Why do people who consider themselves close and dear to each other begin to cool down over time and become strangers? Is it true that love gradually ends, and instead comes disappointment, resentment and emptiness? Here you need to understand that a great and pure feeling develops according to its own laws and has three important stages.

Rice. Why does love pass?

Stages of love

The first stage is characterized by intense love. Its hallmarks are extraordinary uplift and aura of romance. At the same time, partners try to show each other only the most the best sides their characters. However, gradually the relationship matures, and the turn of the second stage begins.

She is characterized by a decline in the romantic state. At the same time, the partners seem to take off their holiday clothes and appear in front of each other in their usual form. And here it turns out that the object of love and worship is not at all ideal. This is an ordinary person with his own shortcomings, habits and pretensions.

The next stage is the most interesting. It characterizes the psychological maturity of a once-in-love couple. Self-sufficient and serious people begin to treat each other objectively and impartially. Some maintain relationships and live together for many years. And others become like capricious children. They begin to make claims and complain that their expectations were disappointed. As a result, such couples break up, and nothing can reunite them again.

There is a French film. It is called - "Love lives for three years." The name is very accurate, since according to statistics the most a large number of divorces are recorded in the first four years family life... The data is sad, and all because the partners cannot cope with the third stage of the relationship and part.

Love does not pass, it transforms and acquires more and more new qualities.

Such people do not understand that love does not disappear at all. It simply takes on different forms and different content. A man and a woman no longer need to constantly look at each other tenderly, which is characteristic of the early love stage. But they have a common life, they coexist side by side, they have a joint household. At the same time, love relationships move to a higher and subtle level. This means that a loved one is perceived with all their strengths and weaknesses. As a result, absolute trust arises, and such couples live together their whole lives.

However, few can boast of such a relationship. Most couples painfully perceive the change in love stages. They are seen as unexpected, and the natural transformation of a love affair is misunderstood as alienation. The woman thinks that since there is no previous passion in the eyes of her partner, then she is boring and tired of him. And a man is more and more drawn to do current affairs, since one cannot forever admire a partner. All this ends with mutual reproaches and claims.

At the same time, it should be noted that, in practice,. In other words, a harmonious family is possible. You just need to understand that each partner is not half responsible, as is usually believed, but completely 100%. After all, from how everyone behaves, complete family success is formed.

In such situations, psychotherapists usually help people who are disappointed in each other. But you can reanimate the outgoing love without the bottom. It all depends on the desire and maturity of a man and a woman. They just have to understand that love does not pass, but takes on a completely different quality and appearance... This is all its charm, depth and power!

It is unusually sad when feelings end between two people who, once literally went crazy with love for each other. At this moment it seems to them that the world is crumbling, and nothing can be done. But is this really what happens? Does love really pass, or is it just entering another stage? It is very important to distinguish between these points. It is important to distinguish between the transition of relations to another level, from their complete completion. It will be useful to know that there are certain crises in life together. Each pair passes through them and you should not hope that they will safely pass you.

Love is gone? The first crisis.

It is also called the one-year crisis. The courtship period ended and began living together... This is where frustration often sets in. You see in front of you another person who is different from the one with whom you went to cafes, had fun at parties, walked in the park. You see his or her flaws and wonder. Do you want to live with such a person all your life? Did you make the right choice? And so on and so on. But any person has shortcomings. It seems that love has passed, but you just get to know each other better. If the feelings are immature, at this stage the young couple often break up.

Another point. Often, on initial stage living together, people take fading passion as a sign of outgoing love. Here you need to understand that high level passion cannot last forever. She just gets calmer over time. If two people remain attracted to each other, there is no cause for concern. Love has not passed. She just moved to another, calmer level.

The second crisis.

But the first crisis cannot be compared to the second crisis, which occurs after about seven years of marriage. The thing is that it is in seven years that a person completely changes. This fact has been scientifically proven. Even the ancient Greek philosophers measured human life for seven years. Modern science says that the composition of the human body changes over this period of time. And psychology claims that the worldview is also changing. A person sees the world in a completely different way than seven years ago. And the partner thinks that in front of him is already a completely different person. Not the one with whom they started, once a life together. It should be noted that this is quite serious, and at this stage a large number of quite successful couples break up.

In addition to these two major crises, life together goes through many small ones. Which also test the strength of the feelings of two people.

Does love pass?

This question cannot be answered unequivocally. It so happens that feelings persist for life. You just need to know that love is not the same. Stormy, from a young age, she becomes calmer in adulthood and develops into a deep sense of mutual concern - in the old. Love doesn't go away. She's just transforming. Happy are the people who understood this and carried this multifaceted feeling of love throughout their lives.

Test of love.

Life tests our love for strength. Tests can be serious and not so. A loved one can suddenly become seriously ill. Usually people drive away these thoughts from themselves, but it is worth considering whether you are ready to care for a sick loved one. Ask. And answer the question honestly. This will allow you to understand the depth of your feelings.

A serious test is the betrayal of one of the partners. Are you ready to forgive him or her? And, in general, are your mutual feelings really so strong, if it became necessary to establish other relationships.

But what if the love is gone.

Unfortunately, it happens that love passes completely. Burning feelings fade away and people understand this. Sometimes, they get incredibly upset. It seems to them that life is over and there will be only emptiness and. Or maybe all this is for the best?

I must say, if you meet such people suffering today in a few years, you will see that they live quite normally. There is no trace of past emotional experiences. And many of them have already met new love and quite happy c.

It so happens that a man suddenly meets a woman, or a woman meets the man she broke up with. And nothing even reminds of past feelings. Just by chance two people meet who once knew each other, but now there is absolutely nothing connecting them. This feeling is familiar to many. Now remember your condition at the very moment of parting. It was hardly so indifferent and calm. Most likely, it was a storm of indignation, bitterness and resentment. It seemed that there was no need if the person was not around.

But, as you know, time heals. And this treatment is very effective.

Brighten up the bitterness of parting.

So if love has passed, you should take it as calmly as possible. You need to understand that, perhaps, fate has prepared another party for you. More suitable. But you need to part so that there are no grievances and claims. It is so difficult. Sometimes it is very difficult, but it is worth striving for. You need to remember how you once felt good together, and forgive each other.

After all, it is known that grievances lodged in the depths of the subconscious can cause many diseases. Including very serious ones. Why do you need such a load?

Try to make peace with your object. former love... You will feel much better.

How to understand that love is passing away?

You will understand this immediately. It will no longer be necessary to see this person every day, to talk to him on the phone. You will no longer be anxious to choose a gift for a birthday or for some other holiday. You will no longer be indescribable delight if you could please your loved one.

But here life is preparing another surprise. Sometimes, a temporary cooling of the relationship is irrevocably taken as a sign that love has passed. This also happens. Then you can try.

Sorting out all this is far from easy. No wonder, the theme of love is the most difficult of the themes. It is difficult to advise anything here. The only advice that can be given is to listen to yourself, analyze your inner state. It's safe to say that your inner voice will tell you when love is really gone.

You should always remember that life presents us with a huge variety of surprises. Including in the field of love.

It is no longer a secret for anyone that in the modern world, any kind of feelings arise between a man and a woman, except for love itself. For the sake of simplicity, they have now become simply called relationships based on no matter what - whether it is sympathy, respect, or on a business, pragmatic basis. These so-called relationships are repeated, not love. The very fact that there are any ties between a man and a woman cannot be automatically determined as love. Neutral, nothing meaningful word a relationship a normal person will not name love. Is it difficult to call friendship between a man and a woman friendship, sex - sex, love - love. These very relationships can be repeated indefinitely, the carriers of these relationships would have the strength and desire to continue them. What this repetitive relationship has (what a lexical pun) to love is not clear. Relationships can only be assessed qualitatively, depending on the emotional and sensory saturation. It's no secret that in a relationship there can be no feelings, except for calculation or ordinary sexual attraction... For example, the habit of relationships occurs, as a rule, after the third marriage or relationship. If the first two relationships were still inherent, though not love, but some kind of romance, purity and elevation of feelings, then in subsequent relationships everything turns into a routine, into a quasi-relationship. The feeling of novelty, uniqueness of sensations, trepidation and tenderness, characteristic of the first relationship, completely disappears. After two or three unsuccessful love relationship people are looking for more salvation from loneliness than love. There are, of course, exceptions, but they are characteristic of subtle artistic natures, distinguished by the ability to play in love, to come up with something that does not exist. For those who are ready to try their luck in their second and third marriages, the feeling of falling in love has not yet been completely lost, they still have a secret hope for a miracle, for the opportunity to find their half, this or that one, which in soul and body will belong to you and only to you. ... It seems to many that in a new relationship they will find the one that they were looking for and did not find in their previous relationship, but such hopes turn out to be in vain, and young people step on the same "rake", called "we did not agree" or "you and I are different ". However, after three unsuccessful marriages, the last hope of finding love dies, only disappointments and lost illusions about happiness in personal life remain. People can continue to change partners, hoping to find love in a new relationship, but instead of them in best case can find a roommate willing to brighten up your loneliness. Such a relationship will be like travelers who are tired of looking for love and have decided to be content with what is - a partnership. It might not be what they were looking for — not love. But it's still better than being alone. A natural ending for people for whom marriage is not based on love, but on relationships that "come and go". Which is quite natural, that is why they and relations come and go. This is "only love does not pass, no".

It is unusually sad when feelings end between two people who, once literally went crazy with love for each other. At this moment it seems to them that the world is crumbling, and nothing can be done. But is this really what happens? Does love really pass, or is it just entering another stage? It is very important to distinguish between these points. It is important to distinguish between the transition of relations to another level, from their complete completion. It will be useful to know that there are certain crises in life together. Each pair passes through them and you should not hope that they will safely pass you.

Love is gone? The first crisis.

It is also called the one-year crisis. The courtship period ended, and a life together began. This is where frustration often sets in. You see in front of you another person who is different from the one with whom you went to cafes, had fun at parties, walked in the park. You see his or her flaws and wonder. Do you want to live with such a person all your life? Did you make the right choice? And so on and so on. But any person has shortcomings. It seems that love has passed, but you just get to know each other better. If the feelings are immature, at this stage the young couple often break up.

Another point. Often, at the initial stage of life together, people take fading passion as a sign of outgoing love. Here you need to understand that a high level of passion cannot last forever. She just gets calmer over time. If two people remain attracted to each other, there is no cause for concern. Love has not passed. She just moved to another, calmer level.

The second crisis.

But the first crisis cannot be compared to the second crisis, which occurs after about seven years of marriage. The thing is that it is in seven years that a person completely changes. This fact has been scientifically proven. Even the ancient Greek philosophers measured human life for seven years. Modern science says that the composition of the human body changes over this period of time. And psychology claims that the worldview is also changing. A person sees the world in a completely different way than seven years ago. And the partner thinks that in front of him is already a completely different person. Not the one with whom they started, once a life together. It should be noted that this is quite serious, and at this stage a large number of quite successful couples break up.

In addition to these two major crises, life together goes through many small ones. Which also test the strength of the feelings of two people.

Does love pass?

This question cannot be answered unequivocally. It so happens that feelings persist for life. You just need to know that love is not the same. Stormy, from a young age, she becomes calmer in adulthood and develops into a deep sense of mutual concern - in the old. Love doesn't go away. She's just transforming. Happy are the people who understood this and carried this multifaceted feeling of love throughout their lives.

Test of love.

Life tests our love for strength. Tests can be serious and not so. A loved one can suddenly become seriously ill. Usually people drive away these thoughts from themselves, but it is worth considering whether you are ready to care for a sick loved one. Ask. And answer the question honestly. This will allow you to understand the depth of your feelings.

A serious test is the betrayal of one of the partners. Are you ready to forgive him or her? And, in general, are your mutual feelings really so strong, if it became necessary to establish other relationships.

But what if the love is gone.

Unfortunately, it happens that love passes completely. Burning feelings fade away and people understand this. Sometimes, they get incredibly upset. It seems to them that life is over and there will be only emptiness and. Or maybe all this is for the best?

I must say, if you meet such people suffering today in a few years, you will see that they live quite normally. There is no trace of past emotional experiences. And many of them have already met new love and are quite happy c.

It so happens that a man suddenly meets a woman, or a woman meets the man she broke up with. And nothing even reminds of past feelings. Just by chance two people meet who once knew each other, but now there is absolutely nothing connecting them. This feeling is familiar to many. Now remember your condition at the very moment of parting. It was hardly so indifferent and calm. Most likely, it was a storm of indignation, bitterness and resentment. It seemed that there was no need if the person was not around.

But, as you know, time heals. And this treatment is very effective.

Brighten up the bitterness of parting.

So if love has passed, you should take it as calmly as possible. You need to understand that, perhaps, fate has prepared another party for you. More suitable. But you need to part so that there are no grievances and claims. It is so difficult. Sometimes it is very difficult, but it is worth striving for. You need to remember how you once felt good together, and forgive each other.

After all, it is known that grievances lodged in the depths of the subconscious can cause many diseases. Including very serious ones. Why do you need such a load?

Try to make up with the object of your former love. You will feel much better.

How to understand that love is passing away?

You will understand this immediately. It will no longer be necessary to see this person every day, to talk to him on the phone. You will no longer be anxious to choose a gift for a birthday or for some other holiday. You will no longer be indescribable delight if you could please your loved one.

But here life is preparing another surprise. Sometimes, a temporary cooling of the relationship is irrevocably taken as a sign that love has passed. This also happens. Then you can try.

Sorting out all this is far from easy. No wonder, the theme of love is the most difficult of the themes. It is difficult to advise anything here. The only advice that can be given is to listen to yourself, analyze your inner state. It's safe to say that your inner voice will tell you when love is really gone.

You should always remember that life presents us with a huge variety of surprises. Including in the field of love.