I feel like a worthless person and a failure - what should I do? How to learn to value yourself

Very often I have to hear the saying: “I feel like a worthless person. and nothing in her pleases. " Paradoxically, not only deeply unhappy people who do not have a roof over their heads and a piece of bread for food characterize their condition in this way. Even the most successful and self-sufficient individuals sometimes become discouraged when a streak of failure accompanies them for a long time. Let's try to figure out the problem and try to solve it as soon as possible.

Why did I become a failure

"How to live if you feel insignificant?" - such thoughts occur to completely different people: choleric and phlegmatic, life-loving and misanthrope, introverts and extroverts, optimists and pessimists. Temporary despondency covered each of us at some point in time, only to a greater or lesser extent. Since material well-being is a priority in all aspects of life, it is considered to be the main factor of success. To some extent, this is true, since a person needs a certain amount of funds every day in order not to starve to death. At the same time, each of us knows that money cannot fully satisfy human needs, especially with regard to moral aspects. A worthless person feels that way when he is not loved, respected, or simply ignored. And the degree of his feelings, believe me, does not in any way depend on the amount of deposits in his accounts.

In support of the above thought, one can recall the great people who remained in poverty during their lifetime and received recognition only after death. How can they be called losers, because they have gained worldwide popularity? We consider them the most successful, but neither Van Gogh, nor Gauguin, nor hundreds of other masters unrecognized during their lifetime were able to feel the rays of glory. They suffered and needed an extra penny, considering themselves the most insignificant people in the world.

Signs of a classic loser

“I feel like a worthless person and a failure,” say people who have fallen into despair. To realize and assess your condition (this is the first step in solving the problem), you need to analyze what obvious signs should be present in this case. Perhaps this is just a momentary weakness that will quickly pass and leave no trace. But if you know your current state, you should start thinking about further tactics and strategy, which we will talk about later. So, the signs of a failure are:

  • constant search for self-justification;
  • exposing the shortcomings of other people is a "balm" for your self-esteem;
  • the constant presence of envy of others, more successful people (even strangers);
  • permanent;
  • the presence of guilt in front of loved ones, since a person cannot provide them with a decent life;
  • irritability, constant grumbling, chronic dissatisfaction with everything that happens around is noted;
  • there is a feeling of anxiety, melancholy, or depression;
  • thoughts about the past do not give rest, and regret that nothing can no longer be changed;
  • fear that life is wasted;
  • panicky attitude to the monotonous regularity of life.

Causes

If, after this list, you are affirmed in the thought: "I finally feel like a complete insignificance," then the description hit the very spot. And before dealing with the consequences, it is necessary to find out the reasons for this condition:

  1. Parents spoiled too much. The child is used to receiving everything on demand. As an adult, a person is faced with reality, when others are in no hurry to fulfill all his whims. He is disappointed, so he feels like a failure.
  2. Excessive severity in education. From childhood, the child is accustomed to being asked too much of him. He tried as best he could, but his strength was not enough. He just dried up and lost interest in life.
  3. Perfectionism. The man has raised the bar too high, which he cannot overcome in any way. Constant demands on oneself and striving for the ideal do not find its embodiment in life (it is impossible to succeed everywhere and in everything). Lack of success in one of the aspects of life is the reason for feeling like a worthless person.
  4. Avoiding reality. Some personalities live in their own imaginary world. This is due to temperament (introverts prefer to be alone with their thoughts), lifestyle (isolation, lack of sociability, neglect of their health), addictions (alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling addiction). Returning to the real world, a person is lost and feels frustrated.
  5. Excessive daydreaming. Sometimes people get too carried away with their dreams and begin to confuse them with reality. They come up with projects that will never come true. For example, a person wants to make a billion or live on Mars, but does not have a decent income and is afraid to fly an airplane. You need to objectively assess your capabilities so that you do not get disappointed later.

Miraculous transformation

It's time to decide why I still feel insignificant and what needs to be done to get rid of this obsessive thought. If a person was able to give himself a characteristic (even the most negative one), he already deserves praise. Only those who are unable to evaluate themselves remain a failure until the end of their days. The saddest thing is that he himself does not realize this, such an assessment is given to him by the people around him. And this is much worse than excessive self-criticism. It is the lack of confidence in one's abilities that is the driving force for changing the situation for the better, so you should not panic, but rather actively take action.

The best advice on how to stop feeling like a worthless person is a call to action. It is safe to say that in thirty days a person can feel a real result if he adheres to thirty rules. For this, every effort must be made so as not to forget any of them. One new recommendation needs to be added every day. They are classified into certain sections, if desired, they can be swapped (but just not get confused). To begin with, it is recommended that you familiarize yourself with a complete list of all the rules, and then proceed to the gradual development.

Do your best

The statement of fact like “I feel unnecessary” should be forgotten in the first place. This is a mistaken impression, since there is no such thing that a person does not have a single acquaintance who would like to contact him. In all likelihood, this is the choice of the individual himself, since he does not need outside attention.

Extreme efforts are urgently needed to remedy the situation. This can be done thanks to the recommendations:

  1. Let go of the habit of blaming other people. Whatever happens, you need to look for solutions based on your own behavior (analyzing the path traveled and making plans for the future), let the actions of those around you remain not yours, but their problems.
  2. Get rid of unnecessary things. To do this, you need to correctly prioritize and do only what is beneficial. We are talking about work, leisure and good sleep, and endless TV viewing or hanging on social networks must be eliminated or minimized.
  3. Forget past failures. There is no need to hesitate, whine and compare current plans with past events. There is nothing in common between them.
  4. Strive for improvement. To understand how to learn to value yourself, you need to try to do each new business better than the previous one.
  5. Do something that brings a positive attitude. We are talking about a new hobby, visiting various establishments, exciting travels, etc. Everyone will decide for himself what exactly gives him pleasure.
  6. To apologize. If you did something wrong, ask for forgiveness for your behavior. By doing this, you can relieve your soul and take the path of new victories without unnecessary moral burden.

Expand your limits

The realization that "I am nothing" will remain forever forgotten if you continue to follow these guidelines:

  1. Objectively assess your fears. You can understand how dangerous they are if you look at them from the outside and imagine the most negative outcome of the situation. If nothing threatens your life, it means that the attitude to fears is too exaggerated.
  2. Make extra effort. Try to make the job even better, don't be afraid to put in extra effort for a better result. Over time, total dedication will become a habit, and the efforts will pay off handsomely.
  3. Don't dwell on other people's opinions. This is how you can figure out how to learn to value yourself. Behavior must be unambiguous, but people's judgments are always subjective. Listen to yourself, as it is impossible to please everyone.
  4. Experiment with problems. It is recommended to choose a business that requires some effort. An easy victory does not bring complete satisfaction, so it makes sense to bet on your own strengths.
  5. Question all situations. You shouldn't dwell on the obvious answer to the question right away; you need to consider other options as well.

Be brave and determined

A person will never be able to say about himself that I am nothing if he listens to the following advice:

  1. Tune in for the long term. Only reasonable planning will lead to the long-awaited victory; quick success is not always a guarantee of well-being.
  2. Don't despair. Do not feel sorry for yourself and analyze failures for a long time, this will turn into a waste of time. You need to draw the necessary conclusions and start another attempt to improve your life.
  3. Don't stop half way. If everything is going well, but the real result has not yet been achieved, do not stop. Not everything can change overnight, you need to be patient.
  4. Don't stop moving towards success. Even if there is almost no strength left, you need to take a break and move on. Real victories do not come by themselves, they need to be won. All successful people have done this.

Don't be afraid to make big plans

There is one answer to the question of how to get out of sadness and depression: dream and plan. Thoughts tend to turn into reality, so grandiose prospects will definitely be beneficial. To do this, you need to take the following steps:

  1. Planning more than expected as a result. There is no need to make unrealistic plans, but it is simply necessary to raise the bar. This encourages more responsible and constructive work.
  2. Think great. There is no need to be afraid to take risks, the plan should be more global than the banal absence of loss. You need to plan for things that lead to profit (or improvement), and not limited to a modest balance between good and bad.
  3. Forget recognition. This is not about the absence of fame and honor, but about the fact that one does not need to strive for it on the way to achieving the goal. Work is of the utmost priority, and the respect of others will only be a reward.
  4. Prepare for defeat. This is a common situation on the road to success, since it is not possible to achieve everything the first time (as evidenced by statistics). There will be many obstacles on the way, you need to treat them philosophically.

Give people gratitude

You will never be able to utter the phrase: "I feel like nothing" if you heed the following tips:

  1. See the positives. In any, even the most disastrous situation, it is necessary to look for positive aspects. They must be present, since "a negative result is also a result."
  2. Capturing the positives. It is necessary to make it a rule to write down all your achievements and positive moments in life. By periodically rereading your triumphs, you will erect barriers between fear and reality. It is very useful to remember how scary everything seemed and how ordinary it became at the end.
  3. Stop fussing. There is no need to rush anywhere and make unnecessary movements, it is better to correctly plan your time.
  4. Thank people more often. Train yourself to say "thank you" for every service you receive. You will soon see how many positive emotions such communication with people will bring.
  5. Laugh at yourself. This is very important when a person knows how to laugh at himself, because it is self-irony that allows you to relax and look at your mistakes from a different angle.

Conquer your fears and concerns

I feel like nothing. Such an attitude towards yourself will be impossible, because, approaching the final stage, you will already have something to be proud of. But for complete satisfaction, you need to take a few more steps:

  1. Choose the optimal operating mode. An increase in the hormone cortisol leads to negative changes in the body. To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to provide the brain with rest, since it is necessary for the restoration of moral and spiritual strength.
  2. Control emotions. You should not give in to impulsive desires and whims, and anxiety and fear must be controlled.
  3. Listen to objective opinions from the outside. It is necessary to find a person whom you can trust and consult with him on some issues. Your point of view and a view from the outside will help to recreate the true picture of what is happening.
  4. Normalize activity. Vigorous activity suppresses fear. In order not to repeat "I feel unnecessary", it is better to do something than to sit and be afraid.
  5. To abstract from the negative. It is recommended to think exclusively positively and not project negative experiences (yours and others') onto yourself. Expressions "I am always unlucky" or "something bad always happens to me" should be permanently excluded from your vocabulary.
  6. Avoid extremes. Since there are so many shades between black and white in life, it’s smart to try not to be so categorical. It is necessary to consider the situation from different angles, be flexible and be able to always find a compromise.

Summing up, it should be said that thoughts and expressions like “I feel like nothing” have no place in a person's head. Each individual is a person who is worthy of respect. You cannot underestimate yourself, give up and mourn your hard and hopeless life. It is necessary to try out the above method, it must definitely bring positive results. And such thoughts will be regarded as temporary weakness or seasonal melancholy. It passed as soon as the tender sun appeared in the sky.