tip five. Presenting yourself correctly. Even the most beautiful person will not look like that if he is dressed in inappropriate clothes. the ability to dress, look stylish and attractive is one of the tricks that will help you fall in love with your own body. It is not necessary to dress expensively, but clothes should suit you and emphasize the dignity of your figure.

Psychologists give another good piece of advice on how to love your own body: stop comparing yourself to other people. You can only compare yourself in the present with yourself in the past. At the same time, only positive points should be noted.

Self respect

Until you have self-respect, you will not be able to live in harmony with yourself. It is respect that is the basis of self-love, without which it is impossible to enjoy life to the fullest.

It's impossible to love someone you don't respect.

Respect is about standing up for yourself, showing your personality, and showing others that you are truly worthy of respect. At the same time, defending one's own opinion should not be accompanied by scandal or noise. It is important to do this calmly and with dignity, then you will be treated accordingly.

Most of us are used to either silently swallowing insults and insults, or responding to them by sliding down to the level of the offender. Often after this, we are tormented by the fact that we could not find the right words and get out of the situation with dignity. But you definitely need to learn how to do this, forgetting the settings given to us in childhood. Children are rarely taught to love themselves, teachers do not always treat children with respect, just like other adults. As we grow, we get used to the fact that fighting back is unacceptable. These attitudes carry over with us into adulthood.

It is very difficult to learn not to experience these emotions and deal with them. But if you wish, you can refuse them once and for all. You need to go through this in order to learn to truly love and respect yourself. In general, there are two ways out of the conflict situation:

• Forgive the person and let go
• Reply to the offender without losing dignity, without sinking to his level

Both options are suitable for cultivating self-esteem and self-love. Each person experiences the aggressive influence of others. Anger can be directed specifically at you or just in society, but it is not necessary to experience negative emotions at all.

Distract and do not react to the irritant, especially if the meeting with such a person is short-term - for example, in line or on the bus.

If you don't like something, be sure to talk about it. Don't hide dissatisfaction in yourself. A calm and friendly tone will help solve any problem. Negative emotions should appear in your life as little as possible.

Methods for raising self-esteem

Before raising your self-esteem, you need to determine at what level it is. On a blank sheet of paper, draw a vertical line and put a dot on it. In this case, the dot symbolizes you and your attitude towards yourself. The lower the point on the graph, the lower your level of self-love. The best option is the middle, it means an adequate perception of oneself. If the point is much above average, then your self-love borders on adoration.

If self-love is clearly not enough for you, try training to cultivate it.

First exercise- quite simple and common. Take a sheet of paper and vertically divide it into two parts. On the left, write everything, even, in your opinion, your most insignificant virtues. On the right side of the sheet - your negative qualities that you would like to change in yourself. Look at the list on the right side and carefully cross out, paint over each word in it. Then tear off this half of the sheet and destroy it in any way - burn it, tear it into small pieces, cut it with scissors, flush it down the toilet, blow it in the wind. Save the remaining half and memorize these words. Every morning, in front of the mirror, repeat a list of your positive traits, starting with the words: “I am ...”. Every 3-4 days the list should be updated with a new quality. If it happens more often, even better.

Second exercise performed in the evenings. Sit down and focus, remember everything that happened during the day and praise yourself. Let for some little things or minor actions, but be sure to praise. Don't compare yourself to others, but compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Follow the dynamics, you can make notes in a notebook.

Step by step exercise which is useful for every woman. First you need to imagine your image - this is what you would like to become. It should be not only appearance, but also character, thoughts, behavior. Imagine a specific picture in which there will be a lot of details. The image should not differ too much from the original. Analyze the resulting image and remove all negativity from it. That is, you should position all your negative qualities as positive ones. For example, slowness is not a flaw, but just your feature. Perhaps you just take a more balanced approach to the performance of your tasks and responsibilities. In the same vein, consider each of your qualities. After that, your image will be more solid and complete.

Compare the resulting image with what you are now. If the self-image has a positive content, then this has a great effect on self-esteem.

• External factors are not important for true self-love. It doesn't matter what car you have, T-shirt, hairstyle - it's all external, temporary. It doesn't even matter if you have a family, children, a loved one. self-sufficiency is one of the signs of true self-love.
• Mistakes and shortcomings are your experience, your exceptional traits. Your mistakes have brought you to the point in life where you are now. And flaws are a reflection of your personality. However, it is important to understand here that the fight against negative qualities is still underway: you strive to become better and better every day.
• Love doesn't need a reason. This also applies to self-love. If the phrase “I love myself because ...” appears in my head, then this is obviously a false path.
• You need to love and respect not only your body, but also your mind. Try not to watch TV, read useful literature, develop your mind and not clog it with unnecessary information.
• Stop judging others, then you will be more condescending about your own life. Judgment is a negative that should be avoided in your life. In a conversation, you can be surprised and start a new, interesting topic for you.
• Reward and pamper yourself. For example, when you reach a certain goal, give yourself a gift. Let it be a day off, a visit to the spa, or just buying a cake.
• Stop crying and complaining, avoid this when communicating with other people. Nobody wants to love whiners, they love strong personalities who can solve their problems. If there is a person in your environment who constantly cries into your vest, just remove him from your circle.
• Trust yourself. Your desires, your intuition and intentions - all this must be put into practice, unless, of course, it has good intentions. You should not live someone else's life and behave "like everyone else", so as not to stand out from the environment.
• Find a goal and strive to achieve it. It should be a really big and exciting task that will be challenging, interesting and important. This will help you become an interesting person, and first of all interesting for yourself.

By rethinking your life, you can raise your self-esteem, love yourself and really enjoy every moment. Happy people attract positivity - love yourself and test it for yourself.